Subcontracting Hitman Shambles

[Shotgun]

42 minutes ago, Fullerene said:

I can imagine some hitman reading this and groaning "here we go again.  Some new guy reads one book and thinks he knows everything.  No idea of all the hours and the training and everything.  If I don't do something he is going to be cutting into my action and I can't have that".

Maybe unlikely but I suggest you keep your head low for a while - just in case.

No, no. Since then I've also read "The Bourne Identity" and watched "Leon, the Professional." Plus, I have a nice pair of sunglasses so can go anywhere on earth, completely incognito. I'm prepped and ready.

20 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

I'm largely out of the game these days as I work in the locality identification office now, but if you're serious then swing by a Continental Hotel sometime.  The concierge can get you in touch with me upon arrival.

Thanks. I'll admit though; I'm not too sure of the going rate these days. I'm thinking a bottle of Glenmorangie and a 12-pack of Salt and Vinegar Hula Hoops but if that's lowballing, let me know.

[Hedgecutter]

4 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

No, no. Since then I've also read "The Bourne Identity" and watched "Leon, the Professional." Plus, I have a nice pair of sunglasses so can go anywhere on earth, completely incognito. I'm prepped and ready.

Thanks. I'll admit though; I'm not too sure of the going rate these days. I'm thinking a bottle of Glenmorangie and a 12-pack of Salt and Vinegar Hula Hoops but if that's lowballing, let me know.

I'd raise it a tad.  The Table does not show mercy to those that attempt to undercut them.

[Shotgun]

20 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

I'd raise it a tad.  The Table does not show mercy to those that attempt to undercut them.

Good thinking. My favourite coffee mug is chipped and I thought I'd need to wait until Christmas for a new one. However, if I add the cost of that to the pricing proposal slide of my PowerPoint, it'll show potential clients that I'm not a man with whom they can trifle.

[welshbairn]

3 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

Good thinking. My favourite coffee mug is chipped and I thought I'd need to wait until Christmas for a new one. However, if I add the cost of that to the pricing proposal slide of my PowerPoint, it'll show potential clients that I'm not a man with whom they can trifle.

Talking of trifle, could I get done for paying someone to custard pie a target?

[Shotgun]

Just now, welshbairn said:

Talking of trifle, could I get done for paying someone to custard pie a target?

Hell, I'll do that for free. Which poster did you have in mind?

[Hedgecutter]

7 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

if I add the cost of that to the pricing proposal slide of my PowerPoint, it'll show potential clients that I'm not a man with whom they can trifle.

You need to include travel expenses and subsistence that must allow for alcohol.   Only then will they see you as a man.

 

 

Edited November 1, 2019 by Hedgecutter

[welshbairn]

1 minute ago, Shotgun said:

Hell, I'll do that for free. Which poster did you have in mind?

@Bairnardo . You'll have to get down a bit so I'll pay for knee pads on expenses.

[Shotgun]

18 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

You need to include travel expenses and subsistence that must allow for alcohol. 

 

15 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

@Bairnardo . You'll have to get down a bit so I'll pay for knee pads on expenses.

A daily bottle of Buckfast and a set of knee pads. I see myself being popular at parties.

[Fullerene]

I am impressed by the extensive use of hitman code here.  Anybody reading this stuff will probably just think you lot are being silly.

Sounds like you are planning something big.

Edited November 1, 2019 by Fullerene

[Hedgecutter]

16 minutes ago, welshbairn said:

@Bairnardo . You'll have to get down a bit so I'll pay for knee pads on expenses.

Bairnardo: "I'll match what welshbairn is paying"

Shotgun: "£100,000"

Bairnardo:  "I can only manage £25,000 just now"

Shotgun: [badass voice] "You're a bit short"

[BFTD]

Now and than, you still hear somebody spinning the odd tale about how you can get somebody iced on the deep web for £25 and a packet of pork scratchings.

There'd be none of us left past Christmas, FFS.

[Fullerene]

10 minutes ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Now and than, you still hear somebody spinning the odd tale about how you can get somebody iced on the deep web for £25 and a packet of pork scratchings.

There'd be none of us left past Christmas, FFS.

Maybe I can stop them getting hold of any pork scratchings. 

[Hedgecutter]

The past few posts have just made me realise that going around as hitman Scaramanga accompanied by Bairnardo would have made a great guising double act.  Damn.

Edited November 1, 2019 by Hedgecutter

[A96]

On 31/10/2019 at 19:56, Detournement said:

Surely if you are a hitman and some random punter says "i'll give you 10 grand to kill X" you say  "How about you give me 10 grand and I won't kill you?"

Really what are they going to do?

 

Simple solution there.  Just hire a reputable hitman to bump off the disreputable one.  Maybe get that Matt Allwright involved as a sting  feature on Watchdog or Rogue Traders. 

[weirdcal]

On 01/11/2019 at 16:57, welshbairn said:

@Bairnardo . You'll have to get down a bit so I'll pay for knee pads on expenses.

Just borrow shandon pars wife's ones, she'll have no use for them if you bump him off...