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Your team's worst XI of the decade


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GK - Graeme Smith 

CB - Sean O’Hanlon

CB - David Stephens

CB - Daniel Boateng

RM - Danny Haynes

CM - Matt Thornhill

CM - Owain Tudor Jones

CM - Edwin are Graaf

LM - Roy O’Donovan

ST - Rowan Vine

ST - Shefki Kuqi

ST - Darryl Duffy

 

All from the first half of the decade. Don’t get me wrong, we had some amount of guff in the second half too but those first 5 years were horrendous. What a team.
 

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8 hours ago, yoda said:

Aaron McCarey

Jim Fenlon // Tim Dreesen // Jay McEveley // Uros Celcer

Terry Dunfield // Tim Chow // Marc Klok

Inih Effiong // Orhan Mustafi // Steven Milne

Co-Managers: Willie McStay and Owen Coyle

 

Martin Woods, Jon Bateson, and Branislav Micic are very fortunate that there were worse players in their respective positions.

Chris Eagles and David Ngog missing, but otherwise yep. 

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Just now, ali_91 said:

That’s Scottish cup winner Gary McDonald to you thank you very much. 

That's the main reason he missed out, really. 

I'll never forgot the amount of times a ball was played towards him, often a throw in, and he let the ball run across him, an opponent got there first, and he just sort of sprung out the way of them instead of taking them out.

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Just now, RandomGuy. said:

That's the main reason he missed out, really. 

I'll never forgot the amount of times a ball was played towards him, often a throw in, and he let the ball run across him, an opponent got there first, and he just sort of sprung out the way of them instead of taking them out.

Your earlier post about Keith Watson? Is that the same Keith Watson that's playing in a side above us aye?

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1 minute ago, tree house tam said:

Your earlier post about Keith Watson? Is that the same Keith Watson that's playing in a side above us aye?

Yes. He was absolutely dreadful for us, so hes in my worst eleven.

Would I put Marcus Maddison in my best eleven because hes been incredible at a different club?

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This goes on a bit and a few debatable ones - probably missed someone obvious for a few positions.

EDIT: Fully appreciate there will be a tl;dr approach from most folk to this.

GK - David Cornell: We've been relatively lucky with goalies this decade (cue guffaws from opposition fans about Samson). Cornell started off in Danny Lennon's final season and looked pretty hopeless. His kicking was rubbish and he wasn't much better at saving. Was binned after a few games and sent back to Swansea come January.

 

RB – Craig Reid: Perhaps a bit unfair but we've had pretty good rightbacks this decade such as David van Zanten, Liam Smith and Paul McGinn. Reid came on loan when Iain Murray was in charge as our other rightbacks were injured or suspended. Didn't help things by getting sent off on his debut against Falkirk. Wasn't terrible, wasn't great and kinda ends up here by default.

 

CB – Cole Kpekawa: One of Alan Stubbs many signings from down south. Had previously been sold for a six figure sum by at least one club, he looked good on his debut against Kilmarnock in the League Cup but we soon realised why he'd bounced round so many clubs. Gash. Got hooked against Livi in August and not sure if he was seen again. Binned come January and I think he ended the season at Billericay.

 

CB – Josh Heaton: A very, very expensive mistake. Stubbs paid Darlington £75,000 for him amid interest from other clubs after he impressed in the Jamie Vardy Academy. Looked out of his depth against Spartans (ironic considering he'd come from the English non-league) and I don't think he made a league appearance for us. When it turned out he was pish, claims mysteriously started appearing that we didn't pay £75,000 for him after all and that was the final figure with add-ons – despite the club trumpeting him as our most expensive signing for a quarter of a decade. Punting out on loan to some English lower-league backwater then told to piss off in the summer. Now bouncing around the English lower leagues, recently emptied by Bradford Park Avenue for saying not very nice things on Twitter.

 

LB – Luke Conlan: Like Reid, came in the Murray era and ends up here by default as we've had guys like Paul Dummett and Adam Eckersley playing leftback. Came on loan from Burnley and didn't look very good. Sent off against Morton before the end of August and I don't think he was seen again. His most useful contribution was getting called up to an under-21 squad, meaning we had enough players away to get a game postponed. Binned come January. Honourable mention to Danny Grainger, who was shite and spent half his time with us tweeting about his love for Hearts.

 

RM – Jamie McCluskey: Gets the nod because Adam Drury at least scored some goals. Liked a stepover and was very small but most remembered for celebrating a Celtic goal while watching the Old Firm game in the Saints dressing room – a moment caught by the BT cameras.

 

CM – Kyle Hutton (captain for ultimate shiteness): f**k off, keep fucking off then f**k off some more. How the hell this boy ended up on the books of Rangers is beyond me. One of the worst players I've ever seen and part of Alex Rae's staunch signing policy. Think his last appearance was against Morton when he made it quite clear he didn't want the ball. Not sure how many times the phrase “but he was Queen of the South's player of the season last year” was trotted out by straw-clutching fans on our forums (he'd won one of the near double figure awards available). Think he was sent out on loan even before January, then binned for good in the summer. Part of the Dumbarton side that lost to our under-20s this season.

 

CM – Eric Djemba-Djemba: It should probably be Stuart Carswell but Djemba-Djemba is more memorable. Signed in a blaze of glory and became a cult hero with his flat cap. Looked rubbish on his debut, gave away a penalty the following week and that was that. Had lovely, soft feet according to Danny Lennon.

 

LM – Jeff King: Not sure if he was actually a winger and don't care. Another of Stubbs' attempts to prove that English reserve and non-league side players are capable of playing in the Scottish Premiership. Not sure when or where he disappeared to once Stubbs went.

 

CF – Stephane Bahoken: Probably worse strikers played for us in the decade that merit inclusion more (Yoann Arquin and James Marwood) but I don't think they went AWOL midway through their loan spell. Looked pish on his debut, didn't get any better and buggered off come November. His loan deal was ended but his French club didn't want him so he came back, made one appearance then got “injured” and wasn't seen again. Unbelievably has turned into a decent striker in the French top flight despite barely looking like a footballer when with us.

 

CF – Nicola Brock-Madsen: Yet another of the Stubbs shite we got lumbered with. His track record looked pish, Birmingham wanted shot of him and he had not enjoyed a previous loan spell somewhere after moaning about the air quality. Made a few appearances, looked shite and wasn't prepared to fight for his place after his loan ended so off he fucked.

 

Edited by Stu
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1 hour ago, conboyhibs said:

GK - Graeme Smith 

CB - Sean O’Hanlon

CB - David Stephens

CB - Daniel Boateng

RM - Danny Haynes

CM - Matt Thornhill

CM - Owain Tudor Jones

CM - Edwin are Graaf

LM - Roy O’Donovan

ST - Rowan Vine

ST - Shefki Kuqi

ST - Darryl Duffy

 

All from the first half of the decade. Don’t get me wrong, we had some amount of guff in the second half too but those first 5 years were horrendous. What a team.
 

It took me until de Graaf to realise this was Hibs.  I won't lie, this team trounces my bad Hearts team and I respectfully offer my hand in surrender. pond.png

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On 22/11/2019 at 04:54, JamieThomas said:

LM - Mehdi Taouil. Shit. Just absolute fucking shit. I don't even want to think about him. Not so much an empty shirt as one thrown into the deepest vacuum of space.

You were getting a greenie until this point - I'd absolutely no idea that this was the case about Mehdi, was he really shite for Hearts?!

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A decade that started with a very real threat of relegation for the Dons, resulting in our worst ever defeat thanks to our worst ever manager. Most of the team could be made up of the crap he assembled alone. I'm going to try and be a bit more creative, however. Although we've had a largely successful decade since McInnes came in, he's also been responsible for a fair bit of dross coming through the door. Going to exclude those who made very little appearances except for the truly terrible ones...
GK - David Gonzalez - A few contenders for the No1 position. The Colombian on loan from Man City just nicks it though. The only keeper to have routinely picked the ball out of the net 2-3 times per game, despite Craig Brown claiming he never had a save to make in any one of them!
RB - Jerel Ifil - After appearing in a pre-season friendly against Hull City and putting in a performance Franco Baresi would've been proud of. "Sign him up!" was the cry from witnesses to it that day. "Trifle" though, turned out to be absolute dug meat. Even though a CB, I'm putting him at RB due to one particularly awful performance at home against St Mirren. Shunted out wide after no longer being trusted in the middle, he managed to slice a routine punt up the field right to the back of the Main Stand under no pressure at all. Brutal.
LB - Clark Robertson - Perhaps a bit harsh because of coming through in a terrible McGhee team, he was just a pretty forgettable player in general that got shipped out eventually by McInnes. Seems to have done alright for himself since.
CB - Davide Grassi - I have a wee soft spot for this Italian for reasons that I can't understand myself. But even sentiment can't cloud my vision that he was pish. Notably wore a fetching Aberdeen branded face mask for a few games after fracturing his cheek bone.
CB - Alan Tate - The first of a few dud McInnes loanees. Brought in from Swansea to add a bit of experienced cover, it became apparent quickly that this carthorse was ready for the glue factory.
RM - Jeffrey Monakana - Jeffrey didn't like to pass, wasn't that quick, skillful or a good crosser. Brought in on loan by McInnes from Brighton. Just a bit rubbish.
LM - Greg Stewart - Words cannot describe my loathing for this guy. Absolute charlatan who didn't bother his arse in a red jersey.
CM - Gary McDonald - Became un-affectionately known as "Ghost" during his time at Pittodrie due to his tendency to go missing in the games. The fact he went on to become a Scottish Cup winner is a bit sickening.
CM - Chris Forrester - We paid somewhere in the region of £200K for this guy. His sole contribution was scoring a penalty in a shootout win against Hibs in the League Cup. That might have been his only touch of the game after coming on in extra time. Perhaps his only touch of the ball as an Aberdeen player.
CF - Nick Blackman - Obviously talented but clearly couldn't be bothered playing for us after a prolific loan spell at Motherwell under Brown earlier in the season
CF - Miles Storey - 

Subs:
GK - Mark Howard - Not fit to be a No.1 at Aberdeen so doesn't make the line up on this either
DF - Nikola Vujadinovic - If you want to make a comfortable 2-0 home win against St Mirren a tense affair, send this man on to bullet a diving header into his own goal with his first touch!
DF - Zander Diamond - By this point all good will from a promising opening couple seasons had long since evaporated
MF - Stephen Hughes - Slow, fat, lazy... the list is endless
MF - Chidi Nwakali - Was going put Tansey in here but due to his medical problems that killed his career becoming apparent with us that hampered him. This guy had no excuse. Absolutely pathetic performance in the 3-0 loss to Motherwell in the SC semi final.
CF - Calvin Zola - The first attempt at the much desired target man that McInnes craves. Zola was more likely to get sent off than score most games.
CF - Nicky Maynard - Just shades it ahead of other candidates. Very disappointing despite having decent pedigree 



Bit harsh on Forrester. Lack of game time due to personal issues.

Not sure why Maynard gets such a hard time. How can he score if he isn’t in the field.
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20 hours ago, Mantis Toboggan said:

I'm surprised Tyler Blackett hasn't had a mention on the Celtic ones 

Probably because I'd completely forgotten about him tbh. He was pish though, and as Magee says, he only played a couple of games for us, so not quite enough to be included in the XI, but possibly an honourable mention.

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This goes on a bit and a few debatable ones - probably missed someone obvious for a few positions.
EDIT: Fully appreciate there will be a tl;dr approach from most folk to this.

GK - David Cornell: We've been relatively lucky with goalies this decade (cue guffaws from opposition fans about Samson). Cornell started off in Danny Lennon's final season and looked pretty hopeless. His kicking was rubbish and he wasn't much better at saving. Was binned after a few games and sent back to Swansea come January.

 

RB – Craig Reid: Perhaps a bit unfair but we've had pretty good rightbacks this decade such as David van Zanten, Liam Smith and Paul McGinn. Reid came on loan when Iain Murray was in charge as our other rightbacks were injured or suspended. Didn't help things by getting sent off on his debut against Falkirk. Wasn't terrible, wasn't great and kinda ends up here by default.

 

CB – Cole Kpekawa: One of Alan Stubbs many signings from down south. Had previously been sold for a six figure sum by at least one club, he looked good on his debut against Kilmarnock in the League Cup but we soon realised why he'd bounced round so many clubs. Gash. Got hooked against Livi in August and not sure if he was seen again. Binned come January and I think he ended the season at Billericay.

 

CB – Josh Heaton: A very, very expensive mistake. Stubbs paid Darlington £75,000 for him amid interest from other clubs after he impressed in the Jamie Vardy Academy. Looked out of his depth against Spartans (ironic considering he'd come from the English non-league) and I don't think he made a league appearance for us. When it turned out he was pish, claims mysteriously started appearing that we didn't pay £75,000 for him after all and that was the final figure with add-ons – despite the club trumpeting him as our most expensive signing for a quarter of a decade. Punting out on loan to some English lower-league backwater then told to piss off in the summer. Now bouncing around the English lower leagues, recently emptied by Bradford Park Avenue for saying not very nice things on Twitter.

 

LB – Luke Conlan: Like Reid, came in the Murray era and ends up here by default as we've had guys like Paul Dummett and Adam Eckersley playing leftback. Came on loan from Burnley and didn't look very good. Sent off against Morton before the end of August and I don't think he was seen again. His most useful contribution was getting called up to an under-21 squad, meaning we had enough players away to get a game postponed. Binned come January. Honourable mention to Danny Grainger, who was shite and spent half his time with us tweeting about his love for Hearts.

 

RM – Jamie McCluskey: Gets the nod because Adam Drury at least scored some goals. Liked a stepover and was very small but most remembered for celebrating a Celtic goal while watching the Old Firm game in the Saints dressing room – a moment caught by the BT cameras.

 

CM – Kyle Hutton (captain for ultimate shiteness): f**k off, keep fucking off then f**k off some more. How the hell this boy ended up on the books of Rangers is beyond me. One of the worst players I've ever seen and part of Alex Rae's staunch signing policy. Think his last appearance was against Morton when he made it quite clear he didn't want the ball. Not sure how many times the phrase “but he was Queen of the South's player of the season last year” was trotted out by straw-clutching fans on our forums (he'd won one of the near double figure awards available). Think he was sent out on loan even before January, then binned for good in the summer. Part of the Dumbarton side that lost to our under-20s this season.

 

CM – Eric Djemba-Djemba: It should probably be Stuart Carswell but Djemba-Djemba is more memorable. Signed in a blaze of glory and became a cult hero with his flat cap. Looked rubbish on his debut, gave away a penalty the following week and that was that. Had lovely, soft feet according to Danny Lennon.

 

LM – Jeff King: Not sure if he was actually a winger and don't care. Another of Stubbs' attempts to prove that English reserve and non-league side players are capable of playing in the Scottish Premiership. Not sure when or where he disappeared to once Stubbs went.

 
CF – Stephane Bahoken: Probably worse strikers played for us in the decade that merit inclusion more (Yoann Arquin and James Marwood) but I don't think they went AWOL midway through their loan spell. Looked pish on his debut, didn't get any better and buggered off come November. His loan deal was ended but his French club didn't want him so he came back, made one appearance then got “injured” and wasn't seen again. Unbelievably has turned into a decent striker in the French top flight despite barely looking like a footballer when with us.
 
CF – Nicola Brock-Madsen: Yet another of the Stubbs shite we got lumbered with. His track record looked pish, Birmingham wanted shot of him and he had not enjoyed a previous loan spell somewhere after moaning about the air quality. Made a few appearances, looked shite and wasn't prepared to fight for his place after his loan ended so off he fucked.
 


Can’t argue with any of that lot tbh.
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RM - Jeffrey Monakana - Jeffrey didn't like to pass, wasn't that quick, skillful or a good crosser. Brought in on loan by McInnes from Brighton. Just a bit rubbish.


I caught a few minutes of Dulwich Hamlet v Carlisle in the English Cup on the BBC a couple of weeks back and he was playing for the home team.

He gave us a good take on the conga song, which got a few airings on our Europa trips.

Ifil and Grassi take some beating for the worst - but we also endured short unmemorable spells having to endure dross like Maurice Ross, Jim Paterson and Stevie Smith.
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Can't really argue with any of the names for the Dons, although maybe Scott Brown for the gloves based on his performance against the Arabs at Hampden.

Tommy Wright is the worst player I've seen in a Dons shirt and Wikipedia has him as 2008-10 but I don't know if he made an appearance this decade. But still, holy fk. What made him even shitter was the roasters in the Dons support demanding that he get another chance because "he puts it about a bit" while overlooking the fact that he was patently the worst footballer ever.

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11 hours ago, Estragon said:

You were getting a greenie until this point - I'd absolutely no idea that this was the case about Mehdi, was he really shite for Hearts?!

I do actually mind him being good for Kilmarnock, and was quite excited when we got him. The very definition of the invisible man during his spell however. DdHDBUq.png

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I do actually mind him being good for Kilmarnock, and was quite excited when we got him. The very definition of the invisible man during his spell however. DdHDBUq.png&key=0150dbffce02c32d1723626f072077f26c0267924b8f03b729fe549f009bc358

Jamie Hammil was decent for us before he went to your lot too. Mind you you’ve sent us a few duds over the years as pay back.
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Medhi Taouil was ok for us but had more flair than actual impact on the game.

Jamie Hammil was a poor midfielder who by chance got moved to right back where he made a poor start.

Then Killie signed Eremenko who basically looked after the whole middle of the park allowing Medhi to float into pockets of space, which brought him on as a player.  As for Hammil, Eremenko made him look like the best right back in Scotland, sending pass after pass down the right channel for him to run on to. 

Add Conor Sammon to the list of players filed under ‘guid because of Alexei’.

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