Shandon Par Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 25 minutes ago, Ross. said: Sleep, greet, shite, repeat. That's pretty much my new regime in this new age of the virus. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Henry Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 That's pretty much my new regime in this new age of the virus. You could at least clean up after yourself though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Real Saints Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 4 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: You’re the 13th Best Poster In P&B History, 24th Most Influential Poster in P&B History, Best St Johnstone Poster 2012, 2013 & 2015, P&B's Got Talent Winner, Founder of Club DOSS I’m sure your relationship will last. On paper, these stats look incredibly impressive and they are undoubtedly a major turn-on for the ladies. In reality, I haven't achieved anything on P&B since 2015. The jury is out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 38 minutes ago, Sergeant Wilson said: I slept in an old drawer. Was the porridge in there too? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 35 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said: Eek I get that this at aimed at people refusing to engage in social distancing, but it's also unnecessary scaremongering for what is a very unlikely outcome. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 19 minutes ago, Granny Danger said: Didn’t copy it, but thought it best to be reasonable. Just said I wouldn’t use any hotel in their change and said their treatment of their staff was disgraceful, particularly at this time. I said it was disgusting and hoped their business went belly-up. Hard talking, me. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KillieCon Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Walked past Wetherspoons in Glasgow City centre just after lunchtime and it was rammed. Seems the lure of cheap booze is too much for the jaikies.Had to go to Debenhams to pick up something I ordered for mother's day. Plenty of hand soap if you are willing to pay over the odds for it. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zen Archer (Raconteur) Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 2 hours ago, KnightswoodBear said: I'm not wiping my arse with anything but Cushelle 3 ply True Aristocrats would have a flock of geese to hand where they could cleanse using the neck of the bird. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cyderspaceman Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 21 minutes ago, The Real Saints said: I currently live with my sister. She went ahead with her birthday party the day before yesterday, and now she is continually leaving the flat and going out for coffee with people. I am hiding in my room. I have planned a quick exit. My girlfriend will pick me up in her car and I will stay with her indefinitely. We have only been 'official' for a week, so this may be a serious test of the relationship. Out of the frying pan, into the fire. Pray for me. Unlimited shagging, tho'. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 13 minutes ago, The Real Saints said: On paper, these stats look incredibly impressive and they are undoubtedly a major turn-on for the ladies. In reality, I haven't achieved anything on P&B since 2015. The jury is out. TRS is Alex Salmond! Who knew? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 44 minutes ago, Tony Ferrino said: Eek Flowery, fanciful pish. Would make a decent short fiction piece at standard grade level though. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny Danger Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 18 minutes ago, Shandon Par said: That's been pretty much my regime all my life. FTFY 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 9 minutes ago, cyderspaceman said: Unlimited shagging, tho'. The new girlfriend may be a good ride too tho' 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamamafegan Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Anyone else absolutely sick of dickheads on social media saying shit like “omg so sad [emoji22]” every time an event/business they like is cancelled/closes? People are acting as if it’s a fucking surprise when their favourite wee cafe closes down or the village arts fair is cancelled - even though places are shutting down left right and centre and we’re being told to avoid social gatherings. Morons. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Sportsters in Falkirk heroically following government advice to minimise non-essential contact. After two last parties, right enough. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanius Mullarkey Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 1 hour ago, Granny Danger said: It’s an applicable term for anyone who doesn’t know the “President of Iceland and the pineapple pizza” scandal. The shop or the country? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dee Man Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 45 minutes ago, cyderspaceman said: There's a certain truth in this. The Spacewoman and I have upped our consumption over the last week without really trying. The hour of the apero starts at 6, we usually pass because we go to the bar after 7 most nights and have 2 or 3. Now we bust out the booze and nibbles about 5.45 EVERY night . Then don't fukcing stop except to eat. This virus is going to kill us. Once this wee bug thing blows over and just as the NHS is starting to recover they will be inundated with cases of fucked livers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thistle_do_nicely Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 9 minutes ago, djchapsticks said: Flowery, fanciful pish. Would make a decent short fiction piece at standard grade level though. The ending literally reads like something out of one of Frankie Boyle's books tbh "And then, you are flooded with an overwhelming sense of calm. You sense that you have reached the nadir of your struggle. The worst of the danger is over. With the viral attack beaten, your body’s immune system will pull back, and you’ll begin the slow, painstaking journey to full recovery. Some weeks from now, the doctors will remove the tube from your throat and wheel away the ventilator. Your appetite will come back, and the color will return to your cheeks, and on a summer morning you’ll step out into the fresh air and hail a cab for home. And later still, you’ll meet the girl who will become your wife, and you’ll have three children, two of whom will have children of their own, who will visit you in your nursing home outside Tampa. That’s what your mind is telling itself, anyway, as the last cells of your cerebral cortex burst in starburst waves, like the glowing algae in a midnight lagoon. In the isolation ward, your EKG goes to a steady tone. The doctors take away the ventilator and give it to a patient who arrived this morning. In the official records of the COVID-19 pandemic, you’ll be recorded as victim No. 592." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djchapsticks Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Thistle_do_nicely said: The ending literally reads like something out of one of Frankie Boyle's books tbh "And then, you are flooded with an overwhelming sense of calm. You sense that you have reached the nadir of your struggle. The worst of the danger is over. With the viral attack beaten, your body’s immune system will pull back, and you’ll begin the slow, painstaking journey to full recovery. Some weeks from now, the doctors will remove the tube from your throat and wheel away the ventilator. Your appetite will come back, and the color will return to your cheeks, and on a summer morning you’ll step out into the fresh air and hail a cab for home. And later still, you’ll meet the girl who will become your wife, and you’ll have three children, two of whom will have children of their own, who will visit you in your nursing home outside Tampa. That’s what your mind is telling itself, anyway, as the last cells of your cerebral cortex burst in starburst waves, like the glowing algae in a midnight lagoon. In the isolation ward, your EKG goes to a steady tone. The doctors take away the ventilator and give it to a patient who arrived this morning. In the official records of the COVID-19 pandemic, you’ll be recorded as victim No. 592." Exactly what I thought of - Frankie Boyle's New World Order closing monologues. I get it tries to serve as a wake up call to folk not already self isolating but it's purely a work of fiction. You'd be as well writing about going on a plane and it being hijacked by a terrorist and it plummeting to Earth. I understand it's a time that everyone is on edge but it's important to call out what is real and based in fact or actual evidence and what is shite. And this is a heaving pile of shite. No better than the c***s telling you that tanks are mobilising in London. Edited March 20, 2020 by djchapsticks 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 I really don't understand the mentality of "isolation isn't 100% effective, so why bother trying?" mentality. Crossing the road isn't 100% safe, but that doesn't mean you close your eyes and walk over a motorway. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.