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Hedgecutter

Telephone Culture (or lack of)

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Quote

It's good to hear your voice, you know it's been so long

If I don't get your calls, then everything goes wrong

I want to tell you something you've known all along

Don't leave me hanging on the telephone

 

Not my words P&B, the words of Jack Lee & Debbie Harry.

 

Other than <30 sec conversations to ask where your useless friends got to, when did you last phone up friends or family for something some call 'a chat'?  :unsure:

Other pressing questions:

  • Have you ever faked your own death to avoid the "seeing as he's here, would you like to speak to..." on the spot chat?
  • Has the bank ever phoned you up to say there's a pigeon in your bank account? 
  • Do you get your close family death announcements via phone call, email or Facebook? 
  • Have you ever confused your granny with a cold caller and told her to f*** off?
  • Is Mario Più's tune Communication [somebody answer the phone] the most irritating song of all time?
  • Is 'Phones' from Stingray OFTW (and did he ever pump Marina)?
  • Is it humanly possible to untangle a tangled spiral phone cord?
  • Have you ever had the opportunity to shout "GET OFF .... THE PHHHOOONNNNNEE" whilst off your face on Class A's?
  • Have you ever used the word apropos when phoning an electrical retailer?

 

Edited by Hedgecutter

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I sit at home alone waiting for the phone to ring. Only thing that brightens up my life is the "We've heard you've been in an accident that wasn't your fault." girl and the guy who says he's from Microsoft or Talk Talk and says there's a problem with my computer. What laughs we have, fair breaks up the day!

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I sit at home alone waiting for the phone to ring. Only thing that brightens up my life is the "We've heard you've been in an accident that wasn't your fault." girl and the guy who says he's from Microsoft or Talk Talk and says there's a problem with my computer. What laughs we have, fair breaks up the day!
Had the man from Microsoft phone me the other day. He got quite abusive after I wasted his time for quite a while.

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There was a time when a man could sleep easy in his bed, safe in the knowledge that any nocturnal intruders could be swiftly beaten to death with the iron-framed rotary telephone provided by British Telecommunications (in exchange for a nominal rental fee).

In this age of avocado toast and blue hair, it should be no surprise that the powers-that-be have forcibly replaced our trusty corded friends with cheap receivers fashioned from lightweight petrochemical by-products, some of which may not even have been manufactured in Great Britain. Needless to say, none of the most popular models stand up to even light use in physical combat, and lack even the fall-back of cabling to use as a garrote. One can only wonder what our millennial brethren intend to do when confronted by a naked madman in their bedroom, come the wee small hours.

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My daughter wants to speak to everyone that Mrs B is speaking to on the phone, including Mrs B's boot of a gran.

My daughter one day announced to the auld boot, "daddies here do you want to speak to him". That was awkward fucking that off.

 

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I used to dread phone calls to/from my sister when her bairns were wee. Despite me begging her not to; she would always, always, always put the kid on to "Say hello to Uncle Shotgun...say hello to Uncle Shotgun...say hello to Uncle Shotgun." I'd then have to listen to the kid breathing at long-distance rates. One time after what seemed like about 6 hours of this, I hung up and the resulting shit storm very nearly got me scratched out of the family tree. 

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There was a time when a man could sleep easy in his bed, safe in the knowledge that any nocturnal intruders could be swiftly beaten to death with the iron-framed rotary telephone provided by British Telecommunications (in exchange for a nominal rental fee).
In this age of avocado toast and blue hair, it should be no surprise that the powers-that-be have forcibly replaced our trusty corded friends with cheap receivers fashioned from lightweight petrochemical by-products, some of which may not even have been manufactured in Great Britain. Needless to say, none of the most popular models stand up to even light use in physical combat, and lack even the fall-back of cabling to use as a garrote. One can only wonder what our millennial brethren intend to do when confronted by a naked madman in their bedroom, come the wee small hours.

Would it not have been the GPO before BT?

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5 hours ago, Raidernation said:


Would it not have been the GPO before BT?

Glad to see you back posting (maybe you've been posting on threads I don't visit...)

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I worked in call centres for five years. I despise speaking on the phone.

I've been with my wife for 13 years now, and I think if you were to add up all our phone calls together they wouldn't break 30 minutes.

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Watsap texts are the way to go. You don't need to speak to someone, nor does anyone need to speak to you. Outside this, any phone calls are likely to be someone selling you something, and they can get right in the fucking Atlantic

 

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Usually phone my old dear every 6 weeks or so to check in. Most of the time communication is via whatsapp. I did get extremely drunk one night about a year after moving away, and phone a load of my mates because I was feeling homesick. That apart, f**k anyone who wants to talk on the phone.

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I don't answer the phone when it rings unless I recognise the number. If it's a call I actually needed to answer, they'll leave a message.

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I fucking hate talking on the phone. The only person I talk to now is my mum but even she has moved to WhatsApp, despite being well over 60. Thank goodness. :) 

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