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Your team's worst XI of the decade


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57 minutes ago, YassinMoutaouakil said:

Eremenko was fat and shite. There's a reason it was Connor Sammon who ended up in the Barclays while Eremenko jobbed about in Kazakhstan.

That’s either terrible bait or a real lack of understanding of the game.  Eremenko had a huge impact on our team and was IMO shafted out of Scotland’s POTY award.  

Sammon went up in the world as he was younger, fitter, and most importantly, banging in goals for fun- much due to Alexei and others around him.

Eremenko would have been a luxury player in better sides- I remember Lennon saying as much when asked by our lovely OF biased media ‘why are you not signing him then?’.

For Kilmarnock, he was an essential player, as we were in a position to build our entire play around him. 

I would also guess that he would have earned more in Kazakhstan than Sammon would have earned at Wigan. 

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Goalkeeper - Zibigniew Malkowski 

LB - Alan Maybury 

CB - Ryan McGivern 

CB - Michael Nelson 

RB - Pa Saikou Kujabi 

RM - Alan Obrien 

CM - Owain Tudur-Jones 

CM - Brian Kerr

LM - Matt Done

ST - Rowan Vine 

ST - Amadou Konte

Enough to make you wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, walk over to a dark corner of your room and just sit weeping. 

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On 22/11/2019 at 19:35, Stu said:

CB – Cole Kpekawa: One of Alan Stubbs many signings from down south. Had previously been sold for a six figure sum by at least one club, he looked good on his debut against Kilmarnock in the League Cup but we soon realised why he'd bounced round so many clubs. Gash. Got hooked against Livi in August and not sure if he was seen again. Binned come January and I think he ended the season at Billericay

One of the things I like about these threads is checking out what happened to various players I've never heard of (don't judge me - I've got a broing job).  And this guy certainly sounds a real star:

On 20 August 2019, Kpekawa joined Slovak Super Liga side AS Trenčín on a multi-year contract following a spell with Billericay Town.[30]

Kpekawa made his Fortuna Liga debut against MFK Zemplín Michalovce in September 14, 2019.[31] In his debut match, Kpekawa was sent off in the 9th minute of the match, after he broke a leg of only 18 year old Matej Trusa. Later that day, Trusa was diagnosed with a double fracture of his right leg. It is expected to take approximately 12 months until he recovers.[32]

On 20 September 2019, Kpekawa was suspended for 6 months by the disciplinary committee of Slovak Football Association.

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19 hours ago, AberdeenHibee said:

Goalkeeper - Zibigniew Malkowski 

LB - Alan Maybury 

CB - Ryan McGivern 

CB - Michael Nelson 

RB - Pa Saikou Kujabi 

RM - Alan Obrien 

CM - Owain Tudur-Jones 

CM - Brian Kerr

LM - Matt Done

ST - Rowan Vine 

ST - Amadou Konte

Enough to make you wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, walk over to a dark corner of your room and just sit weeping. 

Like some clubs have a penchant for specialising in signing utter jobbers in one particular position (Celtic and our selection of gash strikers for example), Hibernian haven't half had some appalling goalkeepers in recent decades. 

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Shows how pish some of our signings have been when you can make this list and not even mention Rob Ogleby, Michael McKenna, Jonny Brown, Nejc Praprotnik, Nejc Mevlja, Kieron Gibbons, Jordan Morton, and Kenny Miller. 

Always forget McKenna was at Livi...whereabouts did he play for you?
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22 hours ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said:

That’s either terrible bait or a real lack of understanding of the game.  Eremenko had a huge impact on our team and was IMO shafted out of Scotland’s POTY award.  

Sammon went up in the world as he was younger, fitter, and most importantly, banging in goals for fun- much due to Alexei and others around him.

Eremenko would have been a luxury player in better sides- I remember Lennon saying as much when asked by our lovely OF biased media ‘why are you not signing him then?’.

For Kilmarnock, he was an essential player, as we were in a position to build our entire play around him. 

I would also guess that he would have earned more in Kazakhstan than Sammon would have earned at Wigan. 

I'm glad you realised it was bait in the first sentence then carried on for another four paragraphs anyway :lol:

Edited by YassinMoutaouakil
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Goalkeeper - Zibigniew Malkowski 
LB - Alan Maybury 
CB - Ryan McGivern 
CB - Michael Nelson 
RB - Pa Saikou Kujabi 
RM - Alan Obrien 
CM - Owain Tudur-Jones 
CM - Brian Kerr
LM - Matt Done
ST - Rowan Vine 
ST - Amadou Konte
Enough to make you wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, walk over to a dark corner of your room and just sit weeping. 
Some hearts legends on that list.
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Mark Brown

 

Edson Braafheid

Josh Thompson

Lee Naylor

Danny Fox

 

Zheng Zhi (apart from that goal at Tynecastle obvs)

N'Guemo

 

Cillian Sheridan

Morten "Duncan Ferguson" Rasmussen

Miku

Lassad

Bangura

Derk Boerrigter

Amido Balde

Pukki

Was aiming for a 4-2-4, but so many shite strikers and wingers

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6 hours ago, Lichtie78 said:


Always forget McKenna was at Livi...whereabouts did he play for you?

Left wing I think, might have been the right but I've tried to completely erase those seasons from my memory.

Where does he play for Arbroath? Presumably doing quite well too.

Edited by LiviLion
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Left wing I think, might have been the right but I've tried to completely erase those seasons from my memory.
Where does he play for Arbroath? Presumably doing quite well too.

Has played mostly on the wing this year, but he’s better through the middle imo. Limited technically but his energy and work rate are second to none. One of my mates was telling me he didn’t play between the ages of 16-19, which shows sometimes with regards to his all round game. Fan favourite at Gayfield though I’d say
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On 24/11/2019 at 19:42, AberdeenHibee said:

Goalkeeper - Zibigniew Malkowski 

LB - Alan Maybury 

CB - Ryan McGivern 

CB - Michael Nelson 

RB - Pa Saikou Kujabi 

RM - Alan Obrien 

CM - Owain Tudur-Jones 

CM - Brian Kerr

LM - Matt Done

ST - Rowan Vine 

ST - Amadou Konte

Enough to make you wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweats, walk over to a dark corner of your room and just sit weeping. 

I had a mate who suffered a season of watching the blonde bombscare McGivern playing for HIbs. Port Vale signed him and my mate had been so mentally scarred he developed a dislike for Port Vale and hoped that they'd lose every week. 

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16 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

Lack of Lee Hollis from Motherwell fans is a shock.

Hollis wasn't a regular enough player for me to really consider him. Similar to Omar Daley, he also played in quite a decent team so might not have looked quite as shite as he was.

The team Samson played in was piss poor and he didn't help by setting up chances for opposition strikers every week. It also made you appreciate how fucking hopeless he was when Carson came in the next season and looked like peak Buffon compared to Samson.

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On 22/11/2019 at 19:35, Stu said:

This goes on a bit and a few debatable ones - probably missed someone obvious for a few positions.

EDIT: Fully appreciate there will be a tl;dr approach from most folk to this.

GK - David Cornell: We've been relatively lucky with goalies this decade (cue guffaws from opposition fans about Samson). Cornell started off in Danny Lennon's final season and looked pretty hopeless. His kicking was rubbish and he wasn't much better at saving. Was binned after a few games and sent back to Swansea come January.

 

RB – Craig Reid: Perhaps a bit unfair but we've had pretty good rightbacks this decade such as David van Zanten, Liam Smith and Paul McGinn. Reid came on loan when Iain Murray was in charge as our other rightbacks were injured or suspended. Didn't help things by getting sent off on his debut against Falkirk. Wasn't terrible, wasn't great and kinda ends up here by default.

 

CB – Cole Kpekawa: One of Alan Stubbs many signings from down south. Had previously been sold for a six figure sum by at least one club, he looked good on his debut against Kilmarnock in the League Cup but we soon realised why he'd bounced round so many clubs. Gash. Got hooked against Livi in August and not sure if he was seen again. Binned come January and I think he ended the season at Billericay.

 

CB – Josh Heaton: A very, very expensive mistake. Stubbs paid Darlington £75,000 for him amid interest from other clubs after he impressed in the Jamie Vardy Academy. Looked out of his depth against Spartans (ironic considering he'd come from the English non-league) and I don't think he made a league appearance for us. When it turned out he was pish, claims mysteriously started appearing that we didn't pay £75,000 for him after all and that was the final figure with add-ons – despite the club trumpeting him as our most expensive signing for a quarter of a decade. Punting out on loan to some English lower-league backwater then told to piss off in the summer. Now bouncing around the English lower leagues, recently emptied by Bradford Park Avenue for saying not very nice things on Twitter.

 

LB – Luke Conlan: Like Reid, came in the Murray era and ends up here by default as we've had guys like Paul Dummett and Adam Eckersley playing leftback. Came on loan from Burnley and didn't look very good. Sent off against Morton before the end of August and I don't think he was seen again. His most useful contribution was getting called up to an under-21 squad, meaning we had enough players away to get a game postponed. Binned come January. Honourable mention to Danny Grainger, who was shite and spent half his time with us tweeting about his love for Hearts.

 

RM – Jamie McCluskey: Gets the nod because Adam Drury at least scored some goals. Liked a stepover and was very small but most remembered for celebrating a Celtic goal while watching the Old Firm game in the Saints dressing room – a moment caught by the BT cameras.

 

CM – Kyle Hutton (captain for ultimate shiteness): f**k off, keep fucking off then f**k off some more. How the hell this boy ended up on the books of Rangers is beyond me. One of the worst players I've ever seen and part of Alex Rae's staunch signing policy. Think his last appearance was against Morton when he made it quite clear he didn't want the ball. Not sure how many times the phrase “but he was Queen of the South's player of the season last year” was trotted out by straw-clutching fans on our forums (he'd won one of the near double figure awards available). Think he was sent out on loan even before January, then binned for good in the summer. Part of the Dumbarton side that lost to our under-20s this season.

 

CM – Eric Djemba-Djemba: It should probably be Stuart Carswell but Djemba-Djemba is more memorable. Signed in a blaze of glory and became a cult hero with his flat cap. Looked rubbish on his debut, gave away a penalty the following week and that was that. Had lovely, soft feet according to Danny Lennon.

 

LM – Jeff King: Not sure if he was actually a winger and don't care. Another of Stubbs' attempts to prove that English reserve and non-league side players are capable of playing in the Scottish Premiership. Not sure when or where he disappeared to once Stubbs went.

 

CF – Stephane Bahoken: Probably worse strikers played for us in the decade that merit inclusion more (Yoann Arquin and James Marwood) but I don't think they went AWOL midway through their loan spell. Looked pish on his debut, didn't get any better and buggered off come November. His loan deal was ended but his French club didn't want him so he came back, made one appearance then got “injured” and wasn't seen again. Unbelievably has turned into a decent striker in the French top flight despite barely looking like a footballer when with us.

 

CF – Nicola Brock-Madsen: Yet another of the Stubbs shite we got lumbered with. His track record looked pish, Birmingham wanted shot of him and he had not enjoyed a previous loan spell somewhere after moaning about the air quality. Made a few appearances, looked shite and wasn't prepared to fight for his place after his loan ended so off he fucked.

 

All good choices, so here's a second shite XI

1. Mark Ridgers - not as bad as Cornell, but still really shite. Lex's BFF on Twitter. 

2. Jake Caprice- f**k knows what this was all about

3. Mo Camara -Just makes it, a great example of how you can have a brilliant career on paper through nothing but luck.

4. Victor Genev- panic signing as we were on our way down. Did nothing to stop it.

5. Andy Webster - big name, big disappointment 

6. Stuart Carswell- again, a lot of competition here, guys like Sean Lynch and Paddy Cregg spring to mind, but Carswell gets it on games played.

7. Alex Cooper- was going to go for Tom Walsh as the second victim of the Cappielow horror show, then considered Paul McMullen for being an ineffectual shitebag, but feel Alex deserves this more for managing to play at least double figures and doing absolutely nothing

8. Alan Gow- Actually looked half decent for about 30 mins against Motherwell before McManus took him out. Shite the rest of the time.

9. Callum Ball- you could tell he was shite just by looking at him.

10. Ross Caldwell- Toss up between him and Marwood. Pretty incredible that Marwood has managed to avoid selection in two worst teams of the decade, but we've had a lot of fucking terrible strikers in that time.

11. Gregg Wylde- he's got to be in there.

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17 hours ago, Busta Nut said:

Lack of Lee Hollis from Motherwell fans is a shock.

If I had named a 23 man squad he'd be in it. Samson & Neilsen were worse IMO. 

Hollis also gets a bye for keeping a clean sheet again Aberdeen when we switch to playing Hammell & Hutchinson at the back and everyone else up front at Pittodrie. 

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Not having Hollis not being in there lads.

 

Played just as much as Nielson and was worse. Hollis looked like an outfield player who had to go in goals after the GK was sent off.
All about opinions though eh?

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On 22/11/2019 at 12:40, thisGRAEME said:

A fairly solid XI here, but I'll take;

Gunnar Neilsen over Samson. Don't get me wrong, Samson almost took us down, but he was ahead of Neilsen. He was absolutely hopeless, and got a pass because he wasn't Samson, IMO.

Fraser Kerr over Omar Daley, Motherwell as f**k, big, strong and absolutely hopeless. Not his fault he was a centre-half chucked on at right midfield, but he was murder. Daley scored agains the Dons, so gets a pass for me.

Theo Robinson over Luka Belic. Belic was pointless and a punt, and must've cost us about his busfare to arrive. Robinson genuinely looked like he'd taken up football on the morning of the game and played a dozen times.

Honourable mentions for Louis Laing, who got paid a bunch of money for not playing football, Stephen Hendrie and Aaron Taylor-Sinclair who were both absolutely useless. Special shout-outs to our two Hearts loanees in this period, Connor Sammon and Morgaro Gomis, never loan a player from Hearts again.

Find it hard to disagree with most of the Motherwell shouts on here, but for me Kerr's work rate and enthusiasm in a role alien to him gives Daley the nod for me.

At least with the trio of Nielsen/Hollis/Twardzik, their inefficiencies were quickly exposed and they were discarded. We got Samson pretty much for a full season and the pain was so prolonged. Russell Griffiths' performances when Carson were injured the following season proved not being Samson was his best trait. Not to mention, Samson arrived with much more experience and pedigree in the league.

Josh Law was a very harsh shout for me, I actually think he done a reasonable job at right back for us. I shoehorned Kieran Kennedy into my team at his expense.

Put Joe Chalmers instead of Petravicius basically cause I forgot Petravicius had existed. Casagolda instead of Robinson. But it's good we're all picking from the same pool of players!

I'd also like to reaffirm Mark O'Brien's place in the XI. The guy who took joy in kicking the ball as hard as he could the way he was facing and deliberately getting booked when he could win the ball. The anti-christ of football. 

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