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Pars vs Dees; which manager will make the biggest arse of it?


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28 minutes ago, Shandön Par said:

All the old codgers getting their vaccine at East End were not put off by a bit of snow. Get some crampons or wellies on, an orange ball and get on with it.

I think some of our boys have been playing in wellies already.

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If the game is off, instead of both clubs sitting on their arses, there should be a titanic sporting clash to decide who gets the three points.
 

What I’m imagining would break PPV records. It’s a cross between It’s A Knockout, The Masked Singer and Apocalypse Now.

The location, a snow-covered Saline Hill. A race to the top, taps aff, between the two starting 11s. 

The managers, two real men, JJ and Jocky. Each to be given a loudhailer to aid their encouragement and words of wisdom. Each manager is also given a yeti. The yeti may attempt to stop opposition players by any means necessary. Smoking’ Joe Cardle and CC would be ideal as the yetis. The winner is the team who gets most men to the summit. Man of the match gets to sit at the front of the bus on the way home with JJ or Jocky.

The whole thing to be filmed from helicopters.

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Edited by Shandön Par
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1 minute ago, Ludo*1 said:

Jocky Scott & Claudio Caniggia vs Jim Jefferies and Joe Cardle?!

FFS Pars fans. That's the mismatch of the century.

 

Just now, Stellaboz said:

Id rather see Crawford getting a few rounds in the octagon with Speroni.

Nope, wait. There it is.

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2 minutes ago, Shandön Par said:

If the game is off, instead of both clubs sitting on their arses, there should be a titanic sporting clash to decide who gets the three points.
 

What I’m imagining would break PPV records. It’s a cross between It’s A Knockout, The Masked Singer and Apocalypse Now.

The location, a snow-covered Saline Hill. A race to the top, taps aff, between the two starting 11s. 

The managers, two real men, JJ and Jocky. Each to be given a loudhailer to aid their encouragement and words of wisdom. Each manager is also given a yeti. The yeti may attempt to stop opposition players by any means necessary. Smoking’ Joe Cardle and CC would be ideal as the yetis. The winner is the team who gets most men to the summit. Man of the match gets to sit at the front of the bus on the way home with JJ or Jocky.

The whole thing to be filmed from helicopters.

99A1CEC5-980D-4ACC-8D7A-FC555F514C81.jpeg

3FB0BA43-F8C7-4994-B1DF-DB2BB45049BC.jpeg

40B4D98A-CF47-40A3-9637-E2B0138FA164.jpeg

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401A5183-A650-46B6-A033-CF82E01187D1.webp 47.4 kB · 0 downloads

Two questions; what are we classing the 'top' of Saline Hill as? There's a wee cairn on the visible summit but there's actually a wee hill just behind it that is what I'd consider the true summit.

Second, what of the infamous Saline Hill Puma? A creature so deadly and evil that knows no limits when it comes to bloodshed and brutality, is it just to be considered an occupational hazard here?

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Just now, Ludo*1 said:

Jocky Scott & Claudio Caniggia vs Jim Jefferies and Joe Cardle?!

FFS Pars fans. That's the mismatch of the century.

Joe’s brother is a pro boxer and Joe showed many fighting skills to punch our way out of League One. He even punched his Airdrie teammates to celebrate signing signing his PCA with us. JJ spends his days keeping his shouting skills honed by yelling at cones in his garden until bedtime.

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2 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Two questions; what are we classing the 'top' of Saline Hill as? There's a wee cairn on the visible summit but there's actually a wee hill just behind it that is what I'd consider the true summit.

Second, what of the infamous Saline Hill Puma? A creature so deadly and evil that knows no limits when it comes to bloodshed and brutality, is it just to be considered an occupational hazard here?

Shh, don’t mention the puma. He’s on our side and will shred their yeti. Not much difference in height between the two summits so give the two managers a summit each and they can yell at each other when not encouraging the players.

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29 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Will Dundee fans be sensible and acknowledge that these things happen or will they go absolutely mental like some Raith fans and start furiously thrashing nonsense on their keyboards?

Considering we've had our last 4 home games called off...

Fucking shambles, hopefully the SPFL see right and give us all 3 points. Points deduction too for the Pars please.

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4 minutes ago, RossBFaeDundee said:

Considering we've had our last 4 home games called off...

Fucking shambles, hopefully the SPFL see right and give us all 3 points. Points deduction too for the Pars please.

It's unlikely that Dundee and Inverness will play a game ever again before the end of the season. It is therefore only fair that they are forced to occupy the bottom two slots.

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19 minutes ago, RossBFaeDundee said:

Considering we've had our last 4 home games called off...

Fucking shambles, hopefully the SPFL see right and give us all 3 points. Points deduction too for the Pars please.

I think they should also be punted out of the league pyramid and into the regionals for this. Absolute joke.

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34 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

It's unlikely that Dundee and Inverness will play a game ever again before the end of the season. It is therefore only fair that they are forced to occupy the bottom two slots.

I am fine with this tbf.

Inverness go doon and we get to keep Falkirk doon via the play off.

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