Best teacher meltdowns

[Miguel Sanchez]

43 minutes ago, Ron Aldo said:

I won't name him as he's a complete nut job as well as a Hearts fan 

That certainly narrows it down.

[mathematics]

19 hours ago, RH33 said:

Only if you do the straight Primary degree. For secondary you do you’re normal degree then post grad. You can do primary as a post grad too.

There are straight “teacher of X” degrees for secondary teachers.

[RH33]

Just now, mathematics said:

There are straight “teacher of X” degrees for secondary teachers.

Apologies!

[Newbornbairn]

My Higher Chemistry teacher was Pete Storey, a good guy. He'd come from industry into teaching and couldn't believe how outdated our syllabus was, often stopping half way through dictation to say something like "Christ, this was disproved 20 years ago". He was also my rugby coach so we got on well. One time after I set up cheek to him, he threw the blackboard rubber at my head which hurt like f**k. Without thinking, I threw it back at him. I missed but he roared and came flying across the class at me, picking up a window pole like a spear. I started running and he swung the pole at my head - taking out an entire worktop of pyrex beakers and test tubes. The head of department came charging in, took one look and ordered Pete to his office.  He got his own back next time I was in. During dictation, he was wandering around the class as we were taking notes, just droning on as usual. I hardly noticed him behind me until he got me with a kidney punch, a beauty that threw me off the stool and had me rolling on the floor in agony.  "Tut tut, shouldn't swing on stools or get teachers in trouble eh?".

OK, I know that reads like assault but it wasn't meant in a bad way. It was just rough and tumble carried over from rugby training.

 

Mike Marshall of East Fife was my PE teacher. He gave me the tawse because I laughed after he got a ball in the face during five a sides, which seemed a bit heavy handed. 

[Monkey Tennis]

7 hours ago, Carl Cort's Hamstring said:

Partly that, you have to learn not to take it personally, also remember that even on a bad day the vast majority of the kids still tend to behave well.

The main thing was chaging how I approached the start of the year with a new class. Be incredibly strict (but fair) and incredibly pedantic about absolutely everything for the first month or so - eg if I ask the kids to leave 2 squares before drawing a margin in their maths books and someone leaves 1 or 3, then they have to start again. Once you've set the boundaries and the kids understand that you mean them, you can start to relax a little and most classes begin manage themselves to some extent. If you're too permissive at the start though it's almost impossible to fix the relationship by cracking down later. That's when the meltdowns happen.

I think the worst thing a young, starting out teacher can do, is attempt to be extremely strict from the outset.

Not many have the force of personality to carry that off at that stage.  Appearing human sounds like a better bet to me.

[DA Baracus]

4 hours ago, NewBornBairn said:

My Higher Chemistry teacher was Pete Storey, a good guy. He'd come from industry into teaching and couldn't believe how outdated our syllabus was, often stopping half way through dictation to say something like "Christ, this was disproved 20 years ago". He was also my rugby coach so we got on well. One time after I set up cheek to him, he threw the blackboard rubber at my head which hurt like f**k. Without thinking, I threw it back at him. I missed but he roared and came flying across the class at me, picking up a window pole like a spear. I started running and he swung the pole at my head - taking out an entire worktop of pyrex beakers and test tubes. The head of department came charging in, took one look and ordered Pete to his office.  He got his own back next time I was in. During dictation, he was wandering around the class as we were taking notes, just droning on as usual. I hardly noticed him behind me until he got me with a kidney punch, a beauty that threw me off the stool and had me rolling on the floor in agony.  "Tut tut, shouldn't swing on stools or get teachers in trouble eh?".

OK, I know that reads like assault but it wasn't meant in a bad way. It was just rough and tumble carried over from rugby training.

 

Mike Marshall of East Fife was my PE teacher. He gave me the tawse because I laughed after he got a ball in the face during five a sides, which seemed a bit heavy handed. 

Unless this is a whoosh, it doesn't just sound like assault, it is assault and should have seen the c**t in jail and sans job.

[Raidernation]

Nope, I was a Maths teacher.

[D.A.F.C]

 

[The Golden God]

3 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

 

Would like to see the aftermath of that, he seemed to handle it quite well.

[Newbornbairn]

8 hours ago, DA Baracus said:

Unless this is a whoosh, it doesn't just sound like assault, it is assault and should have seen the c**t in jail and sans job.

Nah, it sounds worse than it was. 

 

We also had a maths teacher who perved on the lassies. He'd stand behind them  stroking their necks and massaging their shoulders or get them to come and sit beside him and he'd rest his hand on their legs. Good guy though because he let me bring a tv in for the class to watch the Israel v Scotland world cup game in 1981.

[DA Baracus]

47 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said:

Nah, it sounds worse than it was. 

 

We also had a maths teacher who perved on the lassies. He'd stand behind them  stroking their necks and massaging their shoulders or get them to come and sit beside him and he'd rest his hand on their legs. Good guy though because he let me bring a tv in for the class to watch the Israel v Scotland world cup game in 1981.

This is a film or TV show, isn't it?

[Newbornbairn]

3 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

This is a film or TV show, isn't it?

Nope. Just a Methil school

[ScottR96]

On 21/04/2020 at 22:36, Karpaty Lviv said:

American RE teacher Ms Quinn when a bible fell from a bookshelf; “Oh my god, the word of god is on the floor!”  (Not that funny reading it back but you had to have been there).

She also made reference to fanny, from memory her outburst was “Who wipes your fanny in the morning?!” when giving someone into trouble. She was new as I imagine saying that to a bunch of 1st years in a Cumbernauld high school would stick in the mind. She sadly passed away a few years later. She was a lovely woman. 

You’re getting yer RE teachers mixed up. Quinn was a wee Scottish woman. She was quite old school but a great laugh, wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of her, though. 

Shamefully can’t remember the American one’s name. She was friends with my Gran, who worked in the reception. I know her first name but can’t remember her surname. She’s no dead either, I’m fairly certain she was at my Grans funeral in September . 

Edited April 23, 2020 by ScottR96

[EH75]

Not so much meltdown related but there was a teacher who got done for trying to get girls to send him naked pictures via Facebook. He used the classic "I was hacked" excuse which surprisingly didn't wash with the authorities and he was promptly struck off. 

Another bloke got done for making alleged suggestive comments to various girls. Whilst this wasn't an enormous surprise I was a bit shocked to read that he hung himself after being found guilty. 

[Monkey Tennis]

1 hour ago, MixuFixit said:

 

 

Are you kidding that's the school equivalent of a gazelle twisting it's ankle in front of a bunch of hyenas.

 

Nah, that's a load of rubbish.  The "don't smile until Christmas" idea has long been discredited.

Trying to lay down the law from a position of weakness is rarely a sound approach.

[JMDP]

I was fortunate that I had already had a career of sorts in communication/media before getting into teaching at 26 so I was well versed in dealing with c***s. 

I mentor new teachers as part of my job and run workshops on behaviour management - it can be daunting and difficult for new teachers and confidence is definitely important. The first strategy though is to teach engaging lessons tbh. After that, clarity and consistency is important as well. I guess I was lucky that I found that side of teaching fairly easy at the start.

I also spent a year as a TA in a school for kids with Emotional and Behavioural issues before qualifying which was invaluable. My first two schools were in proper rough areas of London and everything else seems easy in comparison tbh.  

When I went to school, it seemed like there were teachers having absolute headsgone meltdowns every day. Mental looking back on just how frequent it was. Also funny to see on facebook now many people posting regularly about mental health who utterly tortured teachers as teenagers. 

Edited April 23, 2020 by JMDP

[deej]

17 hours ago, NewBornBairn said:

My Higher Chemistry teacher was Pete Storey, a good guy. He'd come from industry into teaching and couldn't believe how outdated our syllabus was, often stopping half way through dictation to say something like "Christ, this was disproved 20 years ago". He was also my rugby coach so we got on well. One time after I set up cheek to him, he threw the blackboard rubber at my head which hurt like f**k. Without thinking, I threw it back at him. I missed but he roared and came flying across the class at me, picking up a window pole like a spear. I started running and he swung the pole at my head - taking out an entire worktop of pyrex beakers and test tubes. The head of department came charging in, took one look and ordered Pete to his office.  He got his own back next time I was in. During dictation, he was wandering around the class as we were taking notes, just droning on as usual. I hardly noticed him behind me until he got me with a kidney punch, a beauty that threw me off the stool and had me rolling on the floor in agony.  "Tut tut, shouldn't swing on stools or get teachers in trouble eh?".

This some kind of rugby phrasing?

[Forest_Fifer]

My Higher Chemistry teacher was Pete Storey, a good guy. He'd come from industry into teaching and couldn't believe how outdated our syllabus was, often stopping half way through dictation to say something like "Christ, this was disproved 20 years ago". He was also my rugby coach so we got on well. One time after I set up cheek to him, he threw the blackboard rubber at my head which hurt like f**k. Without thinking, I threw it back at him. I missed but he roared and came flying across the class at me, picking up a window pole like a spear. I started running and he swung the pole at my head - taking out an entire worktop of pyrex beakers and test tubes. The head of department came charging in, took one look and ordered Pete to his office.  He got his own back next time I was in. During dictation, he was wandering around the class as we were taking notes, just droning on as usual. I hardly noticed him behind me until he got me with a kidney punch, a beauty that threw me off the stool and had me rolling on the floor in agony.  "Tut tut, shouldn't swing on stools or get teachers in trouble eh?".
OK, I know that reads like assault but it wasn't meant in a bad way. It was just rough and tumble carried over from rugby training.
 
Mike Marshall of East Fife was my PE teacher. He gave me the tawse because I laughed after he got a ball in the face during five a sides, which seemed a bit heavy handed. 

What school did you go to? Mike Marshall worked at Kirkland High when I was there.

[Forest_Fifer]

Nah, it sounds worse than it was. 

 

We also had a maths teacher who perved on the lassies. He'd stand behind them  stroking their necks and massaging their shoulders or get them to come and sit beside him and he'd rest his hand on their legs. Good guy though because he let me bring a tv in for the class to watch the Israel v Scotland world cup game in 1981.

Hang on, you were definitely at Kirkland in the late 70s early 80s because I remember him, not his name though. If its who I think, pretty sure he also had booze in the little office/store behind the blackboard.

 

[RandomGuy.]

I had an English teacher jump off the Forth Road Bridge. Been sleeping with a lassie at the school and seemingly got found out. One of those literal "heads gone" situations.

A less literal, and more metaphorical, one was a substitute French teacher who became permanent. She was called Miss Stokes, looked like Gollum, and there was constantly a wee bag she kept on top of the blackboard (thinking back she probably had no idea it was there). About 4 months of making jokes behind her back about her being Smeagol Stokes and it being her ring seemed to get to her as she vanished for a few weeks due to stress.

She returned around exam time, done a mock speaking test in class, only for us all to be so horrendous at it (when asked to say "I own a house" in French, my mate replied with "My house is a chicken" (aye we checked after)) she stormed out before the lesson even ended and never returned as far as I know.