DA Baracus Posted January 26, 2019 Share Posted January 26, 2019 The muscles from Brussels! He's not the best actor but he was a massive badass who kicked the shit out of all sorts of bad guys with his mad legs that he stretched using trees (see Kickboxer, which I've just caught the end of and has inspired this thread). 1. A.W.O.L. - Like all his best films this involved a mad tournament. This one is simply better than the others. Van Damme's character, Lyon, runs away from the Foreign Legion after hearing that his brother was killed in L.A. He arrives in America to investigate the killing but is skint, so naturally competes in the big underground fighting ring. He batters all manner of opponents before facing the boss, a huge ruthless c**t, and like in all his films, Van Damme gets battered for a bit and looks like he'll lose before remembering what he's fighting for and making a huge comeback and winning. Ludicrous shit but hugely entertaining. 2. Timecop - Time Cop. Time. Cop. Just the title sells this brilliant bag of nonsense. Van Damme kicks a man through time at one point! None of it makes sense and it can't make sense. But it doesn't have to. Van Damme is a cop who tracks criminals who time travel to commit crime. He's a Time Cop. But when the Time Cop department is found to be behind time crimes, who can he trust and what can he do? Kick. He can kick. And he does. A lot. 3. Bloodsport - Van Damme as a kid is part of a gang that breaks in to an old Japanese guy's house. The old guy catches them and they all run off except kid Van Damme, who confesses and apologises. The old guy decides to train kid Van Damme in how to kick folk. Cut to years later and Van Damme runs away from the US Army after being invited to compete in a fighting tournament (this sounds familiar). He batters all manner of opponents before facing the boss, a huge ruthless c**t, and like in all his films, Van Damme gets battered for a bit and looks like he'll lose before remembering what he's fighting for and making a huge comeback and winning. 4. Kickboxer - Van Damme idolises his older brother who is a world champion kickboxer. He (the brother) travels to Thailand to take on a huge ruthless c**t who kicks the shit out of him and paralyses him. Van Damme swears revenge and so gets trained by an old Thai kickboxing lad, including the famous stretching by trees scene. Eventually Van Damme challenges the huge ruthless c**t who knackered his brother. Shenanigans ensue beforehand to put Van Damme off, including kidnapping his burst brother. They say they'll kill the brother unless Van Damme throws the fight. At first he does, but then his sensei saves his brother and they both teleport miles to the fight to let Van Damme everything is fine. Van Damme remembers what he's fighting for and makes a huge comeback and wins. 5. Street Fighter - A massively shit film that is just complete nonsense. Truly astonishingly stupid throughout. It is however so, so bad that it's hugely entertaining. The hero of Street Fighter was always Ryu. Van Damme therefore plays Guile and Ryu is reduced to a wee jobber. It's Raul Julia, in his last ever film, as M Bison who steals this due to a truly brilliant performance that is heroically overblown and over the top. See the video below for the best lines he gives. Anyway, folk fight (although not on streets) and eventually Bison and Guile face off in a winner takes all contest. This is a mentally dumb fight. You know how it goes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BFTD Posted January 27, 2019 Share Posted January 27, 2019 Massive cock who would deliberately make contact with opponents in fight scenes, a la Steven Seagal. He blinded one poor b*****d. That said, I loved Universal Soldier when it came out. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted January 30, 2019 Share Posted January 30, 2019 Hard target 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 1. Legionnaire2. Universal Solider3. Kickboxer4. Double Impact5. Blood Sport 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highlandcowden Posted February 1, 2019 Share Posted February 1, 2019 1 2 3 4 5 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonhound17 Posted February 8, 2019 Share Posted February 8, 2019 Hard targetBloodsportKnock offTimecopKickboxer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estragon Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 On 27/01/2019 at 00:18, BigFatTabbyDave said: Massive cock who would deliberately make contact with opponents in fight scenes, a la Steven Seagal. He blinded one poor b*****d. Dave, that "poor b*****d" had killed his brother. Were you not paying attention?! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venti Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 Bloodsport Double Impact Hard Target Universal Soldier Kickboxer 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 Van Damme loved an exceedingly high waistline on a set of baggy trousers, usually with a cheap shirt tucked in. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutz_the_Squirrel Posted February 12, 2019 Share Posted February 12, 2019 On 26/01/2019 at 23:37, DA Baracus said: 4. Kickboxer - Van Damme idolises his older brother who is a world champion kickboxer. He (the brother) travels to Thailand to take on a huge ruthless c**t who kicks the shit out of him and paralyses him. Van Damme swears revenge and so gets trained by an old Thai kickboxing lad, including the famous stretching by trees scene. Eventually Van Damme challenges the huge ruthless c**t who knackered his brother. Shenanigans ensue beforehand to put Van Damme off, including kidnapping his burst brother. They say they'll kill the brother unless Van Damme throws the fight. At first he does, but then his sensei saves his brother and they both teleport miles to the fight to let Van Damme everything is fine. Van Damme remembers what he's fighting for and makes a huge comeback and wins. The bad guy, Tong Po, gets a mention from me EVERY time my wife asks me what I want to order from the Chinese. Without fail, I clench my fist and shout BRING ME KUNG PAO.* *i have never actually went through with an order for Kung Pao 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted February 12, 2019 Author Share Posted February 12, 2019 46 minutes ago, Nutz_the_Squirrel said: The bad guy, Tong Po, gets a mention from me EVERY time my wife asks me what I want to order from the Chinese. Without fail, I clench my fist and shout BRING ME KUNG PAO.* *i have never actually went through with an order for Kung Pao This is excellent! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eddiemunster Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 1. Bloodsport 2. JCVD 3. Kickboxer 4. Universal Soldier 5. Double Impact 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crroma Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 I cried during kickboxerI've never had the chance to watch timecop 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D.A.F.C Posted April 4, 2019 Share Posted April 4, 2019 He played the Predator originally but wanted it to be a fast kick boxer type alien and left after a disagreement. Reckon it would have been pretty awesome to be a kickboxer with that weaponry. It didn’t really fit that something so big could get up and down trees so easily imo. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted April 24, 2019 Author Share Posted April 24, 2019 Bloodsport is on 5Spike just now 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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