Old Folks’ Homes

[Alert Mongoose]

Obviously been in the news recently but every time I’ve walked past one, they look utterly, utterly grim.  I can’t remember any family ever staying in one so don’t know what they are actually like inside.
 

Personally I would rather cark it than spend my last few years bumbling about one of these places. I don’t know if you can somehow give permission in advance to euthanise should you lose your faculties.

Would you be happy to stay in one?

[Gaz]

Three of my grandparents spent their final few years in them. They weren't great. They were all dementia sufferers and had absolutely no quality of life. That isn't the fault of the care home, though. A horrible way to spend their last few years.

However, my wife's Nana spent her final few years and for her it was different. She still had all her faculties, and enjoyed the social aspect. For her it was better than staying at home alone.

[Bairnardo]

Matt Lucas did a tremendous song about Old Folks homes on shooting stars. I have been unable to find footage of it.

 

So you will just have to take my word for it 

[RH33]

I’m visiting my granny tomorrow in hers. She’s 97 and limited quality life, if she was a dog she’d be put out the misety.

Haven't seen her in long time but her home seems nice and doesn’t smell of pish

[Alert Mongoose]

6 minutes ago, Gaz said:

Three of my grandparents spent their final few years in them. They weren't great. They were all dementia sufferers and had absolutely no quality of life. That isn't the fault of the care home, though. A horrible way to spend their last few years.

However, my wife's Nana spent her final few years and for her it was different. She still had all her faculties, and enjoyed the social aspect. For her it was better than staying at home alone.

I think I’ve got it in my head that they are full of the former which is probably inaccurate.  They just give me the fear.

[welshbairn]

There's a genetic reason why grandparents and children often get on well, they're meant to be looking after one another while their parents go out hunting and gathering. Couldn't stand mine though, right miserable and nosy old c***s. 

[Alert Mongoose]

9 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

Some are alright, some are really awful.

I worked as a temping kitchen porter in a few as a student, I mind one wee old lady grabbing my wrist when I was pouring her a cup of tea and saying 'son, can I no just die?', and another one who over the course of a few months went from following staff around asking them to stop for a wee blether (they never had any time to do this) to losing her mind entirely.  A Portuguese lady put her mum who couldn't speak English in one, she'd just say 'traida' to us (betrayed). At christmas time an old gent crying because he couldn't go home with his family, because he was incontinent (more like they didn't want to deal with the mess tbh). 20+ years ago and it still sticks with me. Heartbreaking stuff.

I think the worst one wasn't the worst in terms of the service offered to the residents but because it had two wings and depending on how much money you paid, you either got nice comfy seats, nicer food, more staff etc, or you got ugly cheap furniture, a worse telly, more basic food etc. And the two groups of residents could see each other through glass doors. That felt cruel.

When someone has a severe illness like alzheimers there's really no other option if you're not in a position to become a 24h carer for someone. I've read some stuff about families sending their elderly relatives to Thailand where there's a much better standard of care for the money, that has its appeal but I'd hate to be so far away if anything happened. 

If care homes in the future have decent internet and I can shitpost on P&B in my 80s I'd probably be alright with being in one but if it's the waiting room for the undertakers that most of them are these days I think I'll just tell my family one day that I'm just going outside and may be some time. 

That’s, er, helped a lot.  Christ, those Swiss clinics must be bloody tempting.

[welshbairn]

4 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

When someone has a severe illness like alzheimers there's really no other option if you're not in a position to become a 24h carer for someone.

They certainly won't get 24 hour care in a home, a psychiatrist told me they usually deteriorate rapidly as soon as they're booked in. I would never criticise someone for putting their parents in a home but it does seem unnatural, like giving your baby away till they can look after themselves, in reverse. Most societies wouldn't consider it as an option. Personally I'd prefer it to being stuck with my family 24/7 at the end.

 

 

 

[Alert Mongoose]

2 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

the best ones were churchy ones so join a congregation now so it doesn't look like it was about getting to the top of the queue

It’s bad, but not that bad.

Its easy to say i would never consider putting dependent parents in a home but I can’t imagine the work involved in being a 24 hour carer over and above chasing a four year old around in between working.

It’s a hell of a choice.

[ICTJohnboy]

38 minutes ago, RH33 said:

I’m visiting my granny tomorrow in hers. She’s 97 and limited quality life, if she was a dog she’d be put out the misety.

Haven't seen her in long time but her home seems nice and doesn’t smell of pish

 

I can mind visiting my granny on her 99th birthday some years ago in her nursing home. I thoughtfully took her a bottle of perfume as I felt she didn't smell very nice on my previous visit.

She studied this bottle of perfume from every angle before finally handing it back to me with the words :  "Ach son, I'll never drink this"

 

 

Edited July 30, 2020 by ICTJohnboy

[Bonksy+HisChristianParade]

One of my grans was in a home for well over a decade with dementia and that. My grandad must’ve looked after her full time for probably almost a decade prior until he wasn’t able to anymore. Pretty heartbreaking stuff, whenever I was there it was just a room full of people staring off into space. They did seem well looked after though. Dementia is a horrible, horrible disease.

[Theroadlesstravelled]

f**k boomers and their multiple homes.

[RH33]

16 minutes ago, MixuFruit said:

yeah it's difficult to think about. My folks are getting pretty doddery but they're still able to get out and about and their faculties are (largely) still intact. I'd probably suggest if it came to it that they sell their home and buy a wee place closer to one of us rather than going to a home, but then that essentially means no holidays if you're in delivering food and shopping every day and whatnot.

My Granny was with my folks for three years before care home. She had couple of falls and needed increasing levels of personal care, it just got too much.

[Gaz]

26 minutes ago, Alert Mongoose said:

It’s bad, but not that bad.

Its easy to say i would never consider putting dependent parents in a home but I can’t imagine the work involved in being a 24 hour carer over and above chasing a four year old around in between working.

It’s a hell of a choice.

My mum was a carer for my Papa (Crohns, kidney failure with dialysis three times a week) for over ten years, and my Dad when he had COPD and then terminal lung cancer. It was a brutal life for her.

[Musketeer Gripweed]

Face masks? The c***s should be wearing robbers masks. 

[Alert Mongoose]

10 minutes ago, Gaz said:

My mum was a carer for my Papa (Crohns, kidney failure with dialysis three times a week) for over ten years, and my Dad when he had COPD and then terminal lung cancer. It was a brutal life for her.

That sounds rough. All too easy to say ‘that’s what you signed up for’ but unfair in reality.

[ayrmad]

I'll haunt my lot if they stick me in one, if I get too bad to look after they're quite welcome to get the big pillow out. 

[Venti]

34 minutes ago, ayrmad said:

I'll haunt my lot if they stick me in one, if I get too bad to look after they're quite welcome to get the big pillow out. 

This.

They'll have a poltergeist on their hands.

[Dee Man]

1 hour ago, MixuFruit said:

Some are alright, some are really awful.

I worked as a temping kitchen porter in a few as a student, I mind one wee old lady grabbing my wrist when I was pouring her a cup of tea and saying 'son, can I no just die?', and another one who over the course of a few months went from following staff around asking them to stop for a wee blether (they never had any time to do this) to losing her mind entirely.  A Portuguese lady put her mum who couldn't speak English in one, she'd just say 'traida' to us (betrayed). At christmas time an old gent crying because he couldn't go home with his family, because he was incontinent (more like they didn't want to deal with the mess tbh). 20+ years ago and it still sticks with me. Heartbreaking stuff.

I think the worst one wasn't the worst in terms of the service offered to the residents but because it had two wings and depending on how much money you paid, you either got nice comfy seats, nicer food, more staff etc, or you got ugly cheap furniture, a worse telly, more basic food etc. And the two groups of residents could see each other through glass doors. That felt cruel.

When someone has a severe illness like alzheimers there's really no other option if you're not in a position to become a 24h carer for someone. I've read some stuff about families sending their elderly relatives to Thailand where there's a much better standard of care for the money, that has its appeal but I'd hate to be so far away if anything happened. 

If care homes in the future have decent internet and I can shitpost on P&B in my 80s I'd probably be alright with being in one but if it's the waiting room for the undertakers that most of them are these days I think I'll just tell my family one day that I'm just going outside and may be some time. 

This post has cheered me up no end.

[tamthebam]

2 hours ago, MixuFruit said:

the best ones were churchy ones so join a congregation now so it doesn't look like it was about getting to the top of the queue

You're getting sent to St Clabberts Home for Wayward Priests.

Don't forget your jungle music CDs..