Jobbers of the Season

[D.A.F.C]

Aird unlucky to get moved out on loan from United. Hes one of the top assisters in the league. I think his rangers connection and attitude go against him but imo hes one of the top five wingers in the championship.

[parxyz]

Fail.

Ooft, shows how much I know. Didn't see their assists anywhere. You should be thanking me for including three of your players before a big play-off though, you were stick on to go through from there.

[Tannadeechee]

39 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Aird unlucky to get moved out on loan from United. Hes one of the top assisters in the league. I think his rangers connection and attitude go against him but imo hes one of the top five wingers in the championship.

Was pleased when we signed him, but from his performances at United is nowhere near a top player, even in the Championship

Almost none of his assists came from open play. He is up there in assists because he took all the freekicks and corners. The Rangers connection has nothing to do with it. His performances from open play were very, very poor. Hiding on the pitch, running away from the ball, running to where the ball had just come from. Never seen anything like it from an alleged professional. 

Did he have a poor attitude at Dunfermline?

Edited May 11, 2019 by Tannadeechee

[Chubbychops]

2 hours ago, Rob1885 said:

The Devine shouts are harsh IMO. We had one of the tightest defences in the league. Couldn't score worth a f**k though.

Or goals against has nothing to do with Devine and the rest of the defence doing well. It's because we have played tactics that protect the garbage at the back. That's why we couldn't score. Pretty obvious. Ashcroft has been every bit as bad as Devine too.

[Chubbychops]

15 minutes ago, Tannadeechee said:

Was pleased when we signed him, but from his performances at United is nowhere near a top player, even in the Championship

Almost none of his assists came from open play. He is up there in assists because he took all the freekicks and corners. The Rangers connection has nothing to do with it. His performances from open play were very, very poor. Hiding on the pitch, running away from the ball, running to where the ball had just come from. Never seen anything like it from an alleged professional. 

Did he have a poor attitude at Dunfermline?

Couldn't get a game first half of the season, looked unfit initially.  Always came across as a cocky arse in interviews.  As we approached Xmas he got regular games and did pretty well. AJ loves wingers and Aird flourished under him second half of the season. Didn't notice a bad attitude on the park.  Guess we got the best out of him.

[FalkirkLad]

Severe lack of Ruben Sammut in this thread. Absolutely rotten and a wee shitebag too.

[LauriestonBairn]

Severe lack of Ruben Sammut in this thread. Absolutely rotten and a wee shitebag too.

Jeez, I forgot about him! Unbelievably shite! Chelsea are mugs paying him £12k a week!

[TheBigYa]

3 hours ago, Bairnardo said:

Dennon Lewis absolutely HAS to be one of your four from us (lets face it our allocation is getting maxed out) and absolutely HAS to go striaght in.

He wasnt a Dan Turner or TOE who were rapidly emptied with minimal game time. Lewis got a lot of game time culminating in that particular incident which is available via gif by someone on here.

The jobber description is also extremely apt for one Prince Buaben who looked promising but lacking match fitness when he arrived, then quickly descended into utter mediocrity as it became obvious he was running down the clock to his next gig.

Marcus Haber too, put in less than the minimum required effort during each and every footballing endeavour he was asked to undertake for us. He never even carved out a shot on goal by accident. Quite something to never even fluke being right place right time even once.
 

 

[Sloop John B]

GK - Leo Fasan

FB - Aaron Muirhead 

CB - Tom Dallison

CB - Niall Keown

FB - Kenny Van Der Weg

RM - Miles Storey

CM - Ian McGrath

CM - Robbie Muirhead

LM - Adam Frizzell

ST - Marcus Haber

ST - Fais El Bakhtaoui

 

Manager - McKinnon

Set Piece Coach - Gary Naysmith

[Russ]

Leo Fasan - Unquestionably the worst ‘keeper in the league this season. A jobber of the highest standard and someone who’s next contact will surely be part time/amateur.

Aaron Muirhead - He’s fucking shite. His performance in the new year pumping from Dunfermline was arguably our worst individual performance of the season. Considering how utter shite we’ve been that’s pretty fucking damning. He was also rank when we played Ayr at TFS.

Tom Dallison - He’s now a regular starter for Crawley in League 2. Genuinely can’t comprehend how bad that standard must be. Looked the part pre-season but by Christ he was a terrible defender. His ‘best’ performance for us was probably the game he played up front against Partick Thistle.

Stelios - Was always impressed when I seen him with St. Mirren but he was terrible in the 1-1 draw with County.

Miles Storey - Our first game against them at TFS Caldwell’s bizarre gamelan was to play the ball to the left-back and play long diagonals to Storey who would run the ball out of play, hit the ball out of play or get the ball taken off him.

Gary Harkins - Had a complete heads gone at Firhill earlier in the season against us getting himself sent off.

Ryan Blair - Probably a bit harsh but was struggling to think of another midfielder and he was fucking stinking in the last game against us.

Dennon Lewis - Even if it just for that moment against Dunfermline where he shat himself with a free goal 6 yards out he deserves to be here. But of course he was beyond brutal in all 16 league games he played for us.

Faissal El-Bakhtaoui - Played in all 4 league games against us and even in the 2 games they won managed to look terrible.

Marcus Haber - The laziest c**t I’ve ever seen play. He very clearly could not give a single f**k in his entire time with us. He barely moved, didn’t score and iirc didn’t have a shot on target. Definition of stealing a wage.

Andy Ryan - Purely for that miss in the first game at EEP.


The fact that Dylan Mackin isn’t one of our 4 worst players this season is a fucking disgrace.

Just based on players to ‘play’ for us in the league this season I’d go:

Fasan

Muirhead
Harrison
Dallison

Lewis
Sammut
Waddington
Owen-Evans
Froxylias

Haber
Mackin

Even then there’s still Mitchell, Brough, Buaben, Irving, McKee, Turner, MacLean and Jarvis who should all be in the mix as well.

[jagfox]

[stumigoo]

16 hours ago, D'Jaffo said:

Surely if you’re counting Aird as a Dundee Utd/QOTS player then Muirhead is a Falkirk/Ayr player therefore you’ve got too many Falkirk players?

Anyway,

Fasan - Falkirk

Watson - Dundee Utd
Bouhenna - Dundee Utd
Edjenguele - Falkirk/Dundee Utd
Melbourne - Partick

Barton - Dundee Utd
Dykes - Morton
Paton - Falkirk

Lewis - Falkirk
El Bakhtaoui - Dunfermline
Storey - Partick

That team would be absolute cannon fodder in this league.

I know this will be based on the occasions in which you have seen Bouhenna but over the course of the season there is not a chance he should be in this kind of team. Actually, on his day, I would suggest that he is one of the better defenders in the league. 

Edited May 12, 2019 by stumigoo

[Alert Mongoose]

GK - Martin (QoS) 

LB - Robson (Falkirk) 

CB - Devine (Dunf) 

CB - Bell (Ayr) 

RB - Murdoch (Utd) 

LM - Mcdaid (Ayr) 

CM - Paton (Falkirk) 

CM - Barton (Utd) 

RM - Storey (Partick) 

ST - R Stewart (County) 

ST - Doolan (Partick) 

Utter guff who would get football shut down. 

[port-ton]

We've literally been kicking the ball in to our own net all season while simultaneously not kicking the ball in to our opponents net and yet the only morton player I think who's been mentioned so far is Tidser for one game at left back.

It just confirms the absolute lack of quality that this league has had this year.

[Bairney The Dinosaur]

LB - Robson (Falkirk) 
Utter guff who would get football shut down. 

Fight me bitch.

[Honest_Man#1]

2 hours ago, Alert Mongoose said:

GK - Martin (QoS) 

LB - Robson (Falkirk) 

CB - Devine (Dunf) 

CB - Bell (Ayr) 

RB - Murdoch (Utd) 

LM - Mcdaid (Ayr) 

CM - Paton (Falkirk) 

CM - Barton (Utd) 

RM - Storey (Partick) 

ST - R Stewart (County) 

ST - Doolan (Partick) 

Utter guff who would get football shut down. 

McDaid being the one who absolutely ragdolled Utd earlier this season? Strange pick.

[jagfox]

2 hours ago, Alert Mongoose said:

) 

ST - Doolan (Partick) 

Utter guff who would get football shut down. 

Tony Ashgar  won’t like this 

[Yid_in_Exiile]

17 minutes ago, Honest_Man#1 said:

McDaid being the one who absolutely ragdolled Utd earlier this season? Strange pick.

Agreed. He's a inconsistent player for sure, and on one of his rank days he might make somebody's list, but he's nowhere near a Jobbers XI. Agree a strange choice for an Arab who must have surely watched Deci tear them a new arsehole on that 0-5  Friday evening?.

Also, if rumours are true, he may be playing for Dundee Utd next season.   

Edited May 12, 2019 by Yid_in_Exiile

[Tartan Tammy 1297]

20 hours ago, parxyz said:

 

Similar to the idea of the PFA Team of the Season, I set you all the challenge of coming up with the biggest starting XI of absolute jobbers we've seen this season.

 

Rules:

 

No more from 4 players per club (would be too easy to pick the full Falkirk team).

 

Has to have made at least 5 appearances in the league this season.

 

 

 

GK: Alan Martin (QOTS)

 

Hasn't exactly been the most reliable keeper for Queen's this season, and was spectacularly banned and fined after giving his own fans an 'unsavoury gesture'.

 

DC: Danny Devine (Dunfermline)

 

Actual f**k knows why we signed this boy on a 2 year contract. Limited footballing ability, and it's a shame to say I could have picked out our other 2 CBs for this spot. Stuck with him for next season though.

 

DC: William Edjenguele (Falkirk)

 

The 'Edge' appeared a half-reliable no-nonsense CB when he first signed for Falkirk, but he can't escape this team. Knocking himself out by head butting his teammate and letting Morton score, essentially consigning Falkirk to their impending doom is my absolute highlight of this season.

 

DC: Aaron Muirhead (Ayr)

 

Was looking to include someone from Ayr to account for their mid-season collapse and it's easiest to pick Muirhead, as he joined in January. Once again, a limited player, who isn't exactly the reliable centre back he once was. (Nothing to do with Falkirk, honest)

 

MR: Fraser Aird (Dundee Utd/QOTS)

 

After impressing with Dunfermline the season prior, everyone's favourite *** made the move to Dundee Utd, where he failed to impress. He was later offloaded to Queens on loan, where he has continued his poor run of form. Think he will improve under the right management however.

 

MC: Paul Paton (Falkirk)

 

Falkirk's midfield has been their main let down this season, and Paton epitomises this season for them. Slow, bulky, limited. He again was once a decent player at this level but a drop down the leagues beckons for him imo.

 

MC: Abdul Osman (Falkirk)

 

#itsnoteasy

 

MR: Kallum Higginbotham (Dunfermline)

 

On his day he could light up EEP but sadly not seen one of those games from Higgy for the best part of two seasons. He's been incredibly poor this season, but similar to Aird, under the right management he could thrive in League 1.

 

FC: Lyndon Dykes (QOTS)

 

An ever present in the queens side this season, and has somehow secured a move to Livi. He's been incredibly poor whenever I have seen him, and has 2 goals in 36 appearances. Queens were forced to rely upon him after Dobbie's injury, but he didn't appear and they since slipped down into 9th.

 

FC: Robbie Muirhead (Dunfermline)

 

Dunfermline paid money for this man at the start of the season, and in 12 appearances he has 0 goals. An absolute donkey up front, and his transfer fee has contributed to Dunfermline's new financial woes.

 

FC: Dennon Lewis (Falkirk)

 

Perhaps the biggest jobber of the lot. Confronting his own fans on twitter, and allegedly receiving racial abuse from his own fans in return. Also, 16 games with no goals. The kind of player that sums up Falkirk's recruitment over the past two seasons.

 

Manager: Ray McKinnon (Falkirk)

 

Needs no explanation. Snake b*****d. Got what he deserved. Cheerio.

 

 

My knowledge of the league is pretty poor so just going off what I've seen and read. Sure you can all do a better job

 

 

 

 

 

Lewis was he not in a Limmy Dee Dee sketch?

[Alert Mongoose]

55 minutes ago, Yid_in_Exiile said:

Agreed. He's a inconsistent player for sure, and on one of his rank days he might make somebody's list, but he's nowhere near a Jobbers XI. Agree a strange choice for an Arab who must have surely watched Deci tear them a new arsehole on that 0-5  Friday evening?.

Also, if rumours are true, he may be playing for Dundee Utd next season.   

I watched 80 minutes of that game through my fingers....