pranks at work

[Adam]

32 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

Also, if someone out a dead seagull in my locker I’d be immediately reporting them to HR. Disgusting.

Grass.

[ICTChris]

When I worked in Inverness there was a guy in my team who was a bit odd, he was nice enough but just a little socially awkward. He had a few health problems as well that I think affected him socially. He used to eat his lunch in the toilets every day, someone said this was a legacy of having been bullied at school, very sad.

Once we had planned a night out in Inverness and while a few of us were waiting in what was then Laffertys on Academy street someone said “check this out”. The awkward guy was across the street and went into a furniture shop. One of the other guys in the team had told him that we were all meeting there and that his parents owned it. He phoned the guy when they weren’t there and the guy told him that he should ask the staff as we were all in the back ready to start the night out. So awkward guy asked the cashier in the furniture shop if she could let him into the back room for the party. He left very shortly afterwards and just stood outside.

In one of the few times in my life I’ve behaved in a way that I can look back on in pride, I said to the guy who’d done this that he should go over and bring awkward guy to the bar, explain it had been a joke and say sorry, and he did it. But fucking hell man, really cruel behaviour from adults for their own amusement.

[ICTChris]

Grass.

If I worked with you I’d put a dead seagull in my locker and say you did it.

[Adam]

5 minutes ago, ICTChris said:

 

If I worked with you I’d put a dead seagull in my locker and say you did it.

 

Wouldn't be seen dead working with a grass myself.

[ICTChris]

Wouldn't be seen dead working with a grass myself.

You wouldn’t know I was a grass until I’d pulled the old “dead seagull in my own locker trick”.

[Torpar]

Similar to Staggy's story, a guy I worked with wore this leather Indian Jones style hat to work, he could be at best described as eccentric and at worst, just an oddball. Someone hid his hat one day and it was funny at first, the guy laughed, then he got quite angry, to the point of shaking when no one returned it then had a panic attack and had to breath into someone's paper Burger King bag. Still pretty funny tbh.

In the same office during Movember, around 8 guys grew tashs and raised money as a team, the guy who organised it all took his own very seriously and actually dyed it black (he was ginger). At the end of November he put out an email to the department asking people to vote for best tash, clearly thinking he was going to win it. Myself and some of the other #ladz convinced everyone to vote for the 18 year old boy who barely managed to grow some blonde bumfluff  in a month. The 18 year old won by a landslide, ginger lad finished 3rd and had a meltdown. 

I like the old classics though, changing the mouse speed, sending emails to other people, turning the screen upside down etc

[HTG]

A few years back a young lad left my office which I think was a good move for all parties. On his departure, he popped a fish into the ceiling tiles above his desk before sauntering to get on with the rest of his life. Not a soul knew about it and the place became progressively smellier as days went by.  It was discovered eventually as the ceiling tile started to stain on the visible side. It wasn't really a prank as much as a GIRFUY. 

[tam the bud]

On the N/S in an engineering factory, 1 of the guys always used to sleep in an old metal cupboard during the meal break.

So it was decided to pack the bottom around the cupboard with old rags and paper.

Bet was to see how long it took him to appear once the rags were set alight and the smoke starting to fill the cupboard.

F me I never knew that this auld guy could move so fast and fair to say he wasn't a happy person  

An other time when this other guy was sleeping that someone wrote Killroy was here on his baldy head.

It was still on his head the next night   

[fuzzydunlop]

we had one backfire a bit.  Couple of years ago, there was a craze with a prank phone call app where if you put in a persons phone number it would ring that person with a realistic pre-recorded message.  I remembered these things from the 90s(usually listed at the back of the Daily Sport) but back then you had to get the person you wanted to prank to ring the number which itself took a bit of convincing and automatically gave the game away of who was involved. 

However the recent ones on the app, you give the app the persons number and the computer automatically calls the person you want to prank. 

Theres various 'themes' you can choose... but we went where someone phones your number accusing you of "stealing their wifi".  

The beauty of it is, as it calls the person it also  records the conversation and through the app you can play it back to your hearts content. 

We had this South African guy at work, old school bloke and only confirmed what the the Spitting Image song said.  He was our manager but sat in our department and due to his seniroity in age and experience of the job, felt he had to get involved in allsorts of stuff that he shouldnt have. He was also a grumpy old f*cker so prime for this type of thing.

Anyway,  we tried the prank on him when he was out the office as we knew we'd all burst out laughing if he was in the room. So he went outside for a smoke and set the wheels in motion.

Five minutes later he came in all red faced and stormed to his desk.  We were all gagging to listen to the playback, so few of us crowded round the phone at the next tea break......he starts off friendly enough "no I havent stole your wifi, wrong number" but as it goes on and the recorded message gets worse,  our work colleague snaps, adn without real warning starts shouting racist abuse at the recorded message, calling the recorded message allsorts of stuff.

So none of us could figure out how to confront him on it. We couldnt say "ha ha listen to this, we got you" and then have his racism broadcast across the office.  We also knew he'd probably try get us in trouble for wasting his time, especially if we called him out on his racism.  So we just left it it...and no one really spoke of it again...we did keept her ecording though but he left the company not long after.

not a very exciting story but there you go.

[D.A.F.C]

Engineer was scared of spiders so someone made a fake spider out of black string and roped it over the conduit perfectly so it could be lowered onto his head. It took about two days to plan and end result was old guy nearly keeling over in shock.
NB never reveal what you're scared of at work.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

Long stand, sky hooks, tartan paint, tin of elbow grease.

Etc.

[bennett]

Cat food pieces,  shrink wrap in the bogs, shrink wrapping cars/people etc.

 

[welshbairn]

10 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Long stand, sky hooks, tartan paint, tin of elbow grease.

Etc.

Got sent to stores for a long weight on my first offshore job. Storeman kindly told me to go and watch a film while he got it ready.. 

[Melanius Mullarkey]

11 minutes ago, bennett said:

Cat food pieces,

 

Not interested in your lunch, Benedict, what about some jokes.

[charon]

3 hours ago, The Moonster said:

My old PE teacher put a partially sighted boy in goals at school then proceeded to leather a penalty at him. The boy didn't see the ball at all, he just reacted to the bang of it hitting the wall about a foot from his head. The behaviour of an utter w****r.

Take it he moved to coach fitba in the USA ?

 

 

Personal tale, I worked on a fish farm once, so you took your lunch to sea.

One young fla took another boys sandwiches/crisps/fruit/flask etc, and put them on a plank of wood and pushed it off the pen group in a brisk wind.

 

Bye bye

 

[HeWhoWalksBehindTheRows]

3 hours ago, pozbaird said:

Wasn’t at work, but at high school, and 100% true. The woodwork department at my high school had taken delivery of a new lathe machine (showing my age here), and the ‘jannies’ had left the cardboard and polystyrene packaging lying outside as they assembled the new piece of kit inside. Four of us were taking great delight at break time in tearing off chunks of polystyrene and lobbing them towards first year kids, who, seeing a lump of something fly towards them, shat themselves before realising it was only polystyrene. (Oh, the jolly japesters that we were). Anyway, one of our group went for a pish. As he wandered back from the lavvies towards us, my mate John Ferguson looked down, saw a half brick lying on the ground, and, with a loud shout of ‘Haw! Catch!’ towards our returning pal, proceeded to lob the brick up in the air. Life went into slow motion. David Berry, the ‘returning from lavvies guy’ instantly thought ‘polystyrene’, leapt up in the air, and in a Joe Jordan fashion, headered the half brick, smack on the forehead. Blood and snotters everywhere, Berry writhing in agony on the deck, screaming ‘you basturts!’.... while we were hauled off for ‘six of it’ from Mr. Steele... who unfortunately, could really ‘draw it’. 
 

Aye, life in the 1970s was different!

Do we have to read this in black and white?

[Priti priti priti Patel]

3 hours ago, supermik said:

Old favourite on the building sites was to put all the leftover stuff after lunch in the canteen into somebody’s bag for them to unknowingly take home with them. Once even managed to get somebody to take a half brick home with them.

Did you leave the other half outside the bogs by some polystyrene and cardboard?

[bennett]

34 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Not interested in your lunch, Benedict, what about some jokes.

Dont have any.

[Brother Blades]

Cat food pieces
 

Nom Nom Nom thread for this pish!

[tamthebam]

5 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

Long stand, sky hooks, tartan paint, tin of elbow grease.

Etc.

"This person phoned for you- here's the number. Ask for Mabawza Ritchie...."