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2 hours ago, Melanius Mullarkey said:

I love all Europeans. 

Especially the Czech birds. 

pics or.....

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Now you do not punish anyone, Dutch or otherwise, for having big boobs.

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Most countries throughout Europe and the world in General have their own unique brand of c***s. Are we looking at the ones who come over here and piss us off at home, ones you encounter on holiday and piss us off over there or just our general opinions them without having met them?

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cliff.jpg.06048c6d8db1880055ef1b74a7795dfb.jpg

Ingerlund 12 points. Based mainly on an ignorant cow in Ashby de la Zouch who couldn't understand my accent. Which isn't exactly rural Aberdeenshire. As any Geordie could tell  you though the English get cuntier the further south you go. 

Norn Irn 10 points. Individually a lot of them are sound guys you'd go for a pint with. Collectively half of them vote DUP. 

Wales 8 points. For Clugger's Quay Gonads and South Walesians voting UKIP. Kudos for the taff bird at work who's sound, Swansea women and the ones who speak Welsh and annoy the English. 

France: 7 points. I know some nice French people. Especially a "oiseau" in Aberdeen who had the nicest bahoochie I've ever seen. But I once had to use one of those squatters in a hurry in a railway station.. 

Serbia 6 points. Based on the hardest football fans I've ever seen who were 4 Red Star fans in Shandwick Place when they played Hearts in the mid '90s. They weren't doing anything in particular but you just got the impression you wouldn't mess with the cnuts. 

Norway 5 points. Because i shared a flat with a Norwegian who was a cnut. Points off because I knew a lovely Norwegian bird. 
Greece 4 points. I knew a few cnuts who were Greek. But I went there on holiday last year and enjoyed myself. 
Italy 3 points. For blocking the Edinburgh pavements during the tourist season. 
 

I've nothing particular against the other countries. 
 

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South Ireland?? You making places up?

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Russia 10 Just an utterly mad lot but keep the Americans in line so don't get full points


England 12 An utterly strange lot majority support Brexit, their football fans have no idea how to behave and are generally rude.


France 5 Parisians bring them down as they are a rude lot but they knew how to deal with Monarchs when they took the piss so kudos


Italy 8 Rome and Milan are utter holes but their country side is lovely. 


Greece 4 Mad bunch of lads


Sweden 3 Cover IKEA in the Swedish flag and then have their headquarters in The Netherlands


THE REPUBLIC OF Ireland 0 Please use their correct name.


Wales 6 Voted for Brexit but annoy the English.


Northern Ireland 7 half of them vote for the DUP and there of course the home of the Marching Season mental.

Thought it might be easier if I left them in the order you had listed them rather than the order of points lowest to highest.
 

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Since we're stereotyping, let's go full Xenophobe :

England 12 - amateurs who get liquored up and chaos havoc. Seems like they have to take 'banter' to the next level which means being absolute dickheads. They are fucking loud too, much louder than anyone else from these islands. Next time you are on a train, that person almost screaming in to their phone will no doubt be English. Brexit voting cuntos. They seem a lot more reserved than us. I'm not a lunatic who takes part in small talk, but they seem a bit off/don't know what to do if you are stuck in a situation and attempt even just a general chat.

Norwegians (Nordic countries in general can all split the points between themselves, although Swedes seem the soundest) 10 - so fucking dull. Its not a language thing either, as they are excellent at speaking English ; but just incredibly boring. Say anything more than Hello to someone you don't know and they don't know what to do. Although they are absolutely mental after a drink.  Could be an incredibly lonely place I'd imagine to move to e.g making friends, even mundane shit like going to the shops is depressing and no one with common courtesy.

Serbia (all ex-Yugoslavian nations)  8 - very warm people, but absolutely mental and can go from cordial and polite to bezerek at the drop of a hat or a comment meant in jest/ignorance. Has to be their wiring. All ex-Yugos are great though, but absolutely crazy and best to stick to conversations about football and music. Avoid everything else, even then you might not be safe in a Beatles/Beach Boys/Rolling stones discussion or if its been a good summer or not weather wise.

Wales 7 - they mostly vote for Brexit, yet annoyingly they have held on to their language unlike us with Gaelic, then you remember we actually have a chance of being a normal country soon, whilst they will never leave the UK/England. A lot of sound c***s there, but for every placid casual Welshman there's a Brexit voting tube who wants the Empire back.

NI 6 - been to Belfast, and never felt a place so similar to Scotland (not the flegs etc) but the humour, architecture, accent even and the gritty yet niceness of the place/people. Yet half of them vote for the fucking DUP or SF and live in Irish or British enclaves. Yes, not doing 'The Troubles' any justice summing them up in a sentence, but I'd hate to live in a street that was covered in blue/white/red kerbs, WTAF!

Americans 5 - the ones I've met from traveling both at home, abroad or in their own nation have been fun, and much sounder than a lot of English. Then again only 14% of them have passports, so maybe its only the normal ones that travel. Whilst they can be a bit insincere sounding, they do seem to have an interest in a conversation. A few too many of them seem to think it is still a 'city on a hill' and pig ignorant about the rest of the world (the again a lot of Brits are too) when anyone who has been there knows that the US right now is like the aging footballer who doesn't know when to retire, still got the skills/touch etc but looks a bit rusty from the outside - failing infrastructure, communications and IT seems almost behind, just a bit behind when you look at most modern European cities.

Scots 4 - most are good c***s, although we have some thick, arrogant, entitled arseholes here too. Quite embarrassing how little we as a nation seem to know not just about our own history, but the rest of the world. Rangers fans are the worst of the lot, TBH. They have a fair amount of cheek calling Aberdeen fans sheep, when 90% of any Rangers' fans Twitter handle/profile/pic will reference GSTQ, 1690,WATP,Ulster,Britain,Queen etc.

Irish 3 - mostly a great bunch of lads. Although can be incredibly cliquey around other Irish people if abroad. Suppose we all can be at times, maybe.

Israel 2 - no idea if they are on the list, but I've met about four people from here, and every single one of them was weird. Leaving the geopolitics of the region out of it, those four people I met in different circumstances were all just incredibly odd and strangely extremely arrogant. Actually, five, a very nice guy from somewhere in Israel but lived in NZ and sold me an ice cream. A lovely guy, so only 2 pts for Israel.

Germans 1 - nice people, but they take things so literally. Very nice people though, but relax a bit when someone crosses the road when its a red light and there's no traffic coming. I'm always amazed how good their English is considering they dub all their tv programs and film, and rarely probably need to speak it.

 

 

 

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7 hours ago, Kejan said:

Since we're stereotyping, let's go full Xenophobe :

Serbia (all ex-Yugoslavian nations)  8 - very warm people, but absolutely mental and can go from cordial and polite to bezerek at the drop of a hat or a comment meant in jest/ignorance. Has to be their wiring. All ex-Yugos are great though, but absolutely crazy and best to stick to conversations about football and music. Avoid everything else, even then you might not be safe in a Beatles/Beach Boys/Rolling stones discussion or if its been a good summer or not weather wise.

 

 

I've found the (North) Macedonians to be pretty laid back on the whole. Like Serbs on pot! A Macedonian girl I knew told me that they're too lazy to fight.... 

Half the mentalness of the Serbs is probably down to the Balkan Buckfast- slivovitz. 

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On ‎16‎/‎06‎/‎2019 at 22:28, Dee Man said:

What have you got against Austria?

Landlocked c***s. They are the Clackmannanshire of Europe

 

England 12 points. The land that gave us morris dancing, James Corden and The Spice Girls. That alone should ensure a landslide victory.

Netherlands 10 points. I was called "Fucking English" in Amsterdam. My lowest point in life

Norn Iron 8 points. MISSUS BUNFIELD!!

Russia 7 points. Never trust anyone who lives in such cold temperatures

Romania 6 points. I have a phobia about vampires. Also Michael Howard is of Romanian origin. The two things I'm sure are linked

Greece 5 points. I hate fucking John Travolta

Spain 4 points. Got pickpocketed there and lost 2000 pesetas. Ok it was only about a tenner, but f**k you anyway you c***s

Ukraine 3 points. Two of them played for Rangers (RIP) once and that particular deceased organisation are definitely all c***s. Ergo that entire country must also be c***s

Switzerland 2points. Any country that puts holes in cheese must be c***s

Bulgaria 1 point. f**k you, you womble c***s

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I don't really like the negativity of this thread so I'm going the opposite way. I give not one f**k about how you score it. I'm going for the soundest nations. 

1st. Northern Ireland - I'm biased cos I grew up there. And yes it has lots of bigots. A majority might vote DUP, but a majority also voted against Brexit and most don't give a f**k about all the sectarian shite.

2nd. England - I doubt any of us doesn't have an English friend or close relative. Aye - their media and football team are dicks, but it's not their fault. I'm a fervent supporter of Scottish Independence but at the same time, these guys are our closest neighbours.

3rd. South Ireland (!) ... don't think I've ever met an arsehole from there. Although I've understood more drivers in taxis in LIthuania than I have Dublin. 

4th. Romania - A Romanian friend at work invited us over for a few days - we spent 10 days getting driven about all the best bits. Don't think I met an unfriendly person the entire visit. After a few polenkas, even managed a drunken conversation with my mate's da - despite the lack of a common language.

5hh. Czech Republic - went out with a lass from there for 2 years so got to know the place quite well. Nice beer, shite language - citizens a bit diffident until you get to know them then sound as f**k. 

6th. Poland - as above. 

7th. Portugal - Nobody minded that I said "Obrigada" instead of "Obrigado". Cheap as chips. Friendly as f**k. 

8th. France - Marked down cos they don't understand a word that I say, but generally sound. I've never been to Paris, but everywhere else is brand new. 

9th Iceland - Can't recommend a trip there enough. Unless you're looking for a piss-up.

10th. Wales. I have no Welsh friends or relatives, but a Welsh lass recently joined the work and she is sound. 

Edited by Cardinal Richelieu

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19 minutes ago, Bully Wee Villa said:

Can't we vote for Australia, like in Eurovision?

Sure, why not?

Kejan voted for America.

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13 hours ago, Cardinal Richelieu said:

 

7th. Portugal - Nobody minded that I said "Obrigada" instead of "Obrigado". Cheap as chips. Friendly as f**k. 

 

Obridgada, Obrigado, Life goes on yeah,

La la la la life goes on.

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7 hours ago, This time Perthshirebell said:

****28 hours till voting closes klaxon****

the less successful follow up to "24 hours from Tulsa". 

 

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Danish people for me. For some reason they have been very arrogant most of the times I have been either socializing or business dealings. Mostly business..  

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