The Marly Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 After the female American police officer claimed she killed a guy because she thought she had pulled her taser rather than her gun, I was thinking of other fantastic excuses I ad heard over the years. A member of staff once told me she was late because she missed her stop for getting off the bus because the bus windows were so dirty she couldn't see out. I'm sure plenty of folk on here have both given and heard many a fantastic excuse so let's hear them.PS Any PBers been shot when they thought they were merely being tasered? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hk blues Posted April 16, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 16, 2021 I worked in HR and was asked to visit a factory in Leeds where one of the guys was suspected of stealing company property (a drum of printing ink in fact). The manager asked if we could check his car boot as we knew it was in there. He refused, saying he was embarrassed as he had women's clothing in there as he and his wife liked to dress up. 22 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 I was once sent to wait for the AR at high school for my behaviour and whilst I was there a guy in 5th year turned up late. You had to sign in with a valid excuse or you got a visit from a 'social' teacher. Reception woman : why are you late today? Dev : I had a bit of an accident this morning Reception : which was? Dev : I was run over by a van. I just burst out laughing behind them. To make it better, he was carrying a guitar in a bag. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Jean King Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 After the female American police officer claimed she killed a guy because she thought she had pulled her taser rather than her gun, I was thinking of other fantastic excuses I ad heard over the years. A member of staff once told me she was late because she missed her stop for getting off the bus because the bus windows were so dirty she couldn't see out. I'm sure plenty of folk on here have both given and heard many a fantastic excuse so let's hear them.PS Any PBers been shot when they thought they were merely being tasered?I have sympathy with the bus excuse. We were invited to hospitality at Darkheid one Saturday just before Christmas years ago. On way home got on what I thought was the Ayr train at Central (days before the announcements and scrolling boards on the trains). It was dark and windows were all steamed up. All seemed fine until after Kilwinnig I realised we were at Stevenston and not Irvine. The front train had been for Ardrossan or Largs with the back 3 carriages being the Ayr train ! Was going to be best part of an hour for a train back to Kilwinnig so jumped in a cab. Stevenston station is in a rather unsalubrious part of that particular town, more so for a twat in a suit on a Saturday evening. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 When in 3rd year, a boy I knews mother had found his bucket kit. He told her it was for catching frogs up the woods! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRocketman II Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 12 minutes ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: When in 3rd year, a boy I knews mother had found his bucket kit. He told her it was for catching frogs up the woods! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 16 minutes ago, KingRocketman II said: Buckets are braw 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Todd_is_God Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Don't blame me, I'm only an adviser 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingRocketman II Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 8 minutes ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: Buckets are braw Ha. I only added it as there appeared to be an assumption that everyone knows what a "bucket kit" is. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 I don't. What is a bucket kit? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latapythelegend Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 What the hell is a bucket kit? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 5 minutes ago, latapythelegend said: What the hell is a bucket kit? Can't imagine catching many frogs with that though. The colour will frighten them off. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 99.9999% of excuses used by people who buy exempt lanyards for masks. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 Pal of mine used to work for the Student Loans company in Glasgow. We were in the Trades sinking the ambrosia (draught Export) on a Sunday pm when he decided he would have to phone in sick the next day. Rather than wait until the morning, he phoned and left a message from the pub saying he was in a very busy A&E dept after being in a car crash and would be off for a couple of days. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 26 minutes ago, hk blues said: Can't imagine catching many frogs with that though. The colour will frighten them off. Unless I am being wooshed here, why would anyone lie about that? Totally harmless stuff. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post EH75 Posted April 16, 2021 Popular Post Share Posted April 16, 2021 I work in the shipping industry and we can be randomly drug tested while at work. I never have been in 10 years, but they do pick people at random every month. One of my colleagues likes the occasional joint whilst on leave and therefore was apprehensive about the possibility of failing a drugs test on his return to work. He decided to combat this by purchasing a fake penis and urine off the internet to use for any drugs test he might encounter. A few weeks into his contract we received a customs inspection where they searched everyone's cabins for drugs etc. During this he was called to his cabin to be confronted by both his boss and a woman from Border Force holding said fake penis and bottle of urine. He explained that his girlfriend was going to be coming on for a visit soon and she was into "golden showers" but that he found the practice embarrassing and therefore got "stage fright" and so he bought them for use in their weird sex games. Amazingly, they bought it and obviously given the nature of the story, it was never brought up again. The boss couldn't really look him in the eye after that though. 53 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 9 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Unless I am being wooshed here, why would anyone lie about that? Totally harmless stuff. You are being whooshed. A "bucket" is a for inhaling copious lung fulls of hash smoke. A "lung" is similar. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillonearth Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 (edited) 37 minutes ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: 99.9999% of excuses used by people who buy exempt lanyards for masks. I saw a vaguely woman-shaped creature a few weeks back that got knocked back from a local supermarket trying to use the time-honoured "S'm'assma" defence which would have probably been accepted had she not very visibly demolished a full fag in about three draws while walking from her car. Edited April 16, 2021 by Hillonearth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Pete Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 I don't sweat because I overdosed on adrenaline during the Falklands war. there you are, @GordonD, a confession. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted April 16, 2021 Share Posted April 16, 2021 3 minutes ago, Sweet Pete said: I don't sweat because I overdosed on adrenaline during the Falklands war. there you are, @GordonD, a confession. Replying to a post I made in the Quick Question thread, in case anybody wonders what you're talking about! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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