Conspiracy Theories

[Curmudgeon]

In the supermarket the other day I changed the habit of a lifetime by abandoning my usual tea brand of Tetley in favour of a box of PG Tips. I'm not entirely sure why I did this, but I may have been nostagically reminiscing about about the antics of those hapless chimps on the adverts of years ago; I don't think they ever managed to get that piano shifted.

Another aspect to this is the fact that I would be treated to a technologically superior brew due to their use of pyramid shaped teabags. Giddy with anticipation I opened the pack, pulled out a teabag and regarded its distinguished design. You can imagine my ire and disappointment when I realised that it had a triangular rather than square base and was therefore a tetrahedron rather than a pyramid.

I firstly vowed never to buy anything off the back of a chimpanzee's recommendation again. That had happened once too often now for my liking.

Secondly I thought I'd compose a stern email to PG Tips, the utter charlatans. Fortunately before doing so I consulted the internet and in doing so found out that pyramid can have any number of different shapes as a base, triangles, hexagons, decagons, you name it, it can be done.

Feeling somewhat appeased I calmed down and had a cup of tea, which for the record was fairly decent.

tl;dr pyramids can be different shapes.

 

[Boo Khaki]

I'm still fucking furious at Tetley for abandoning the square/rectangular teabag in favour of the round version.

Round teabags float, in a way that their square predecessors never did, and this requires prodding and dunking with a teaspoon to achieve a satisfactory brew.

When I'm in charge first thing's first, I'm putting the heads of R&D at Tetley in a camp and installing a puppet square teabag regime instead.

[MONKMAN]

The latitude of The Great Pyramid of Giza is the same figures as the speed of light - FUCKING EXPLAIN THAT THEN!
 

Prime example of facts being distorted to suit the narrative.

The pyramid lies between 29.9782000N and 29.9802000N. When comparing to the speed of light 299,792,458m/s, assuming the coordinates 29.9792458 (to 7dp) are used, there’s another 20k lines of latitude that intersect the great pyramid.

[Todd_is_God]

15 hours ago, Savage Henry said:

I always buy it first in Monopoly.  

Statistically, you have a no greater than 1.04% chance of Mayfair being the first property you land on (Chance > Advance to Mayfair).

You could also land on this via (Just Visiting > Free Parking > Chance > Advance to Mayfair) but this has just a 0.04% chance.

I'm calling this out as a lie

I'm not going to go into the other possibilities as I know it was a joke and i've bored myself just typing that.

Edited August 5, 2020 by Todd_is_God

[welshbairn]

We took a taxi out to the pyramids on a very hot July day, saw all the hustlers out trying to shove everyone on camels and asked the driver to take us to a bar. We ended up in the cocktail bar of a very posh old hotel* with air conditioning, very reasonably priced drinks, and a great view of the pyramids. Spent a lovely couple of hours and took another taxi back to town.

*P.S. Mena House Hotel 

Edited August 6, 2020 by welshbairn

[Ludo*1]

It's not a theory I necessary believe in when it comes to the Egyptians, but it is one that's not talked about a lot that I'm really interested in. It's not really a conspiracy either - it's just that there is a train of a thought that the Sphinx is much, much older than the pyramids and was possibly built by an earlier civilisation. Some say it's 26,000 years old, some state between 7000-10,000. I believe it to be nonsense, personally and there's been loads of claims disputing it.

Here's a wee shitey video that talks it through:

There's another theory that the pyramids were built around astrology - Yet the Sphinx doesn't seem to have any significance in this regard EXCEPT if you go back much further in time which is explored in full here: https://www.ancient.eu/article/236/the-mystery-of-the-great-sphinx/

And since I've dived into the world of stuff here - Here's a bizarre and laugh out loud article (As always) by the Express saying that the Sphinx had the face of a lion:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/1091417/egypt-shock-giza-pyramid-sphinx-lion-face-theory-spt

Edited August 6, 2020 by Ludo*1

[Dee Man]

3 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

 

Prime example of facts being distorted to suit the narrative.

The pyramid lies between 29.9782000N and 29.9802000N. When comparing to the speed of light 299,792,458m/s, assuming the coordinates 29.9792458 (to 7dp) are used, there’s another 20k lines of latitude that intersect the great pyramid.
 

 

Not to mention the fact that the metre wasn't invented as a unit of measurement until 1793. Unless of course aliens forced humans to invent it. 

[Fullerene]

1 hour ago, Dee Man said:

Not to mention the fact that the metre wasn't invented as a unit of measurement until 1793. Unless of course aliens forced humans to invent it. 

Good point.  Also the human decision to take the time the Earth takes to rotate once on its axis divide it by 24 then 60 and then 60 again.

Anyway I bet you are annoyed these Aliens chose Egypt instead of Western Australia.

Edited August 6, 2020 by Fullerene

[throbber]

6 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

 

Prime example of facts being distorted to suit the narrative.

The pyramid lies between 29.9782000N and 29.9802000N. When comparing to the speed of light 299,792,458m/s, assuming the coordinates 29.9792458 (to 7dp) are used, there’s another 20k lines of latitude that intersect the great pyramid.
 

 

The temperature inside the Great Pyramid never changes either and despite it being much hotter outside it always remains at 20 degrees Celsius ie the average temperature on earth.

Also why would they build the faces on a very slight concave that was only visible from above? Who was looking down on it?

[Theroadlesstravelled]

5 minutes ago, throbber said:

The temperature inside the Great Pyramid never changes either and despite it being much hotter outside it always remains at 20 degrees Celsius ie the average temperature on earth.

Also why would they build the faces on a very slight concave that was only visible from above? Who was looking down on it?

The aliens are into POV videos.

[throbber]

10 minutes ago, Theroadlesstravelled said:

The aliens are into POV videos.

Glad I’m not the only one then.

[Hillonearth]

7 hours ago, MONKMAN said:

 

Prime example of facts being distorted to suit the narrative.

The pyramid lies between 29.9782000N and 29.9802000N. When comparing to the speed of light 299,792,458m/s, assuming the coordinates 29.9792458 (to 7dp) are used, there’s another 20k lines of latitude that intersect the great pyramid.
 

There was a weird Victorian fascination for the pyramids and what they signified, not least the bizarre theory that its dimensions predicted future events.

Using the metric system didn't suit what they were trying to prove, so they tried again with imperial measurements which worked slightly better but  still not well enough...they then invented their own set of measurements in order to make the results fit - the "pyramid inch". Insanely, this crank theory was a part of the reason Britain held out so long in adopting the metric system, as if the inch was good enough for the ancient Egyptians...

And then it turned out that Napoleon's surveyors had got the dimensions a bit off in the first place when they measured it - they had it as a few feet bigger than it actually was and obviously also failed to take into account that the whole thing would have originally been faced in limestone which would have affected all the dimensions anyway.

Edited August 6, 2020 by Hillonearth

[Dee Man]

2 hours ago, Fullerene said:

Good point.  Also the human decision to take the time the Earth takes to rotate once on its axis divide it by 24 then 60 and then 60 again.

Anyway I bet you are annoyed these Aliens chose Egypt instead of Western Australia.

f**k the pyramids, the aliens gave us Wave Rock:

 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1 minute ago, Dee Man said:

f**k the pyramids, the aliens gave us Wave Rock:

 

That’s just a big Quaver. Walkers did that.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

38 minutes ago, throbber said:

The temperature inside the Great Pyramid never changes either and despite it being much hotter outside it always remains at 20 degrees Celsius ie the average temperature on earth.

Thermal mass.  Not an alien technology.

[throbber]

I hope the guy posing like he’s riding a wave dies in a shark attack.

[throbber]

5 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Thermal mass.  Not an alien technology.

Incorrect.

[Shandon Par]

9 hours ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

I clambered up onto the first block on the great pyramid, and then got told to get down, it is amazing. IRL. IMO.
Thank you.

Be good to see some pics of the feline Ronnie & Reggie on the pyramid.

Thank you.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

4 minutes ago, throbber said:

Incorrect.

I’m always correct.

[Bigmouth Strikes Again]

44 minutes ago, Shandon Par said:

Be good to see some pics of the feline Ronnie & Reggie on the pyramid.

Thank you.

Probably their rightful place, as they were worshipped by the Pharaohs.

Thank you.