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Jan Vojáček

Your Worst XI of the Decade

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 A few clubs and papers are having a bit of fun by coming up with a side featuring their worst players of the 2010s. But we all know it's far more fun to get tore into the no marks, diddies and disappointments to have ruined our hopes by staggering around for our clubs in that same time period.

So here goes my best effort...

GK. Mark Brown - There's a wee bit of competition for the number one jersey, but I'm going to go for Mark Brown. He had been a pretty regular fixture in the Premiership for a decent chunk of his career prior to signing up at the Rock, and on paper looked like a good bit of business. Oh good lord how wrong we were. I don't know whether it was adjusting to part-time football, falling out of love with the game or what, but he had a torrid time. He looked a big bag of nerves anytime he went for a high ball, spent a lot of time glued to his line and lost his place to Jamie Ewings - who hadn't played for over 14 months. Oh and we signed him on a two year deal too. A disaster of a signing.

RB. Craig Pettigrew - I still remember at the time saying how much we'd regret letting Scott Taggart go. And then we went and replaced him with Craig Pettigrew. He was 27 or something, hadn't played above League One and Stranraer fans were hardly bothered to see him go. Quite why Stevie Aitken thought he was what a Championship team needed at right-back only he will know. Needless to say Pettigrew was well, well out of his depth. He was routinely sent twisting and turning by bog standard Championship players and pretty quickly lost his place at right-back to David Smith. Vanished back to Stranraer in January and is now at Kilwinning or something.

LB. Willie Dyer - We had an awful lot poor players last season, but Willie Dyer was the worst imqho. Not only was he poor defensively his distribution was appalling and he regularly dangled a leg or jumped out the way of challenges. Vanished after turning his back on a shot against Forfar (that looped off him and into the net) in January and was never seen again in a Dumbarton shirt. I'm pretty sure his only meaningful contribution to DFC will have been injuring Sam Wardrop for the Challenge Cup final with a pretty crude challenge during one of our wins against Brechin a few years ago. Now with East Stirlingshire.

CB. Allan McManus - Note to other clubs. Never sign a player who has retired. If it doesn't work with Iain Russell it will not work with Allan McManus. He was about 57 or something when we signed him, and was previously on the management team at Morton with James Grady. Not only was he totally done and a rotten defender, he also seemed to spend his entire time on the pitch blaming everyone else for his failings. Poor Ben Gordon looked a broken man alongside him.

CB. Ross Forsyth - I've had to move Ross Forsyth to a position he only played a few times for us purely to squeeze him into the side. Signed at the same time as Andy Graham from Morton, I think it's safe to assume that we all know his arrival didn't turn out quite as well. Apparently he made 14 appearances for us. Almost all of which were totally forgettable. I'm fairly certain he scored an injury time own goal for us against Airdrie in Jack Ross' first game in charge though that meant we lost 4-3 having been 2-0 and 3-2 up. But that aside all I remember is a feeling of disappointment when I saw his name on the teamsheet.

RM. Ryan Borris - If this had been a 2000-2010 team of all stars then Ryan Borris could've been in and around the squad. But it's not. So he isn't. Borris returned in the summer of 2011, and played the first few friendlies as a left-back. Nope I have literally no idea either. Wild crosses that flew out for throw ins and ambitious shots from about 35 yards that never  ended up anywhere near the target were his speciality when he returned - and his spell ended with him being subbed after coming on as a sub, throwing his shirt at Alan Adamson and walking off crying. I feel bad because he's a likeable guy...But his return was so disappointing.

LM. Michael Paton - I am downright staggered and shocked that Michael Paton is currently a regular in the SPFL Championship. Like most Sons fans I was really chuffed when we brought him in, he'd been a really handy player for Queen of the South and Dunfermline Athletic - and brought yet more quality to a squad that had an abundance of it going forward at this level. In reality however his time couldn't have gone an awful lot worse. He huffed and puffed but looked woefully unfit, his end product was poor and he was downright immobile at times. We played him at RB and he got sent off for two bookings in 60 minutes. We played him in CM and he produced one of the worst performances I've ever seen. A week later he was back on the wing, jumped out a challenge, pretended to be injured, played on, got hooked at half-time and that was that. I don't know if he just needed full-time training or what - but it did not work at all.

CM. Nicky Phinn - What on earth was Nicky Phinn made of? In fact what was he all about? He came in from nowhere to Ian Murray's sensational great escape merchants. Started a few games, looked alright, then vanished, reappeared as a trialist, signed a deal and then vanished again. I think he was fit for about five games in a year. Looked alright when he was to be fair, but goes in the team based on a few factors: Never being fit, being a bizarre signing out of nowhere, not doing much when he was fit and being someone literally every other Dumbarton fan (aside from OKI) will have forgotten about.

CM. Mati Zata - Ah a member of the current squad. Hello Mati Zata. He still has time to change it around, but I've never seen a footballer who actively avoids touching the ball as much as Mati Zata. We timed it in the Motherwell game and he went for well over half an hour without touching the ball - before cannoning a volley over his own crossbar from the edge of the box. Also seen shepherding a ball out of play for a Queen of the South throw-in. Thankfully Duffy noticed that pretty quickly and he has played the grand total of 10 minutes of league football this season.

ST. Paul Maxwell - Paul Maxwell was, I think, 26, when we signed him from Ashfield Juniors. And I'm still not quite sure why we did it. He was a good juniors striker. Pure and simple. He scored a lot of goals for Ashfield, he scored a decent number for Irvine Meadow. But that was it. There was nothing about him that ever suggested he was up to League One football and I still really have no idea at all what Jim Chapman saw in him. He was tall and ungainly (rich coming from me, I accept), struggled to control a ball, was pretty easily knocked around and even scored as many goals against us as he did for us. I still remember the sheer disbelief when he picked up Man of the Match against Airdrie (in 1-3 defeat) after scoring his first goal from us. Which went in off the crossbar...from three yards. Started Jim Chapman's last game for us, was hooked after 49 minutes and was never seen again in a Dumbarton top.

ST. Rory Loy - Unlike Maxwell, Rory Loy looked like a fantastic signing. A guy with a proven calibre as a Championship and Premiership player, only just 30, turning up at a League One side. Any club in the division last year would've bitten your hands off for him. He had to wait for his debut after injury, but came on as a sub against Kilmarnock and was fantastic. Played a huge part in our second goal (arguably the best worked we scored under Aitken), was winning cheap fouls and working defenders all over the shop. His early performances didn't lack effort...but they did lack goals. And the longer that drought went on, the more his confidence dropped. Then he picked up a serious back injury. Vanished and was released early from his two year deal this summer. I'm still gutted it didn't work out; he seemed a really nice guy, and it wasn't his fault, but he earns a place in this side.

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I tend to score the horrible ones from memory, so I find myself agreeing with a lot of what you've said there. I'd probably have Forsyth at left back over Willie Dyer and Aidan Wilson in at centre back. I also think it's harsh putting Loy in there, I'd have the Stevie's, Craig and Ross before him.

It just doesn't feel right putting Ryan Borris in this team, regardless of what went down during his second stint. Phil Johnston for me.

EDIT - In fact no, was Darren Gribben with us in the last 10 years? That thieving c**t can take Loys place.

Edited by The Moonster

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I could probably name a 23 man squad tbh. Let's try and narrow it down to 11.

JC Hutchison

Phil Johnston
John Kane
Murray Henderson
Ricky Waddell

Steven Brisbane
David Sinclair
Darren Miller

Mark Archdeacon
Kieran McGachie
John Stewart

Ask me again and I could probably name a completely different 11 :lol: Nik Rajovic and John Gibson would definitely join JC in the 23 man squad. Christ we'd still concede 3+ a game with all 3 of them in at the same time.
 

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20 minutes ago, The Moonster said:

I tend to score the horrible ones from memory, so I find myself agreeing with a lot of what you've said there. I'd probably have Forsyth at left back over Willie Dyer and Aidan Wilson in at centre back. I also think it's harsh putting Loy in there, I'd have the Stevie's, Craig and Ross before him.

It just doesn't feel right putting Ryan Borris in this team, regardless of what went down during his second stint. Phil Johnston for me.

EDIT - In fact no, was Darren Gribben with us in the last 10 years? That thieving c**t can take Loys place.

Aidan Wilson is a great shout actually. I totally forgot all about him. I'd be tempted to include him in place of Forsyth, but I'd keep Dyer at LB. At least Forsyth was garbage at a higher level.

I felt terrible putting both Loy and Borris in there. But both get in on account of looking like exciting signings on paper, and then being worse than we ever imagined they would be. 

Gribben arrived and left in the summer of 2009 I'm afraid. So the dream Gribben/Maxwell strikeforce will have to wait.

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1 hour ago, Jan Vojáček said:

 

LB. Willie Dyer - .... I'm pretty sure his only meaningful contribution to DFC will have been injuring Sam Wardrop for the Challenge Cup final with a pretty crude challenge during one of our wins against Brechin a few years ago. 

Not quite. He also, under no pressure whatsoever, managed to pass a harmless Dumbarton cross into his own net, at 0-0 in the 89th minute at the Glebe during our ill-fated championship season. What a difference another point might have made. Was a decent servant for Brechin until that final year when he went off the boil in serious fashion (though he was not alone in that) 

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Graham Smith 

 

Kevin Mchattie

Ross Perry

Craig Wedderburn

Reece Donaldson 

 

Joe Hamill

Jordan Thomson

John Herron

Chris Johnston 

 

Yaw Osei

Declan Mcmanus

 

Some harsh ones there probably. 

 

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Braw idea for a thread

GK: Andy McNeil 

Going into the tail end of our second season in the Championship we were neck and neck with Dunfermline. Then McGlynn decided to f**k about with the goalkeepers and take out future hall of famer David McGurn to replace him with Andy McNeil. Consequently, Andy decided to do his best to make a hash of any high ball into the box. Ryan Stevenson looked more assured in goals for 90 minutes than him. Memories include getting done by a Dundee team featuring a 36 year old Neil McCann and Cowdenbeath where he sliced a simple clearance right out to their forward. We ended up losing the league by ten points, but it could have been so much different. 

LB: Kevin McHattie

McHattie arrived to us almost immediately after Gary Locke started his reign of errors. A local lad, he'd previously been at Hearts and Kilmarnock before joining his old manager for a third time. He scored a peach up at Dundee United and did some form of wizardry against Queen of the South at home which I'm not sure how to describe (a Cruyff turn into a rabona or something), but by and large he had no defensive ability at all. He's ended up at Caley Thistle, who are coincidentally managed  by another Hearts legend. 

RB:  Thierry Gatheussi

09/10 season but I'm including him because all of our right backs since then have managed to rack up some degree of consistency or were playing there in a secondary position. Gatheussi put in an excellent display against Dundee in the Scottish Cup, but aside from that was pretty awful.  In the days before Youtube highlights before every game, he seemingly put in an awful display against Airdrie and was never seen again. 

CB: Ross Perry

Never have I waited so patiently for a 6 month contract to expire. Perry arrived after coming from Rangers youth team (somehow he played in the Europa League - unsurprisingly Rangers were knocked out against Maribor) and time at Falkirk. Their fans reassured us he was an utter shitebag. Initially, you wanted to give the lad time but week by week he was putting in awful displays. His final game for us saw him sent off after 2 minutes as we got hammered 5-1 at home to Livingston. 

CB: Craig Wedderburn

Wedderburn was a youth player who got thrust into first team action in 09/10 and he was utterly rotten. At college, I overheard him bragging to people that he was a professional footballer. We went away to Morton and got pumped 5-0 with Wedderburn putting in an utter horror show in defence. Quite probably, the most out of their depth player I've ever seen. 

LM:  Scott Roberts

Another Ibrox loanee and another who was utterly rotten. I've never seen a winger who was so uninspiring. Initially he came in for 6 months, he scored one goal and then warmed the bench. Our director Eric Drysdale decided it would be an excellent idea to bring him back permanently along with Jordan Thompson (who we'll come to later) and Ryan Hardie on loan in a swap deal for future Scotland international David Bates. This culminated in quite possibly the worst press release I've ever seen in Scottish Football where he broke this news while simultaneously praising a manager who'd not won since October and slagging our fans for not buying up tickets to a Scottish Cup tie against Hearts (where we were marketing a hospitality featuring a Q&A with Skacel and Locke for Jambos). 

RM: Chris Johnstone

Nicknamed 'Mini Messi' during his time at Killie, Chris Johnstone arrived with a reputation of being a tricky winger. He left after one season where he looked like an absolutely lost child. Utterly pea hearted and happy on the pitch, he's since made it his sole purpose in life to wind up our fans on Twitter. At least he's good at something. 

CM: Jordan Thompson

Somehow, Jordan Thompson became an international footballer. Another loanee from Rangers who put scored one wondergoal and then seemed content to wait to not bother his arse. 

CM:  Jamie Barjonas

The final loanee from Rangers. Recently signed an extension at Ibrox. Lumbered about the pitch during the second half of last season doing very little. 

FW: Rudi Skacel

In the reign of errors, Gary Locke decided that his best option to pin his hopes on for the season on 37 year old Rudi Skacel. This was a player who hadn't made a first team appearance in two years and it showed. Left without ever scoring a goal for us. 

FW:  Yaw Osei

"Why don't we play Osei?" would sometimes get mentioned if we were trailing in a game. He had one attribute which was pace, but aside from that he looked utterly lost with no positional awareness. 

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Braw idea for a thread
GK: Andy McNeil 
Going into the tail end of our second season in the Championship we were neck and neck with Dunfermline. Then McGlynn decided to f**k about with the goalkeepers and take out future hall of famer David McGurn to replace him with Andy McNeil. Consequently, Andy decided to do his best to make a hash of any high ball into the box. Ryan Stevenson looked more assured in goals for 90 minutes than him. Memories include getting done by a Dundee team featuring a 36 year old Neil McCann and Cowdenbeath where he sliced a simple clearance right out to their forward. We ended up losing the league by ten points, but it could have been so much different. 
LB: Kevin McHattie
McHattie arrived to us almost immediately after Gary Locke started his reign of errors. A local lad, he'd previously been at Hearts and Kilmarnock before joining his old manager for a third time. He scored a peach up at Dundee United and did some form of wizardry against Queen of the South at home which I'm not sure how to describe (a Cruyff turn into a rabona or something), but by and large he had no defensive ability at all. He's ended up at Caley Thistle, who are coincidentally managed  by another Hearts legend. 
RB:  Thierry Gatheussi
09/10 season but I'm including him because all of our right backs since then have managed to rack up some degree of consistency or were playing there in a secondary position. Gatheussi put in an excellent display against Dundee in the Scottish Cup, but aside from that was pretty awful.  In the days before Youtube highlights before every game, he seemingly put in an awful display against Airdrie and was never seen again. 
CB: Ross Perry
Never have I waited so patiently for a 6 month contract to expire. Perry arrived after coming from Rangers youth team (somehow he played in the Europa League - unsurprisingly Rangers were knocked out against Maribor) and time at Falkirk. Their fans reassured us he was an utter shitebag. Initially, you wanted to give the lad time but week by week he was putting in awful displays. His final game for us saw him sent off after 2 minutes as we got hammered 5-1 at home to Livingston. 
CB: Craig Wedderburn
Wedderburn was a youth player who got thrust into first team action in 09/10 and he was utterly rotten. At college, I overheard him bragging to people that he was a professional footballer. We went away to Morton and got pumped 5-0 with Wedderburn putting in an utter horror show in defence. Quite probably, the most out of their depth player I've ever seen. 
LM:  Scott Roberts
Another Ibrox loanee and another who was utterly rotten. I've never seen a winger who was so uninspiring. Initially he came in for 6 months, he scored one goal and then warmed the bench. Our director Eric Drysdale decided it would be an excellent idea to bring him back permanently along with Jordan Thompson (who we'll come to later) and Ryan Hardie on loan in a swap deal for future Scotland international David Bates. This culminated in quite possibly the worst press release I've ever seen in Scottish Football where he broke this news while simultaneously praising a manager who'd not won since October and slagging our fans for not buying up tickets to a Scottish Cup tie against Hearts (where we were marketing a hospitality featuring a Q&A with Skacel and Locke for Jambos). 
RM: Chris Johnstone
Nicknamed 'Mini Messi' during his time at Killie, Chris Johnstone arrived with a reputation of being a tricky winger. He left after one season where he looked like an absolutely lost child. Utterly pea hearted and happy on the pitch, he's since made it his sole purpose in life to wind up our fans on Twitter. At least he's good at something. 
CM: Jordan Thompson
Somehow, Jordan Thompson became an international footballer. Another loanee from Rangers who put scored one wondergoal and then seemed content to wait to not bother his arse. 
CM:  Jamie Barjonas
The final loanee from Rangers. Recently signed an extension at Ibrox. Lumbered about the pitch during the second half of last season doing very little. 
FW: Rudi Skacel
In the reign of errors, Gary Locke decided that his best option to pin his hopes on for the season on 37 year old Rudi Skacel. This was a player who hadn't made a first team appearance in two years and it showed. Left without ever scoring a goal for us. 
FW:  Yaw Osei
"Why don't we play Osei?" would sometimes get mentioned if we were trailing in a game. He had one attribute which was pace, but aside from that he looked utterly lost with no positional awareness. 


Agree with all that. Another player that’s popped into my head...Scott McBride.

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1 hour ago, Infirmary Street said:

Not quite. He also, under no pressure whatsoever, managed to pass a harmless Dumbarton cross into his own net, at 0-0 in the 89th minute at the Glebe during our ill-fated championship season. What a difference another point might have made. Was a decent servant for Brechin until that final year when he went off the boil in serious fashion (though he was not alone in that) 

Of course! He turned in a Chris McLaughlin cross as well. Seems like that left-back swap hasn't worked out too well for either of us.

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Picked a worst eleven, of our very own Banter years, for another thread recently and have had to jettison a few for not falling within the timeline. Some (Adam Coakley, Mark Casey) fell agonisingly short. I wish I could have included them.

J.C. Hutchison. The goalkeeper for the Scotland Junior side, arguably the best 'keeper at that level according to experts. He had an absolute nightmare on his league debut, with Clyde 2-0 up he took multiple touches on a back-pass before being tackled, allowing Stranraer back into a match they earned a draw from. In one of his final games, he conspired with trialist Gavin Brown to produce the goal that can be seen after 22s of THIS clip; one of the worst goals Clyde have ever conceded. An absolutely dreadful goalkeeper, who also had an 8 goal battering from Montrose on his CV.

John Kane. At a time when we had no money and could only really compete with the Shire, signing a versatile defender, with a veritable glut of games at Stranraer, seemed like an addition which at worst would give us some squad depth. We spent a chunk of the season with a competent right back in Gavin Brown foisted out to the left side. Kane was desperately poor, literally had no redeeming qualities as a footballer, but seemed to fancy himself as some sort of player. Things peaked in a match at Stirling when he launched into a tirade of abuse at a team-mate, and was rightly shouted down by the Clyde support for being garbage himself. Basically wasn't seen again after that.

Connor Cassidy. Supporters across the lower leagues go on about the importance of having productive youth systems. I think they're a waste of time. Clyde have basically "produced" no-one other than a series of absolute duds, who haven't came close to a league career (see Ged Traynor, Billy Robb, Jack Sloss, Jack Currie, Drew Ramsay and countless others). Connor Cassidy wasn't any worse, but is in here as the representative of those wastes of time and money. A reflection on club, rather than players.

Murray Henderson. Stuart Miller's pal from Stranraer was clearly past it when he showed up at Broadwood. I appreciate he did okay elsewhere but by the time we signed him, he, almost literally, couldn't turn. Or run. Fortunately played very few games, but was an absolute disaster when he did play (including selling a penalty against Elgin in one of the few games we looked like earning a win from).

Craig Wedderburn. If there was one standout feature of Jim Duffy's tenure at Clyde, it was the quality of centre half he brought in. McQueen, Gallagher, Marr, Fordyce, Lamie, Marsh. That's perhaps why Wedderburn stands out. Had a decent debut, then a nightmare as we lost (AGAIN) to QP, then a complete chasing at East Stirlingshire. Couldn't seem to work out which foot was which, rubbish in the air for a big guy. Vanished. 

Ryan Kane. Not our youth product, but still another highly vaunted player for some sub appearances for Morton. Part of the bizarre summer when we announced six new additions with no fanfare, all in one website post. Turned up at Clyde, complete with an impressive first friendly, step-overs and yellow boots. The rest of the year he ran around a lot, without ever looking like he'd put a cross in that didn't arc straight out of play. A winger with 27 appearances, no goals and no assists? On your way please, to the juniors.

Kyle Ferguson. Not many people were there to see Kyle Ferguson make his debut in a Challenge cup game against the Thistle colts. For 5 minutes, he strode around like he owned the pitch; nowhere near the ball, but impressive regardless. For the rest, his un-coordinated bambi legs were tied asunder by Thistle's youth team. The only reason he was anywhere near Clyde was his Dad, who I think was using him as some sort of training cone. Last seen heading off on one of those fabled "scholarships" to the USA.

Ryan Finnie. Another with a decent reputation, could play right back or midfield, and one of Barry Ferguson's last attempts to fix the situation he had created at Clyde. He was basically a man down defensively, and clearly couldn't care less. With Clyde trailing 1-0 deep in stoppage time of a crucial match at Cowdenbeath, he swanned forward with the ball and lamped it to Kelty from 35 yards out. Don't think he was remotely bothered that our last chance to gain a point, and possibly survival, had gone. Ended up playing football in Australia the year after which rubbed it in even further.

Paul McMullan. Berwick Rangers absolutely destroyed us twice in Stuart Miller's reign, with McMullan a devilish left-wing presence. Due to work, he became available in January and we signed him. We all cried, "Incredible signing! Did you see what he did to Ally Park?!". Broke his foot on his debut, and came back the following season overweight, to an embarrassing extent, and suddenly couldn't beat a player at all. Moved on soon after and was a frustratingly decent player for Elgin.

Mark Archdeacon. Motherwell's youth system can take a hammering as well. How this non-event of a footballer ever played youth team games for a Premier league club is beyond me. Awful first touch, no pace, skill, strength. I can't think of one thing about him which suggested he wouldn't end up simply playing the game for fun, apart from having a semi-famous father.

Eddie Ferns. Another with a reasonable pedigree of lower league club, signed by the wonderful Danny Lennon who knew him well. The fact he'd only started 70 games in his 7 year professional career should have set off alarm bells. He had tonnes of pace, but always (and I mean always) fell over the ball. Literally couldn't dribble despite his pace. Live on telly, with us trailing Motherwell 2-1 and stoppage time approaching, the brave Ferns found himself clean through on goal, only to bottle it and square a pass to no-one. It would have knocked them out, and given us a rare result against a top division side. Coward. Ended up at Saint Rocks soon after.

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We have had so many players in this decade that it could be several worst teams. I am off to watch the Scotland game but I might as well nominate the team that lost 2-7 to Albion rovers in 2011-12 ( I think) which included Conor Fairley in goals ( allegedly) and Rhys Devlin/Graeme Owens in midfield. I can't bear to look back at the rest.  Marco Andreonii come to mind as a Dundee Utd reject. I also agree about Jordan Thomson comment from Raith fan. A lot of research needed before I have a whole team . Good thread.

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David W

Please ignore this as I have misunderstood your point about centre halfs.

"Most of the names you mention are obviously unknown to me, but in amongst your dodgy centre halfs during their  Clyde time is Ricky Lamie . He was poorly treated by Jimmy Boyle when with Airdrie but somehow has carved out a career in back fours at Morton and then Livingston."  We managed  also to waste the talented Alan Trouten in that season . 

Edited by Chapelhall chap
Lack of understanding

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Plenty of candidates to choose from :lol: 

GK

Leo Fasan - When your midfield is non-existent and your defense is hopeless, you need a decent keeper between the sticks. Unfortunately he couldn't catch a cold, making mistakes in most of the 13 games he played for us and lost some crucial goals with his uselessness. 

RB

Jason Marr - Signed on loan from Celtic and was shit. Should have retired when he got the roasting of a lifetime from Joe Cardle. Is now in the juniors. 

CH  

Ross Perry - Signed on loan from Rangers and was shit. Is now in the juniors at the same club as Marr.

CH

Tom Dallison - Came from Brighton and certainly looked the part. Tall, possibly tattooed and a slightly less good looking version of Lee Miller. It all appeared so promising...then we saw him play. He couldn't run, jump, pass the ball or defend. Somehow getting a gig for Crawley in League Two these days. 

LB

Joe Chalmers - See Jason Marr. Incredibly, he was keeping Stephen Kingsley out of the Scotland under 21 squad at the time. Our support could only assume Billy Stark was actually blind. Seems to have transitioned in to a reasonable central midfielder, currently playing for Ross County.

RM

Fraser Aird - Clearly had footballing ability but deserves his place in here for being a moronic sectarian fuckwit. Currently at Dundee United.

CM

Ruben Sammut - Came from Chelsea on loan and the Falkirk support expected big things. Sadly for us he had no passing ability, no drive, no creativity, no goal threat. A completely pointless player. Supposedly on £20k a week at Chelsea as well. Now at Sunderland amazingly. 

CM

Owain Tudor-Jones - A quite terrible player who got a bad injury shortly after signing for us and subsequently retired. Massively saved Houston's blushes because he was stinking.

LM 

Dan Turner - Plenty of interest around this signing whether we were going to pay compensation to Port Vale or if it would be a loan deal for this 'promising' young player. It ended up being the latter, thankfully. Now at Hyde United in the 7th tier of English football. 

ST

Taylor Morgan - Lacked any sort of footballing ability or goalscoring instinct. Did manage two goals for Airdrie at this level and just pips some other strong candidates here. Unsurprisingly, he is currently without a club.

ST

Marcus Haber - A promising debut against Inverness followed by some of the laziest performances I have ever seen from a Falkirk player. Genuinely couldn't have tried any less, it wasn't apparent until later that he had already got his next contract lined up with another club in his native Canada. The definition of a wage thief.

Honourable mentions have to go to Jamie MacDonald (included for his total lack of kicking ability and for costing us the Scottish Cup), Kevin McCann, Mhedi Khalis, Mark Durnan, Paul Dixon, Alex Harris, Paul Paton, Dennon Lewis, Rakish Bingham, Dylan Mackin and Rory Boulding. A 'second-worst-11' of the decade if you will. Hopefully I haven't missed anyone.

Edited by NavyBlueArmy1876

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Stupendous thread idea, here we go..

GK: DAVID HUTTON  - An absolute lunatic. Fumbled his way through his career with Ayr United. Guilty of allowing some utterly powder-puff efforts slip past him, he would then spring back to his feet like peak Shawn Michaels and roar at everyone within earshot, regardless of whether they were at fault or even on the pitch. 

RB: ADAM HUNTER - Pish. His only, and I mean only, highlight was flooring the late (RIP Amigo) Arnold Peralta at Ibrox which got 45,000 H**s spewing with rage. 

CB: SCOTT McKENNA - Make no mistake, there was absolutely nothing about Scott McKenna during his time at Ayr to suggest that he was bound for anything other than a mediocre career with Burntisland Shipyard. The fact that he is now a Scotland and Aberdeen regular is still a head-scratcher for anyone who watched his spell at Somerset. Rotten.

CB: CRAIG BEATTIE - Yep. Craig Beattie. Formerly of Hearts and Celtic. A striker. Tell that to Mark Roberts, who gave Craig Beattie the number 6 shirt and made him play Centre Back for a home game against Brechin City. In a result that shocked absolutely no-one, Brechin left Somerset with a 2-0 win.

LB: KEVIN McKINLAY - Absolutely howling defender. The fact that Stirling Albion took him off our hands halfway through the 2014/15 season was probably the highlight of that year.

RM: ANTHONY MARENGHI - Struggled a bit with this one but feel compelled to mention Anthony Marenghi who, and I am not exaggerating, tore Premier League Motherwell a new one in a pre-season friendly and left us thinking that we had signed a magician. Nope. Shite.

CM: PAUL CAIRNEY - Scraped through the Playoff Final in 2016 having been given the runaround by Stranraer for the full 210 minutes. Ian McCall decided to take Paul Cairney, one of Stranraer's main men in that final, in the hope that he could be the key to unlocking Championship defences. The significantly overweight Cairney contributed very little to our team and was promptly binned after our inevitable relegation.

CM: GARY HARKINS - An absolute charlatan. Seems to be that he is either a huge hit at a club or a catastrophic failure. Sadly, in this instance he was a complete waste of a shirt. Was very heavily scrutinised due to the significant wage that he was on, and failed to live up to the talisman figure that Ian McCall hoped he would be. 

LM: JUNIOR MENDES - Only just makes the list as he was gone by the summer of 2010 following yet another relegation. On the final day of the 2009/10 season, Ayr travelled to Cappielow needing a win to stay up. At 2-1 down, Junior Mendes walked off the pitch because he needed to renew the tape on his wrists. Not his socks. His WRISTS. Shockingly enough, we lost and went down.

ST: KEVIN KYLE - A disaster of a signing, one of many made by Mark Roberts. Kyle arrived from Rangers and made it his mission to lambast every single member of the team for any minor errors they may or may not have made. His finishing was suspect, his work rate was questionable and his inclusion on this list is absolutely justified.

ST: DAVID WINTERS - Many an Ayr fan would probably chuck Farid El Alagui in here, but I would disagree entirely. Farid arrived in January of 2017 and scored 3 goals in 11 games in the Championship, in a team that were struggling badly. David Winters, on the other hand, only managed one more goal than El Alagui despite making 30 appearances for the club, and at a lower level as well. A jobber who belonged in the Juniors, and that is exactly where he headed after leaving (via 1 appearance for Queen's Park).

 

Honourable mentions to Jonathan 'On the Register' Tiffoney, Austin McCann, Gordon Pope and all the other utterly useless donkeys that have contributed to a decade which featured two relegations and coming within a bawhair of League Two status.

 

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Andy McNeil

Kevin McHattie        
Ross Perry        
Craig Wedderburn    
Reece Donaldson

Scott McBride    
Martin Scott     
Darren Petrie      
Scott Roberts

Yaw Osei    
Jon Daly

Subs:    
Graham Smith    
David Syme (does he count? Signed, loaned to Cowden almost immediately then released).   
Robbie Crawford (Again not sure if he counts, another Gary Locke special released after playing 1? game).    
Jordan Thompson     
Chris Johnston       
Rudi Skacel   
Craig Wighton

Gary Locke edges John Hughes for the management job IMO.

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Leo Fasan

Jason Marr Ross Perry Tom Dallison Joe Chalmers

alex Harris Tudor Jones Ruben Sammut Alex Cooper

Marcus Haber Dennon Lewis.

 

Definitely some recencsy bias with last seasons shit show. It was a close one with Dallison and Mehdi Khalis which would’ve given 3 signings from one window in defence. Definitely missed a fair few who weren’t the worst players in the world but offered nothing in a bairns shirt.

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