The weird kid from school

[the snudge]

I remember some girl who had the nickname of 'weasel'. She used to turn her eyelids up freakishly. Didn't hang around long, a few months in primary school. 

[Brother Blades]

For about a year, there was a Chinese...........nip

Reported for racism

[Dee Man]

14 minutes ago, Brother Blades said:

Reported for racism

You're obviously not a very good racist - it's the Japanese who were referred to as 'nips'.

[Brother Blades]

You're obviously not a very good racist - it's the Japanese who were referred to as 'nips'.

I’m not a racist.

[Connor1874]

1 hour ago, Brother Blades said:

I’m not a racist.

But?

[Sergeant Wilson]

I've mentioned him before.

Jonah never went to classes, he just helped the janitors, who sent him in various wild goose chases doing imaginary jobs. It's very sad but his family were so poor Jonah dressed in the cast off costumes from the school show. He would claim to have joined the police, navy or fire service. Not entirely convinced as he was wearing a Gilbert and Sullivan version of the uniform. The rest of the family joined The Salvation Army to get the uniform. ( They all seemed to like uniforms). He also claimed he was an English rugby international and made a living as an Elvis impersonator.

His sister was in my class and wore wellies in the winter, which was fine. Not so great in summer when she got sent to school in wellies with the leg bit cut off.

Edited July 25, 2019 by Sergeant Wilson

[D.A.F.C]

On 20/07/2019 at 13:49, BillyAnchor said:

I assumed it was a dog

Chicken 

...karma

[D.A.F.C]

Deaf kids got it tight at my primary school. Terrible really but one of them who I think was called Toby was a nutter. He pushed my mate off a wall into rose bushes for no reason, another time he chased us with football boots. He seemed to only be able to say what sounded like “ABBA” so that’s what we called him. To this day I still think of him whenever ABBA gets played on the radio. He was weird looking, had white hair and bucked teeth like a donkey. I think it added to the scarey factor.

The other deaf kid was fine, but was massive so nobody messed with him.

 

[Hedgecutter]

4 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Deaf kids got it tight at my primary school.

Sticks and stones.

[D.A.F.C]

24 minutes ago, Hedgecutter said:

Sticks and stones.

I suppose they were none the wiser. 

[Dee Man]

13 hours ago, Brother Blades said:

I’m not a racist.

Protesting too much. 

[throbber]

This thread is hilarious and it brings me right back to the utter weirdo who I had in my year through primary school and high school, his name was Mark and he was the youngest of 4 complete odd ball children, the father was a big tall English minister and the mother a short fat Glasgweigan IIRC. Mark was the most obvious target for bullies that you could ever possibly see, he was short and scrawny, had glasses and massive teeth, always dressed in the tackiest of clothes and had poor hygiene - he stunk and had head lice and nits, just the ugliest child you could possibly imagine. What made him so infuriating though was how resilient he was despite being so utterly pathetic in almost every aspect of his life, no matter how many times he humiliated himself he would always come back swinging seconds later as if nothing had happened and he genuinely thought he was a normal individual and had no self awareness about how short a deal he had in life and I always resented him for it and found it hard not to want to see him unhappy. He also, as a result of being the son of a minister was religious himself and talked about how much Jesus loved him etc. I remember one time I kicked him when we were about p6 or p7 as he was taking too long to sharpen his pencil and he started screaming in a total spasm, lying on the floor kicking his legs up and down and making the most atrocious sound of excruciating pain and fear you could possibly imagine (see the film Hostel when the guy gets his Achilles slashed) I never even got in trouble for it as the teacher knew he was at it. One time we went to an outdoor centre on a primary school trip and he hurt himself at every possible opportunity which resulted in him crying in a similar manner and shaking like a dog out of utter fear, this included capsizing his kayak in a small lake and having to be rescued and having to abseil down a 10 foot wall. Despite his antics majorly holding the day up for all of us who enjoyed the outdoors and him constantly humiliating himself he waddled onto the bus at the end of the day in his change of clothes acting like he had a great day out and that he had conquered something, it was so bizarre. One time, still in primary school I remember going for a pee in the urinal, I had just started peeing and noticed to my right that the cubicle door was open and Mark was sat on the toilet having a shit, staring into space and totally unaware that it is normal to shut the door whilst having a shit, particularly in public. I can still remember his stupid blue y fronts hanging over his knobbly knees to this day. After Lady Dianna died he asked if he could sing Candle in the Wind to the class to pay respects to her, he took in the Elton John cassette and his own sound system and sang away in front of the entire class for a bit before the emotion got the better of him and he started crying in front of everyone with nobody there to give him a hug, I honestly can't remember my emotion at the time but I certainly didn't find it either funny or sad.

Moving on to high school and he carried on pretty much the same and was on the receiving end of endless taunts which he was largely impervious to, I remember once during one of those stupid religious assemblies that you have to attend that the minister was saying a prayer and all the pupils in the hall were bowing their heads but Mark was standing there with both arms up in the air as if he was embracing God, he got so many pelters for it which he was again impervious to. His father walked out on the family when we were about 3rd year and it was a source of great humour for all of us laughing about how his Dad wanted nothing to do with him etc, one time in class we got a form which the teacher asked us to get our parents to sign, and then some wise cracker joked "Or in Marks case, parenT!" which provoked much laughter, particularly from the teacher. This all of course is very harsh looking back on it but it all seemed so right at the time and there is no way that anyone who knew him at the time would have had any sympathy for him, Im pretty sure he got the same level of taunts when his Granny died as well. Some time around then we were in the PE locker room after playing football and one of the harder lads in our year decided to slap Mark on the back when he had his top off, this obviously came at a bad time and for the first time ever I saw him lash out, he basically turned right round and screamed "f**k YOU!!" his entire body shaking much like it did at the outdoor centre a few years previous, his lips trembling, voice whimpering and tears coming out of his eyes " I HAVE ENOUGH GOING ON IN MY LIFE WITHOUT DEALING WITH YOU BAAAAAAASTARDS!!" As he was having the meltdown a couple other hard boys were drawn to him, almost like a magnetic force as they smelt the fear from him and wanted to hurt him out of pure instinct, it was pretty much like Piggy from Lord of the Flies sort of stuff. Anyway as if this wasn't bad enough, as Mark was getting cornered someone threw a shoe from the other end of the locker room and it hit the poor b*****d right on the eye when he had his glasses on, the 3 guys then descended on Mark and cornered him, one of them picked up the shoe that had just been thrown and started beating him around the back with it and the other two started giving him the most atomic wedgie I have ever seen, his Y fronts pulled right up over his shoulders with Mark again making a screaming noise that I have never before or since heard any human ever make. The PE teacher must have heard the squeals and burst into the changing room and went fucking mental, he had one of the bullies pinned right up against a wall screaming about how he's not as fucking hard as he thinks he is etc, was genuine fury from the teacher that I had never seen before whilst Mark lay whimpering in the corner with nothing but stretched and torn Y fronts covering what remaining dignity he had left.  There is no doubt in my mind that had the teacher not intervened, Mark would have died that day.

 

A year later and Mark got caught downloading porn in Business Admin, I was sat right next to him as he did it and he proudly brought it to my attention then and there. It was pretty extreme stuff anyway compared to what I had seen and I told him he better get it off his computer ASAP. Mark had other ideas and decided it would be a good idea to print it out, the girl sitting to the other side of him (a notorious slapper) ended up spotting this and started making a fuss about it to get the teachers attention. Mark then made a bolt for the printer to try and dispose of the evidence, the girl chased him there and they both started wrestling at the printer. The teacher started going mental about it and the girl was screaming "HE'S LOOKING AT PORN!!!" before overpowering Mark who then lay down on all fours crying right next to the bin/printer screaming that he was sorry and not to punish him. It was a truly pathetic site to see, again I can't remember my emotions at the time and although looking back it does seem funny in a tragic sort of way. He got suspended for 2 weeks IIRC and then saw the remaining 2 years of high school out in relative peace and quiet, although that may be because I wasn't in any more of his classes and never saw him humiliate himself.

[Sergeant Wilson]

17 minutes ago, throbber said:

This thread is hilarious and it brings me right back to the utter weirdo who I had in my year through primary school and high school, his name was Mark and he was the youngest of 4 complete odd ball children, the father was a big tall English minister and the mother a short fat Glasgweigan IIRC. Mark was the most obvious target for bullies that you could ever possibly see, he was short and scrawny, had glasses and massive teeth, always dressed in the tackiest of clothes and had poor hygiene - he stunk and had head lice and nits, just the ugliest child you could possibly imagine. What made him so infuriating though was how resilient he was despite being so utterly pathetic in almost every aspect of his life, no matter how many times he humiliated himself he would always come back swinging seconds later as if nothing had happened and he genuinely thought he was a normal individual and had no self awareness about how short a deal he had in life and I always resented him for it and found it hard not to want to see him unhappy. He also, as a result of being the son of a minister was religious himself and talked about how much Jesus loved him etc. I remember one time I kicked him when we were about p6 or p7 as he was taking too long to sharpen his pencil and he started screaming in a total spasm, lying on the floor kicking his legs up and down and making the most atrocious sound of excruciating pain and fear you could possibly imagine (see the film Hostel when the guy gets his Achilles slashed) I never even got in trouble for it as the teacher knew he was at it. One time we went to an outdoor centre on a primary school trip and he hurt himself at every possible opportunity which resulted in him crying in a similar manner and shaking like a dog out of utter fear, this included capsizing his kayak in a small lake and having to be rescued and having to abseil down a 10 foot wall. Despite his antics majorly holding the day up for all of us who enjoyed the outdoors and him constantly humiliating himself he waddled onto the bus at the end of the day in his change of clothes acting like he had a great day out and that he had conquered something, it was so bizarre. One time, still in primary school I remember going for a pee in the urinal, I had just started peeing and noticed to my right that the cubicle door was open and Mark was sat on the toilet having a shit, staring into space and totally unaware that it is normal to shut the door whilst having a shit, particularly in public. I can still remember his stupid blue y fronts hanging over his knobbly knees to this day. After Lady Dianna died he asked if he could sing Candle in the Wind to the class to pay respects to her, he took in the Elton John cassette and his own sound system and sang away in front of the entire class for a bit before the emotion got the better of him and he started crying in front of everyone with nobody there to give him a hug, I honestly can't remember my emotion at the time but I certainly didn't find it either funny or sad.

Moving on to high school and he carried on pretty much the same and was on the receiving end of endless taunts which he was largely impervious to, I remember once during one of those stupid religious assemblies that you have to attend that the minister was saying a prayer and all the pupils in the hall were bowing their heads but Mark was standing there with both arms up in the air as if he was embracing God, he got so many pelters for it which he was again impervious to. His father walked out on the family when we were about 3rd year and it was a source of great humour for all of us laughing about how his Dad wanted nothing to do with him etc, one time in class we got a form which the teacher asked us to get our parents to sign, and then some wise cracker joked "Or in Marks case, parenT!" which provoked much laughter, particularly from the teacher. This all of course is very harsh looking back on it but it all seemed so right at the time and there is no way that anyone who knew him at the time would have had any sympathy for him, Im pretty sure he got the same level of taunts when his Granny died as well. Some time around then we were in the PE locker room after playing football and one of the harder lads in our year decided to slap Mark on the back when he had his top off, this obviously came at a bad time and for the first time ever I saw him lash out, he basically turned right round and screamed "f**k YOU!!" his entire body shaking much like it did at the outdoor centre a few years previous, his lips trembling, voice whimpering and tears coming out of his eyes " I HAVE ENOUGH GOING ON IN MY LIFE WITHOUT DEALING WITH YOU BAAAAAAASTARDS!!" As he was having the meltdown a couple other hard boys were drawn to him, almost like a magnetic force as they smelt the fear from him and wanted to hurt him out of pure instinct, it was pretty much like Piggy from Lord of the Flies sort of stuff. Anyway as if this wasn't bad enough, as Mark was getting cornered someone threw a shoe from the other end of the locker room and it hit the poor b*****d right on the eye when he had his glasses on, the 3 guys then descended on Mark and cornered him, one of them picked up the shoe that had just been thrown and started beating him around the back with it and the other two started giving him the most atomic wedgie I have ever seen, his Y fronts pulled right up over his shoulders with Mark again making a screaming noise that I have never before or since heard any human ever make. The PE teacher must have heard the squeals and burst into the changing room and went fucking mental, he had one of the bullies pinned right up against a wall screaming about how he's not as fucking hard as he thinks he is etc, was genuine fury from the teacher that I had never seen before whilst Mark lay whimpering in the corner with nothing but stretched and torn Y fronts covering what remaining dignity he had left.  There is no doubt in my mind that had the teacher not intervened, Mark would have died that day.

 

A year later and Mark got caught downloading porn in Business Admin, I was sat right next to him as he did it and he proudly brought it to my attention then and there. It was pretty extreme stuff anyway compared to what I had seen and I told him he better get it off his computer ASAP. Mark had other ideas and decided it would be a good idea to print it out, the girl sitting to the other side of him (a notorious slapper) ended up spotting this and started making a fuss about it to get the teachers attention. Mark then made a bolt for the printer to try and dispose of the evidence, the girl chased him there and they both started wrestling at the printer. The teacher started going mental about it and the girl was screaming "HE'S LOOKING AT PORN!!!" before overpowering Mark who then lay down on all fours crying right next to the bin/printer screaming that he was sorry and not to punish him. It was a truly pathetic site to see, again I can't remember my emotions at the time and although looking back it does seem funny in a tragic sort of way. He got suspended for 2 weeks IIRC and then saw the remaining 2 years of high school out in relative peace and quiet, although that may be because I wasn't in any more of his classes and never saw him humiliate himself.

He must've been an absolute brammer to stand out in a class with you in it.

[KnightswoodBear]

@throbber, keep it short and snappy ffs.  There's no way I'm reading that.

[KnightswoodBear]

Anyway, I'm sure I've told this one before, but I went to school with a boy who's parents got divorced and his mum remarried very quickly.  So much so, that he came back to school after one summer holiday with a new last name.  This grew legs a bit and he was christened "Davy Ten Das" from then on. 

[mizfit]

[mention=40259]throbber[/mention], keep it short and snappy ffs.  There's no way I'm reading that.

Religious kid gets bullied and downloads porn.

[throbber]

I tend to go on a bit when on the laptop

[Mark Connolly]

1 hour ago, KnightswoodBear said:

@throbber, keep it short and snappy ffs.  There's no way I'm reading that.

The Primary school section can be reduced to "throbber kicked another kid, then went into the toilet to watch him have a shit".

I'll read the rest later

[throbber]

1 minute ago, Mark Connolly said:

The Primary school section can be reduced to "throbber kicked another kid, then went into the toilet to watch him have a shit".

I'll read the rest later

The guy popped into my head after reading this thread last night and due to the heat last night I had a sleepless night thinking about all of his antics over a good number of years knowing him, a truly awful individual.

[nsr]

If there's one thing this thread has demonstrated, it's that pretty much everyone here was an utter unrelenting arsewipe as a child.