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MixuFixit

Infuriating things your parents do

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My mother hums and sings nonsense to herself, in true "dooby-dooby-doo GLOVES!" fashion. If there's any music on, she'll increase her volume to compensate.

My father absorbs The Daily Mail in the same way that Rabbis study the Talmud, and attempts to teach his 'findings' in the same manner.

Most damningly, they're both partially responsible for me  :shutup

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My Dad is brilliant but he loves reading papers all the time. I noticed it more after I moved out and went back at Christmas or to watch a game. 

He has to read every single word and folds the paper over and reads the entire page. The pinnacle was when he pulled out a paper in the bar at Firhill and I burst out laughing. He fucking loves reading papers.

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17 minutes ago, D.A.F.C said:

My Dad is brilliant but he loves reading papers all the time. I noticed it more after I moved out and went back at Christmas or to watch a game. 

He has to read every single word and folds the paper over and reads the entire page. The pinnacle was when he pulled out a paper in the bar at Firhill and I burst out laughing. He fucking loves reading papers.

Maybe he gets bored hearing about how lazy your workmates are. Sorry, couldn't resist.

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My mum talks far too much and my old man is an absolute Walter Mitty.

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10 hours ago, Aidan said:

My mum talks far too much and my old man is an absolute Walter Mitty.

Didn’t know you were [insert name of other poster here]’s son

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Maybe he gets bored hearing about how lazy your workmates are. Sorry, couldn't resist.
Probably but he also reads them alone on the bus. Free paper plus bus pass it's two of his favourite things. Value and newspapers.

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12 hours ago, D.A.F.C said:

My Dad is brilliant but he loves reading papers all the time. I noticed it more after I moved out and went back at Christmas or to watch a game. 

He has to read every single word and folds the paper over and reads the entire page. The pinnacle was when he pulled out a paper in the bar at Firhill and I burst out laughing. He fucking loves reading papers.

This will be me when I'm in middle age/old. I bet his trivia knowledge is off the scale.

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Fucking hell this is one of these threads you read and realise how lucky you are not to have relatives who are too bad.

Wish I could say the same for the ITYPD thread.

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Fucking hell this is one of these threads you read and realise how lucky you are not to have relatives who are too bad.

Wish I could say the same for the ITYPD thread.

Same thread mate.

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My Dad's also an unbelievable driver.

First thing that grinds my gears is his speed. 50 in a 70. 40 in a 60. Barely faster than a brisk walk in a 20. He'll always maintain it's a much less stressful way to travel and he never has to worry about overtaking anyone, blissfully unaware of the mile of traffic behind him or the dangerous manoeuvres people pull out of frustration to get past him. He clings to the jesus handles when I give him a lift anywhere because I drive at the speed limit.

Second is he has no clue how to use full beam headlights. He'll drive along with fulls on then spot a car coming the other way. You or I will go 'ah right time to dip them so I don't dazzle them'. My Dad? Drives on until the oncoming car is maybe 100 yards away and then dips them.

Last one, and I think this speaks to the misery addiction/risk aversion of that generation of Scots, he complained forever that his new car made an annoying beeping sound as he reversed. OK I thought, I'll do him a favour, dug about in the back, found the speaker, disconnected it. Next time I was over - 'oh son what did you do to the car? It doesn't beep anymore.' Told him what I'd done. 'No I don't think you should have done that, can you reconnect it?' But you don't like it. 'Even so, I think it should be on'. :blink:

Edited by MixuFixit
mucked up a sentence

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6 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

jesus handles

Hadn't heard this phrase before. From Urban Dictionary: "The handle above the windows in most cars, so called for the propensity of people to shout "Oh Jesus!" while clutching it in mortal terror at the driver's skill level or sanity."  :lol:

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5 hours ago, BigFatTabbyDave said:

Hadn't heard this phrase before. From Urban Dictionary: "The handle above the windows in most cars, so called for the propensity of people to shout "Oh Jesus!" while clutching it in mortal terror at the driver's skill level or sanity."  :lol:

I'm quite relieved to hear that tbh. I had thought it was something to do with the flabby bits some of us other people have around the middle, and what their partners shout while hanging onto them during sex.

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On 14/12/2018 at 22:08, BigFatTabbyDave said:

My mother hums and sings nonsense to herself, in true "dooby-dooby-doo GLOVES!" fashion. If there's any music on, she'll increase her volume to compensate.

My father absorbs The Daily Mail in the same way that Rabbis study the Talmud, and attempts to teach his 'findings' in the same manner.

Most damningly, they're both partially responsible for me  :shutup

My mother used to do this - thing is, it was always the same bloody tune - one which I'd never heard anywhere else (and still haven't), and which she claimed she didn't know the name of. If only I'd had Shazam or soundhound!

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Mums brand new, except for having made us go to church every sunday until we were old enough to refuse and explain to her that believing in god is completely absurd.  Bizarrely, she used to wake us up every morning by screeching at the top of her voice "go to school on an egg"

My old man thinks its acceptable to tell people to their face that they are fat or need to lose weight, this in spite of the fact that he himself is a fat c**t and has been diagnosed with diabetes.  He is also never off facebook nosing about other folks business and commenting on it.

 

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