Killing Hitler part 1 - A P&B choose-your-own-adventure

[Richey Edwards]

The banging on your door was no dream. You squint at your alarm clock, which is displaying "3:01" in its red digits.

"WAKE UP" bellowed a voice that you recognise as your eccentric cousin Donovan. "I THINK I'VE DONE IT."

"What is this?" you groggily wonder to yourself.

The banging again. 

You drag yourself out of bed, carefully descending the stairs in the dark (you really need to replace that lightbulb), and open the door to see your cousin dressed in a grey Primark tracksuit.

"What have you done?"

"Time travel". Donovan replied as he pushed past you into your house.

You sigh. Donovan was unemployed and spent most of the time smoking joints and building random things in his shed. Last week he told you that he was building a time machine out of a broken Hotpoint Aquarius that he had found abandoned up the woods.

"But Donovan" you began to protest. "It's 3 in the morning, and I'm working at 9. Why did you come and tell me this now?"

"Get dressed, We're going to kill Hitler." Donovan cried.

"Kill Hitler?!?"

"Aye! In Vienna. In 1908."

What do you do? You have until 1300hrs on Sunday to decide...

Edited February 7, 2020 by The Gypsy King

[Dosser-fae-the-shire]

Have a w**k.

[Dee Man]

Kill Donovan to put him out his misery of having to live with such a stupid name, then go back to sleep. After a w**k. 

[Nutz_the_Squirrel]

Push a push pop

[Melanius Mullarkey]

I’d probably be getting up for a pish at that time anyway. 

[philpy]

What would Jesus do???

[charon]

Vienna in 1908?

 

Wasn't that where he cut about the Park the same time as Stalin and Freud?

[JamieThomas]

I preferred it when Ayr fans just said racist shit

[pawpar]

Ask Donovan what the hell he is doing wearing jobbycatchers from Primark.

[Miguel Sanchez]

 

[bennett]

34 minutes ago, charon said:

Vienna in 1908?

 

Wasn't that where he cut about the Park the same time as Stalin and Freud?

This means nothing to me, ohhhhh Vienna....

[carpetmonster]

Kill jester. KILL JESTER.

[charon]

11 minutes ago, bennett said:

This means nothing to me, ohhhhh Vienna....

 

 

My mistook , it was 1913, and Tito & Trotsky were also there 

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21859771

[Sergeant Wilson]

29 minutes ago, charon said:

 

 

My mistook , it was 1913, and Tito & Trotsky were also there 

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21859771

What about the rest of The Jacksons?

[Derry Alli]

4 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

What about the rest of The Jacksons?

[charon]

6 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said:

What about the rest of The Jacksons?

 

Hitler, Freud, Stalin, Totsky and Tito made Five.

 

Rocking Robin indeed.

 

*Assuming 'Robin' = '50 million deaths a'comin'' in Austrian dialect.

[19QOS19]

Certainly not murder a 9 year old to spend my life in solitary confinement in a horrible Austrian prison.

[Sergeant Wilson]

6 minutes ago, charon said:

 

Hitler, Freud, Stalin, Totsky and Tito made Five.

 

Rocking Robin indeed.

 

*Assuming 'Robin' = '50 million deaths a'comin'' in Austrian dialect.

Kill Hitler and Blame it on the Boogie.

[Dee Man]

3 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

Certainly not murder a 9 year old to spend my life in solitary confinement in a horrible Austrian prison.

Moral dilemma: If you were in that situation and you somehow knew that he was destined to kill millions, would you have killed a 9 year old Adolf?

[19QOS19]

Moral dilemma: If you were in that situation and you somehow knew that he was destined to kill millions, would you have killed a 9 year old Adolf?

No, I'm far far too selfish.