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Best teacher meltdowns


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1 minute ago, Perkin Flump said:

I was out and about back then too BFTB, that guy sounds way more sinister than the mental teachers I had to deal with. I spoke to the worst of them a few years after I left & they were generally sound guys who were just trying to keep the stupid but saveable ones on an even keel, that Teacher just sounds like a wrong 'un.

Well, yeah. There were a few wrong 'uns at some of the schools I went to.

Is that kind of behaviour unusual? I figured most folk would've known a teacher or two who should've been in the jail.

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2 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Well, yeah. There were a few wrong 'uns at some of the schools I went to.

Is that kind of behaviour unusual? I figured most folk would've known a teacher or two who should've been in the jail.

I went to St Michaels in Kilwinning, so yes we did have a Teacher who went to jail but he seemed ok at the time. This guy sounds wrong on every level.

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2 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

That was about thirty years ago. I'm guessing he's dead by now.

That kind of behaviour wasn't exactly uncommon. We had a PE teacher who was quick with his fists as well. I don't know about now, but it seemed like there were a number of folk in teaching who absolutely detested kids.

We had a PE teacher who would stand and watch us showering.  I've often thought that's is something I should probably talk to someone about. 

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We had a pretty good school football team but we had initiations where new guys would get dragged through the showers (fully clothed) and then flour thrown over them. 

Harmless enough and was accepted until the teacher that 'coached' the team left and we got a new guy who was a p***k and the first time we done this we got withdrawn from all competitions. 

Maybe if our teacher watched us in the showers the school would have won awards. 

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A PE teacher at my old school was well-known for his fraternising with older female pupils. I believe it even made the newspapers.

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Not a meltdown but I had a glaswegian chemistry teacher who used to just have outbursts, I remember one particular time he called one of my pals a wee fat c**t (which he was) and offered him a square go after he answered back. Did not last long.

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One of the PE teachers at my school (former St. Mirren player) was known for propositioning one of the sixth year girls each year at our leavers party.
I had a physics teacher that done this, actually groomed them for years then took them home after the S6 leavers dance.
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Do we have any PE teachers on P&B? Is perving over the kids still considered a perk of the job?

No, I'm not considering a change of career. f**k off.

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11 hours ago, Empty It said:
11 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said:
One of the PE teachers at my school (former St. Mirren player) was known for propositioning one of the sixth year girls each year at our leavers party.

I had a physics teacher that done this, actually groomed them for years then took them home after the S6 leavers dance.

Had a teacher who would routinely end up shagging lassies from school the year after they left. When I started going to nightclubs when I was 15/16 he was regularly in Ricos in Greenock hovering about like a vulture.

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We had an older German wifey for German in S1 in Culloden Accadamy.  Everyone was mad for those wee devil bangers, funsnap things at the time. She lost control of the class one day and had about 15 boys just leathering these wee bangers off of her head, her desk, the roof and the wall behind her as she sat buckled crying with her head in her hands as these things just bounced all over her.  It was pretty grim tbh.  You could still see all the black marks on the roof when I left in 6th year.

Another harrowing incident happened on the playing fields one winter.  A mass snowball fight spiraled into a scrap, Mrs Reid, a heavily pregnant art teacher has waded in to separate the two boys.  On of their pals tho has taken a heads down run  up at his rival at this point, and launched into the most perfect flying drop kick I have ever seen. Right into the belly of the teacher. About 200 people just stopped silent, jaws open, then ran. Just a stampede off the pitch in fear, everyone bar a few lassies who helped her crumpled on the ground holding her belly screaming "my baby my baby".   It was brutal and that wee neds first of many expulsions.  If I never hear pain and fear in a voice like that again in my life I'll die a happy man.

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8 minutes ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said:

Another harrowing incident happened on the playing fields one winter.  A mass snowball fight spiraled into a scrap, Mrs Reid, a heavily pregnant art teacher has waded in to separate the two boys.  On of their pals tho has taken a heads down run  up at his rival at this point, and launched into the most perfect flying drop kick I have ever seen. Right into the belly of the teacher. About 200 people just stopped silent, jaws open, then ran. Just a stampede off the pitch in fear, everyone bar a few lassies who helped her crumpled on the ground holding her belly screaming "my baby my baby".   It was brutal and that wee neds first of many expulsions.  If I never hear pain and fear in a voice like that again in my life I'll die a happy man.

d10f505a0a69b2ef3e5b4e608b823a7c.gif

Follow-up required here.

  • was the foetus OK?
  • what kind of fucking school did you go to where drop-kicking a pregnancy women in the stomach wasn't grounds for permanent explusion?  :o
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4 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

d10f505a0a69b2ef3e5b4e608b823a7c.gif

Follow-up required here.

  • was the foetus OK?
  • what kind of fucking school did you go to where drop-kicking a pregnancy women in the stomach wasn't grounds for permanent explusion?  :o

Baby was fine! Culloden Academy had intake from the lovely schemes of Culloden, Smithton, Ardersier and Croy.  Drop kicking a pregnant teacher was probably seen as an act of kindness from some of these animals.

Edited by HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows
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Baby was fine! Culloden Academy had intake from the lovely schemes of Culloden, Smithton, Ardersier and Croy.  Drop kicking a pregnant teacher was probably seen as an act of kindness from some of these animals.
I never understood why arse n ear went to Culloden. They were closer to us in Nairn.
Would have got on well with the cawdor / auldern weirdoes
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Culloden Academy always struck me as a mental school to attend.  My now closest pals all went there and some of the stories I've heard from them are wild.  

Millburn Academy was fucking boring.  We had all the posh kids from Crown there.  It was up to us Drakies boys to create the carnage.

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  • 2 months later...

Not a teacher meltdown at school, but a meltdown by a teacher nonetheless. The fella in this video (who is catholic) taught me modern studies. Met him at football and elsewhere since, a really sound guy and part of the dynamic Mr Hunt/Mr White patter merchants humanities department group at the Academy at the time. Felt bad about bringing this up but it was soon outed on Twitter he was a teacher at the time.

 

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On 23/04/2020 at 13:34, RandomGuy. said:

 

A less literal, and more metaphorical, one was a substitute French teacher who became permanent. She was called Miss Stokes, looked like Gollum, and there was constantly a wee bag she kept on top of the blackboard (thinking back she probably had no idea it was there). About 4 months of making jokes behind her back about her being Smeagol Stokes and it being her ring seemed to get to her as she vanished for a few weeks due to stress.

She returned around exam time, done a mock speaking test in class, only for us all to be so horrendous at it (when asked to say "I own a house" in French, my mate replied with "My house is a chicken" (aye we checked after)) she stormed out before the lesson even ended and never returned as far as I know.

This is definitely the Miss Stokes/Mrs Stark in the french department at Perth Academy when I was there. Had an acrimonious divorce and developed a rare stomach condition when she taught us higher. Retched at my mate and  I in the front row and said "oh I nearly threw up there!" To which we replied "well fucking don't."

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