19QOS19 Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 Hears a noise down a darkened cellar Goes to down the said cellar armed just with a torchAnd said torch begins to flicker before dying. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotThePars Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 On 05/07/2020 at 17:18, MixuFruit said: Answering the phone with an assertive "yeah" or "talk to me" instead of "hello?". Then putting the phone down without saying "bye". Imagine if your mum did that when you phoned her. Was thinking about this yesterday and then I thought about how I think Seinfeld has all their characters generally conduct a normal phonecall. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted July 6, 2020 Share Posted July 6, 2020 This happens in Sitcoms face to face as well. They just leave the house without saying goodbye. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 People like to live in peaceful quiet little villages where the murder rate is 500 times the national average. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arabdownunder Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 The only time a car fails to start first time is when the driver is being chased.. There is always a vacant parking space right outside the building 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 Someone goes through some traumatic happening and the boss says “take as much time as you need”. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arabdownunder Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 Court case hinges on the testimony of a surprise witness 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 If our heroes just fail to catch a helicopter to take them out of a war zone, it takes off without them and then explodes. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 13 hours ago, WhiteRoseKillie said: (One for us oldies) Every plan for world domination/process for producing a doomsday disease/program to siphon the entire world's cash into one TSB SuperSaver account must fit onto a 3.5" floppy disk. Obviously the world is a safer place now. Even if the wrong person managed to get hold of the disk, they would struggle to find a computer that can read it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Northboy Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 All car drivers run around with the windows down so that they can speak with other characters on the street. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Golden God Posted July 7, 2020 Share Posted July 7, 2020 People arrive in pubs/bars, order a drink, usually a beer without specifying the brand, have a 2 minute or less conversation with someone, leave without drinking more than a sip of said beer and sometimes not paying for it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 All Asian people, whether they're a child or an octogenarian are martial arts experts. All clever people wear glasses and are socially inept. Anyone who badmouths their boss will pause and say "They're standing behind me aren't they?" And of course, they'll be right. All attractive women are single and ready to date. None ever rebuff the man with, "No sorry I'm married / have a boyfriend / here with my friends." If a gun runs out of bullets, the owner will just look at it in disgust then throw it away. Never mind that guns are a) expensive and b) can be reused. Or even used as a cosh. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from every window in Paris. If you're as tough as John Wayne, you can be hit with multiple bullets and still win a fist fight. No chance you'll spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair. Police and Government departments have access to futuristic hi-tech computers, which can zoom in on any image without the slightest loss of resolution. Any clever schoolkid can hack into the world's most secure computer systems in a matter of seconds using a standard laptop. The wafer thin metal of air conditioning ducts can support a heavily muscled man and allow him to travel to anywhere in the building in complete silence. The vents can be opened easily from the inside. All Native Americans and Australian aborigines are wise. After having sex, people will put their underwear back on before going to sleep. Even if they're both so drunk they don't remember doing the deed. Women particularly, don't want the men to see them nekkid afterwards. Any American who goes food shopping will buy a loaf of french bread and have it sticking up out of the paper bag. People working service industry jobs earn enough to live in very expensive dwellings. If a woman barfs, she's pregnant. The black soldier will die before the end. As will the guy who'll be getting married as soon as he gets home. In fact, if you're in a war, it's best not to talk of your plans for the future. Computers don't have cursors, or any recognisable operating system. Good guys use Apple, bad guys use Windows. In order to disguise herself as a man, a woman simply has to put her long hair under a hat and wear mens' clothes tailored for her figure. She can even wear makeup and nobody will suspect. Mothers cook massive amounts of food for their family's breakfast even though nobody eats it. People routinely drink out of empty mugs. If two women are pregnant, they'll both go into labour at the same time. And they give birth to peacefully sleeping 3-month old babies. Christ, I could go on all night. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotgun Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 On 05/07/2020 at 09:37, Geaky said: Any man having a shave will be interrupted midway through. He will wipe off the shaving foam and go about the rest of the day without anyone noticing that half his face is covered in stubble. Or without him being bothered by his face being sticky as f**k. On 06/07/2020 at 04:36, 19QOS19 said: Modern horror films seem to have replaced *actor slowly approaches cupboard/door door handle to check if bad guy/monster is inside, opens door to get jump scene* with *actor slowly approaches cupboard/door door handle to check if bad guy/monster is inside, opens door and finds nothing. Relaxes. Turns round for jump scene*. Also, anyone who uses a bathroom cabinet, will get a nasty surprise in the mirror when they close it. On 06/07/2020 at 04:40, Bully Wee Villa said: Generally, dreams in TV and film are shite. Even The Sopranos, pinnacle of televisual achievement, was rubbish when they decided to have a bloody dream episode. I hated the Sopranos dream sequence episodes. The mark of a lazy, incompetent writer. On 06/07/2020 at 13:36, 19QOS19 said: This happens in Sitcoms face to face as well. They just leave the house without saying goodbye. In sitcoms, men may be stupid knuckleheads but they've still managed to snag a hot intelligent wife and a beautiful home. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 The double fake-out dream sequence. Something terrible happens to character in a dream; they wake up in a cold sweat, breathe a sigh of relief, then roll over and OMFG THE MONSTER IS IN BED WITH ME!!! Wake up in cold sweat again. Apparently it used to be a "joke" among black actors that, if they turned up to rehearsals to discover that they were the only black person in the ensemble, their character was going to die. One of those things you wouldn't necessarily notice unless you're black, but once you do, you realise it's everywhere. Also, lesbian or trans characters in Hollywood are mentally ill, often violent killers. BE A WEAR. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glassnahalf Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 People rattle away on a computer keyboard at a rate of 60 words a minute and only 2 words pop up on the screen. Usually a few seconds later. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 People rattle away on a computer keyboard at a rate of 60 words a minute and only 2 words pop up on the screen. Usually a few seconds later.Similarly, when people are on their Xbox or Playstation, they hammer away at the controller. I've been playing with consoles for over 20 years and have yet to batter away at the controller like that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 2 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: 3 hours ago, glassnahalf said: People rattle away on a computer keyboard at a rate of 60 words a minute and only 2 words pop up on the screen. Usually a few seconds later. Similarly, when people are on their Xbox or Playstation, they hammer away at the controller. I've been playing with consoles for over 20 years and have yet to batter away at the controller like that. So much this! They hold the controller out and away from their body and mash the buttons in random fashion, all whilst physically turning the controller side to side and usually not touching the directional sticks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Golden God Posted July 8, 2020 Share Posted July 8, 2020 Sporting events are never ever sold out no matter how big/popular. The characters can get a last minute ticket for the World Cup final like it’s a 3rd division game in the middle of winter. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 13 hours ago, The Golden God said: Sporting events are never ever sold out no matter how big/popular. The characters can get a last minute ticket for the World Cup final like it’s a 3rd division game in the middle of winter. .. and they accidentally bump into the star player but fail to recognise him ( or her). "Oops. Sorry. I didn't see you there" "That's okay. I am a bit nervous myself" Later .. "Who was that guy. He should look where he's going or they should throw him out" Ho ho ho. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Funky Nosejob Posted July 9, 2020 Share Posted July 9, 2020 In the 1980s and 90s, an out of control computer could be shut down by taking a baseball bat to the monitor. Whilst this was surprisingly effective in most films, all comedies required the token thicko to bend down and pull the plug out of the wall socket. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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