Worst interview experiences

[jamamafegan]

I went for an interview for a call centre job through an agency once when I was still on the piss. Got rejected cos I've got a breach of the peace on my criminal record and the guy was a bit of a knob so I pished all over the lift on the way out.
Went to another call centre one around the same time and the guy looked at my CV and basically told me I wasn't what they were looking for. So I shat in the lift on the way out. 

You’re a filthy old rotter

[sjc]

8 minutes ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/crappy-handbook-linkedin-profile-pics-dan-kelsall/

^^^linkedin profile pic

[senorsoupe]

Probably the worst interview I ever had was for a job where they clearly had a candidate in mind but were told they had to interview a bunch of people anyways. 

Here is some context, I work for the Canadian Government, essentially as a mercenary beurocrat.  In the government you generally have to give people the chance to apply for a job as opposed to just giving it to someone and when you do this you have to provide a list of qualifications that you are looking for and you are expected to ask questions about these qualifications in the interview.  Anyways I saw this job being advertised that I was mostly qualified for, there was maybe one of the six qualifications I didn't know much about but figured I could get around that by impressing on the other five.  Anyways I go for the interview and of course pretty much all of the questions are on the one subject I know the least about with some very specific questions about something only someone who already knew they were getting the job would know.  There was a lot of awkward umms and pauses from me, needless to say I didn't get the job lol

[sjc]

20 hours ago, Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth said:

I went for an interview for a call centre job through an agency once when I was still on the piss. Got rejected cos I've got a breach of the peace on my criminal record and the guy was a bit of a knob so I pished all over the lift on the way out.

Went to another call centre one around the same time and the guy looked at my CV and basically told me I wasn't what they were looking for. So I shat in the lift on the way out. 

Have you considered a career in the construction industry?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

8 minutes ago, sjc said:

^^^linkedin profile pic

[Bairnardo]

Have you considered a career in the construction industry?

He should definitely PM throbber IMO

[Hedgecutter]

18 minutes ago, Bairnardo said:

He should definitely PM throbber IMO

^^^ Bairnardo

^^^ rest of us

Edited January 16, 2020 by Hedgecutter

[OSP]

2 hours ago, EvilScotsman said:

Unconscious bias. Even female recruiters will be more likely to hire a man than a woman given the same qualifications and experience.

My current workplace take out the applicant's name, gender and age details when they get sent to the recruiting manager.

You can still figure out a fair bit based on previous work experience, language they use, etc. but it's a decent approach to trying to reduce the unconscious bias.

[Hedgecutter]

1 hour ago, OSP said:

My current workplace take out the applicant's name, gender and age details when they get sent to the recruiting manager.

You can still figure out a fair bit based on previous work experience, language they use, etc. but it's a decent approach to trying to reduce the unconscious bias.

 

Name: Non-disclosed

Gender: Non-disclosed

DoB: Non-disclosed

 

Career History:

1983-1985:  Presenter for TV-am, yeeeaaaahhhhhhh.  Special show for Christmas 1984 (Roland's Countdown to Christmas).  Musician with hits including:  Rat Rapping: 1983 Peak Position 14; Love Me Tender: 1984 Peak Position 32; NO 1 Rat Fan: 1985 Peak Position 72

1985-1986:  BBC Presenter for 'Roland Rat the Series'.

1986-present: Superstar

 

Requests anonymity

Edited January 16, 2020 by Hedgecutter

[Dee Man]

2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

Name: Non-disclosed

Gender: Non-disclosed

DoB: Non-disclosed

 

Career History:

1983-1985:  Presenter for TV-am, yeeeaaaahhhhhhh.  Special show for Christmas 1984 (Roland's Countdown to Christmas).  Musician with hits including:  Rat Rapping: 1983 Peak Position 14; Love Me Tender: 1984 Peak Position 32; NO 1 Rat Fan: 1985 Peak Position 72

1985-1986:  BBC Presenter for 'Roland Rat the Series'.

1986-present: Superstar

 

Requests anonymity

It's Roland Rat, isn't it?

[charon]

2 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

 

Name: Non-disclosed

Gender: Non-disclosed

DoB: Non-disclosed

 

 

 

Changed days.

 

Back in the 70/80's it was compulsory to disclose the d.o.b thing.

 

Sometimes worked in your favour, other times not so.

[Sir Kevin Of Kilsyth]

7 hours ago, sjc said:

Have you considered a career in the construction industry?

I'm in it now believe it or not lol.

[Hedgecutter]

13 hours ago, charon said:

Back in the 70/80's it was compulsory to disclose the d.o.b thing.

Quite right.  You want to hire people with birthdays spread out over the year, otherwise office birthday cake comes along like London buses.  Goes to waste at this time of year especially.

[Homer Thompson]

On 14/01/2020 at 18:42, NewBornBairn said:

Went for an interview with CR Smith (is that the ones that do Lorimer Windows?). Anyway, there's a group of us being talked at by this woman who's telling us about the job selling double glazing. The day doesn't start until about mid-day when you go into the office to do phone calls and get leads etc. You hit the road about 3pm and start making your calls and the reason for the late start is you're expected to stay out as long as it takes to get the sale.

 

She then described how one of her top, top guys did a great job recently. He'd arrived at this retired couple's house about 7pm and whilst the normal call lasts about two hours, he didn't leave their house until gone midnight - but he got the order and a cheque.

 

And I thought to myself - "That poor old couple pressurised by some sales c**t for five hours until after midnight"

Then I thought - "That poor sales c**t that's under so much pressure he has to desperately try to get a sale like that"

 

I got up and just said, "This isn't for me" as I walked out.  She looked absolutely gobsmacked that I was turning down such a great opportunity.

I had an interview for an almost identical job, except selling alarm systems. The first few hours, though, were supposed to be training but consisted of sitting around doing bugger all. There was no real interview as I recall but the training was the worst. Me and two others, both of who struggled to memorise the most basic script and were generally thick as f**k. Both of who, though, got team leader jobs based on the fact that they had cars. As a team leader you got your own commission but also got paid the commission everyone in your team earned.

Job was shite, I was shite at it - the only lead I got was an old couple that I got bollocked for because they "obviously didnt have any money". It was £35 a week plus commission but if you earned less than £35 commission you only got paid £35 ie if you earned £40 commission you got £40, not £40 plus your £35 basic.

Think I lasted 2 days

On 14/01/2020 at 22:29, CountyFan said:

I do loads of interviewing at work, loads. Like at least a couple of times a month. 

I always look at it as a two way thing, it's as much a chance for the candidates to get a feel for us and our department as it is for us to see if they are a fit - and I tell them as much. You get so much more out of a candidate if you treat them with respect, ask appropriate, relevant questions that aren't meant to trip them up and spend a bit of time at the start to learn a bit about them and not just restrict it to their professional history. A really good interview should be more like a conversation than a question and answer session. 

Our success rate (I.e. folk we appoint who aren't bams) is pretty good, but theres nothing foolproof. I've had folk borderline at interview who we have given a chance who have been excellent colleagues. Equally folk who smash it just dont end up doing as well as you expect sometimes. 

The only bad ones are the weirdly common ones which end with the candidate saying "is there any reason you cant give me the job"? or words to that effect. It puts me right off. I think folk must be told to say that. My advice would be not to ask that. Invariably we say something like "well we have other folk to see so I dont know the respective performances until after" which is a) completely true and b) should be bleeding obvious. 

I've seen that question on an "interview tip" type site, although I think it was worded differently. I think the idea is that it gives the interviewer the chance to point out gaps and the interviewee a chance to address them.

On 14/01/2020 at 22:29, Honest_Man#1 said:

Or a 5 and a 3, or a 3 and a 5, or a 4 and a 4. For someone that’s really into mathematics that seems like a basic error.

So many pages of discussions and all of you wrong.

If you roll a double in Monopoly, you roll again, so the 4+4 doesnt land you on Euston

HTH  

[John Lambies Doos]

I went for an interview for a call centre job through an agency once when I was still on the piss. Got rejected cos I've got a breach of the peace on my criminal record and the guy was a bit of a knob so I pished all over the lift on the way out.
Went to another call centre one around the same time and the guy looked at my CV and basically told me I wasn't what they were looking for. So I shat in the lift on the way out. 

.

[Priti priti priti Patel]

On 15/01/2020 at 21:18, Margaret Thatcher said:

I had an interview today at  a major US professional services firm, and the attractive Caribbean woman interviewing called me "cute" during it.  Definitely not my worst interview experience tbqhwy.

Got the job and a 33% uplift in salary. 

RTBC thread for this pish, I know.

[charon]

9 hours ago, Hedgecutter said:

Quite right.  You want to hire people with birthdays spread out over the year, otherwise office birthday cake comes along like London buses.  Goes to waste at this time of year especially.

 

 

^^^ fails to see the real 'd.o.b.' question in the 70/80's.....

 

Actually 90's as well come to think back.

[Todd_is_God]

8 hours ago, Mr X said:

If you roll a double in Monopoly, you roll again, so the 4+4 doesnt land you on Euston

HTH  

Eh? You play out your first roll in its entirety, then roll again.

The only exception is a third double where you go directly to jail.

On an earlier point, not only may you purchase property on your first lap of the board, but unowned property landed on at any time *must* be bought, either by the player directly, or by auction. You can't just decide you don't want it and move on.

[Homer Thompson]

12 minutes ago, Todd_is_God said:

Eh? You play out your first roll in its entirety, then roll again.

The only exception is a third double where you go directly to jail.

On an earlier point, not only may you purchase property on your first lap of the board, but unowned property landed on at any time *must* be bought, either by the player directly, or by auction. You can't just decide you don't want it and move on.

You're right, the question was "land on Euston in your first go". I read it, then read a few more pages and had it my head it was "end on Euston in your first go"

[Fullerene]

Oh yes.  That job interview that got very heated talking about the rules to Monopoly.  Tempers frayed, it all came to blows, the police were called in and we all got carted down to the station.

So ended my attempt to join the Diplomatic Corp.