Popular Post PauloPerth Posted June 3, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted June 3, 2021 Although the 20-21 season has just finished, there's much to be intrigued about in the forthcoming season. There are a number of clubs emerging as strong contenders for the title of Banter Kings of Scottish football. A competition dominated by rangers in its first few years, Celtic finally managed to wrestle the trophy from their big rivals in a dominant display during 2020-21. The following is a summary of the contenders in this season's Banter King Title Race, feel free to skip down to the Too long couldn't be arsed ending. The runners:- Aberdeen - set their stall out early with the appointment of the chairman's best pal as manager and talk of strategies and visions, compounded by the announcement of Scott Brown as assistant. A few decent signings on and some far bigger plays by rival clubs means the Dons have slipped down the reckoning a bit. This could go either way, and be a sink like a stone or an incredible season. Alternatively, they might finish top half but win f**k all just like usual. Will it be high 5's and yeehas all round for the Dandies? Celtic - Didn't just take the Banter title from their arch rivals last season, they ripped it from their grasp and carved their own name onto it half way through the season. Some 'interesting' managerial appointments at other clubs had left Celtic unsure how to better them, until they top trumped everyone with the 'appoint no one for 100 days' strategy. Just as the novelty of that is diminishing, they look set to appoint a complete unknown who might not be qualified to coach in Europe. It's been a strong early showing by the current Banter Champs, but can they keep it going for another full season..? Dundee - a club steeped in the tradition of point and laugh moments. Look fairly settled just now, and have possibly passed the city of discovery Banter baton along the road.. Dundee United - On paper, appointing a relatively unknown youth coach and playing your under 14's before selling them on for millions seems like a sound business plan, but who's to say? Will he end up the Daddy Mac, or be another Jackie Mac? Could be one to watch in this race.. Hearts - An incredibly consistent performer in this contest over a couple of decades, yet all seems surprisingly quiet down Gorgie way. They may well have completely changed strategy and going for a run things smoothly approach to provide a foundation for success, but you can never write off this behemoth of Banter, as the next maroon implosion is never too far away. Hibs - Seem a long way down the running for this. Fairly steady with a decent manager. The sale and failure to replace a couple of key players might disrupt things, but the only thing likely to involve Hibs in this battle is going into full meltdown and panicking if Hearts are having an outstanding season. Livingston - Will the sugar man be able to reproduce his team's early form, or was the stuttering last couple of months a precursor of what's to come? Livi struggling wouldn't be a huge shock, but the manager completely losing the plot, and no happy ending to the fairy tale with horse's heads being uncovered in beds all over West Lothian could bring the Lions into contention. Motherwell - The steady reliable veterans of the Premiership are like your Gran at family gatherings; friendly, inoffensive, and almost part of the furniture as you know they'll always be there. Until one day you get a phone call and they're dead. If we learned one thing watching Kilmarnock this season, it's that they were shite. Even when Motherwell were having a honking season and swimming in sewage a few years ago, they ended up smelling of roses as they skelped Rangers in the play offs. Again, a poor season and relegation wouldn't be that strong a bid, Well are going to have to come up with a lot more than that to be in with a shout. Rangers - The founders of the competition, and dominant force in its early years appear to be on the rise, and to have left the Banter race firmly in the rear view mirror. But Gerrard being poached, boardroom splits, the taxman finding a dusty old folder that needs looking into.. As a wise man once said; never, ever underestimate a club whose fans celebrate by bottling each other and setting off fireworks in their own hands. Ross County - Galloping up to the front runners from the outside lane with some magnificent early season form. Hiring the same marketing team as Fred and Rosemary West might be the kind of modern thinking which isn't to everyone's taste, but it's been a master stroke in this particular competition. Can County sustain this early season form, or will they fade into the pack? St Johnstone - The Perth Saints look set to dominate Domestic and European football for years to come; but it just takes the manager and one or two young stars to move on and suddenly the garden looks a lot less rosey. On paper, as steady a Premiership ship that you could hope to sail on, Saints look like rank outsiders for this particular trophy. But it just takes the tea lady to punch Gerard's lights out, or a couple of players getting caught injecting heroin down that lane between Tesco and Canal Street, and suddenly the envy of diddy clubs all over the world become a shambles and force themselves into contention. Could this be yet another trophy that ends up in Perth? St Mirren - last and probably least. A lot riding on things this season; can the buddies hold onto their 7th place crown, or will they be forced back down into 8th? It's a tough call, but should make for fascinating viewing. Lower leagues - Could killie or Accies do the Double Slide for a trip to the seaside? Special mentions to Morton, and especially Falkirk who have always been frontrunners in this particular event. Or could there be a surprise newcomer.. would big spending Kelty being relegated straight back to the lowland league be enough to take the title? All to play for. TL;CBA So who's it going to be? Give your predictions for the season ahead... 43 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 In the Championship Morton (it's been banter for years but we have our fans running the place so that'll be a laugh) are the prime candidates, or at least, would be if it were not for Ayr United who have looked at the horrific failures at Cappielow over the last five years and decided it was a model worth following so have hired our failed manager and allowed him to bring our previous manager, failed coaching staff and worst players in with him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Ferguson's Hat Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Failcock. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Lolkirk. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empty It Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Has to be Sellick, starting early by applying for special permission to sign a manager that has the qualifications of a juniors coach. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ropy Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 I was comparing Celtic and Falkirk the other day, trying to decide who was the worse failure. Of course it is Celtic because of what this season was meant to mean and they didn’t even give it a go, but that was a marathon of a failure, for a sprint, Falkirk gets it every time. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 I'd like to think Dundee have done a Brechin by hitting form at the wrong time and accidentally getting themselves promoted only to finish with no wins the next season. However I think Celtic are already looking strong. A pumping off some Faroese fishermen to kick it off no doubt 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Strongest contenders are certainly looking like; Celtic : appointing some cheap no mark who doesn't have the required certification all the while requiring a massive rebuild. What could possibly go wrong? Dundee : Another club who need a massive turnover of players, only our need is one to survive. James McPake is manager. What could possibly go wrong? Dundee United : haemorrhaging money and about to appoint a youth coach to play the youths so they can be sold off to stem that flow of cash leaving the clubs coffers. What could possibly go wrong? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mizfit Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 The first game at a sold out Tynecastle will almost definitely seal their place as this seasons banter kings. The sheer anger towards their promotion winning manager, the chairwoman and owner and just about anyone in sight will be worth it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 (edited) I've a constant fear our success is preceeding a collapse, but I'm not entirely sure it would be "banter era" stuff. Celtic look hilariously placed for that. Can fully envisage them going baws out attacking if they get this Australian, while early on playing a defence of Bain, Taylor, Hendry, Welsh, Ralston, which would be incredible to witness tbh. Dundee signing Griffiths, and having to somehow contend with keeping him and Cummings in check, would be a great laugh too. Hearts are always a good laugh though. Hoping they scud a dross outfit like County early on, give it the "We're back where we belong! Time for revenge!" shtick in one of Budges 100 official statements of 21/22, before they grind their way to an 11th place finish, sacking Neilson and hiring Levein on the way. Edited June 3, 2021 by RandomGuy. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bob Mahelp Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 I have this worrying fear that Aberdeen are standing on the edge of the precipice of banterism. All it will take to push us over is finding out that Cormack's grand plan is actually taking the full Atlanta under 16 side on loan, and blowing 500k on a 37 year old Guatemalan from DC United who can't speak English. Y'all. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Comrie Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 County have started strong, but as much as he's a detestable human being Mackay is a better coach than Ketts ever was. Fully expect County to do a season of shitebag football that ends up with a 9th place finish. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 In the Seaside Leagues Stranraer have made an early bid with the board falling out with each other. Queens Park with a full time squad backed by Haughey's largesse have a half built stadium (no change from Hampden then, arf arf) and are having to play at Firhill. Btw- I like PauloPerth's description of Motherwell as the aged relative you don't really notice until they're dead. Hope that finds its way onto Off the Ball on Saturday... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RossBFaeDundee Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Aberdeen/Celtic/United/Us, in that order of probability. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim McLean's Ghost Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Celtic obviously looking strong here. Doing nothing after a most banterous year. The most potential for things to go spectacularly wrong. Ross County and Malky McKay goosestepping their way in front of the pack. Statements already, canning players over zoom. Strong contenders. Dundee Utd working straight from the Ian Cathro banter book. Smart money. Another Doon Derby on the cards? Would love Edinburgh to be the banter capital this season. Planes over Tynecastle, implosions at Easter Road. Make it happen lads. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PauloPerth Posted June 3, 2021 Author Share Posted June 3, 2021 17 minutes ago, Jim McLean's Ghost said: Ross County and Malky McKay goosestepping their way in front of the pack. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddie06smfc Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 St Johnstone. Relegation awaits. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmericanFan Posted June 3, 2021 Share Posted June 3, 2021 Will someone provide a proper definition of banter? I'm guessing it's something like a club bottling an entire season with poor decisions and results? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lyle Lanley Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 2 hours ago, mizfit said: The first game at a sold out Tynecastle will almost definitely seal their place as this seasons banter kings. The sheer anger towards their promotion winning manager, the chairwoman and owner and just about anyone in sight will be worth it. Hearts first game back against Dundee with Dundee winning would be brilliant. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheJTS98 Posted June 4, 2021 Share Posted June 4, 2021 (edited) 12 hours ago, PauloPerth said: Hearts - An incredibly consistent performer in this contest over a couple of decades, yet all seems surprisingly quiet down Gorgie way. They may well have completely changed strategy and going for a run things smoothly approach to provide a foundation for success, but you can never write off this behemoth of Banter, as the next maroon implosion is never too far away. I wouldn't say Hearts have gone completely quiet. Last season we chucked a Scottish Cup final from leading a penalty shoot-out and also got knocked out the Scottish Cup by a team from a town with a population smaller than the year of our formation. The fans dislike the coach, dislike the chairwoman, and absolutely despise the players. We got promoted despite being pish because we were in a league that was really pish, and the performances have left the fans with a lot of suppressed rage and at the first opportunity there's going to be a proper hissy-fit from the support. Add into that that we've got arguably the worst recruitment 'strategy' in the country and no signs of a plan to make us any less shite, and I think it may well all go off for Hearts. I think Hearts' football operation people will be praying for a fan-less start to the season to keep the heat off. It's not a particularly strong league just now, so a successful season can't be discounted, but neither can a complete disaster. 3rd - 12th all in play, imo. Only thing that is certain is that we'll beat Hibs at some point. Probably robbing them blind. Edited June 4, 2021 by TheJTS98 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.