sjc Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Just now, throbber said: Nobody at my work asked me if I was a sex offender but they still thought nothing of dumping a 14 year old on to me to entertain for a couple of days when he was on work experience. I could have ended up violating terms of my parole through no fault of my own. If the 14yo was within 50ft of you then I'm afraid you did violate the terms of your parole..... Go directly to jail, do not collect £200, Throbber. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Aldo Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I once had 2 job interviews on the same day and managed to get both jobs mixed up when I went for the first interview. Interviewer: "Tell me what you know about the role." Me: "Speaks about a job that i'm being interviewed later that day." Interviewer: "Nope that's not the job at all." 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ICTChris Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nsr Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 1 hour ago, Ron Aldo said: I once had 2 job interviews on the same day and managed to get both jobs mixed up when I went for the first interview. Interviewer: "Tell me what you know about the role." Me: "Speaks about a job that i'm being interviewed later that day." Interviewer: "Nope that's not the job at all." Was it good practice for the second one? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slacker Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 About 15 years ago I made the final interview stage for an apprenticeship at Hunterston B, after passing a skills test that whittled around 100 applicants down to about a dozen, and was doing brilliantly until I was asked the question: "What is electricity?" I'd love to hear my answer back to find out just what absolute shite I came up with. I spent about a minute cobbling together an answer before one of the interviewers said "good try. but it's actually..." while I kept repeating "well that's you fucked it" over and over again in my head. Got through a couple of other questions before the final one, said by the same guy with a helping smile, "so then, what is electricity?" It was at this point I wanted my mummy. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Ron Aldo said: I once had 2 job interviews on the same day and managed to get both jobs mixed up when I went for the first interview. Interviewer: "Tell me what you know about the role." Me: "Speaks about a job that i'm being interviewed later that day." Interviewer: "Nope that's not the job at all." At least you got a bit pf practice for the second one. ETA: Up yours @nsr Edited January 13, 2020 by Jacksgranda 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GordonD Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 22 hours ago, Miguel Sanchez said: I got a call from an agency once with a job in Stirling. "Can you drive?" Best answer to that is "Not for another seven months when I get my licence back." 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aim Here Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 52 minutes ago, Slacker said: About 15 years ago I made the final interview stage for an apprenticeship at Hunterston B, after passing a skills test that whittled around 100 applicants down to about a dozen, and was doing brilliantly until I was asked the question: "What is electricity?" I'd love to hear my answer back to find out just what absolute shite I came up with. I spent about a minute cobbling together an answer before one of the interviewers said "good try. but it's actually..." while I kept repeating "well that's you fucked it" over and over again in my head. Got through a couple of other questions before the final one, said by the same guy with a helping smile, "so then, what is electricity?" It was at this point I wanted my mummy. So what is electricity? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainspotter Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 2 hours ago, ICTChris said: Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors. Possibly before my time as I can't remember it, but this cartoon came straight to mind when I read that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I got to final stages for a graduate position with Scottish water 3 years ago. To get as far as interview stage I had to: 1 a Fill out the application form which included submitting cv, covering letter and 500 words or less as to why. I would fit the role and why I wanted to work for the company. 2 - Do a 45 minute long interview speaking to a webcam at home and feeling like a twat 3 - Do various numeracy, literary competency tests and situational judgement tests that took maybe 2-3 hours I was then selected for the final stage of the process which took place at a Hilton at 9 am which involved: A one hour group exercise when you need to work together to establish the order in which you would empty items of a sinking yacht whilst HR wankers sat around us taking notes. A one hour long probing interview carried out by 1 HR and 1 person who you could potentially be working under. A data analysis test when you have an hour to review various tenders for a project and choose the one you think is best to submit to your boss. A ten minute presentation about what you would bring to the role. Another 25+ minute interview when they asked the most knobbish questions imaginable. Was 1430 by the time I got out of there without having any lunch and I received a generic email 2 weeks later saying thanks but no thanks. For the job I’m at currently I met my now boss at the Burger King next to the Dakota in South Queensferry after work one day and got offered the job the next day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
welshbairn Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 About 15 years ago I made the final interview stage for an apprenticeship at Hunterston B, after passing a skills test that whittled around 100 applicants down to about a dozen, and was doing brilliantly until I was asked the question: "What is electricity?" I'd love to hear my answer back to find out just what absolute shite I came up with. I spent about a minute cobbling together an answer before one of the interviewers said "good try. but it's actually..." while I kept repeating "well that's you fucked it" over and over again in my head. Got through a couple of other questions before the final one, said by the same guy with a helping smile, "so then, what is electricity?" It was at this point I wanted my mummy.I went for an interview with a shipping company as a trainee engineering officer when I was about to leave school, and was asked which was more efficient, steam or diesel. Thought it must be a trick question so said steam. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inanimate Carbon Rod Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors.Airdrie fans can’t be MENSA members, it’s the ultimate oxymoron. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GiGi Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Inanimate Carbon Rod said: Airdrie fans can’t be MENSA members, it’s the ultimate oxymoron. Just leave out Airdrie on the CV. Edit - just thinking the man in the gif probably wouldn't have Airdrie on the CV either. Edited January 13, 2020 by GiGi 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theroadlesstravelled Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 1 hour ago, throbber said: I got to final stages for a graduate position with Scottish water 3 years ago. To get as far as interview stage I had to: 1 a Fill out the application form which included submitting cv, covering letter and 500 words or less as to why. I would fit the role and why I wanted to work for the company. 2 - Do a 45 minute long interview speaking to a webcam at home and feeling like a twat 3 - Do various numeracy, literary competency tests and situational judgement tests that took maybe 2-3 hours I was then selected for the final stage of the process which took place at a Hilton at 9 am which involved: A one hour group exercise when you need to work together to establish the order in which you would empty items of a sinking yacht whilst HR wankers sat around us taking notes. A one hour long probing interview carried out by 1 HR and 1 person who you could potentially be working under. A data analysis test when you have an hour to review various tenders for a project and choose the one you think is best to submit to your boss. A ten minute presentation about what you would bring to the role. Another 25+ minute interview when they asked the most knobbish questions imaginable. Was 1430 by the time I got out of there without having any lunch and I received a generic email 2 weeks later saying thanks but no thanks. For the job I’m at currently I met my now at boss at the Burger King next to the Dakota in South Queensferry after work one day and got offered the job the next day. It sounds like Scottish Water has a more robust interview process that Burger King. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Connolly Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 3 hours ago, ICTChris said: Very old P&Bers will remember the meltdown that an Airdrie fan had on a similar thread to this when he confidently suggested that putting MENSA membership on your CV would help you get jobs and would open doors. That definitely rings a bell 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve_Wilkos Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 I was coming to the end of a one on one interview with a woman for an office job. I farted loudly, blamed her and left immediately saying she wasn't taking my interview seriously. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 2 hours ago, throbber said: I got to final stages for a graduate position with Scottish water 3 years ago. To get as far as interview stage I had to: 1 a Fill out the application form which included submitting cv, covering letter and 500 words or less as to why. I would fit the role and why I wanted to work for the company. 2 - Do a 45 minute long interview speaking to a webcam at home and feeling like a twat 3 - Do various numeracy, literary competency tests and situational judgement tests that took maybe 2-3 hours I was then selected for the final stage of the process which took place at a Hilton at 9 am which involved: A one hour group exercise when you need to work together to establish the order in which you would empty items of a sinking yacht whilst HR wankers sat around us taking notes. A one hour long probing interview carried out by 1 HR and 1 person who you could potentially be working under. A data analysis test when you have an hour to review various tenders for a project and choose the one you think is best to submit to your boss. A ten minute presentation about what you would bring to the role. Another 25+ minute interview when they asked the most knobbish questions imaginable. Was 1430 by the time I got out of there without having any lunch and I received a generic email 2 weeks later saying thanks but no thanks. For the job I’m at currently I met my now at boss at the Burger King next to the Dakota in South Queensferry after work one day and got offered the job the next day. Sure it wasn't the Adult Entertainment industry? 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Sure it wasn't the Adult Entertainment industry?I wouldn’t have been surprised if they asked to see me naked tbh, was a ridiculous day. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Just now, throbber said: I wouldn’t have been surprised if they asked to see me naked tbh, was a ridiculous day. Don't think anyone is that fucking depraved Throbber. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
throbber Posted January 13, 2020 Share Posted January 13, 2020 Don't think anyone is that fucking depraved Throbber.You might want to check that one over with your mother. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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