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Jobs you couldn't do


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9 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

I’ve been building/clambering about on these this week. Not quite the same drop but would still be a decent splat.

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Have you got a ladder propped on the top of that platform if so, I hope there will be hot sausage rolls at your funeral.

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Something I'm demonstrably unable to do is sales. I almost went down that route a good long while ago in IT, and you invariably end up in the position of trying to convince people to spend as much money as possible rather than actually fix their problem. I lost track of how many people had been advised that their computer was running slowly because it was old and needed to be replaced, when all they needed was to delete some shit from their hard drive, or just get a bigger hard drive installed, and it would've coped happily with their word processing/web surfing needs for years to come. A cheap RAM upgrade was another common solution to issues that were diagnosed as "too old to run that, mate, I'll sell you a new one for a grand".

I'd imagine this is also a common morality issue for people who work at chain garages, plumbers, etc.

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45 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

I’ve been building/clambering about on these this week. Not quite the same drop but would still be a decent splat.

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Mrs Par wants to know if the life insurance policy payments are up to date.

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1 hour ago, Granny Danger said:

Mrs Par wants to know if the life insurance policy payments are up to date.

She brought me a red bull the other day and kindly shouted up “you’d be dead by now if you’d been doing this for the last 20 years”. 

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1 hour ago, Karpaty Lviv said:

Bailiff. Evicting someone from their home because they are in debt, especially these days, I couldn’t do it.

The videos on YouTube confirm every one of them are c***s.

ooooh, thats a good shout that. I think ive posted this before but it always strikes me as mad how shows like Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away! imply in the intro or in their advertising that you'll be watching the bailiffs grabbing stuff like brand new Audi's off peoples driveways for non-payment, but then you watch it and it's basically just a depressing half an hour of them kicking immigrants out of hovels for non-payment of rent.

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4 hours ago, Thistle_do_nicely said:

ooooh, thats a good shout that. I think ive posted this before but it always strikes me as mad how shows like Can't Pay? We'll Take It Away! imply in the intro or in their advertising that you'll be watching the bailiffs grabbing stuff like brand new Audi's off peoples driveways for non-payment, but then you watch it and it's basically just a depressing half an hour of them kicking immigrants out of hovels for non-payment of rent.

Watching that show, I've had the feeling the producers are trying to hold up a mirror and say, "see what these hostile immigration policies are doing to people?"

I don't know if it comes across, or if the audience is primarily racists wanking themselves silly over poor foreigners being made homeless.

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I couldn't be a football steward. Not being able to watch the game. Depending on the fixture, might mean you have to watch mutant supporters instead, getting abuse hurled at you with no real power to do anything back.

Traffic Warden. I am not a c**t.

Care home worker. Hats off to those that do this job, I personally couldn't.

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12 hours ago, 1nickydevlin said:

I'm a plumber and heating engineer and I enjoy it mostly  .but painting and decorating must be pretty soul destroying  .

Fancy a charity fight with @Shandon Par.

 

In the Autumnal Sunrise by Craig & Rose corner is the Painting and Decorating fraternity and in the brown corner is the plumbing fraternity.

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I'm a plumber and heating engineer and I enjoy it mostly  .but painting and decorating must be pretty soul destroying  .

Don’t hate my job as it’s different most days but I think painting and decorating would be a brilliant job. Once it’s all set up with dust sheets etc then it just a wee relaxing day singing along to the radio
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1 hour ago, just me 2 said:


Don’t hate my job as it’s different most days but I think painting and decorating would be a brilliant job. Once it’s all set up with dust sheets etc then it just a wee relaxing day singing along to the radio

I just hate painting  .I get bored after about 10 mins usually kick paint tub over etc .and the smell gives me a headache ..shite doesn't bother me though lol.

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7 minutes ago, 1nickydevlin said:

I just hate painting  .I get bored after about 10 mins usually kick paint tub over etc .and the smell gives me a headache ..shite doesn't bother me though lol.

I always feel I should be slipping places like B&q a few quid as the paint etc these stores sell is such shite that people inevitably make a terrible job of their home decor. 
 

It’s the creative side I like. Transforming the look of shops or homes and seeing how happy it makes folk. The peace is good during a job too. 

Edited by Shandon Par
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