Archie Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 On 12/02/2020 at 13:03, pozbaird said: Wasn’t at work, but at high school, and 100% true. The woodwork department at my high school had taken delivery of a new lathe machine (showing my age here), and the ‘jannies’ had left the cardboard and polystyrene packaging lying outside as they assembled the new piece of kit inside. Four of us were taking great delight at break time in tearing off chunks of polystyrene and lobbing them towards first year kids, who, seeing a lump of something fly towards them, shat themselves before realising it was only polystyrene. (Oh, the jolly japesters that we were). Anyway, one of our group went for a pish. As he wandered back from the lavvies towards us, my mate John Ferguson looked down, saw a half brick lying on the ground, and, with a loud shout of ‘Haw! Catch!’ towards our returning pal, proceeded to lob the brick up in the air. Life went into slow motion. David Berry, the ‘returning from lavvies guy’ instantly thought ‘polystyrene’, leapt up in the air, and in a Joe Jordan fashion, headered the half brick, smack on the forehead. Blood and snotters everywhere, Berry writhing in agony on the deck, screaming ‘you basturts!’.... while we were hauled off for ‘six of it’ from Mr. Steele... who unfortunately, could really ‘draw it’. Aye, life in the 1970s was different! Cheers Chigsy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 16 hours ago, Bairnardo said: 23 hours ago, HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows said: To be fair, I've had bigger shits than a £4 pub dildo. Were any of those bigger shits ever made solid and rammed back in the way they came out? Maybe. Im a heavy sleeper. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19QOS19 Posted February 16, 2020 Share Posted February 16, 2020 I knew a sports team who were on a night out once. one of the guys came dressed as a "sexy secretary", ie in drag. He had a handbag with lipsitck etc in it and he also included one of those vibrators that you can buy in pub toilets. When they were all drunk, a few of the guys "pranked him" by taking the vibrator, holding him over the bar and shoving it up his arse. I was told this as a big laugh by the people involved, it's absolutley horrifying. Aapparently the guy was pretty pissed off but they are all still mates and play for the same team, so to speak. Amazingly, it wasn't a rugby team. Nothing funnier than good old fashioned sexual assault tbf... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skerla Posted February 17, 2020 Share Posted February 17, 2020 16 hours ago, 19QOS19 said: On 14/02/2020 at 09:40, ICTChris said: I knew a sports team who were on a night out once. one of the guys came dressed as a "sexy secretary", ie in drag. He had a handbag with lipsitck etc in it and he also included one of those vibrators that you can buy in pub toilets. When they were all drunk, a few of the guys "pranked him" by taking the vibrator, holding him over the bar and shoving it up his arse. I was told this as a big laugh by the people involved, it's absolutley horrifying. Aapparently the guy was pretty pissed off but they are all still mates and play for the same team, so to speak. Amazingly, it wasn't a rugby team. Nothing funnier than good old fashioned sexual assault tbf... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottsdad Posted January 25, 2023 Share Posted January 25, 2023 I once shared an office with a French girl who was very highly strung. She was obsessed with people touching stuff on her desk. So, naturally, every day I (and the other couple of people in the office) would come in in the morning and move the keyboard, mouse, monitor and so on. Just a little, but she always knew her stuff had been messed with. She complained to our boss. He frankly was the worst one for winding her up. At home he had a kids desk, like the old primary school ones with the lid that lifts up. He had planned one day to swap her desk for this one but couldn't think where to put her normal one, so settled for the chair. She came in and her office chair had been replaced by a little wooden one that was made for 5 year old kids. Meltdown. Utter meltdown, far beyond what was called for. The boss brought her chair through (claiming to have found it in a cupboard) and she settled down. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Aldo Posted January 25, 2023 Share Posted January 25, 2023 I no longer work in an office (thank f**k) but winding folk up would get me through the day. I worked with a Killie fan who wasn't on social media or anything like that. When Steve Clarke left I found a site where you could make fake Tweets up. I did one in the morning which looked like it was from BBC sport's Twitter suggesting Jim Jefferies was in talks to return as manager. I let him stew over that for a while then made a further Tweet in the afternoon from Killie's "official" Twitter account confirming that they were delighted to announce Jim Jefferies as their new manager. This GIF is a fair representation of his reaction - 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thistledo Posted January 25, 2023 Share Posted January 25, 2023 (edited) Used to work in an office where our side of the office had this solitary cubicle for the males upstairs, was actually a nightmare when the office started to get busier as more companies rented the space, office filled with guys wandering around with a pained look on their face trying to find somewhere to shite, it was horrible, all midweek curry nights cancelled. Anyway, so this cubicle was like a bricked up thing with a door, no natural light and then urinals in the main bog, but you could control the light to the shitter from the outside and not the inside(note days before good phones with torches). There was a lad in my team that basically went for his post lunchtime shite at the same time every day, so every day I'd jump up just a little bit after and turned the cubicle light off, could just hear him shouting "fucksakes man!" eventually he worked out it was me and was delighted one day another team mate informed him I was off for a shite. He ran up, turned light out and went for a piss chuckling away to himself waiting for me. Eventually one of the bosses came out, saw him laughing and said "Colin... Did you turn the cubicle light off on me?" he came back to the office bright red to see me sitting there and he's like "you were supposed to be dain a shite!" Utterly baffled and then pissing myself when he explained what happened. The boss saw the funny side fortunately. Edited January 25, 2023 by thistledo 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted January 26, 2023 Share Posted January 26, 2023 20 hours ago, scottsdad said: I once shared an office with a French girl who was very highly strung. Viola? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.