Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 12, 2020 Share Posted February 12, 2020 Just now, tamthebam said: "This person phoned for you- here's the number. Ask for Mabawza Ritchie...." A pal of mine got a job as a dental nurse. On her first day she was sent out to the waiting room to get the next patient. ”Mr Singh. Is there is a Mr Singh. Jiswante Singh? Jiswante Singh?” 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 I was explaining different sealing materials to a couple of apprentice's I had, when they weren't looking I picked my nose and handed to them asking if they thought it was a type of rubber or a type of plastic. After a few minutes of passing it between them, squishing it and rolling it about their hands, they asked what it was. I informed them that it was a bogey and the look on their faces of sheer horror was just priceless. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philpy Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Similar to Staggy's story, a guy I worked with wore this leather Indian Jones style hat to work, he could be at best described as eccentric and at worst, just an oddball. Someone hid his hat one day and it was funny at first, the guy laughed, then he got quite angry, to the point of shaking when no one returned it then had a panic attack and had to breath into someone's paper Burger King bag. Still pretty funny tbh. In the same office during Movember, around 8 guys grew tashs and raised money as a team, the guy who organised it all took his own very seriously and actually dyed it black (he was ginger). At the end of November he put out an email to the department asking people to vote for best tash, clearly thinking he was going to win it. Myself and some of the other #ladz convinced everyone to vote for the 18 year old boy who barely managed to grow some blonde bumfluff in a month. The 18 year old won by a landslide, ginger lad finished 3rd and had a meltdown. I like the old classics though, changing the mouse speed, sending emails to other people, turning the screen upside down etc"I don't like jelly, I don't trust the way it moves" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Guy at my mate's work got sent for skirting board ladders. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 2 hours ago, Dee Man said: Guy at my mate's work got sent for skirting board ladders. Bairnardo? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbornbairn Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Theatre is a good place for pranks. At Perth Theatre one year during panto season, there was an ongoing disagreement between one of the stage crew and an actor that had become quite bitter - they couldn't stand each other. We had all kinds of props used in the show, including a polystyrene stage weight painted up to look like the real thing but weighing next to nothing instead of 25lbs. Anyway, the stagehand waited in the flies (about 20 feet above the stage) for his moment. During the interval, with the curtain down there were loads of folk on stage setting things up, including this actor when there was a shout "Haw John - catch!". The actor looked up to see the stagehand throwing a stage weight straight at his head. He froze on the spot - as the prop weight slowly floated past him. Cue much laughter until we realised he'd actually pissed himself and the mood changed. All the sympathy went to the actor and the stagehand was fired. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 17 minutes ago, oaksoft said: I would set aside my "lover not a fighter" philosophy and beat the shit out of you if you pulled a stunt like that with me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post the snudge Posted February 13, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted February 13, 2020 I worked in a hotel and there was a deaf housekeeper. One day she was hoovering the corridors. One of the maintainance guys switched off the thing at the plug. She obviously couldn't hear the hoover and continued on her way. Guests were looking a bit perplexed. 20 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 32 minutes ago, oaksoft said: I would set aside my "lover not a fighter" philosophy and beat the shit out of you if you pulled a stunt like that with me. You are bullshitting anyway. Sure you would. Not bullshit, I never bullshit. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 My old work (Prudential) tried to prank me on my last day by getting me to phone a company about their pension scheme and speak to a Chris Packet. The company they tried to get me to phone was Golden Wonder. I could see it was a prank all along but played along with it so when I got through to someone (I didn't ask for Chris Packet) I told them that due to some bad investments their pension fund had fallen by 63% over the previous year and gave out a couple of corporate numbers for them to call. That was fun 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnightswoodBear Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 10 minutes ago, the snudge said: I worked in a hotel and there was a deaf housekeeper. One day she was hoovering the corridors. One of the maintainance guys switched off the thing at the plug. She obviously couldn't hear the hoover and continued on her way. Guests were looking a bit perplexed. Being fucking appalling to people at work thread for this. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 4 minutes ago, Gaz said: My old work (Prudential) tried to prank me on my last day by getting me to phone a company about their pension scheme and speak to a Chris Packet. The company they tried to get me to phone was Golden Wonder. I could see it was a prank all along but played along with it so when I got through to someone (I didn't ask for Chris Packet) I told them that due to some bad investments their pension fund had fallen by 63% over the previous year and gave out a couple of corporate numbers for them to call. That was fun A guy I worked with did that by spoofing an email address and sending it to a colleague we knew was applying for another job. He used th enumber for Edinburgh Zoo and said that he should ask for A. Lyon. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 22 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Sure you would. Not bullshit, I never bullshit. ^^^shiting it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 38 minutes ago, NewBornBairn said: Theatre is a good place for pranks. At Perth Theatre one year during panto season, there was an ongoing disagreement between one of the stage crew and an actor that had become quite bitter - they couldn't stand each other. We had all kinds of props used in the show, including a polystyrene stage weight painted up to look like the real thing but weighing next to nothing instead of 25lbs. Anyway, the stagehand waited in the flies (about 20 feet above the stage) for his moment. During the interval, with the curtain down there were loads of folk on stage setting things up, including this actor when there was a shout "Haw John - catch!". The actor looked up to see the stagehand throwing a stage weight straight at his head. He froze on the spot - as the prop weight slowly floated past him. Cue much laughter until we realised he'd actually pissed himself and the mood changed. All the sympathy went to the actor and the stagehand was fired. They were rigging up a variety show in a London theatre where the Chief Electrician and Master Carpenter had a running feud of pranks, and all the flying bars carrying black cloth had been dropped to stage level, so it was like a series of parallel black corridors, very dimly lit. The carpenter thought he heard the electrician walking behind the cloth next to him so grabbed through the cloth, grabbed him by the neck and lifted him in the air, and ran off. It was wee Ernie Wise. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hk blues Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 11 minutes ago, ICTChris said: A guy I worked with did that by spoofing an email address and sending it to a colleague we knew was applying for another job. He used th enumber for Edinburgh Zoo and said that he should ask for A. Lyon. C. Lyon would have been even better 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 11 minutes ago, ICTChris said: A guy I worked with did that by spoofing an email address and sending it to a colleague we knew was applying for another job. He used th enumber for Edinburgh Zoo and said that he should ask for A. Lyon. Did the same thing to my fruit and veg boss in Asda. He got called Ryan the Lion after that. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Shit in the sink 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnydun Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 11 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: ^^^shiting it. Oh fit Mozza! I am going to have difficulty sleeping at night knowing that someone who has no idea who or where I am, might attempt to beat the shit out of me if I passed them a bogey. Pray for johnnydun. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAFC. Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 (edited) If you wet brown paper towels, tear them in strips, then squish them together in the palms of your hands for about 10 seconds, the result is a realistic jobbie. We did this once in the guys toilets but sat the fake jobbies on the cistern and the pan. Boys were up from England delivering and setting up new equipment. They each went in the bogs for 2 seconds max and came out not saying a thing until one guy came out and shouted "Oi, lads, some cant has fackin' left some ponies in there!" Stuff that amuses you when your 18 I suppose. Edited February 13, 2020 by DAFC. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 6 minutes ago, johnnydun said: Oh fit Mozza! I am going to have difficulty sleeping at night knowing that someone who has no idea who or where I am, might attempt to beat the shit out of me if I passed them a bogey. Pray for johnnydun. Well maybe, if you hadn't posted the video of Mozza's own goal.. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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