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Next Monday at 4pm*

Alastair Campbell explains the Dodgy Dossier.

* or thereabouts

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He said he decided to return to work on 12 April, 15 days after developing symptoms.

However, his eyesight had been affected by his illness and so he went for a short drive to see if he could drive safely – to the town, Barnard Castle.

He said they sat by the riverbank for 15 minutes, and they wished a passerby “happy easter” while returning to the car.

They spent some time in the woods on the way home as his child needed the toilet – he said they saw some people at the distance, but did not break any social distancing rules.

Quote

Cummings said he made the 246-mile journey to Durham without stopping to get petrol, but thinks he did stop to fill up on the way back.

“I’m 95% sure I stopped on the way back down to fill up with petrol, but I can’t be sure,” he said.

 

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Have they given a time for the daily briefing or just whenever they feel like it?

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I don't know what is the bigger shambles. That press conference or every single H_B post on this thread. 

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I take it Durham Police will have been watching this press conference.

Should be interesting how this pans out over the next few days.

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What were your favourite moments?
In ascending order, this is my top three:
3. When he decided to reveal that he'd been instructed to take questions in a very particular order.
2. When he said that he might have told Boris about his plans but neither of them can remember.
1. When he said that he drove to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight.
 

Yep it could only have been better if he said he was certain he’d not been to Barnard Castle because he’d been in Pizza Express in Woking at the time.

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rtOYlfI1KwkoanY_.jpg

"Well, maybe you should go also then Dominic because you couldn't see driving home the other night, because you don't even wear your glasses on TV incase you get slagged off. So why  don't you just stick to specsavers and I'll do the game."

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I work in a retailer in Edinburgh city centre. Today was like a normal day of summer. I still have a queue of groups of folk wanting bottles of wine to take to sit in the park. Absolutely fucking everyone has just jacked it.

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43 minutes ago, ICTJohnboy said:

 

That's good.

I can watch Pointless on catch-up now.

And then watch another pointless at 7 pm.

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Deep breath.

The guy who went on national TV and admitted that he drove 30 miles with his wife and child in the car to “test his eyesight” is the most senior advisor to the Prime Minister of the U.K.

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42 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

He was asked about it, and suddenly remembered refuelling on the way back down

"perhaps", I thought he said. Or some such word.

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9 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

 

Who the f**k says Happy Easter? He’s obviously a fucking nonce.

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6 minutes ago, The Real Saints said:

What were your favourite moments?

In ascending order, this is my top three:

3. When he decided to reveal that he'd been instructed to take questions in a very particular order.

2. When he said that he might have told Boris about his plans but neither of them can remember.

1. When he said that he drove to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight.

 

It would have been fantastic entertainment if it weren't so serious.

As well as your three I liked;

1 - boasting about his knowledge on pandemics and how he'd written on it just last it year, yet sitting with a death toll of 35k

2 - being absolutely stumped when asked for his message to new Tory voters in Durham

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1 minute ago, peasy23 said:

Screenshot_20200525-185401_Twitter.jpg

Cummings will be reading that and thinking “shit”.

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43 minutes ago, RiG said:

Another snivelling Tory shitebag...

538293563_Grimes2.PNG.6c896f57b17f07cd93e117c50b9169d1.PNG

You reckon wrong about this member of the public sitting at home under lockdown unable to hold his youngest grand daughter or hug the next one up. 

I tried to watch Cummings' statement with as open a mind as possible but after a couple of minutes thought to myself "entitled shitebaggery of the highest order". Gave up during the journalists' questions.

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5 minutes ago, Scary Bear said:

Who the f**k says Happy Easter? He’s obviously a fucking nonce.

What???

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If Barnard Castle don’t use this in their next marketing strategy then they’re cùnts.

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3 minutes ago, Angusfifer said:

What???

Oh f**k, it’s you again. Gimp.

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