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Top Five Generalisations About Scottish Football Teams


D.A.F.C

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Hearts are physical and have a big black guy upfront.

Hibs are hilariously inconsistent 

Rangers have had at least one scumbag type player since forever

ICT always score late goals against the run of play

Falkirk fans think they’re Real Madrid

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A transfer to the OF means a Scotland call up

Celtic are a vehicle for bigots

Rangers are a vehicle for bigots

Most Cat 1 refs (as they are disproportionately from the West... 24/32 last season) will favour one or other of the OF

And for balance...

Aberdeen always play a big blonde lad up front

 

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11 hours ago, RR #1 said:

Dunfermline are shite

Raith fans can't count as high as five

St Johnstone fans all drive tractors to games

Aberdeen fans view sheep for leisure and not agricultural purposes

Dundee fans continually make a fuss about not viewing St Johnstone as a rival, but we all know they really care - like your older brother being bigger and stronger through childhood, but when you grow up and put him on his arse he's not really sure what to do, so constantly refers to that time he beat you up years ago

Falkirk fans will turn any conversation into a crowd w**k (also see: Dundee fans)

 

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18 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Falkirk fans think they’re Real Madrid

Always knew they were heavy into a crowd w**k but didn't know this was a thing until they crashed into the L1 forum. Bizarre.

Talk of "The Falkirk way" and "always having one player you'd pay to watch".

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On 10/10/2019 at 10:14, deej said:

Raith fans can't count as high as five

St Johnstone fans all drive tractors to games

Aberdeen fans view sheep for leisure and not agricultural purposes

Dundee fans continually make a fuss about not viewing St Johnstone as a rival, but we all know they really care - like your older brother being bigger and stronger through childhood, but when you grow up and put him on his arse he's not really sure what to do, so constantly refers to that time he beat you up years ago

Falkirk fans will turn any conversation into a crowd w**k (also see: Dundee fans)

 

Scrambling to make your team have a relevance type post.

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  • 3 weeks later...
On 10/10/2019 at 17:14, deej said:

Dundee fans continually make a fuss about not viewing St Johnstone as a rival, but we all know they really care - like your older brother being bigger and stronger through childhood, but when you grow up and put him on his arse he's not really sure what to do, so constantly refers to that time he beat you up years ago

 

 

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1. Celtic are held back in Europe by the lack of domestic competition.

2. Rangers* are held back in Europe by the lack of domestic competition.

3. Hearts and Hibs should merge in order to give Celtic and Rangers* more competition.

4. Dundee and Dundee Utd should merge in order to give Celtic and Rangers* more competition.

5. Celtic and Rangers* Colt teams should be entered in the SPFL Premiership thus providing more competition for Celtic and Rangers* as well as guaranteeing Scotland qualification to WC and EC Finals.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Raith / Morton are quasi-seaside league times in denial, reflected by the nature of their quasi-seaside towns that their club names attempt to disassociate with.

Partick are the club for the more sound and intellectual citizens of Glasgow.

Fort William consist of players that couldn't make the cut at shinty. 

Gala Fairydean consist of players that couldn't make the cut at rugby. 

Caledonian Braves & BSC Glasgow are simply fictional names that appear in the Sunday papers and don't actually exist in real life.

 

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