Gordon EF Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 4 minutes ago, SweeperDee said: I'd take a stab at figuring why women feel so afraid; it's because a disproportionate amount of violence is taken out on them, 9 times out of 10 by men, and there's no real visible solution to fixing that. Why are men seemingly more prone to carrying out acts of extreme violence against women? I'm reluctant to say because "society", as that doesn't really explain anything at all. It's been like this since the cavemen. That's the nub of the issue, and a lot of people don't really like delving into that particular can of worms. Men are more likely to be the victims of violence than women but obviously men are far more likely to carry out serious violence than women are. This isn't an attempt at "but men get attacked too you know" whataboutery, just an attemtp to put this stuff into context. There are some forms of violence that do disproportionately happen to women - sexual violence, domestic abuse, partner or ex-partner violence. And I don't think it's too hard to work out why that is. Generally, most violence isn't some noble form of fisticuffs, it's people attacking other people when they think or know they have the advantage. Whether that's through physical size or strength, having a weapon, outnumbering someone or just the situation like sucker-punching someone or attacking them when they're drunk. There's no doubt that far too many people in society have a problem with violence and most of those people are men. But it's surely not too hard to figure out why more men attack women than women attack men? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gordon EF Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 4 minutes ago, throbber said: I’m not sure about the best case scenario being told to f**k off tbh, if you had a right go at the guy in front of his mates the guy could easily be embarrassed and shut the f**k up whilst his mates didn’t know where to look. Have seen that happen under similar circumstances before. Fair point. Just didn't see that as being particularly likely. I've never seen anything like that happen. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 Just now, Gordon EF said: Fair point. Just didn't see that as being particularly likely. I've never seen anything like that happen. I had a friend a few years ago who was a total lad type, nice guy but a bit sleazy when drunk and he was in his local getting more and more pissed up and making inappropriate comment after comment to the bar maid. Eventually he said one too many and she completely snapped, screaming furiously at him to get the f**k out of the pub and that she wasn’t a piece of shit etc, he was completely humiliated in front of all his friends and all the horrified onlookers but in fairness to him went round to her house with chocolate the next day to apologise. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweeperDee Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 2 minutes ago, Gordon EF said: Men are more likely to be the victims of violence than women but obviously men are far more likely to carry out serious violence than women are. This isn't an attempt at "but men get attacked too you know" whataboutery, just an attemtp to put this stuff into context. There are some forms of violence that do disproportionately happen to women - sexual violence, domestic abuse, partner or ex-partner violence. And I don't think it's too hard to work out why that is. Generally, most violence isn't some noble form of fisticuffs, it's people attacking other people when they think or know they have the advantage. Whether that's through physical size or strength, having a weapon, outnumbering someone or just the situation like sucker-punching someone or attacking them when they're drunk. There's no doubt that far too many people in society have a problem with violence and most of those people are men. But it's surely not too hard to figure out why more men attack women than women attack men? Sorry, I should have said in my post that men commit more acts of violence overall; that is undeniably true, whether it's against other men or women. I was getting at the root cause why men are more prone to violence overall, compared to women. Are we just more aggressive, unagreeable? I think so, but that surely can't be the sole cause? Is it hormonal differences? Is it societal hierarchies that allow (or indeed encourage?) a lot of men to act the way they do to a vast amount of women? Like I said, this was probably an issue in Caveman times as well; what societal issues do we point towards in that case? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 4 minutes ago, throbber said: I’m not sure about the best case scenario being told to f**k off tbh, if you had a right go at the guy in front of his mates the guy could easily be embarrassed and shut the f**k up whilst his mates didn’t know where to look. Have seen that happen under similar circumstances before. Unless HM has a somewhat intimidating presence, you'd have to be pretty naive to see this playing out well for him. As has been said above, the lassie was made to feel uncomfortable and thats clearly, with no mitigation, bang out of line. However for me, your response/intervention as a bystander has to be measured by the escalation of the incident. If i'm on my jack in HMs scenario, im likely saying f**k all. If she gets grabbed and held, and cant remove herself, then thats different. Someone is in danger, so you have to try and make her safe either by saying something or stepping in and hoping others help if it kicks off. You previous comment about "a punch in the mouth" is also either naive or a wind up. If you go into a physical altercation as a grown man, you really have to be prepared for quite a lot of pretty bad consequences either received or dished out. If you haven't considered these, you are either stupid or dangerous. I had a similar chat on another thread when I spoke about a junky being out of line in a phone shop when I was the only customer with 2 female sales assistants. It was really uncomfortable. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 You don’t need to go in aggressively to confront a situation - even by saying “come on mate that’s a bit much” could easily make the guy reign it in a bit. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bairnardo Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 Just now, throbber said: You don’t need to go in aggressively to confront a situation - even by saying “come on mate that’s a bit much” could easily make the guy reign it in a bit. And starting there had the lassie been unable to carry on her way would be about right maybe. Theres precious little to gain, if anything at all, by getting involved when she is already away from the situation. This very much a "World we would like to have/World we actually have" scenario. FWIW, I personally recall of many more examples of this type of situation kicking off than ones where the guys pals suddenly agreed with the mouthy stranger and turned on him resulting in his own humiliation. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawB93 Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 6 hours ago, throbber said: At the risk of making myself sound like an absolute shitebag I wouldn’t confront it as it was inconvenient for me to do so and the fact I was there for a good time. No, not confronting it because you didn't want punched would make you a shitebag. Not doing it because you can't be arsed makes you a selfish scumbag, not a shitebag. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 7 minutes ago, RawB93 said: No, not confronting it because you didn't want punched would make you a shitebag. Not doing it because you can't be arsed makes you a selfish scumbag, not a shitebag. But my point is that we’ve all been in positions where we could have helped out but chose not to as we were just going about our every day business and didn’t want the hassle. Everyone’s guilty of it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
williemillersmoustache Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 Other than the chopper himself the people most at fault here are his pals and without an on-going risk to the lassie or anyone else confrontation would potentially be dangerous and counterproductive. The right thing to do imo would be to take images and call 111, if you thought the situation merited it. Which it sounded like it probably did. But without a complainer or footage of the incident not sure where police involvement would go. Perhaps they'd give the fucking nonce pause for thought at least. This is why the "not all men" shite is sush shite. Pretty sure most of us have witnessed behaviour by other men they know towards women that just isn't acceptable, and not acted. I know I have, not for a long time now but there are definitely moments when looking back I wish I'd had the balls/presence of mind to say something. That doesn't mean you need to go wading in on a train after an incident has passed. It means talking to your friends, having a word and if necessary making it clear that your friendship is incompatible with this behaviour. Or in this case a surreptitious phone pic and then shop them to the fuzz. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Jean King Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 I doubt it was over one of them confronting the other about inappropriate behaviour towards a minor.No but your point seemed to be folk wouldn't kick off on a busy train. They will and they do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 55 minutes ago, throbber said: I had a friend a few years ago who was a total lad type, nice guy but a bit sleazy when drunk and he was in his local getting more and more pissed up and making inappropriate comment after comment to the bar maid. Eventually he said one too many and she completely snapped, screaming furiously at him to get the f**k out of the pub and that she wasn’t a piece of shit etc, he was completely humiliated in front of all his friends and all the horrified onlookers but in fairness to him went round to her house with chocolate the next day to apologise. It was you trying to draw a cock and balls on her arm, wasn't it? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billy Jean King Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 Be interesting the reaction to the next "wid" comment on PnB given what's been posted in here ??? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 8 minutes ago, Billy Jean King said: Be interesting the reaction to the next "wid" comment on PnB given what's been posted in here ??? The Pass or Smash thread might lose a bit of traffic. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bert Raccoon Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 11 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: Wid 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 17 minutes ago, Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadoo said: What a plank! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 50 minutes ago, Billy Jean King said: 3 hours ago, throbber said: I doubt it was over one of them confronting the other about inappropriate behaviour towards a minor. No but your point seemed to be folk wouldn't kick off on a busy train. They will and they do. It’s pub fighting though isn’t it? You know someone will step in and break it up. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, throbber said: It’s pub fighting though isn’t it? You know someone will step in and break it up. Hawd me back! No, I mean it, hawd me back, he's fucking huge! Edited October 10, 2021 by welshbairn 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted October 10, 2021 Share Posted October 10, 2021 5 minutes ago, welshbairn said: Hawd me back! No, I mean now, hawd me back, he's fucking huge! It’s a good thing I’m being dragged away from this otherwise you’d be in real trouble!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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