Jump to content

Scottish Football Missile Assault


Recommended Posts

3 hours ago, Billy Rubin said:

I think we should have a competition:  What's the more bizarre thing you can chuck into to pitch?      

I wanna see a Teabags, Abacus, giant teddy bear, food blender, rubber snake, jumperoo, sewing machine etc.   

This is the real league.   

A Werewolf would be good at an OF game.  The determination of its “big team” would be good on P&B.  I’m not sure you could “chuck” a Werewolf on to the pitch though.

Just getting it into the ground, unless you knew when the transformation was due would be difficult.  Although if anyone knows how then go for it....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 93
  • Created
  • Last Reply
5 hours ago, Green Day said:

Part of the issue (and this isnt a pop at Hearts, issue is exactly the same at ER) is that we pay poorly trained stewards sweeties, dont train them properly and it seems obvious that they are only there to fulfil licencing requirements.

At Tynie yesterday, I flashed my ticket once a the outer "cordon" then we walked straight up the turnstiles and in.

No checks, nothing.

Other people reported being patted down on the way in.

No consistency,  and the young coked up team always seem to be able to smuggle in the drugs, flares, smokebombs etc.

Was at tynecastle last week and Dens yesterday. I was searched at neither but saw others being patted down so the strategy is just random and not everyone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, big al said:

Was at tynecastle last week and Dens yesterday. I was searched at neither but saw others being patted down so the strategy is just random and not everyone.

Tynecastle last week and Dens yesterday.... I'd have chucked my eyeballs on the pitch by now...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

These are the things I'd like to see chucked on to the pitch in Scottish football;

 

A prosthetic limb

An incorrectly completed tax return

A Betamax player

A set of comedy rubber breasts

A novelty lampshade

A side of beef

Bicycle shorts

A royal flush

The Yellow Pages of 1987

Michael Jackson's white glove

A human spleen

A potted bonsai plant

An Edinburgh tram

The Undertaker's urn

A comedy inflatable lobster, fully inflated

An out of date medical textbook

A used placenta

A soggy glove puppet

A donkey's dick

A piano key necktie

A scout badge for working with the elderly 

A badger's set

A burst couch 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Jambomo said:

How do you get a coconut into a ground anyway?

Funnily enough I asked my wife this question, and she said ....” in your hood”.  As if I was stupid?

Honestly I’ve never tried it but I think it would work.

 Your average coconut pervert already knows this, but stewards know what they look like, I would hope?

My wife is not a coconut pervert ( at least I hope so).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Moomintroll
These are the things I'd like to see chucked on to the pitch in Scottish football;
 
A prosthetic limb
An incorrectly completed tax return
A Betamax player
A set of comedy rubber breasts
A novelty lampshade
A side of beef
Bicycle shorts
A royal flush
The Yellow Pages of 1987
Michael Jackson's white glove
A human spleen
A potted bonsai plant
An Edinburgh tram
The Undertaker's urn
A comedy inflatable lobster, fully inflated
An out of date medical textbook
A used placenta
A soggy glove puppet
A donkey's dick
A piano key necktie
A scout badge for working with the elderly 
A badger's set
A burst couch 
 
,+1 for the side of beef.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Moomintroll said:
33 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:
These are the things I'd like to see chucked on to the pitch in Scottish football;
 
A prosthetic limb
An incorrectly completed tax return
A Betamax player
A set of comedy rubber breasts
A novelty lampshade
A side of beef
Bicycle shorts
A royal flush
The Yellow Pages of 1987
Michael Jackson's white glove
A human spleen
A potted bonsai plant
An Edinburgh tram
The Undertaker's urn
A comedy inflatable lobster, fully inflated
An out of date medical textbook
A used placenta
A soggy glove puppet
A donkey's dick
A piano key necktie
A scout badge for working with the elderly 
A badger's set
A burst couch 
 

,+1 for the side of beef.

That is how you’d get the Werewolf on the pitch?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, NFL12 said:

That is how you’d get the Werewolf on the pitch?

Like you mentioned, you'd need to know the time of transformation. That's the key.

You'd have to pick them up mid transformation and chuck them just at the end of it so that they land on the pitch as a werewolf.

All about the timing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Adam101 said:

I think the whole thing can be pinned on 90 minute drug addicts ;)

 

 

Adam, you are behind the curve here.

Werewolves are real.

Just ask  DA  Baracus.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

39 minutes ago, NFL12 said:

Funnily enough I asked my wife this question, and she said ....” in your hood”.  As if I was stupid?

Honestly I’ve never tried it but I think it would work.

 Your average coconut pervert already knows this, but stewards know what they look like, I would hope?

My wife is not a coconut pervert ( at least I hope so).

My hood was the first thing I thought of.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...