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PauloPerth

Who will be the Banter Kings of Scottish Football 2021-22

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In the Championship Morton (it's been banter for years but we have our fans running the place so that'll be a laugh) are the prime candidates, or at least, would be if it were not for Ayr United who have looked at the horrific failures at Cappielow over the last five years and decided it was a model worth following so have hired our failed manager and allowed him to bring our previous manager, failed coaching staff and worst players in with him. 

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Has to be Sellick, starting early by applying for special permission to sign a manager that has the qualifications of a juniors coach.

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I was comparing Celtic and Falkirk the other day, trying to decide who was the worse failure.  Of course it is Celtic because of what this season was meant to mean and they didn’t even give it a go, but that was a marathon of a failure, for a sprint, Falkirk gets it every time.

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I'd like to think Dundee have done a Brechin by hitting form at the wrong time and accidentally getting themselves promoted only to finish with no wins the next season.

However I think Celtic are already looking strong. A pumping off some Faroese fishermen to kick it off no doubt 

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Strongest contenders are certainly looking like;

Celtic : appointing some cheap no mark who doesn't have the required certification all the while requiring a massive rebuild. What could possibly go wrong? 

Dundee : Another club who need a massive turnover of players, only our need is one to survive. James McPake is manager. What could possibly go wrong? 

Dundee United : haemorrhaging money and about to appoint a youth coach to play the youths so they can be sold off to stem that flow of cash leaving the clubs coffers. What could possibly go wrong? 

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The first game at a sold out Tynecastle will almost definitely seal their place as this seasons banter kings.

The sheer anger towards their promotion winning manager, the chairwoman and owner and just about anyone in sight will be worth it.

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I've a constant fear our success is preceeding a collapse, but I'm not entirely sure it would be "banter era" stuff.

Celtic look hilariously placed for that. Can fully envisage them going baws out attacking if they get this Australian, while early on playing a defence of Bain, Taylor, Hendry, Welsh, Ralston, which would be incredible to witness tbh.

Dundee signing Griffiths, and having to somehow contend with keeping him and Cummings in check, would be a great laugh too.

Hearts are always a good laugh though. Hoping they scud a dross outfit like County early on, give it the "We're back where we belong! Time for revenge!" shtick in one of Budges 100 official statements of 21/22, before they grind their way to an 11th place finish, sacking Neilson and hiring Levein on the way.

Edited by RandomGuy.

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I have this worrying fear that Aberdeen are standing on the edge of the precipice of banterism. 

All it will take to push us over is finding out that Cormack's grand plan is actually taking the full Atlanta under 16 side on loan, and blowing 500k on a 37 year old Guatemalan from DC United who can't speak English.

Y'all. 

 

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County have started strong, but as much as he's a detestable human being Mackay is a better coach than Ketts ever was. Fully expect County to do a season of shitebag football that ends up with a 9th place finish.

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In the Seaside Leagues

Stranraer have made an early bid with the board falling out with each other.

Queens Park with a full time squad backed by Haughey's largesse have a half built stadium (no change from Hampden then, arf arf) and are having to play at Firhill.

Btw- I like PauloPerth's description of Motherwell as the aged relative you don't really notice until they're dead. Hope that finds its way onto Off the Ball on Saturday...

 

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Celtic obviously looking strong here. Doing nothing after a most banterous year.  The most potential for things to go spectacularly wrong.

Ross County and Malky McKay goosestepping their way in front of the pack. Statements already, canning players over zoom. Strong contenders.

Dundee Utd working straight from the Ian Cathro banter book. Smart money. Another Doon Derby on the cards?

Would love Edinburgh to be the banter capital this season. Planes over Tynecastle, implosions at Easter Road. Make it happen lads.

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17 minutes ago, Jim McLean's Ghost said:

Ross County and Malky McKay goosestepping their way in front of the pack.

Excited Season 6 GIF by The Office

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Will someone provide a proper definition of banter?  I'm guessing it's something like a club bottling an entire season with poor decisions and results?

 

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2 hours ago, mizfit said:

The first game at a sold out Tynecastle will almost definitely seal their place as this seasons banter kings.

The sheer anger towards their promotion winning manager, the chairwoman and owner and just about anyone in sight will be worth it.

Hearts first game back against Dundee with Dundee winning would be brilliant. 

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12 hours ago, PauloPerth said:

Hearts - An incredibly consistent performer in this contest over a couple of decades, yet all seems surprisingly quiet down Gorgie way. They may well have completely changed strategy and going for a run things smoothly approach to provide a foundation for success, but you can never write off this behemoth of Banter, as the next maroon implosion is never too far away.

I wouldn't say Hearts have gone completely quiet. Last season we chucked a Scottish Cup final from leading a penalty shoot-out and also got knocked out the Scottish Cup by a team from a town with a population smaller than the year of our formation.

The fans dislike the coach, dislike the chairwoman, and absolutely despise the players. We got promoted despite being pish because we were in a league that was really pish, and the performances have left the fans with a lot of suppressed rage and at the first opportunity there's going to be a proper hissy-fit from the support.

Add into that that we've got arguably the worst recruitment 'strategy' in the country and no signs of a plan to make us any less shite, and I think it may well all go off for Hearts. I think Hearts' football operation people will be praying for a fan-less start to the season to keep the heat off.

It's not a particularly strong league just now, so a successful season can't be discounted, but neither can a complete disaster. 3rd - 12th all in play, imo.

Only thing that is certain is that we'll beat Hibs at some point. Probably robbing them blind.

Edited by TheJTS98

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