wellinwigan Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 17 minutes ago, Aim Here said: While the post is a severe embarrassment to Motherwell fans everywhere, except the other closet-*** basket cases, this couplet reminded me of one of the more famous sons of Scottish fitba' I feel like yer man missed a trick by not carrying on in the idiom -- You will not be able to stay at home, jambo. You will not be able to plug in, tune in and sit down, You will not be able to watch it on your sofa or on the TV screen at the Athletic Arms Because the relegation will not be televised The relegation will not be brought to you by Sky Sports In 2 legs with commercial interruption The relegation will not show you footage of Daniel Stendel wearing ski googles and climbing a rope ladder to demonstrate the latest in Central European training techniques The relegation will not be televised The relegation will not be brought to you by Premier Sports and will not star McCoist and Sutton or Mikey Stewart and Thommo The relegation will not give Hearts fans sex appeal The relegation will not get rid of the spots The relegation will not make them look five stone lighter, because the relegation will not be televised, brother There will be no pictures of Jonathan Watson dressed as Ann Budge making you question your sexuality on Hogmanay Or Joel Sked simpering on a couch for sixty minutes The BBC will not predict the loser twenty minutes from full time or the management team's resignation date The relegation will not be televised There will be no pictures of Christophe Berra scoring own goals in the action replay There will be no pictures of Christophe Berra scoring own goals in the action replay There will be no pictures of Christophe Berra scoring own goals in the action replay There will be no pictures of Joel Pereira being run out of Gorgie by a pitchforked mob There will be no slow motion or still life of Alex Salmond strolling into Tynecastle with a maroon tie and cufflinks that he had been saving for just the right occasion Albert Kidd, 5-1, and John Robertson will no longer be so damned relevant and Jambos will not care if Hibs gets a slot in the Europa League because Hearts Fans will be in the stands throwing their scarves onto the pitch There will be no highlights on the Sportscene late night special and no pictures of fans invading the pitch in a freezing May afternoon in Inverness The theme song will not be written by Dougie McLean or Eddi Reader, nor sung by Hector Nicol, Wattie Buchan, Frightened Rabbit, or Mark E Smith. The relegation will not be televised The relegation will not be right back after a short profile about Craig Halkett, Craig Levein or Craig Fowler You will not have to worry about the round trip to Dingwall, the stewards at Parkhead or the Union Bears at Tynecastle The relegation will not get better with time The relegation will not be a good thing in the long run The relegation WILL put you in the championship The relegation will not be televised WILL not be televised, WILL NOT BE TELEVISED The relegation will not be a re-run, The relegation will be live. Eh? Whit the fucks goin on 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RawB93 Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 Few folk showing themselves up as mugs for not getting a Gil Scott Heron reference tbh 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
falkirkthebigclub Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 1 minute ago, RawB93 said: Few folk showing themselves up as mugs for not getting a Gil Scott Heron reference tbh Absolute genius by @Aim Here on several levels, not least the 'big team' Easter egg. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IggyStooge Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imposs1904 Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 5 hours ago, ropy said: I think I read the post differently to others Same here. I'm confused. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miguel Sanchez Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 2 hours ago, RawB93 said: Few folk showing themselves up as mugs for not getting a Gil Scott Heron reference tbh I am 100% certain that is not the issue people are having with that post. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pet Jeden Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Aim Here said: While the post is a severe embarrassment to Motherwell fans everywhere, except the other closet-*** basket cases, this couplet reminded me of one of the more famous sons of Scottish fitba' I feel like yer man missed a trick by not carrying on in the idiom -- You will not be able to stay at home, jambo. You will not be able to plug in, tune in and sit down, You will not be able to watch it on your sofa or on the TV screen at the Athletic Arms Because the relegation will not be televised The relegation will not be brought to you by Sky Sports In 2 legs with commercial interruption The relegation will not show you footage of Daniel Stendel wearing ski googles and climbing a rope ladder to demonstrate the latest in Central European training techniques The relegation will not be televised The relegation will not be brought to you by Premier Sports and will not star McCoist and Sutton or Mikey Stewart and Thommo The relegation will not give Hearts fans sex appeal The relegation will not get rid of the spots The relegation will not make them look five stone lighter, because the relegation will not be televised, brother There will be no pictures of Jonathan Watson dressed as Ann Budge making you question your sexuality on Hogmanay Or Joel Sked simpering on a couch for sixty minutes The BBC will not predict the loser twenty minutes from full time or the management team's resignation date The relegation will not be televised There will be no pictures of Christophe Berra scoring own goals in the action replay There will be no pictures of Christophe Berra scoring own goals in the action replay There will be no pictures of Christophe Berra scoring own goals in the action replay There will be no pictures of Joel Pereira being run out of Gorgie by a pitchforked mob There will be no slow motion or still life of Alex Salmond strolling into Tynecastle with a maroon tie and cufflinks that he had been saving for just the right occasion Albert Kidd, 5-1, and John Robertson will no longer be so damned relevant and Jambos will not care if Hibs gets a slot in the Europa League because Hearts Fans will be in the stands throwing their scarves onto the pitch There will be no highlights on the Sportscene late night special and no pictures of fans invading the pitch in a freezing May afternoon in Inverness The theme song will not be written by Dougie McLean or Eddi Reader, nor sung by Hector Nicol, Wattie Buchan, Frightened Rabbit, or Mark E Smith. The relegation will not be televised The relegation will not be right back after a short profile about Craig Halkett, Craig Levein or Craig Fowler You will not have to worry about the round trip to Dingwall, the stewards at Parkhead or the Union Bears at Tynecastle The relegation will not get better with time The relegation will not be a good thing in the long run The relegation WILL put you in the championship The relegation will not be televised WILL not be televised, WILL NOT BE TELEVISED The relegation will not be a re-run, The relegation will be live. Not saying that was long - but for an encore, why not rework the whole of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner into an amusing ditty and we'll see you again in August. In the meantime, the rest of us can get on with "yous are shite" type posts. Edited March 1, 2020 by Pet Jeden 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Howlin Wilf Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 Was fortunate enough to see Gil Scott Heron at Glastonbury 1995, his dad signed for Third Lanark and played a couple of games for some other less illustrious Scottish mob. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Tennis Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 54 minutes ago, Pet Jeden said: Not saying that was long - but for an encore, why not rework the whole of the Rime of the Ancient Mariner into an amusing ditty and we'll see you again in August. It could be about a hapless goalkeeper who only "stoppeth one of three". 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 If the OP is a Motherwell fan then I’m a hot milf in your local area. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tamthebam Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 6 hours ago, Snafu said: Hearts won't be relegated due to the frightfest over the coronavirus as all games which have the potential to bring in crowds of more than 1,000 will be cancelled from about end of March. Edinburgh City will be declared Scottish Champions by default as they will be the highest club to complete their games. Suits me. Bring the Champions League to Ainslie Park (as long as we don't have to play Gonad's Quay Cluggers ever again...) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snifter Pee Rot Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 In fairness it's been years since a deed was considered a Gorgie treat. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Navallion Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 Perfect way to end the weekend with this masterpiece of a thread 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LincolnHearts Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 Cracking thread, will read again. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suspect Device Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) A couple of things Aimhere has too much spare time. Even though I appreciate the effort put in and classic tune, I have to be the pedant who points out that the relegation will be televised. Either the last games the season of the playoff. Still deserved a greenie. Edited March 2, 2020 by Suspect Device 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craigkillie Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 A couple of things Aimhere has too much spare time. Even though I appreciate the effort put in and classic tune, I have to be the pedant who points out that the relegation will be televised. Either the last games the season of the playoff. Still deserved a greenie. The last games of the season aren't always televised - it varies from season to season. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deky Posted March 13, 2020 Author Share Posted March 13, 2020 Well a certainly didnae expect the SFA to instigate a world wide pandemic just to make sure Hearts went down. That'll teach they Jambos for denying those who run Scottish fitba their bigotfest cup final. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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