ScottishZizou Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Looking to remember some awful/cult hero type footballers with this purely because I enjoy reminiscing about some of the players who have graced the wonderful Scottish game. Not necessarily looking for the worst players but just guys you can't really take seriously/ would laugh in the pub about how they ever played for you, very much endorsing shoehorning players in. says a lot about how bad Aberdeen have been during my lifetime that I could have done this about 5 times. GK- Bertrand Bossu - one of many hilarious Aberdeen Goalies who somehow couldn't dethrone the Langfield dynasty RB- Thomas Solberg- May not have been that bad but in my youth he was the definition of a bad footballer to me CB- Dave Bus- a hilarious own goal away at Caley sticks out in my mind CB- Davide Grassi- No explanation required LB- Iliyan Kiryakov- played 6 times in a World Cup finishing 4th. Played for Aberdeen then straight to Airdrie MF- Jeffrey De Visscher- Seemingly only managed 1 league goal in over 30 appearances and would accept friend requests from anyone on facebook MF- Javan Vidal- Versatile midfield and defence option MF- Paul Bernard- An absolute bargain at £1 million FW- Mo Chalali- Absolutely raised the roof at Tannadice once FW- Leon Mike- have memories of him scoring a goal and simultaneously breaking the net by falling in to it with Stefan Klos (could be wrong) FW-John "Budgie" Stewart- Somehow scored a very late winner at parkhead that I was listening to on the radio Honourable mentions- Yoann Folly, Lauren't Djaffo, Mark Gonzalez, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AyrTroopMajor Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 GK - Barry John Corr - Conceded 4 in the first half at home to Ross County, was told by fans at the HT whistle to get to f**k. Was subbed at half time and never seen again. RB - Jean Yves Anis - Very excited to sign someone with an exotic sounding name. Shouldn't have been. Disappeared about 5 minutes after arriving. CB - Craig Beattie - Yep, him. In a move that I can only imagine was just for banter, Mark Roberts decided to give him the number 5 shirt and play him at Centre Back. Shockingly enough, we lost. CB - Mark Campbell - Nothing wrong with him as a defender, but decided to list him after remembering that The Sun tried to claim Arsenal were after him. His next club? Falkirk. LB - Jonathan Tiffoney - Wanted to leave Ayr thinking he was destined for the very top. Ended up playing as an Amateur for Alloa. Rather than becoming the galactico he thought he was, he is now a part time footballer and full time sex offender, having been added to the Register for taking indecent images of a woman and sending them to other people. RM - Mark Duthie - Seemed to hit a wild shot out of the ground at least once per game. Must have smashed more windows during his career than he scored goals. CM - Steve Bowey - Excellent player, not at fault at all for our eventual relegation. Just a completely random loan signing from England, looked about 65 years old but strolled through games. CM - David Sinclair - Absolutely rancid footballer, loved a 40 yard ping straight onto the railway line. Last seen holding a fish in the newspaper. LM - Ryan Caddis. Absolutely electric talent when he signed, he then had a late penalty at home to Dunfermline to get through to the next round of the cup. Everyone got their first generation camera phone out to record this triumph. He slotted it straight into the keeper's arms, hand his career crumbled immediately. Never the same player again. CF - Junior Mendes - Scrapping with Morton at Cappielow on the last day of the season, needed to get something from the game to stay up. At 2-1 down, Junior Mendes decided to walk off the pitch as his wrist-tape had come undone. Spent 5 minutes pissing around trying to find some replacement tape while our Championship status was evaporating beside him. CF - Michael Moore - Wtf. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dons_1988 Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 1 hour ago, ScottishZizou said: Looking to remember some awful/cult hero type footballers with this purely because I enjoy reminiscing about some of the players who have graced the wonderful Scottish game. Not necessarily looking for the worst players but just guys you can't really take seriously/ would laugh in the pub about how they ever played for you, very much endorsing shoehorning players in. says a lot about how bad Aberdeen have been during my lifetime that I could have done this about 5 times. GK- Bertrand Bossu - one of many hilarious Aberdeen Goalies who somehow couldn't dethrone the Langfield dynasty RB- Thomas Solberg- May not have been that bad but in my youth he was the definition of a bad footballer to me CB- Dave Bus- a hilarious own goal away at Caley sticks out in my mind CB- Davide Grassi- No explanation required LB- Iliyan Kiryakov- played 6 times in a World Cup finishing 4th. Played for Aberdeen then straight to Airdrie MF- Jeffrey De Visscher- Seemingly only managed 1 league goal in over 30 appearances and would accept friend requests from anyone on facebook MF- Javan Vidal- Versatile midfield and defence option MF- Paul Bernard- An absolute bargain at £1 million FW- Mo Chalali- Absolutely raised the roof at Tannadice once FW- Leon Mike- have memories of him scoring a goal and simultaneously breaking the net by falling in to it with Stefan Klos (could be wrong) FW-John "Budgie" Stewart- Somehow scored a very late winner at parkhead that I was listening to on the radio Honourable mentions- Yoann Folly, Lauren't Djaffo, Mark Gonzalez, Josh Parker, laughably bad footballer and best known for appearing on Come dine with me during his loan with us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Here is a Celtic XI of players who were either humerously inept, generally entertaining characters, and cult heroes from the last 20 or so years. GK - Artur Boruc - A completely mad goalie, also had a knack of winding up Rangers fans which is always fun RB - Saidy Janko - a lot of pace, absolutely no defensive ability CB- Bobo Balde - A mad central defender, cult hero CB - Efe Ambrose - A charming fellow with a habit of commiting the most ridiculous of errors, the friendly bombscare LB - Tyler Blackett - Brought in on loan as cover for Izaguirre, was hopeless, only saving grace was that his ineptitude paved the way for Kieran Tierney to get game time RM - Paddy McCourt - A great entertainer, an ultimate cult hero CM - Thomas Gravesen - The legendary madman CM- Willo Flood - Best remembered in modern times first for a heads gone moment with Dundee United and then 9 days in Dunfermline but with Celtic he was hopeless LM - Derk Boerrigter - spent big money on the Netherlands international, he turned out to be shite and his last moment in a Celtic shirt was a red card for diving FW- Paolo di Canio - Another unhinged European, made a career of heads gone moments FW- Nadir Ciftci - Another mad b*****d, looked completely out of his depth at Celtic though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flybhoy Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 GK. Artur Boruc, provoked a hilarious amount of seethe from the ****, responded to Aiden McGeady calling him a fat p***k at training once by cracking him a right hander, bad idea Aiden. Defence. Stephane Mahe, had the mother of all meltdowns against the **** that culminated in faux outrage from snowflakes watching on TV and Hugh Dallas getting his head split open by a pound coin. Mick McCarthy, my abiding memory of the big man in a Celtic jersey is of him smashing Crawford Baptie of Falkirk at CP with a quite magnificent right hander that would have done Mike Tyson proud then heading straight up the tunnel before the referee even pulled his red card out. Bobo Balde, built like a brick shithouse and was known to have a temper to match his intimidating physique as the story of his half time set to with Tiago Motta of Barcelona testify. Cha Du Ri, scored the most ridiculous own goal I have ever seen at a match i've attended in Rennes in 2010, his song that resulted in Nicole Sherzinger awkwardly walking away from Kevin Bridges is a thing of wonder... "Don't ya wish your right back was Cha Du Ri..." Midfield. Paolo Di Canio, absolute fucking nutjob, tales of him stomping off the old training ground at Barrowfield in a huff and walking along London Rd in his boots ranting and raving are renowned as is his planting several dead fish in Peter Grant's bed who had a phobia of fishes, his set to with torn faced *** b*****d Ian Ferguson with leg snapping gesture is still vivid in my mind. Alan Thompson, *** skelper on many occasions, just as likely to get a red card against them as well, rumoured to have been sacked by Neil Lennon from his coaching post for constantly turning up pished. Scott Brown, the man opponents love to hate but you'd guess most/all would rather have him inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in. Another who provokes uber seethe from der ***, can be traced back to his magnificent taunting of that utter cock El Hadji Diouf after a goal at Ibrox. Paddy McCourt, the Derry Pele, blessed with the skill of the likes very few of this era could match, magnificent close control, unfortunately offset by having the fitness levels of a 15 pints of Guinness per day alcoholic by most of the time guzzling 15 pints of Guinness per day, looked like he worked on the bin lorries. Strikers Leigh Griffiths, phenomenal goal scorer, not the brightest bulb in the shop by his own admission and has about 86 kids or something due to being a serial shagger, when on his game he genuinely just loves playing and scoring, have to wonder aloud if he can come back to be the player he was and is still capable of being since his latest setback, another like several mentioned on here who regularly provokes cranium detachment from ****. Frank Mcavennie, top player, top goalscorer, top Celtic man and top shagger, for younger readers the myths and stereotypes of him are almost entirely true, used to fly down to London after games to get it on at Stringfellows with a squad of page 3 darlings, earned him the nickname of the 'shuttlecock'. Had a few brushes with the law too post retirement involving large briefcases full of cash and cocaine, always has been and always will be just a daft lad from the Milton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wellinwigan Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 1. Hugh Sproat .. loved a swing on the crossbar 2. Joe Wark ... hero 3. Anthony Straker ... never a footballer but hilarious too watch 4. Alex Kennedy...Ginger hair and crap 5. Graeme Forbes... the original psycho 6.Marus Klimpl...Slovakian nutter 7.John Davies....Billys brother utter gubbins 8. Crawford Baptie... Bawford Craptie 9. Esteban Casagolda...words fail me 10. Colin O'neil... Peter Grants friend 11. Eliphas Shivute.... fast as f**k but never a footballer Honourable mentions Abel Thermus... the flask Andy Roddie ... shite big Eck signing Alan Sneddon...shite but good moustache Countless others that I have tried forget Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Khaki Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 I think it's quite telling that every post so far contains at least one player who would be included in the Dundee FC entry. I'm not attempting it for fear I'd rupture a blood vessel or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 22 hours ago, ScottishZizou said: Looking to remember some awful/cult hero type footballers with this purely because I enjoy reminiscing about some of the players who have graced the wonderful Scottish game. Not necessarily looking for the worst players but just guys you can't really take seriously/ would laugh in the pub about how they ever played for you, very much endorsing shoehorning players in. says a lot about how bad Aberdeen have been during my lifetime that I could have done this about 5 times. GK- Bertrand Bossu - one of many hilarious Aberdeen Goalies who somehow couldn't dethrone the Langfield dynasty RB- Thomas Solberg- May not have been that bad but in my youth he was the definition of a bad footballer to me CB- Dave Bus- a hilarious own goal away at Caley sticks out in my mind CB- Davide Grassi- No explanation required LB- Iliyan Kiryakov- played 6 times in a World Cup finishing 4th. Played for Aberdeen then straight to Airdrie MF- Jeffrey De Visscher- Seemingly only managed 1 league goal in over 30 appearances and would accept friend requests from anyone on facebook MF- Javan Vidal- Versatile midfield and defence option MF- Paul Bernard- An absolute bargain at £1 million FW- Mo Chalali- Absolutely raised the roof at Tannadice once FW- Leon Mike- have memories of him scoring a goal and simultaneously breaking the net by falling in to it with Stefan Klos (could be wrong) FW-John "Budgie" Stewart- Somehow scored a very late winner at parkhead that I was listening to on the radio Honourable mentions- Yoann Folly, Lauren't Djaffo, Mark Gonzalez, Bit harsh on Paul Bernard who looks completely out of place among that lot for the simple reason that he was a decent player. When fit. Which wasn't often. I'd give his place in your midfield to Jamie Winter. According to Wikipedia "he failed to make an impact" with us. I'd have to disagree with that. He made an impact on me by being the worst player who got fairly regular first-team action that I've seen in over 40 years following the Dons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coprolite Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 22 hours ago, ScottishZizou said: Looking to remember some awful/cult hero type footballers with this purely because I enjoy reminiscing about some of the players who have graced the wonderful Scottish game. Not necessarily looking for the worst players but just guys you can't really take seriously/ would laugh in the pub about how they ever played for you, very much endorsing shoehorning players in. says a lot about how bad Aberdeen have been during my lifetime that I could have done this about 5 times. GK- Bertrand Bossu - one of many hilarious Aberdeen Goalies who somehow couldn't dethrone the Langfield dynasty RB- Thomas Solberg- May not have been that bad but in my youth he was the definition of a bad footballer to me CB- Dave Bus- a hilarious own goal away at Caley sticks out in my mind CB- Davide Grassi- No explanation required LB- Iliyan Kiryakov- played 6 times in a World Cup finishing 4th. Played for Aberdeen then straight to Airdrie MF- Jeffrey De Visscher- Seemingly only managed 1 league goal in over 30 appearances and would accept friend requests from anyone on facebook MF- Javan Vidal- Versatile midfield and defence option MF- Paul Bernard- An absolute bargain at £1 million FW- Mo Chalali- Absolutely raised the roof at Tannadice once FW- Leon Mike- have memories of him scoring a goal and simultaneously breaking the net by falling in to it with Stefan Klos (could be wrong) FW-John "Budgie" Stewart- Somehow scored a very late winner at parkhead that I was listening to on the radio Honourable mentions- Yoann Folly, Lauren't Djaffo, Mark Gonzalez, I saw the thread title and thought "Bossu". There is room in your midfield for Rachid Belabed and his completely unnecessary overhead kicks, the crazy jihadi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Muzza81 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 23 hours ago, ScottishZizou said: FW- Leon Mike- have memories of him scoring a goal and simultaneously breaking the net by falling in to it with Stefan Klos (could be wrong) I was actually at this as a nipper. Sure you were 2-0 down and he got 2 to bring it back to 2-2? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 21 hours ago, senorsoupe said: LM - Derk Boerrigter - spent big money on the Netherlands international, he turned out to be shite and his last moment in a Celtic shirt was a red card for diving Not to be pedantic, but he didn't get a red for that dive, he got the penalty and Mackay was sent off. When it was reviewed, and everyone saw zero contact, and him taking three steps away from the defender then crumpling, he got cited and suspended. Still the most laughable penalty decision I've ever seen in the flesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 1 minute ago, RandomGuy. said: Not to be pedantic, but he didn't get a red for that dive, he got the penalty and Mackay was sent off. When it was reviewed, and everyone saw zero contact, and him taking three steps away from the defender then crumpling, he got cited and suspended. Still the most laughable penalty decision I've ever seen. Right, sorry. got my terrible decisions by Scottish refs mixed up (there are just too many of them). He was still an absolute fraud, humorously inept Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandomGuy. Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 5 minutes ago, senorsoupe said: Right, sorry. got my terrible decisions by Scottish refs mixed up (there are just too many of them). He was still an absolute fraud, humorously inept Its genuinely amazing, no idea who the ref was tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
senorsoupe Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 8 minutes ago, RandomGuy. said: Its genuinely amazing, no idea who the ref was tbh. I was able to find the game summary on Soccerway, if this is accurate then the ref was John Beaton https://int.soccerway.com/matches/2014/08/13/scotland/premier-league/saint-johnstone-fc/celtic-fc/1704269/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PauloPerth Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 8 hours ago, RandomGuy. said: Its genuinely amazing, no idea who the ref was tbh. Was that the game where we'd just had our stonewall penalty appeal turned down at the other end? Or was that the one where Thomson gave the penalty against Watson for having a hand and there being a ball on the same pitch. I get my cheated-by-old-firm-ref moments mixed up! Conspiracy, SFA cheating etc etc.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeeTillEhDeh Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 HamiltonKerrInnissBoyleL MillerNabiSpenceNgwatalaDeaconMendyMoussa And we quite possibly had that line-up (or close to it) at one point this season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raidernation Posted February 20, 2019 Share Posted February 20, 2019 No mention of Darren Mackie the literary genius? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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