Worst interview experiences

[Torpar]

I interviewed for the Scottish Government when I was in my early 20s and it makes me cringe now, got asked the usual 'describe a time' questions, when asked about team work I genuinely answered with something about playing for my Sunday league team, I didn't even play for a Sunday league, needless to say I didn't get the job. 

I interviewed at a recruitment agency in Pitreavie Industrial Estate once and part of the process involved a typing test. I was given a passage to write out, they left me alone to practice before the real test started, I was meant to type out the passage to practice then delete it before the timed test start. I of course copied and cut the passage instead then pasted it when the test started and carried on, by the end the interviewer said she thought it was the highest word per minute count she had seen. 

[Newbornbairn]

Went for an interview with CR Smith (is that the ones that do Lorimer Windows?). Anyway, there's a group of us being talked at by this woman who's telling us about the job selling double glazing. The day doesn't start until about mid-day when you go into the office to do phone calls and get leads etc. You hit the road about 3pm and start making your calls and the reason for the late start is you're expected to stay out as long as it takes to get the sale.

 

She then described how one of her top, top guys did a great job recently. He'd arrived at this retired couple's house about 7pm and whilst the normal call lasts about two hours, he didn't leave their house until gone midnight - but he got the order and a cheque.

 

And I thought to myself - "That poor old couple pressurised by some sales c**t for five hours until after midnight"

Then I thought - "That poor sales c**t that's under so much pressure he has to desperately try to get a sale like that"

 

I got up and just said, "This isn't for me" as I walked out.  She looked absolutely gobsmacked that I was turning down such a great opportunity.

[Mark Connolly]

6 hours ago, Northboy said:

Asking "Where do you see yourself in 5 years"  in an interview should be a sackable offence.

I can assure you that "Hopefully not having to answer that stupid question again" does not always get the reaction it deserves.

[welshbairn]

Asking "Where do you see yourself in 5 years"  in an interview should be a sackable offence.

On par with getting asked why I was interested in working as a mortuary assistant in a pathology department. Went for the job on a whim when I was broke, thought it might be a bizarre life interlude, but just started suppressed giggling when trying to think of an appropriate answer. Like anywhere else but with you twats in the 5 year question.

[Newbornbairn]

Walked into the interview room and he had a wall eye - a really bad one.

 

God help me, I turned round to see if someone had followed me in. 

[Newbornbairn]

4 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

On par with getting asked why I was interested in working as a mortuary assistant in a pathology department. Went for the job on a whim when I was broke, thought it might be a bizarre life interlude, but just started suppressed giggling when trying to think of an appropriate answer. Like anywhere else but with you twats in the 5 year question.

I was on the dole in Kirkcaldy and that job was in the Job Centre for the Vic Hospital. I applied on the standard Job Centre form which included the line "Why do you think you are right for this job?"

Writing "I like meeting people" didn't get me an interview.

[mathematics]

On 13/01/2020 at 17:43, trainspotter said:

Possibly before my time as I can't remember it, but this cartoon came straight to mind when I read that.

My PhD supervisor had that on his notice board in his office. Would often stare at it when he asked me a difficult question.

[mathematics]

I once had an interview with the National Grid. They sat a monopoly board down in front of me and asked the probability that I’d land on Euston Road on my first roll. They then asked the probability that I’d land on Mayfair after “n” rolls. Brutal.

[DeeTillEhDeh]

Used to manage a theatre and we hired schoolgirls as usherettes. One lassie came in for interview - 15 and dressed like a $5 hooker. Short skirt, low cut top, caked-on makeup etc etc. She sat down and immediately crossed her legs and tugged her top down a bit more at which point I stopped her and told her to go home and get changed into something more suitable.  When she came back dressed more appropriately she came across well and was hired but she later told me that she thought dressing like that was what was expected for a girl going for a job - something I found quite depressing. 

Good job it was you and not Gus . . .

[throbber]

I once had an interview with the National Grid. They sat a monopoly board down in front of me and asked the probability that I’d land on Euston Road on my first roll. They then asked the probability that I’d land on Mayfair after “n” rolls. Brutal.

Sounds electrifying.

[DeeTillEhDeh]

I've interviewed lots of folk, and now as part of my job train others on how to do it.
It amazes me how many folk think that making an interview a horrible, stressful, difficult experience for all the candidates is the best way to find the ideal candidate for the role. Pure ego trip for the arseholes doing the recruitment, and nothing more.
As for my personal experiences, when I was just 17 went for a job where the Managing Director told me my first mistake at the interview was the crucifix I was wearing, as he gets most of his clients through the lodge. Cringe to think I just accepted that as honest feedback at the time, but I was just a young lad...

This.

Best interviews are when you get the candidate to relax - you actually see their personality and can usually see through the utter bullshitters.

[John Lambies Doos]

Anyone have some really awful, or awkward job interviews over the years?
 
I mind one time I went for an admin gig in Pitrevie business park with some small firm and clearly the guy had a casting couch in his office, and a shop floor full of tarts.
 
 
Another way back when I was 18 was for an apprentice plumbing job. Knew f**k all, just wanted to get an income (£60 a week roughly ffs).
 
Sat being interviewed by a panel of about 8 c***s who grilled me with all sorts of shit including what makes water go through a radiator (had no idea)
Also then had the second part, a practical. Had to watch a tap being taken apart and put back together in a certain time. Hadn't the first clue what I was doing. Hated the experience.
 
Also one time went for a job whilst having a horrific black eye after tripping (sober) through a door kicking a bottle in the street. Said I hurt it playing rugby.

Thus forcing you to join the company rugby club.

[philpy]

Went for an interview with CR Smith (is that the ones that do Lorimer Windows?). Anyway, there's a group of us being talked at by this woman who's telling us about the job selling double glazing. The day doesn't start until about mid-day when you go into the office to do phone calls and get leads etc. You hit the road about 3pm and start making your calls and the reason for the late start is you're expected to stay out as long as it takes to get the sale.
 
She then described how one of her top, top guys did a great job recently. He'd arrived at this retired couple's house about 7pm and whilst the normal call lasts about two hours, he didn't leave their house until gone midnight - but he got the order and a cheque.
 
And I thought to myself - "That poor old couple pressurised by some sales c**t for five hours until after midnight"
Then I thought - "That poor sales c**t that's under so much pressure he has to desperately try to get a sale like that"
 
I got up and just said, "This isn't for me" as I walked out.  She looked absolutely gobsmacked that I was turning down such a great opportunity.

I had a similar experience a good few years back. It was selling hoovers. Went to go the toilet in the hotel the interview was held, came out the loo and went right to the bar. Another one, I went for an interview to go round doors selling mobile phone contracts. Pretty much offered the job there and then, so off I went, chapped my first door, got told to f**k off, at that point it started to chuck it down with rain. The first door I knocked was also the last. f**k that.

[Mark Connolly]

18 minutes ago, mathematics said:

I once had an interview with the National Grid. They sat a monopoly board down in front of me and asked the probability that I’d land on Euston Road on my first roll. They then asked the probability that I’d land on Mayfair after “n” rolls. Brutal.

They were probably looking for "I don't know, but I always try to buy the utilities"

[charon]

1 minute ago, Shotgun said:

Euston Road is 31 places from the start. How could you possibly land on it in 1 roll? What am I missing?

As for the second part, were they really asking you the probability of "n" rolls of a dice totaling 39? What percentage of the population would be able to do that? Were they looking to hire Rain Man?

 

 

Guessing that the answers were 'zero' and '100%'.

[mathematics]

3 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

They were probably looking for "I don't know, but I always try to buy the utilities"

Can’t buy on the first run round! Or is that a “local rule”?

[Mark Connolly]

Just now, mathematics said:

Can’t buy on the first run round! Or is that a “local rule”?

I'm sure I have a set in the house where that's in the rules, but apparently it is not a rule in the recent editions.

[mathematics]

5 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

Euston Road is 31 places from the start. How could you possibly land on it in 1 roll? What am I missing?

As for the second part, were they really asking you the probability of "n" rolls of a dice totaling 39? What percentage of the population would be able to do that? Were they looking to hire Rain Man?

8 places from the start on any board I’ve used.

yes, it was quite a mathematical/statistical post and they only wanted the best autistic board game fans.

[Shotgun]

 

2 minutes ago, charon said:

Guessing that the answers were 'zero' and '100%'.

I wasn't quick enough to delete my post but I was forgetting that you get 2 dice and can keep rolling if you roll the same number on each dice. It isn't zero but there must be an astronomical number of possibilities to get to 31 & 39 respectively.

But unless we're talking about bread rolls, I have no idea.

 

[mathematics]

3 minutes ago, Mark Connolly said:

I'm sure I have a set in the house where that's in the rules, but apparently it is not a rule in the recent editions.

Mrs Mathematics bought the “Cheaters Edition” tomolay over the festive period.

i was not impressed.