True / False Facts About Yourself

[johnnydun]

2 minutes ago, tamthebam said:

F*cking predictive text.

It was lucky for Tony That he died before Morph could report him to Operation Yew tree for plasticine abuse.

Also I wonder who That of Midlothian will be signing and who will feature on Roddy That's Radio Scotland show this week 

Everything changes with predictive text.

[Moomintroll]

1) I would have featured on a BBC2 Programme along with the current Chairman of Darvel FC If I hadn't made a libellious statement about the owner of Barnet FC.

2) I made up for that by appearing as an extra in a drama starring Pauline Quirke & Andy Gray.

3) I won several singles in a Westsound Competition that was completely fixed as the DJ involved got on the Ayr Train in Kilwinning Station when my Mum ran the CTN stall there & they arranged it. Although it was not the original, to this day Montego Bay is one of my favourite songs.

4) Malky McCormick created a caricature of me as we were the only 2 Killie supporters to miss Danny Crainies wondergoal at Firhill, me because I was bolloxed with flu, him because he was clouting his son for wanting the toilet.

[Empty It]

Based on just some of these posts I would buy a Hedgecutter autobiography.

[Richey Edwards]

1. Something I did while absolutely blootered out my face was strongly condemned by various media outlets, and yet no one knows it was me who did it.

2. My cousin is both the last Scotland player to score at a major tournament, and the last to be red carded at a major tournament.

3. Paul Lambert called me a horrible wee b*****d and reported me to the police for blocking his driveway with my car.

4. Henrik Larsson put a brick through my grans window.

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, Perkin Flump said:

2) I made up for that by appearing as an extra in a drama starring Pauline Quirke & Andy Gray.

Before or after he got the sack from Sky Sports?

[DiegoDiego]

4) Malky McCormick created a caricature of me as we were the only 2 Killie supporters to miss Danny Crainies wondergoal at Firhill, me because I was bolloxed with flu, him because he was clouting his son for wanting the toilet.

My first ever Thistle game, that was.

[coprolite]

I once pished myself outside a pub

I once shat myself outside a pub

I once glassed myself outside a pub

[Mark Connolly]

On 13/06/2021 at 13:57, Richey Edwards said:

1. Something I did while absolutely blootered out my face was strongly condemned by various media outlets, and yet no one knows it was me who did it.

2. My cousin is both the last Scotland player to score at a major tournament, and the last to be red carded at a major tournament.

3. Paul Lambert called me a horrible wee b*****d and reported me to the police for blocking his driveway with my car.

4. Henrik Larsson put a brick through my grans window.

Based on number 2, is your dad a former Hearts manager?

[DeeTillEhDeh]

Is anyone actually going to guess any of these?

[Mark Connolly]

42 minutes ago, DeeTillEhDeh said:

Is anyone actually going to guess any of these?
 

1. I am

2. I'm not

[Hedgecutter]

1. I have been to Namibia, Zimbabwe, Bolivia, Argentina, Vietnam, Japan, China, Libya, Chad, Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Svalbard and even Antarctica and South Georgia, but not a single EU country other than the UK when we were in it (and transferring flights at Schiphol).

2. I have experienced a >7.5 Richter scale earthquake

3. Whilst leading a work field trip up on the North Coast, I got offered a significant package of live ammunition by a stranger / stressed lorry driver who had just driven up from Down South but couldn't get in touch with his MoD contact (which had an inaccessible delivery address).  I turned down the offer of passing it on as I presumed that loading boxes of explosive ammunition onto a Transit minibus filled with colleagues would be ill-advised.

Edited June 14, 2021 by Hedgecutter

[Sweaty Morph]

On 13/06/2021 at 12:38, tamthebam said:

It was lucky for Tony That he died before Morph could report him to Operation Yew tree for plasticine abuse.

Plasticine abuse a.k.a Playdohphillia

[GordonD]

2 hours ago, Sweaty Morph said:

Plasticine abuse a.k.a Playdohphillia

 

[sugna]

On 13/06/2021 at 12:58, Perkin Flump said:

2) I made up for that by appearing as an extra in a drama starring Pauline Quirke & Andy Gray.

I'm calling true on that one.

The writer of Double Nuggets (the actually-happened drama that I'm inferring) is a friend of a friend. We used to go and see her in Clyde Unity productions. I particularly enjoyed her playing a character who had been single for a long time, and her lamentation that, "There comes a time when yer knickers are achin' tae be removed by a hand ither than yer ain!"

[Ad Lib]

(1) I met Terry Venables at Legoland Windsor

(2) I met Peter Beardsley at Disneyland Paris

(3) I met Alan Curbishley at Phantasialand in North Rhine-Westphalia

[Moomintroll]

1 hour ago, sugna said:

I'm calling true on that one.

The writer of Double Nuggets (the actually-happened drama that I'm inferring) is a friend of a friend. We used to go and see her in Clyde Unity productions. I particularly enjoyed her playing a character who had been single for a long time, and her lamentation that, "There comes a time when yer knickers are achin' tae be removed by a hand ither than yer ain!"

That was the false one, I was an extra during the filming but the rotten buggers cut my scene. Knew a few people who were involved through being in North Ayrshire Youth Theatre. The less said about the guy who inspired the story, the better.

[sugna]

3 minutes ago, Perkin Flump said:

That was the false one, I was an extra during the filming but the rotten buggers cut my scene. Knew a few people who were involved through being in North Ayrshire Youth Theatre. The less said about the guy who inspired the story, the better.

Excellent lie. All plausible falsehoods should have a basis in reality.

I'm now reminded of Douglas coaching Arthur on how to lie, in Cabin Pressure.

[johnnydun]

1) My house is featured in 3 of 'The View's' music videos, 'Superstar Tradesman' 'The Don' and 'Skag Trendy'.

2) I once enjoyed a meal with just myself and the Under Secretary General for the UN.

3) I had a previous goal scoring rate in Amateur football of 2 goals a game over a season.

[Stellaboz]

I have a tattoo of Liam Gallagher
I have a tattoo of James McFadden
I have a tattoo of Jim Leishman
I have a tattoo of Tatu

[Flybhoy]

1. Me and my brother have the same birthday nine years apart 

2. I have one kidney 

3. I once shat myself in Behind the Wall in Falkirk whilst wearing a pair of white jeans (it was the 90's) after a dodgy Sean St Ledger....I never did get a second date with the girl I was out with that night.

4. I was once knocked clean out before a game between Ayr United and Stirling Albion after a stray warm up shot from Vinnie Moore hit me square in the coupon as I was reading the programme, was about 14 year old, the Ayr physio came over and gave me the smelling salts