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Crazy predictions for season 2019-20


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Your chance to make wild Nostradamus-esque predictions of glory or doom and can come back at the end of the season saying told you so to the naysayers.

 

Up first I'm going with...

 

Shankland, feeling unloved as a bench-warming squad player, takes to comfort eating and puts on two stone before Christmas.

 

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Arborath win the league, Dundee United relegated due to playing Shankland in goals for the first 20 matches after Neilson forgets that Shankland dosnt have to be in near the Dundee United goal to score goals.

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Shankland to do a Dobbie and score over 50 goals next season, firing Dundee United to the much coveted ninth spot.

Queen of the South, in a bid to raise some much needed funds, launch a "Show us how much you love the Dobbie" initiative. Poor Stephen ends up walking like John Wayne

Dick Campbell to slap Neilson in the pus with an authentic Arbroath Smokie, during a particularly tense Angus Derby

Robbie Neilson to finally disappear up his own arse

12, Ruel Street to be chosen as the venue for the inaugural Mascot's Last Man Standing bare knuckle/paw boxing match

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During a flu epidemic sammy the Tammy plays in goals for Dunfermline and relegates Dundee United by having a MOTM performance.

He removes his head to reveal Rab Douglas. Dundee is in lockdown for three months to prevent rioting.

 

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  • Moore to outscore Shankland.
  • Inverness champions.
  • No sign of Falkirk.
  • Ayr announce a return to part time football.
  • Partick Thistle manager John Hughes leaves after not picking up a point. 
  • Robbie Muirhead discovers crashed UFO. 
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