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Conquering Britain & Ireland


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January 2023

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Fairly decent overall.  Apart from the Cup Final, we had a couple of decent results in the league and are through in the big cup too. Don't know how we went from only just rescuing a draw against Bala in the league to horsing them 4-0 in the cup 4 days later, but it was swell.

Absolutely pumped off TNS though, 2-0 flattered us a bit - really hammered home how far behind them we are. 

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We  managed to sneak in to the top half, but I think that will be the limit of our achievements. The title is already beyond us (not quite mathematically, but realistically) and we'd need to make up 12 points in 9 games to  have a shot at the European spots - and we haven't beaten either Cardiff Met or Newtown this season. Oh well - still chasing a cup double...

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February 2023

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Good start to the month, and then 2 draws which pretty much end any (slim) hope we had of finishing in the top 3, and  European football. Granted, European football for Welsh sides tends to mean getting horsed out immediately by some complete dross from Luxembourg  or something, but still would have been nice.

Our performance in the cup against Colwyn Bay was an absolute disgrace, but we held on for penalties and got through to the semi final, where we'll play TNS - a side whom we've been consistently outplayed by, so I'm sure that'll go well.

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If I can finish in 4th, I'll be pretty happy. We've still 2 games against Barry so win those and we should be sound for at least 5th.

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March 2023

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Well, the month started brilliantly with a hard fought win against TNS, and then fell away to absolute dogshit. The Barry game in particular was really, really bad. Conceded 4 of the goals within 6 minutes. Just awful stuff.

Also pumped out the cup, so our season is effectively over. It's been a decent one, but is ending with a bit of a whimper.

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We'll finish 4th if we sort ourselves out, 6th if we continue as we have been. Hooray.

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I don't mean to spoil a good surprise for you but the Welsh League do a European play off for teams 4th-7th so you have one last go at trying to get European football. 

Sad to see Caerau Ely get relegated though ☹️

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16 hours ago, craigiemack said:

I don't mean to spoil a good surprise for you but the Welsh League do a European play off for teams 4th-7th so you have one last go at trying to get European football. 

Sad to see Caerau Ely get relegated though ☹️

They seem to have stopped that in my save, as they only get 3 european spots now... 

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April 2023

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So, we continued our dreadful run in the first two games, and then managed to lift it for our final game to secure 5th.  Only 3 European places now, so no playoff unfortunately - Welsh Cup final is TNS v Cefn, so either Cefn or Newtown will get the 3rd spot.

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I would say that's been a relatively successful first season, especially taking the cup exploits into consideration.  Sorry to see Caerau Ely go down, especially given that the squad was largely assembled by me.

TNS are miles out in front, which isn't at all surprising when you consider...

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They've got more than 3 times the budget of anyone else. Cardiff Met are the anomaly, but they have about 60 first team players and guys there won't sign for me, despite being on amateur terms where they are. Bala getting relegated is quite funny though, second highest budget and they won the league 3 seasons ago.

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Overall, the board are pretty happy. My results have been mostly garbage for a while, so I can see how they're upset about that, but I'll take an A overall. f**k knows how this is worked out as none of my individual ratings are as high as the overall one. 

On a final note, I was delighted to see this.

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Total fucking football. 

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A side quest beckons. 

Don't really know why I applied for it, but I've got it now so will see how it goes. They do a nations league thing in North America as well, apparently, so I'm in a group with Canada and Jamaica. We're the lowest ranked of the 3 (71st, Canada are 58th and Jamaica are 37th), and I'm expected to achieve a midtable position, so I'll need to be better than one of them. 

At least I've avoided Mexico and the US.

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Transfer Window

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Outgoings first, and we didn't lose anyone directly to another club, but these were the players that got released at the end of the season, and some a bit later when I realised that I'd forgotten to punt them already.  These guys managed 4 league starts between them last season, and every single one of those were Nathan Brown, so not massive loss here.

Now the interesting bit:

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There's 6 shown, but we actually had 7 guys come in - we signed a keeper at the end of last season, but he joined immediately so is counting as a signing for last season.

I'll start with that keeper, Rhys Williams, plenty of  experience in this league with Barry Town and a bit of a step up from Byrne from last season. Should be solid.

Spoiler

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Next up, a guy to solve what I felt was my problem area last season with Carwyn Richards, a right back released from Cardiff's youth system who we got on a pre-contract. Seems fairly dependable defensively, and there's nothing standing out as incredibly shit, so should be good enough for this level.

Spoiler

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The only other guy signing on a pre-contract was Ryan Crooks, a striker formerly of TNS. He didn't play a single league game for them last season, but managed 7 in 26 appearances (3 starts) for Bala the season before, and  6 in 15 (8 starts) for TNS the season before that as well, so has scored at this level. His finishing, dribbling and pace look pretty good - should be a good threat for me.

Spoiler

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Next up, we have Ben Atkinson, a centre midfielder. He looks as though  he's pretty tidy on the ball, will run around a lot and generally be fine. An improvement on anything we had certainly.

Spoiler

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Our other signing in central midfield was Theo Wharton, a guy with 42 caps (for St Kitts and Nevis, admittedly) and plenty of experience at our level and in the English sixth tier. He looks pretty meh, but should be an ok option to have around the squad. I mostly signed him because we missed out on a significantly better player who signed for English powerhouses Barrow instead.

Spoiler

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Our penultimate signing, Ben Burrows, is a centre back (well, he's a right back but I'll be playing him a centre back) and is better than what I had, without being very good. There's nothing overly crap about him, and he's the best I could get frankly, but he's still not wonderful - still, will be part of my first choice pairing at the back.

Spoiler

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Final signing we got in on deadline day, and its left winger Armelindo Mema. He's got a bit of flair, had a reasonable enough first touch, dribbling and technique and a bit of pace. Mostly, I'm just delighted that I have someone to compete with Kurtis Byrne at left winger - I basically couldn't substitute him last season as I had f**k all to replace him with. He''ll be my first choice at left wing anyway, and Byrne will be a useful utility man off the bench.

Spoiler

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All of that means that the squad is looking like this for the season ahead...

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Crooks will be first choice, but Morgan Jones scored 16 league goals for me last season, so 2 good options here.

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First choice is self explanatory - could probably do with improving on Clayton, but it wasn't a priority for this summer - maybe in January,

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Atkinson, with either Jones or Wharton. Plenty of players can play here, but could do with some more quality. 

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Much happier with that than last season, although now left back could do with being improved.  Also a bit of a lack of depth at centre back, but the first choice is acceptable.

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Second strongest area of my team I'd say, Byrne is a more than acceptable option as back up, and Williams is good.

I think I've improved upon last season's squad, and I think we're better in almost every area of the team so I'm hopeful for a successful season

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August 2023

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Well, through in the league cup, lost to Newtown through a 91st minute goal and then two good wins, particularly against Cardiff Met - even though they were down to 10 men for most of the second half. One major worry is that we've conceded 2 goals in every league game so far - need to cut that out pretty quickly.

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Decent start, but too early to really read anything into it.

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5 hours ago, AsimButtHitsASix said:

There's a decent number of players in the Dutch league who will be eligible in yer side quest if you plan on staying any length of time it might be worth adding in the Dutch league in the background if it aint running at the minute

Good shout, it's loading up from next season - hopefully I'll last that long...

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September 2023

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A pretty crap month - the 3 draws were all points thrown away against shite teams, apart from Cefn who are alright bur had 10 men for almost the whole second half. Connah's scored in the 86th minute to win, while Llantwit scored in the 90th to dump us out the League Cup.

Only bright point was beating newly promoted Llandudno in the last minute, but even then we didn't perform well.

I have also decided that I fucking love new boy Armalindo Mema. He has no end products whatsoever, but it's glorious watching him glide past players at will.

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Improvements needed - we're closer to the bottom than top which isn't really good enough. 

Curaçao

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Devastating to lose against Canada, they scored the winner in the 95th minute after we'd equalised in the 89th. Jamaica, however, were just far better than us - helped by the fact that they have that Leon Bailey, now at Chelsea and valued at £71million, playing for them.

Not the best of starts, but if I can beat Canada at home and hope that Jamaica win all their games I might be ok.

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We have Jamaica away next month, which I'm not looking forward to...

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October 2023

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A significantly better month, despite the customary loss to TNS. We've been scraping through those games, but 3 wins is a great outcome for the month, and the win against Newtown  gives me my first victory in the Mid Wales Derby.

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Gone rocketing up the league into 3rd, but still miles away from TNS at the top. 

Also, after 4 and a bit seasons, I've finally managed to get a board to agree to this:

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Hooray.

Curaçao

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Another pumping off Jamaica, although they also beat Canada 3-0 - I think they'll probably beat Canada again, so if we can beat Canada by 2 or more then we'll overtake them. That's a fairly large if at this point though.

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November 2023

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A mixed month, but I suppose we got the results I would have expected. TNS are still far too good.

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Still hanging around near the top end of the league, which is good, but we're miles off winning this league.

Curaçao

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Well, it turns out that Canada are absolutely garbage. Who's that Canadian boy who supports Celtic on here? Your boys took a hell of a beating.

We played well, and the boy Rangelo Janga is now the record goalscorer for Curaçao, but they really stank the place out.

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Canada also lost to Jamaica again, so we stay in the top division of the Nations League - which is great, as the divisions below seem to consist mostly of countries you only hear about for drug related violence or Caribbean islands with about 20 people on them. Another benefit is...

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We're heading to the USA for the Gold Cup!  

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December 2023

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Pretty poor month, although we did get through in the cup. Need to pick back up soon to finish as high up as we can, although we've clearly no chance of winning the league.

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3 games until the split, we're almost guaranteed to be top half - that poor month has seen us slip away from the top 3.

Picked up a new player towards the end of the month, striker Dave Watts who looks pretty good. Good finishing, first touch, technique and pace.  He's also fairly young, cheap and should be good for a couple of seasons. 

Spoiler

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January 2024

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 A clean sweep. Secured our place in the top half (which means we're definitely in the playoff for the European places, at least) and then a couple more wins saw us move into the top 3. We also got through in the Cup, and TNS have been knocked out already so it's wide open. 

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Into the top 3, if we can stay here for the rest of the season, that'd be just swell. 

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February 2024

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Pretty much as expected, I suppose. Would have been nice to beat Newtown and really cement ourselves in the top 3, but the Connah's Quay result was huge in that regard.

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TNS are champions already - and 70 points is more than any other team has managed in any season. We're 5 points ahead of 4th with 6 games left, so I'm aiming to ensure we stay at least 3rd and hopefully push into 2nd. 

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March 2024

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We were 2-0 down against Penybont before Dave Watts dragged us kicking and screaming into the semi final.  We'll play local rivals Carmarthen.

The rest of the month was fine - although the loss against Newtown was a shocker.  Connah's Quay were surprisingly poor. We scored twice early on, and were able to sit back and soak up pressure, hitting them on the counter. It went pretty well.

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Well, we're almost definitely in the top 4, at least.  We've got Cardiff Met, Barry and TNS still to play - I'd be amazed if we get anything from TNS, but a draw against Met and a win at Barry will probably see us into 2nd.

Curaçao

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Arranged a couple of friendlies against dross, and won them both.

I was really annoyed about the US Virgin Islands game. They're ranked 211th out of 211, and I only arranged it to try and beat the record win for Curaçao (15-0), but we put in a bit of a shite performance. 

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