Snakes and wretches.

[D.A.F.C]

Sorry if I bore people to tears with it but I can’t help it. If someone was bothering you in a pub or in the street you can deal with it by walking away or having a go back. At work you can be trapped by it and it eats up so much of you because you feel there’s no escape. 

People lie to your face and backstab, make up lies, deny them change your reality it’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s quite common to develop a form of ptsd and anxiety from it and also to try and talk about it all the time. I find it helps but if people find it annoying or amusing then that’s ok.

Some people can just ignore it or brush it off but I was dealing with this every day and also getting shit from my neighbours at home and it casused my a kind of depression which I’m still trying to overcome. Thankfuly the neighbours are so fucked up that they can’t cause any noise so it’s easier to deal with. I tried to sort out the work thing by escalating it to management and it seems to have calmed down for now but I do expect some sort of comeback from it because my trust has been worn away so much. It’s a horrible situation to feel under attack because you do your job well or show others up. It wasn’t my intention but the place was toxic long before my time. You would really have to go through it yourself to experience and understand it. It happens over a long period and sneaks up on you. It’s the lying and denial that is the worst for me. People lying to your face without flinching is pretty frightening. I really don’t see how any decent person can defend spying, lying, stealing and bullying people for business reasons.

 

[DA Baracus]

If you get pulled in for something and you then start telling on others for the same thing, it just comes across very poorly.

 

For a start it comes across as deflection, not to mention quite petty. It comes across as a poor excuse as well. It also seems like you’re telling on someone else to be vindictive, especially when they ask why you waited until you were caught to tell them. It’s almost like a kid grassing in their sibling or mate out of spite and to try and make themselves feel better about it. To a boss it will also appear that you’re not taking on what they’re saying and not accepting responsibility.

 

If you’re pulled in for something that you shouldn’t be doing, then it doesn’t really matter if other folk have been doing it. You shouldn’t be doing it and that’s your fault. Take some responsibility about it and don’t worry about the others who are doing it, because if you really were all that concerned you could have talked to them about it or even talked to the manager/boss before you were caught doing it.

 

@D.A.F.C, that's not a personal comment on you, but in general.

[D.A.F.C]

If you get pulled in for something and you then start telling on others for the same thing, it just comes across very poorly.
 
For a start it comes across as deflection, not to mention quite petty. It comes across as a poor excuse as well. It also seems like you’re telling on someone else to be vindictive, especially when they ask why you waited until you were caught to tell them. It’s almost like a kid grassing in their sibling or mate out of spite and to try and make themselves feel better about it. To a boss it will also appear that you’re not taking on what they’re saying and not accepting responsibility.
 
If you’re pulled in for something that you shouldn’t be doing, then it doesn’t really matter if other folk have been doing it. You shouldn’t be doing it and that’s your fault. Take some responsibility about it and don’t worry about the others who are doing it, because if you really were all that concerned you could have talked to them about it or even talked to the manager/boss before you were caught doing it.
 
[mention=59448]D.A.F.C[/mention], that's not a personal comment on you, but in general.

If the manager had colleagues that weren't punished for the same thing and hr were about to get involved I would argue that the manager was being unnecessarily vindictive towards one person. Especially when they had told you they were tying to get rid of you and made violent gestures at you. It would be foolish to sit back and let them walk all over you when it was so obvious surely?
It's also not my place to spy or check up on others and report them but that happened also from a colleague who isn't supposed to be doing that so that gives me free reign to do the same doesn't it?

[Hedgecutter]

A guy that I have to deal with is always trying to make out that my work is backing up his interpretations even if he clearly had a different one before I waded in with the one HQ eventually ran with.  Pretty sure he's paranoid over keeping his job and would stop at nothing to see my role binned over his (even though both of us are in essential roles)

The sort of brown-nosing, trying-too-hard, scrambling for relevance type that you know would stab you in the back at any opportunity whilst trying to act like your best mate at lunch or socials. Unfortunately for me, this guy is effectively my supervisor.

 

Edited April 1, 2019 by Hedgecutter

[DA Baracus]

1 minute ago, D.A.F.C said:

If the manager had colleagues that weren't punished for the same thing and hr were about to get involved I would argue that the manager was being unnecessarily vindictive towards one person. Especially when they had told you they were tying to get rid of you and made violent gestures at you. It would be foolish to sit back and let them walk all over you when it was so obvious surely?
It's also not my place to spy or check up on others and report them but that happened also from a colleague who isn't supposed to be doing that so that gives me free reign to do the same doesn't it?

As I said, I was talking generally.

You're talking about a very specific situation.

In your situation, the manager can quite easily claim that they didn't know about the other colleagues doing whatever it is they shouldn't, even if they did know. It still doesn't excuse someone for doing something they shouldn't. If a manager is being a dick, don't give them ammunition. 

Also no, it doesn't give you free reign to do something simply because someone else has done it. That's a terrible argument.

[Honest_Man#1]

55 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

Sorry if I bore people to tears with it but I can’t help it. If someone was bothering you in a pub or in the street you can deal with it by walking away or having a go back. At work you can be trapped by it and it eats up so much of you because you feel there’s no escape. 

People lie to your face and backstab, make up lies, deny them change your reality it’s horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. It’s quite common to develop a form of ptsd and anxiety from it and also to try and talk about it all the time. I find it helps but if people find it annoying or amusing then that’s ok.

Some people can just ignore it or brush it off but I was dealing with this every day and also getting shit from my neighbours at home and it casused my a kind of depression which I’m still trying to overcome. Thankfuly the neighbours are so fucked up that they can’t cause any noise so it’s easier to deal with. I tried to sort out the work thing by escalating it to management and it seems to have calmed down for now but I do expect some sort of comeback from it because my trust has been worn away so much. It’s a horrible situation to feel under attack because you do your job well or show others up. It wasn’t my intention but the place was toxic long before my time. You would really have to go through it yourself to experience and understand it. It happens over a long period and sneaks up on you. It’s the lying and denial that is the worst for me. People lying to your face without flinching is pretty frightening. I really don’t see how any decent person can defend spying, lying, stealing and bullying people for business reasons.

 

As others have said, no surprise to see you in this thread. You seem unbelievably bitter about your bad experience, to the point where you’ve admitted you would grass other colleagues in. Shitebag move.

You complain about management and snakes a lot, but then you’ve also mentioned god knows how many times about “showing up” colleagues by working harder and being better than everyone else and then being bullied because your colleagues don’t like you “showing them up”, which to me suggests you must be actively trying to make management aware that you’re better than them. Not surprised you’ve had bad experiences.

Between the neighbours and the multiple examples of workplace experiences where you’re seemingly surrounded by snakes and backstabbers, it does to an outsider appear that there’s only one common link to all of these situations.

[D.A.F.C]

I never went into the situation with any intention other than to do my job. If you have a toxic situation where colleagues are toxic and telling you to slow down and making a fool out of you it would seem to be entirely not my fault. I cant slow down on a probationary period. This was one job out of eight. The other one was just an oddball manager who did the same thing to another colleague after I left.
I would be easy to just say I'm to blame because it happened twice but is that not like saying a person who got beat up and assaulted twice in two locations must have done something to deserve it?
If that was the case then why do I get on with other neighbours and don't feel under attack outside work?
Like I said you really need to experience it for yourself to understand it. It's a complicated thing and if you take time to research mobbing you would understand how sneaky and underhand it is and how you do start to doubt yourself and what actually happened. Thankfully I've documented it all.

[sparky88]

19 hours ago, heedthebaa said:

No it didn’t make it right and I did pull him later in the day 

Make up sex is always the best kind of sex

[Florentine_Pogen]

On 31/03/2019 at 16:46, Melanius Mullarkey said:

This thread is frot with sexual tension.

Carry on.

FTFY.

[Busta Nut]

What's @D.A.F.C.'s deal?

[Flybhoy]

18 minutes ago, Busta Nut said:

What's @D.A.F.C.'s deal?

Three gram for 80 quid. 

[MONKMAN]

I for one am shocked that @D.A.F.C.‘s colleagues think he’s an utter c**t.

Edited April 1, 2019 by MONKMAN

[DA Baracus]

Come on, don't be dicks.

It's clear D.A.F.C. had a pretty shit time and it's badly hurt him, possibly even traumatised him a bit. Not a nice or easy thing to deal with, and it must be hard for him to trust folk in certain situations.

I think he's still trying to deal with it and it's coloured his views on things and how he approaches situations at work, and he might not be dealing with certain things in the right way going by his posts here.

It seems like a defensive way, and given the past experiences he's hinted at I totally get it, even though there's things I don't agree with as per the posts further up this thread.

 

[Enigma]

Townie weirdo.

[D.A.F.C]

37 minutes ago, DA Baracus said:

Come on, don't be dicks.

It's clear D.A.F.C. had a pretty shit time and it's badly hurt him, possibly even traumatised him a bit. Not a nice or easy thing to deal with, and it must be hard for him to trust folk in certain situations.

I think he's still trying to deal with it and it's coloured his views on things and how he approaches situations at work, and he might not be dealing with certain things in the right way going by his posts here.

It seems like a defensive way, and given the past experiences he's hinted at I totally get it, even though there's things I don't agree with as per the posts further up this thread.

 

I really appreciate what you’ve said here and you are right about everything pretty much. Really hope that anyone making light of someone stuck in a bad situation never has to go through it themselves. I’m not looking for sympathy, not looking for validation just for a decent chance to be myself and go to work without being hassled and tormented. I’ve had this shit for pretty much over a decade and I’ve had enough of fighting a war I didn’t start or deserve.

Telling me I’ve deserved this is like a red rag to a bull though, I think it would be best to ignore threads like these.

Edited April 1, 2019 by D.A.F.C

[Skerla]

13 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

Telling me I’ve deserved this is like a red rag to a bull though, I think it would be best to ignore threads like these

[LincolnHearts]

On 01/04/2019 at 17:18, sparky88 said:

Make up sex is always the best kind of sex

Not if you're in jail it isn't.

[Flybhoy]

1 hour ago, LincolnHearts said:

Not if you're in jail it isn't.

To be fair to Ed Norton, he turned his life around in American History X  after that unfortunate shower incident. 

[Priti priti priti Patel]

On 3/31/2019 at 19:31, D.A.F.C said:

Would I f**k sit there and take different treatment from others. They can’t treat people differently legally.

Aye they can.

On 3/31/2019 at 21:05, D.A.F.C said:

If he was dossing about all day when you worked like a demon then ok but that still doesn’t make it right. If that worker had went to a union or hr the manager couldn’t get away with it when it’s so obvious.

Aye they could.

[Brother Blades]

Possibly the strangest bump ever?