Living with cancer (and madwullie memorial thread)

[101]

39 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I was thinking more...

"We can cure you but it'll cost £1m.

Nah, you're alright, just give me the money. "

If you ever need a quote I'm happy to stick a website together and offer you the treatment for a 7 figure sum in the understanding 25% comes back to me for this service.

[BlueBear]

On 20/06/2021 at 20:27, Jimi Shandrix said:

Really sad news. Far too young. My sincere condolences to his friends and family. I myself beat cancer 4 years ago but after going for an MRI yesterday on what I thought was a fucked disc at Ninewells it would appear my spine is fucking riddled with it. Outlook not great for me and I am scared as f**k but ready to fight. Hope to be spouting my shite on here again soon. Adios until then and remember to tell your nearest and dearest that you love them. 

Awful news to get mate, but stay strong. Where there's life there's hope. 

I'm a long term sufferer of prostate cancer. Had the op 5 years ago, but it's now back, so treatment starting next week. 

Bit of a shock when I was told of the recurrence, but I've sort of got my head around it, maybe because of having it before. 

I take it one day at a time and everyday precious. It certainly changes you and can be a roller coaster at times. 

A mate of mine in Aberdeen got the bad news 2 years ago and had spread to his lower back.  Got the treatment and he's doing fine. 

Stay positive mate as there's so much they can do these days. 

Edited June 24, 2021 by BlueBear

[Jacksgranda]

3 hours ago, Granny Danger said:

That is a good idea; it’s the only way any nice things will be written about me once I’m gone.

 

Nobody bad ever dies G D, at your funeral you'll be getting praised up and down that much your family will wonder who is getting talked about...

[Granny Danger]

4 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said:

Nobody bad ever dies G D, at your funeral you'll be getting praised up and down that much your family will wonder who is getting talked about...

That’s if they turn up.

[Jacksgranda]

Oh, they'll turn up allright, they'll want to make sure you're awa'.

[Honest Saints Fan]

3 hours ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

I was thinking more...

"We can cure you but it'll cost £1m.

Nah, you're alright, just give me the money. "

 

I'm not sure what @Rugster would pick... 

[Ad Lib]

I really hope that everyone who’s struggling with this disease, whether directly or being around nearest and dearest with it, are getting the support they need. My own family has gone through a steady train of brain tumour pish in recent years (my mum’s dad died with one in summer 2017, my dad’s mum died with one in early 2018, and in late 2019 my dad got diagnosed with one).

It turns people’s lives completely upside down, totally shattering plans and expectations and assumptions about the way your life is going to be. With dad its like he’s gone senile post op and radio/chemo and we know it’s just a matter of time. That’s obviously rubbish for him but it’s been horrendous for my mum, who had always counted on him being the one to look after her (with all her own health issues) in old age.

I’m lucky enough to have them down here at the moment for a bit, and I’ll hopefully be up in August for my nephew’s baptism, but there is that dawning realisation that they gave him 18 months in March 2020, and that despite a relatively stable spell in late 2020 he’s close to borrowed time now.

At times it feels like you’re doing the grieving long before he actually passes though, as all the things that gave him joy and all the things that were shared experiences in our father son relationship just become harder or impossible. Dad’s love was classic cars; he can’t drive. We would always banter with puns; he struggles to string a sentence together without using the wrong word. Right now we are watching the cricket and he saw Phil Tufnell and said “that’s that rugby player. Wait. No. Not rugby”. He knows he’s trapped in this cloud of fuzzy nonsense but he can’t quite fight out of it. He came into the study during the pandemic and once said that lunch was “the flat disc thingies” (meaning pizzas ). He would pass some time reading the newspaper early on in his treatment; he can’t now read much more competently than an 8 year old child.

It’s the robbed time I resent. If I find a woman who’ll have me he’ll probably never meet her. If I have children he’ll never meet them. They’ll never get to know the sharp silly man we’ve all loved for decades.

In many ways I’ve been so lucky to have him in my life throughout my childhood as a reliable and supportive influence. I really do feel for those who lose a parent in childhood. But even though I objectively have my life shit fairly together I still feel like I’ll be totally lost without him when he pops his clogs. What I’d give for just another, say, five years…

Edited June 25, 2021 by Ad Lib

[Adamski]

This is an important thread - I'm glad it's here.

I lost my mum to cancer when I was 17. She had it for six years - pretty much all of my time at high school. The first five years had their ups and downs, but she lived a pretty full life through it - she was Finnish (which fairly stood out in small-town Scotland), whip-smart, artistic, had vegetarian/lentilish tendencies long long before it was cool, and I was really close to her. The last few months were brutal. It was hard to process seeing someone you love grow weak, frustrated, and desperately sad about what was happening.

The thought of her dying terrified me, and in some ways I did a lot of grieving before it actually happened to the point where things felt quite numb for a while in the aftermath. Also, given the age I was it all played out at a time when outside my home there were usual seventeen year old things like meeting girls, passing my driving test, starting to go to the pub etc. I saw all that as an escape and told very few people that she was ill. If I had my time again I think I'd be a lot more open, but I guess that's something teenage boys find harder than most people.

Since then more than 25 years have passed - my father remarried (to someone fantastic), and I've got a partner and two kids who all came along a long time after she died (my daughter gets her middle name from my mum and people who knew her often comment how alike they look). I often wonder what she would have made of the world today and how she would have got on with the family that she never met.

Edited June 24, 2021 by Adamski

[Jimi Shandrix]

15 hours ago, Adamski said:

This is an important thread - I'm glad it's here.

I lost my mum to cancer when I was 17. She had it for six years - pretty much all of my time at high school. The first five years had their ups and downs, but she lived a pretty full life through it - she was Finnish (which fairly stood out in small-town Scotland), whip-smart, artistic, had vegetarian/lentilish tendencies long long before it was cool, and I was really close to her. The last few months were brutal. It was hard to process seeing someone you love grow weak, frustrated, and desperately sad about what was happening.

The thought of her dying terrified me, and in some ways I did a lot of grieving before it actually happened to the point where things felt quite numb for a while in the aftermath. Also, given the age I was it all played out at a time when outside my home there were usual seventeen year old things like meeting girls, passing my driving test, starting to go to the pub etc. I saw all that as an escape and told very few people that she was ill. If I had my time again I think I'd be a lot more open, but I guess that's something teenage boys find harder than most people.

Since then more than 25 years have passed - my father remarried (to someone fantastic), and I've got a partner and two kids who all came along a long time after she died (my daughter gets her middle name from my mum and people who knew her often comment how alike they look). I often wonder what she would have made of the world today and how she would have got on with the family that she never met.

You're right mate, this is such an important thread and I can't read your story and @Ad Lib before it without crying my eyes out in my hospital bed just now but I'm so glad that it's here and giving folks the opportunity just to get this stuff out of their heads. Much love to you.

[milton75]

In many ways I wish I hadn't read the posts in here, but truthfully I'm glad I did. Best wishes to all brave enough to share these stories.

[parsforlife]

On 24/06/2021 at 19:30, Ad Lib said:

.At times it feels like you’re doing the grieving long before he actually passes though

22 hours ago, Adamski said:

The thought of her dying terrified me, and in some ways I did a lot of grieving before it actually happened.

I completely relate to this.   Wrestled a bit with the idea of ‘what’s worse’ over a sudden death. Both are shit obviously.

In a way starting the grief progress gradually is a good thing,  not that’s there’s ever a good process to go through.

Biggest of wishes to all posters go through the shitstorm themselves or with family.  You are a great bunch.

[Adamski]

9 hours ago, Jimi Shandrix said:

You're right mate, this is such an important thread and I can't read your story and @Ad Lib before it without crying my eyes out in my hospital bed just now but I'm so glad that it's here and giving folks the opportunity just to get this stuff out of their heads. Much love to you.

All the very best to you for the coming weeks and months.

Obviously I've got no idea on the details or whether this helps, but mentioning this as you mentioned cancer on your spine. My partner's uncle had/has stage 4 cancer with significant growths on his spine, and things looked pretty bleak. 4-5 years later and immunotherapy has truly worked wonders in his case: no trace of cancer, wound down all the drugs, and apart from periodic check ups essentially back to living as normal. Fingers crossed for you.

[Jacksgranda]

7 hours ago, Adamski said:

All the very best to you for the coming weeks and months.

Obviously I've got no idea on the details or whether this helps, but mentioning this as you mentioned cancer on your spine. My partner's uncle had/has stage 4 cancer with significant growths on his spine, and things looked pretty bleak. 4-5 years later and immunotherapy has truly worked wonders in his case: no trace of cancer, wound down all the drugs, and apart from periodic check ups essentially back to living as normal. Fingers crossed for you.

That's wonderful!

[Jimi Shandrix]

And we're back in the room. Missed yesterday out. Nothing too exciting happened at the Euro's did  it? Feel like i've been hit by a truck. Five big steel pins in my spine later, I'm just happy to be alive. We'll see what happens next. A genuinely terrifying night on Sunday. Thanks again for all your kind messages. Now, for the live of f**k, Come on Germany.

[scottsdad]

On 23/06/2021 at 13:24, Hedgecutter said:

I really hope the assisted dying legislation gets through the Scottish parliament third time lucky and that the happy-clappy 'I'm alright Jack' Christian types take a mammoth kick to the nether regions.

I couldn't agree more. My mum's mum died of cancer many decades ago, when mum was a kid. Mum is convinced, utterly convinced, that the GP "helped her along" and helped prevent a lot of needless suffering. The same GP was our family GP until he retired, even looking after me as a kid. Mum wouldn't let anyone else near the family. 

Maybe knowing this has coloured my view, but - as dad puts it - you wouldn't let a dog suffer what we let people suffer through at the end of their life. 

This is one area where I will write to my MSP expressing support. Rare for me, but I do feel strongly that this legislation will prevent pain, anxiety and suffering. Life alone is not enough, you need quality of life. 

[DrewDon]

I lost my dad to cancer a few years ago. I was 22 at the time. Some of the sentiments shared previously capture my own thoughts and feelings pretty perfectly. 

I visited his grave for his birthday last week, and the most prominent thought that I always emerge from the cemetery with is that he will never get to meet any future family I have. It breaks my heart, to be honest. It's primarily a mixture of sadness and anger, I think. 

All the best to everyone on here affected, in whatever way. 

[Granny Danger]

3 hours ago, Jimi Shandrix said:

And we're back in the room. Missed yesterday out. Nothing too exciting happened at the Euro's did  it? Feel like i've been hit by a truck. Five big steel pins in my spine later, I'm just happy to be alive. We'll see what happens next. A genuinely terrifying night on Sunday. Thanks again for all your kind messages. Now, for the live of f**k, Come on Germany.

A word of advice from a medical professional amateur football enthusiast.  If when Germany score don’t jump up to celebrate.

 

 

You’re welcome.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

I'll add my tuppence worth in here but it sounds like my experiences have been light compared to others in here. My old dear died in 2012 of a brain tumour.  Diagnosed in the August (a week before my old boy had a massive stroke, ooer) and was gone by Christmas.  Spent most of those last 4 months in hospital in Aberdeen and latterly in Keith.  Shite state of affairs but she had a good innings.  Probably worse for my dad who was also in hospital at the time recovering from his stroke whilst watching my mum go through this.  To compound this, unknown to my sisters and I, my dad had prostate cancer at that time as well.  He never said a word, and had gone through some treatment by himself (he popped his clogs a couple of years back).  They were both getting on a bit at the time but still very active. Was absolutely raging with my old man that he never said anything though. Its a horrendous disease in all its forms. 

[Jacksgranda]

20 hours ago, Jimi Shandrix said:

And we're back in the room. Missed yesterday out. Nothing too exciting happened at the Euro's did  it? Feel like i've been hit by a truck. Five big steel pins in my spine later, I'm just happy to be alive. We'll see what happens next. A genuinely terrifying night on Sunday. Thanks again for all your kind messages. Now, for the live of f**k, Come on Germany.

You chose the wrong day for your operation...

Glad to hear all went well, keep us posted, and all the best. Puts my condition into perspective, tbh.

[Jimi Shandrix]

On 30/06/2021 at 08:39, Jacksgranda said:

You chose the wrong day for your operation...

Glad to hear all went well, keep us posted, and all the best. Puts my condition into perspective, tbh.

Playing a waiting game now. My half an hour trip to Ninewells is just away to enter a sixteenth day. It might be another couple of weeks before I get any news though so they've decided to let me go home for a bit. If nothing is happening, it can happen there. Really looking forward to tomorrow as you can imagine. It's weird how time speeds up and slows down in hospital. A bit of normality will do me the world of good. Thanks for all your well wishes.