Eric Paterson Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 Hi all, I think there is a distinct lack of Scottish horror movies so I have decided to make one. The movie is set in the Ayrshire village of Catrine and involves a giant rabid cat that comes out at night and kills people, pisses in gardens and flips cars over. I require some actors. Are there any actors on here? I can't promise any payment, but it's an opportunity to put yourself in the shop window. Eric P xxx 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 Just put a postcard advert in the Catrine post office window, no? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Lambies Doos Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 Few Scottish horrors in my day tbf 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimi Shandrix Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 Would you like me to be the cat? 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 minute ago, Eric Paterson said: Hi all, I think there is a distinct lack of Scottish horror movies so I have decided to make one. The movie is set in the Ayrshire village of Catrine and involves a giant rabid cat that comes out at night and kills people, pisses in gardens and flips cars over. I require some actors. Are there any actors on here? I can't promise any payment, but it's an opportunity to put yourself in the shop window. Eric P xxx If the first victim is Janey Godley I'm in for 10%. That could make it the new "Springtime for Hitler" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 1 minute ago, Jimi Shandrix said: Would you like me to be the cat? George Galloway found 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eric Paterson Posted October 26, 2020 Author Share Posted October 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, alta-pete said: Just put a postcard advert in the Catrine post office window, no? Na I wanted actors, not extras. 1 minute ago, tamthebam said: If the first victim is Janey Godley I'm in for 10%. That could make it the new "Springtime for Hitler" Deal. 1 minute ago, tamthebam said: George Galloway found I asked him but he's too busy trying to create unity by being a divisive c**t. His loss. 2 minutes ago, Jimi Shandrix said: Would you like me to be the cat? Yes. Can you meow? I would have used a real cat, but I'm actually allergic. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimi Shandrix Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, Eric Paterson said: Na I wanted actors, not extras. Deal. I asked him but he's too busy trying to create unity by being a divisive c**t. His loss. Yes. Can you meow? I would have used a real cat, but I'm actually allergic. I can meow. I can also lick my own balls. Feeling good about all this. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 I suppose the name of the village inspired the idea of a giant cat. If you lived in Dickmontlaw though Throbber could have done the storyboards for you 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alta-pete Posted October 26, 2020 Share Posted October 26, 2020 3 minutes ago, Jimi Shandrix said: I can meow. I can also lick my own balls. Feeling good about all this. DM me babes. X 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigmouth Strikes Again Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Thank you. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derry Alli Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Tears seagulls apart with its falsers and snorts stolen primary school children's packed lunches. x 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arabdownunder Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I can meow. I can also lick my own balls. Feeling good about all this.Wasted in a Scottish horror movie. Need to aim higher. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
invergowrie arab Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 What's your thoughts on a black lad playing Winston Churchill? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) I would go for a Terminator style plot. Spoiler Edited October 27, 2020 by Melanius Mullarkey 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimi Shandrix Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I would go for a Terminator style plot. Hide contents 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) Scottish films always manage to get an American actor, whether it be Michael Keaton, Robert Duvall or Burt Lancaster. Needs a Samuel L Jackson line, even if it's just a "I don't f***ing care. Just get this motherf***ing cat out of this motherf***ing town". Possibly a good description of Catrine too. Eta: the cat has to partly live in one of the abandoned coal mines, leading to a cracking scene when some folk go down a shaft and suffer light failure (SLJ says "Jesus H Christ, which motherf***er forgot to charge the motherf***ing batteries?!"). A few secs of silence with intermittent dripping and sobbing is broken by a growl, followed by piercing screams as the love interest is mauled / torn apart by cats in the pitch blackness. No special effects (and no guns), just a black screen accompanied with a brutal noise that makes the start of Saving Private Ryan seem like a kid's film in comparison. Starts off with some wifie doing the dishes at the kitchen window, looking up and then shouting "Gary, there's a big panther 'hing oot in the back gairden pishing aw ower yer lupines" Edited October 27, 2020 by Hedgecutter 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 55 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said: Scottish films always manage to get an American actor, whether it be Michael Keaton, Robert Duvall or Burt Lancaster. Needs a Samuel L Jackson line, even if it's just a "I don't f***ing care. Just get this motherf***ing cat out of this motherf***ing town". Possibly a good description of Catrine too. Eta: the cat has to partly live in one of the abandoned coal mines, leading to a cracking scene when some folk go down a shaft and suffer light failure (SLJ says "Jesus H Christ, which motherf***er forgot to charge the motherf***ing batteries?!"). A few secs of silence with intermittent dripping and sobbing is broken by a growl, followed by piercing screams as the love interest is mauled / torn apart by cats in the pitch blackness. No special effects (and no guns), just a black screen accompanied with a brutal noise that makes the start of Saving Private Ryan seem like a kid's film in comparison. Starts off with some wifie doing the dishes at the kitchen window, looking up and then shouting "Gary, there's a big panther 'hing oot in the back gairden pishing aw ower yer lupines" Survivors could be chased along the mine tunnel Raiders of the Lost Ark style by a giant ball which turns out to be a furball. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgecutter Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 34 minutes ago, tamthebam said: Survivors could be chased along the mine tunnel Raiders of the Lost Ark style by a giant ball which turns out to be a furball. ... riding a red and yellow Little Tykes Cozy Coupe that they'd found dumped inside the mine. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimi Shandrix Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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