Your team's Worst XI of the Decade

[Pull My Strings]

12 hours ago, Dele said:

I thought Kuate was very good for United just a complete nut job? 

He was a good player but his lack of discipline was ridiculous. Bit harsh to have him in a worst XI of the decade given that he only played 8 games and (I think) didn't finish on the losing side in any of those games.

[AyrTroopMajor]

GK: DAVID HUTTON  - An absolute lunatic. Fumbled his way through his career with Ayr United. Guilty of allowing some utterly powder-puff efforts slip past him, he would then spring back to his feet like peak Shawn Michaels and roar at everyone within earshot, regardless of whether they were at fault or even on the pitch. 

RB: ADAM HUNTER - Pish. His only, and I mean only, highlight was flooring the late (RIP Amigo) Arnold Peralta at Ibrox which got 45,000 H**s spewing with rage. 

CB: SCOTT McKENNA - Make no mistake, there was absolutely nothing about Scott McKenna during his time at Ayr to suggest that he was bound for anything other than a mediocre career with Burntisland Shipyard. The fact that he is now a Scotland and Aberdeen regular is still a head-scratcher for anyone who watched his spell at Somerset. Rotten.

CB: CRAIG BEATTIE - Yep. Craig Beattie. Formerly of Hearts and Celtic. A striker. Tell that to Mark Roberts, who gave Craig Beattie the number 6 shirt and made him play Centre Back for a home game against Brechin City. In a result that shocked absolutely no-one, Brechin left Somerset with a 2-0 win.

LB: KEVIN McKINLAY - Absolutely howling defender. The fact that Stirling Albion took him off our hands halfway through the 2014/15 season was probably the highlight of that year.

RM: ANTHONY MARENGHI - Struggled a bit with this one but feel compelled to mention Anthony Marenghi who, and I am not exaggerating, tore Premier League Motherwell a new one in a pre-season friendly and left us thinking that we had signed a magician. Nope. Shite.

CM: PAUL CAIRNEY - Scraped through the Playoff Final in 2016 having been given the runaround by Stranraer for the full 210 minutes. Ian McCall decided to take Paul Cairney, one of Stranraer's main men in that final, in the hope that he could be the key to unlocking Championship defences. The significantly overweight Cairney contributed very little to our team and was promptly binned after our inevitable relegation.

CM: GARY HARKINS - An absolute charlatan. Seems to be that he is either a huge hit at a club or a catastrophic failure. Sadly, in this instance he was a complete waste of a shirt. Was very heavily scrutinised due to the significant wage that he was on, and failed to live up to the talisman figure that Ian McCall hoped he would be. 

LM: JUNIOR MENDES - Only just makes the list as he was gone by the summer of 2010 following yet another relegation. On the final day of the 2009/10 season, Ayr travelled to Cappielow needing a win to stay up. At 2-1 down, Junior Mendes walked off the pitch because he needed to renew the tape on his wrists. Not his socks. His WRISTS. Shockingly enough, we lost and went down.

ST: KEVIN KYLE - A disaster of a signing, one of many made by Mark Roberts. Kyle arrived from Rangers and made it his mission to lambast every single member of the team for any minor errors they may or may not have made. His finishing was suspect, his work rate was questionable and his inclusion on this list is absolutely justified.

ST: DAVID WINTERS - Many an Ayr fan would probably chuck Farid El Alagui in here, but I would disagree entirely. Farid arrived in January of 2017 and scored 3 goals in 11 games in the Championship, in a team that were struggling badly. David Winters, on the other hand, only managed one more goal than El Alagui despite making 30 appearances for the club, and at a lower level as well. A jobber who belonged in the Juniors, and that is exactly where he headed after leaving (via 1 appearance for Queen's Park).

 

Honourable mentions to Jonathan 'On the Register' Tiffoney, Austin McCann, Gordon Pope and all the other utterly useless donkeys that have contributed to a decade which featured two relegations and coming within a bawhair of League Two status.

[ecto]

GK: DAVID HUTTON  - An absolute lunatic. Fumbled his way through his career with Ayr United. Guilty of allowing some utterly powder-puff efforts slip past him, he would then spring back to his feet like peak Shawn Michaels and roar at everyone within earshot, regardless of whether they were at fault or even on the pitch. 

RB: ADAM HUNTER - Pish. His only, and I mean only, highlight was flooring the late (RIP Amigo) Arnold Peralta at Ibrox which got 45,000 H**s spewing with rage. 

CB: SCOTT McKENNA - Make no mistake, there was absolutely nothing about Scott McKenna during his time at Ayr to suggest that he was bound for anything other than a mediocre career with Burntisland Shipyard. The fact that he is now a Scotland and Aberdeen regular is still a head-scratcher for anyone who watched his spell at Somerset. Rotten.

CB: CRAIG BEATTIE - Yep. Craig Beattie. Formerly of Hearts and Celtic. A striker. Tell that to Mark Roberts, who gave Craig Beattie the number 6 shirt and made him play Centre Back for a home game against Brechin City. In a result that shocked absolutely no-one, Brechin left Somerset with a 2-0 win.

LB: KEVIN McKINLAY - Absolutely howling defender. The fact that Stirling Albion took him off our hands halfway through the 2014/15 season was probably the highlight of that year.

RM: ANTHONY MARENGHI - Struggled a bit with this one but feel compelled to mention Anthony Marenghi who, and I am not exaggerating, tore Premier League Motherwell a new one in a pre-season friendly and left us thinking that we had signed a magician. Nope. Shite.

CM: PAUL CAIRNEY - Scraped through the Playoff Final in 2016 having been given the runaround by Stranraer for the full 210 minutes. Ian McCall decided to take Paul Cairney, one of Stranraer's main men in that final, in the hope that he could be the key to unlocking Championship defences. The significantly overweight Cairney contributed very little to our team and was promptly binned after our inevitable relegation.

CM: GARY HARKINS - An absolute charlatan. Seems to be that he is either a huge hit at a club or a catastrophic failure. Sadly, in this instance he was a complete waste of a shirt. Was very heavily scrutinised due to the significant wage that he was on, and failed to live up to the talisman figure that Ian McCall hoped he would be. 

LM: JUNIOR MENDES - Only just makes the list as he was gone by the summer of 2010 following yet another relegation. On the final day of the 2009/10 season, Ayr travelled to Cappielow needing a win to stay up. At 2-1 down, Junior Mendes walked off the pitch because he needed to renew the tape on his wrists. Not his socks. His WRISTS. Shockingly enough, we lost and went down.

ST: KEVIN KYLE - A disaster of a signing, one of many made by Mark Roberts. Kyle arrived from Rangers and made it his mission to lambast every single member of the team for any minor errors they may or may not have made. His finishing was suspect, his work rate was questionable and his inclusion on this list is absolutely justified.

ST: DAVID WINTERS - Many an Ayr fan would probably chuck Farid El Alagui in here, but I would disagree entirely. Farid arrived in January of 2017 and scored 3 goals in 11 games in the Championship, in a team that were struggling badly. David Winters, on the other hand, only managed one more goal than El Alagui despite making 30 appearances for the club, and at a lower level as well. A jobber who belonged in the Juniors, and that is exactly where he headed after leaving (via 1 appearance for Queen's Park).

 

Honourable mentions to Jonathan 'On the Register' Tiffoney, Austin McCann, Gordon Pope and all the other utterly useless donkeys that have contributed to a decade which featured two relegations and coming within a bawhair of League Two status.

Surprised at Hunter being on the list, came to us played centre mid, was very good

[Central Belt Caley]

GK: Owain Fon Williams

Right back - Brad McKay

Centre back - Danny Devine

Centre back - Matty Elsdon

Left back - Andre Blackman

Right Midfield - Claude Gnakpa

Centre midfield - Dan Stratford

Centre midfield - Liam Hughes

Left midfield - Alex Cooper

Striker - Scott Boden

Striker - Curtis Allen

Subs:
Ben Greenhalgh
Jason Oswell
Simon King
Ryan Williams
Dani Lopez
Zscuhen
George Brislen-Hall

[Wasp97]

Could name all of Danny Lennon’s signings here but that might be too easy That being said

Gk John Gibson
Rb Kyle McAusland
Cb Dougie Hill
Cb Zac Karadacki
Lb Colin Hamilton
Rm Aaron Lynas
Cm Burton Obrien
Cm Connor McManus
Lm Adam Brown
St Issac Layne
St Ross Caldwell

[TheScarf]

Quite why Danny Devine is not on every single ICT, Partick and Dunfermline fans list is a mystery to me. 

He is, without doubt, the worst defender I have ever seen. 

[dundeeunited83]

Attempted to pick a team not with guys that were just shite, but that played far too often!
 
 

Paul Paton and kuate, really???

Rabitsch, kuhl, Briels all worse by a absolute country mile

[TheScarf]

Paul Paton is terrible. 

[Sir Tarmo Kink]

GK: Owain Fon Williams

Right back - Brad McKay

Centre back - Danny Devine

Centre back - Matty Elsdon

Left back - Andre Blackman

Right Midfield - Claude Gnakpa

Centre midfield - Dan Stratford

Centre midfield - Liam Hughes

Left midfield - Alex Cooper

Striker - Scott Boden

Striker - Curtis Allen

Subs:
Ben Greenhalgh
Jason Oswell
Simon King
Ryan Williams
Dani Lopez
Zscuhen
George Brislen-Hall

Probably harsh on King (who looked okay but got injured and retired), Brislen-Hall (who I don’t think ever played) and Curtis Allen (who didn’t play at all either).

Williams and Oswell are another two who rarely played, but weren’t up to much when they did.

I forgot to mention Gil Blumehnstein or whatever he was called.

[Poet of the Macabre]

17 hours ago, ICTChris said:

MF - Dan Stratford.  Signed by Butcher after we were relegated in 2009, he was just a nothing player, totally nondescript, good at nothing, just a space filler.  When we won the league that season, Butcher introduced all the players on the day we got the trophy with a little line about them ("the fastest, best winger in the league Jonny Hayes... deadly goalscorer Adam Rooney" that sort of thing.  When Startford came up Buthcer said "It's Danny Stratford... he's a great guy!".

Love this.

16 hours ago, DAFC. said:

Paddy Boyle

Very harsh, especially considering the way he was treated by the club.

[GrahamJags]

Mine would be:

Thorsten Stuckmann

Milan Nitriansky, Danny Devine, Sean McGinty, Jake Carroll

Mark Kerr, Hugh Murray, Adam Barton (second season)

Miles Storey, Matias Pogba, John Baird

Subs: David Crawford, Dan Jeffries, Jai Quitongo, David Wilson, Gabriel Piccolo, Jason Banton, Ally Roy

Edited November 21, 2019 by GrahamJags

[Central Belt Caley]

Probably harsh on King (who looked okay but got injured and retired), Brislen-Hall (who I don’t think ever played) and Curtis Allen (who didn’t play at all either).

Williams and Oswell are another two who rarely played, but weren’t up to much when they did.

I forgot to mention Gil Blumehnstein or whatever he was called.

Probably is a bit harsh on King couldn’t really think of anyone else.

Completely forgot about Blumsthein, looking through some of the other players we’ve signed. Anyone remember Aiden Chippendale? [emoji23]

[dundeeunited83]

Paul Paton is terrible. 

Part of one of the most exciting united teams I’ve seen, certainly not in the worst united team of the decade

[Lancashirearab]

1 hour ago, dundeeunited83 said:

Paul Paton and kuate, really???

Rabitsch, kuhl, Briels all worse by a absolute country mile

I think he means that Paton stayed too long and was bloody awful in the latter part of his United career. 

Overall,  not in the worst, but he was spectacularly awful at the end.

[AyrTroopMajor]

56 minutes ago, GrahamJags said:

Mine would be:

Thorsten Stuckmann

Milan Nitriansky, Danny Devine, Sean McGinty, Jake Carroll

Mark Kerr, Hugh Murray, Adam Barton (second season)

Miles Storey, Matias Pogba, John Baird

Subs: David Crawford, Dan Jeffries, Jai Quitongo, David Wilson, Gabriel Piccolo, Jason Banton, Ally Roy

Will fight you.

[AyrTroopMajor]

2 hours ago, ecto said:

Surprised at Hunter being on the list, came to us played centre mid, was very good

To be fair to him, he was perhaps played out of position and was also not helped by being part of one of the worst Ayr teams of all time. Still though, rancid. Was a toss-up between him and Kyle McAusland.

[DAFC.]

Very harsh, especially considering the way he was treated by the club.

Who else is there at left back? Austin McCann, Lewis Martin, Jackson Longridge, Danny Grainger, Stephen Jordan, Jason Talbot were all good for us. I’ve probably forgotten young boys that were probably thrown in there due to admin, but I wouldn’t even count them.

[Nat Weederburn]

Jim Paterson was a world class LB for us...

[ALOREBURNE]

Rushed a bit, but these players are jumping out at me.

[captainkev]

1 hour ago, Lancashirearab said:

I think he means that Paton stayed too long and was bloody awful in the latter part of his United career. 

Overall,  not in the worst, but he was spectacularly awful at the end.

Paton was/is hideously limited, totally unable to use his left foot, but I still wouldn't have him near this list. That his eventual return from injury in our relegation season co-incided with a brief upturn in results for me suggests we should look elsewhere for candidates for this particular team.

The spine of my worst United XI of the decade would however undoubtedly include Szromnik, Donaldson*, Kuhl and Lyng. Kuate wouldn't make the cut as there were flashes of quality from him, and he looked capable of thriving at this level if he'd just knuckled down and focused. Kuate's biggest problem was that he thought he was a world beater, who'd wound up playing in the Scottish Championship by some freak accident.

*Yes ICT fans, we know he's been quite good for you, but it doesn't change how much of a bomb scare Donaldson was for us.

Edited November 21, 2019 by captainkev