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paranoid android

Embarrassing admissions

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I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack.

It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! 

How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third?

Are other readers similarly stupid?

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

 

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1 minute ago, paranoid android said:

I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack.

It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! 

How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third?

Are other readers similarly stupid?

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

 

Two out of three's not bad.

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7 minutes ago, paranoid android said:

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

Scroll down you idiot.

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20 minutes ago, paranoid android said:

I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack.

It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! 

How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third?

Are other readers similarly stupid?

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

 

I know the guys that were in Dire Straits are getting on a bit but that’s still harsh.

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46 minutes ago, paranoid android said:

I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

You'll get your just deserts if you're vilified for this...

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I'm 42 years old and, until about two years ago I genuinely thought those 'mince pies' you get at Christmas contained actual mince within it's short crust pastry type casing, only recently discovered they were actually filled with dried dark fruits etc...

 

Although they are still fucking howling 🤢

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25 minutes ago, Credo67 said:

When you finish nursery school hopefully it will get a bit better.

As if I'm allowed near a nursery school.

20 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

What did you think raisins were?

Raisins. 

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57 minutes ago, paranoid android said:

I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack.

It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! 

How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third?

Are other readers similarly stupid?

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

 

See the source image

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7 minutes ago, Flybhoy said:

I'm 42 years old and, until about two years ago I genuinely thought those 'mince pies' you get at Christmas contained actual mince within it's short crust pastry type casing, only recently discovered they were actually filled with dried dark fruits etc...

 

Although they are still fucking howling 🤢

 

Strongbow or Magners?

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Someone I worked with brought back coffee sweets they got from a trip to Africa.

I ate one and they gave me both the shits and a boner. I had to go home early that day.

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1 hour ago, paranoid android said:

I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack.

It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! 

How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third?

Are other readers similarly stupid?

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

 

Not having that. You'd have to be fucking daft to not know that.

14 minutes ago, Flybhoy said:

I'm 42 years old and, until about two years ago I genuinely thought those 'mince pies' you get at Christmas contained actual mince within it's short crust pastry type casing, only recently discovered they were actually filled with dried dark fruits etc...

 

This doesn't surprise me. Well, your age does. 52 min IMO

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2 minutes ago, Busta Nut said:

Not having that. You'd have to be fucking daft to not know that.

:lol: Aye, that's kind of my point! 

Edited by paranoid android

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Descending a hill, driving to Newtonmore and checking into a bunkhouse not realising I'd actually sharted about three hours previously. 

On a related vein, having three huge shites on Aonach Beag and having to leave the socks I'd wiped my arse with sitting right beside them. 

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1 hour ago, paranoid android said:

I've only recently learned that raisins, sultans, and currants are dried grapes.

I also don't know if it's haversack or havisack.

It's also taken me an embarrassingly long time to realise that banoffee is made of banana and toffee! 

How can I have lived this long without knowing at least the first and third?

Are other readers similarly stupid?

P.S. the new emojis on P & B are pish. 

 

While I'm at it.

 

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As this may be turning into another shitting thread, I caught a horrific virus last year. Was pishing oot ma erse for the best part of a month.

Eventually, I was too weak to move out of the wife's leather recliner so, for a few days, I had to line the chair with towels and change them every few hours  :green

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