pandarilla Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 If I owned a property on this street, it would be on Rightmove within half an hour of this monstrosity. Just horrific. I think it's pretty funny.I love that a few old dears are joining in as well. We need more shit like this in the world. -2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 43 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: How did you know? I can see it from here (your wardrobe). 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stellaboz Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 That video is exactly why we should relax the gun laws. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 1 minute ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: I can see it from here (your wardrobe). Ah, but I'm at work! Good guess though. Right calf. Looks like someone has slipped a hamburger under the skin. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Just now, Shandon Par said: Ah, but I'm at work! Good guess though. Right calf. Looks like someone has slipped a hamburger under the skin. Bit of tomato sauce and mustard on it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz FFC Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Are they for real using April fools Day to announce the Edinburgh festival is cancelled or trying to use a global pandemic for some humour? Either way someone needs sacked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 3 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said: Bit of tomato sauce and mustard on it. -1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 This looks like a rehash from some time ago. Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your TD, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Looks like we've now got more deaths than Italy at the same stage, hopefully I've just misread the graph. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Just now, cyderspaceman said: This looks like a rehash from some time ago. Due to the current financial situation caused by the Corona Virus and slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of SHIT they give our citizens. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your TD, who has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - Due to Corona Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 57 minutes ago, Henderson to deliver ..... said: Best thing about this Jerry Cole poster is not the boring, contrarian Brendan O'Neill cut and pastes or the links to dodgy anti vaxxer sites, but the (must reply to everything) 'I know you are, but what am I' patter when someone has a pop. Exactly what this thread needs imo. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alert Mongoose Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 25 minutes ago, Jacksgranda said: https://email.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/T/v40000017135bc6dd8c21b2b163e8081a5/0b0b96ddd51c48a00000021ef3a0bccf/0b0b96dd-d51c-48a0-9cdf-d5735104c484?__dU__=v0oQlZ2XmHtXiWefx_zBr6oSDOdDEyJMNBt1aaocywPHw=&__F__=v0fUYvjHMDjRPMSh3tviDHXIoXcPxvDgUUCCPvXMWoX_0JoZLAZABQF2mUwkccxHzcLleyq22Oi1ysX6_OBvJgWDXdMyMbS_mI80X3qPjUIqMrgp-BEWEFuaf2tuaat2o6ycwlNQeWuzxZFKiL6ahwfSj4HUMikEWdW6Jw2TMY344v0hLT9xZkcwGo2pVJqr-INL7r2rjaB_ZEbHZlrnqExYY3c0Y6Rjs-y5gq04yqXWpAVTccweycboEJH3lB8RQIlcYMx4_Q3YYCOSZihpQNkkhyoZY9emc504ludiqbA5ghFLdSd7n_WIzFEQ7OSVoeNC3eqcZOvm4egDDkKmXB4kRarYuOBa4NQfwGGYyz0Uo70nhY2UU_fmZmoJqDC2Y3fBTiDGGRxdry-nXERnaFjZfu11rD1W-XJxWS1AvOWSNl7PgIpJX9KsPv3QiiySU9Tdwaayo5z0wgX9olGydRnjIDcvazpTbuasaUlaZ7IAeymXMKu6mHaR1sDpEI24RX0ia788wA8_UhCmo5FZ3bWKRHXriobnTu Cheery read. This bit must be an April Fool; The council which owns the cemetery said it was carrying out “preparatory” work in the event of its own cemetery staff taking ill in the weeks ahead Dig your own grave son. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 This made me LOL. Probaly exists somewhere else on this site but wtf. fitbafun.mp4 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, cyderspaceman said: This made me LOL. Probaly exists somewhere else on this site but wtf. fitbafun.mp4 That seems to fit how England are dealing with this at the moment. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heedthebaa Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 30 minutes ago, ayrmad said: Up 563, time to buckle up. Starts at the weekend proper 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiegoDiego Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Italy making an arse of things, surprise, surprise. There's financial help available but you have to apply online. The lucky few who got through earlier today were directed to other people's accounts after logging in. The website's now getting over one hundred hits per second and is fucked. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effeffsee_the2nd Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Looks like we've now got more deaths than Italy at the same stage, hopefully I've just misread the graph. Todays death figures are pretty horrific tbh theres no way to dress that up . What i hope , if thats even the right word, is that altho terrible these numbers are not all that unexpected. Those dying today and this week wont have become infected yesterday so youv got to hope that the shutdown will start see cases slow in about a fortnights time at the latest. If Italy and spains don’t start tail off shortly it could be a sign that the Chinese not just downplayed but outright have lied through their teeth about the seriousness of this and in that case were fucked on so many levels I guess we’ll fimd out soon enough 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayrmad Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, heedthebaa said: Starts at the weekend proper I'm wondering if they'll come on telling us the infection rate is speeding up after today's figures. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fullerene Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 1 hour ago, Shandon Par said: How did you know? That's stupid. Why would you be claiming to have a tick bite if it was somebody else's leg? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 2 minutes ago, Fullerene said: That's stupid. Why would you be claiming to have a tick bite if it was somebody else's leg? I reckon he's bitten the tick's leg and playing the victim card. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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