Best teacher meltdowns

[EdinburghPar1975]

12 hours ago, Chicken Wing said:

A few posters have mentioned the "tawse". Was it not the Lochgelly tawse?

 

 

Oh here's proof!

 

 

Edit- getting the taw has a different meaning in deepest darkest Fife!

 

When we moved into our house about 5 years ago we found one of those at the back of the bedroom cupboard. Neither of the couple who lived here were teachers but they did end up with six kids....maybe it was a 'toy' for them...

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Kids nicknames for teachers should probably be the first thing you are taught at teacher school. 
 

That alone should be enough to put anyone off.

[Karpaty Lviv]

On 23/04/2020 at 09:45, ScottR96 said:

You’re getting yer RE teachers mixed up. Quinn was a wee Scottish woman. She was quite old school but a great laugh, wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of her, though. 

Shamefully can’t remember the American one’s name. She was friends with my Gran, who worked in the reception. I know her first name but can’t remember her surname. She’s no dead either, I’m fairly certain she was at my Grans funeral in September . 

 made an arse of that one aye. A source (K.Thacker VL) has informed me its Mrs O’Dochery which sounds about right. It’s not the first teacher related death I’ve heard either, apparently Mr Quigley the woodwork teacher passed away as well? He was a right laugh. I’ll never forget him telling me “If you went any slower Chris, you’d be going backwards”. I met him in a pub when I was 18, he was really sound. 

[Newbornbairn]

17 hours ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Linlathen?

Fought them at Caird Park, around about 1979, was like a battle scene from Braveheart. IMO.

Kirkton then? Because they fought the St Saveys lot at the other side. Apparently.

[Markka]

During standard grades at my school, while most "double" classes were for "fun" classes (PE, Art, Music etc) I somehow ended up with double Physics one mid-morning per week.

There was no separation of ability in the class and looking back those in it must have picked physics as a last resort. I was reasonably smart at most subjects but was pretty awful at physics, probably because the class was always a riot.

Anyway, one of the top neds in the year had got his girlfriend pregnant (they were both 14) and he was in this class, not that actually turned up all the time. Shockingly, the day after he became a dad, he turned up at school, albeit late, for double physics.

I can't remember which of the two started the heads gone but within minutes the ned and teacher were challenging each other to a square go in the middle of the class, with the teacher eventually storming out, never to return to the classroom that morning.

Don't know what was up with the teacher but I think the ned was told to stay away from school for a bit for some unofficial paternity leave.

Hated the class but both guys eventually did me a favour, the teacher giving me a 1 grade for practical physics despite being hopeless, and the ned for stopping his gang giving me a doing that summer as, quote, I was "alright".

[stimpy]

2nd year RE class and we all sat down and there was already paper on each desk so Colin drew a rudimentary penis on our bit and the teacher strolling past clocked it. Now this guy was American, in his 50s and built like the side of a house, he dragged poor Colin out of his seat while calling him a little mother f*cker then kinda pushed/carried him across the classroom and threw him against a wall all the time calling him all sorts of shit. When Colin bounced off the wall the teacher pinned him against it and held his fist up to hit him before thinking better of it and just going back to verbally abusing him. He then turned away from Colin and started shouting at all of us and calling the head of year and his wife who was also a teacher "f*uckers" and "Mother f*uckers" and saying he didn't care if us little b*stards told them and reported him for what he was doing. The whole time he was at 99, red face, raging, the whole nine yards, we all sat slack jawed while Colin stood by the door where the teacher left him. It went on for a while just him ranting and swearing then he started to come down and calm a bit. Colin was asked to retake his seat which he did and the teacher apologised to us all for his outburst then once he'd gathered himself the class began. 

Nobody reported it or anything and Colin just laughed about it (he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box) and life went on.

Secondry state education in Scotland in the 80s ladies and gents. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

19 hours ago, Bigmouth Strikes Again said:

Linlathen?

Fought them at Caird Park, around about 1979, was like a battle scene from Braveheart. IMO.

IMO.

[Mark Connolly]

8 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Kids nicknames for teachers should probably be the first thing you are taught at teacher school. 
 

That alone should be enough to put anyone off.

 

[Brother Blades]

2nd year RE class and we all sat down and there was already paper on each desk so Colin drew a rudimentary penis on our bit and the teacher strolling past clocked it. Now this guy was American, in his 50s and built like the side of a house, he dragged poor Colin out of his seat while calling him a little mother f*cker then kinda pushed/carried him across the classroom and threw him against a wall all the time calling him all sorts of shit. When Colin bounced off the wall the teacher pinned him against it and held his fist up to hit him before thinking better of it and just going back to verbally abusing him. He then turned away from Colin and started shouting at all of us and calling the head of year and his wife who was also a teacher "f*uckers" and "Mother f*uckers" and saying he didn't care if us little b*stards told them and reported him for what he was doing. The whole time he was at 99, red face, raging, the whole nine yards, we all sat slack jawed while Colin stood by the door where the teacher left him. It went on for a while just him ranting and swearing then he started to come down and calm a bit. Colin was asked to retake his seat which he did and the teacher apologised to us all for his outburst then once he'd gathered himself the class began. 
Nobody reported it or anything and Colin just laughed about it (he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box) and life went on.
Secondry state education in Scotland in the 80s ladies and gents. 

Mr Smith, American guy?

[stimpy]

12 minutes ago, Brother Blades said:

Mr Smith, American guy?

Yeah, that's him. 

[paul-r-cfc]

Our primary 7 teacher was a wee guy with a mullet and over the course of the last few months, he was slowly creeping towards a meltdown. It was just a matter of when.

Eventually he gave us the mother of all rants for about half an hour which we still quote to this day, 15 years later. Lot of stuff about how we'd get out teeth knocked on at secondary as we'd be small fish in a big pond , how we can't cut the mustard and other weird phrases we'd never heard before.

Not quite chair launching madness, but it was memorable. He left the room immediately after finishing and the explosion of laughter that followed is like nothing I've heard before or since.

[DeeTillEhDeh]

My wife tells me tales of the school she went to in Dundee. Forgot the name - where Asda is now on the Forfar Rd? Teachers were allegedly the bad ones from other schools all re-located.

Linlathen High School

[Busta Nut]

On 22/04/2020 at 15:47, Ron Aldo said:

Unsurprisingly he didn't come back the following year and the rumour was that he had joined the police. I'm sure that went well for him given his calm, controlling demeanour...

He could be every copper ever.

[jimbaxters]

On 23/04/2020 at 12:23, JMDP said:

I was fortunate that I had already had a career of sorts in communication/media before getting into teaching at 26 so I was well versed in dealing with c***s. 

I mentor new teachers as part of my job and run workshops on behaviour management - it can be daunting and difficult for new teachers and confidence is definitely important. The first strategy though is to teach engaging lessons tbh. After that, clarity and consistency is important as well. I guess I was lucky that I found that side of teaching fairly easy at the start.

I also spent a year as a TA in a school for kids with Emotional and Behavioural issues before qualifying which was invaluable. My first two schools were in proper rough areas of London and everything else seems easy in comparison tbh.  

When I went to school, it seemed like there were teachers having absolute headsgone meltdowns every day. Mental looking back on just how frequent it was. Also funny to see on facebook now many people posting regularly about mental health who utterly tortured teachers as teenagers. 

There's no "I" in Best Teacher Meltdowns.

[BFTD]

One of the woodwork teachers would regularly tell meeker kids who'd displeased him to come back at the end of the day. That meant they were getting a battering. Always the quieter, smaller kids.

Perhaps that's too calculated to count as a meltdown. I never saw him lose his temper.

[Forest_Fifer]

My Higher Chemistry teacher was Pete Storey, a good guy. He'd come from industry into teaching and couldn't believe how outdated our syllabus was, often stopping half way through dictation to say something like "Christ, this was disproved 20 years ago". He was also my rugby coach so we got on well. One time after I set up cheek to him, he threw the blackboard rubber at my head which hurt like f**k. Without thinking, I threw it back at him. I missed but he roared and came flying across the class at me, picking up a window pole like a spear. I started running and he swung the pole at my head - taking out an entire worktop of pyrex beakers and test tubes. The head of department came charging in, took one look and ordered Pete to his office.  He got his own back next time I was in. During dictation, he was wandering around the class as we were taking notes, just droning on as usual. I hardly noticed him behind me until he got me with a kidney punch, a beauty that threw me off the stool and had me rolling on the floor in agony.  "Tut tut, shouldn't swing on stools or get teachers in trouble eh?".

OK, I know that reads like assault but it wasn't meant in a bad way. It was just rough and tumble carried over from rugby training.

 

Mike Marshall of East Fife was my PE teacher. He gave me the tawse because I laughed after he got a ball in the face during five a sides, which seemed a bit heavy handed. 

Just found out from East Fife twitter that Mike Marshall has died.

 

[Moomintroll]

On 29/04/2020 at 21:58, BigFatTabbyDave said:

One of the woodwork teachers would regularly tell meeker kids who'd displeased him to come back at the end of the day. That meant they were getting a battering. Always the quieter, smaller kids.

Perhaps that's too calculated to count as a meltdown. I never saw him lose his temper.

I think that needs to be reported to the Police, that is either Paedophile behaviour or unwarranted physical violence, both should result in the bullying c**t getting his collar felt & his reputation destroyed.

[Newbornbairn]

7 hours ago, Forest_Fifer said:

Just found out from East Fife twitter that Mike Marshall has died.

 

Shame. He was a nice guy (when he wasn't belting me). I remember him saying footballers weren't particularly fit, which he was in a good position to know. 

[BFTD]

3 hours ago, Perkin Flump said:

I think that needs to be reported to the Police, that is either Paedophile behaviour or unwarranted physical violence, both should result in the bullying c**t getting his collar felt & his reputation destroyed.

That was about thirty years ago. I'm guessing he's dead by now.

That kind of behaviour wasn't exactly uncommon. We had a PE teacher who was quick with his fists as well. I don't know about now, but it seemed like there were a number of folk in teaching who absolutely detested kids.

[Moomintroll]

3 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

That was about thirty years ago. I'm guessing he's dead by now.

That kind of behaviour wasn't exactly uncommon. We had a PE teacher who was quick with his fists as well. I don't know about now, but it seemed like there were a number of folk in teaching who absolutely detested kids.

I was out and about back then too BFTB, that guy sounds way more sinister than the mental teachers I had to deal with. I spoke to the worst of them a few years after I left & they were generally sound guys who were just trying to keep the stupid but saveable ones on an even keel, that Teacher just sounds like a wrong 'un.