Miguel Sanchez Posted December 14, 2018 Share Posted December 14, 2018 8 hours ago, Stellaboz said: Pretty sure Baracus got his boss a dildo in the secret Santa once. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dee_62 Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 Well played Russia. https://themoscowtimes.com/news/santa-claus-dies-in-russian-kindergarten-63876 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jacksgranda Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 2 hours ago, dee_62 said: Well played Russia. https://themoscowtimes.com/news/santa-claus-dies-in-russian-kindergarten-63876 Ded by name and dead by nature. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HTG Posted December 18, 2018 Share Posted December 18, 2018 On 13/12/2018 at 08:58, Gnash said: Have any P&Bers had steam literally coming from their ears? Haven't read through this yet so apologies if late to the party. Not had steam but definitely smoke. The venue was the Istanbul Barbers in Haymarket - not long after they opened. They were building trade so for the price of a trim you got extras. I was somewhat aghast at the sight of a cut thrust razor but that paled when I saw him setting light to some sort of taper. The flame was then flicked towards my ears before being extinguished by a deft slap. The key to not being burnt was the timing of the slap. So aye, smoke rather than steam and a smell of burning for the next few hours. Sorry for deflecting from shite Santa experiences. "Where's me fuckin bike?" 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 19, 2018 Share Posted December 19, 2018 On 12/14/2018 at 11:47, Herman Hessian said: i always enjoy hearing about houses that burn down due to festive fires started by faulty christmas lights pre-christmas day ones are the best when "hundreds of pounds' worth of presents were destroyed in the blaze" https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1060250/family-home-destroyed-fire-faulty-christmas-lights 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Minertaur Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 18 hours ago, Herman Hessian said: https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1060250/family-home-destroyed-fire-faulty-christmas-lights The bit about the photo surviving reminds me of this - 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 no details of incinerated gifts (maybe a week or so too early) or divine intervention with this one, but a pleasing new trend for the inclusion of dogs in the story: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-46459174 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 That's two dugs that have survived house fires. Grimbo will be ragin' 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 another one - there's something going on here - no festive crispy pets ??? no mention of christmas lights here - or fire-retardent religious texts - but bonus points for birthday AND christmas presents going up, and for not having contents insurance: also - another couple who fucked off out on the piss, leaving their house to burn down... https://www.eadt.co.uk/news/woman-haunted-after-melton-house-fire-destroys-christmas-presents-1-5811109 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AsimButtHitsASix Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 "Memory boxes". What a load of shite. Glad they burnt up 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shandon Par Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 As a kid we always had a little robin on the tree. It was pretty realistic. Having our Christmas dinner the cat appears and spat out the robin next to the table. Only it turned out to be a real robin. The cat really got into the festive spirit there. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 ahhh - this may be even better than house fires ! where to even start: pregnant women - young children - disabled people (on chairs !) - small babies - travel carnage - oh the humanity ! passengers claiming to be terrorists in an attempt to get off a plane break the news to the kids - great time to put the whole santa charade to the sword IMO police drones - i'd fucking pay good money to watch battling drones overhead at an international airport - ideally armed with lasers or miniature guided missiles and shit; craig charles - you're ancient history - GTF ! pet travel agents - crates ! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tony Ferrino Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Herman Hessian said: ahhh - this may be even better than house fires ! where to even start: pregnant women - young children - disabled people (on chairs !) - small babies - travel carnage - oh the humanity ! passengers claiming to be terrorists in an attempt to get off a plane break the news to the kids - great time to put the whole santa charade to the sword IMO police drones - i'd fucking pay good money to watch battling drones overhead at an international airport - ideally armed with lasers or miniature guided missiles and shit; craig charles - you're ancient history - GTF ! pet travel agents - crates ! Toy Story 4 plot right there. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NJ2 Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 ahhh - this may be even better than house fires ! where to even start: pregnant women - young children - disabled people (on chairs !) - small babies - travel carnage - oh the humanity ! passengers claiming to be terrorists in an attempt to get off a plane break the news to the kids - great time to put the whole santa charade to the sword IMO police drones - i'd fucking pay good money to watch battling drones overhead at an international airport - ideally armed with lasers or miniature guided missiles and shit; craig charles - you're ancient history - GTF ! pet travel agents - crates !Lorna Johnston 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DA Baracus Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 Hope the person who said they were a terrorist gets chucked in the cells until the New Year. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 10 minutes ago, DA Baracus said: Hope the person who said they were a terrorist gets chucked in the cells until the New Year. could really do with the herberts who are controlling the drones getting four years or so inside as a genuine deterrent, too, rather than the inevitable two-hour community service order and a contract to present a tech show on youtube that they'll probably end up with... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A96 Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 (edited) On the face of it , a fine example of a photo that typically accompanies this sort of story. But I'm dubious that this jakey looking cvnt is actually a pilot. I reckon one of the hacks at the Press Association HQ has just borrowed a Security Guard's jumper for a quick photo before heading back to the Christmas party Edited December 20, 2018 by A96 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JTS98 Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 1 hour ago, Herman Hessian said: could really do with the herberts who are controlling the drones getting four years or so inside as a genuine deterrent, too, rather than the inevitable two-hour community service order and a contract to present a tech show on youtube that they'll probably end up with... I think they'd have it sorted by now if only the jobsworths coppers at the airport weren't so territorial. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
superbigal Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 On 13/12/2018 at 20:51, peasy23 said: I was too young to remember it as I wasn't quite 3 yet, but my Grandad died on Christmas Eve, I would guess that must have put a bit of a damper on Christmas. Flip side though is I suppose it would have been extra dinner for everybody else. Did he fit in the oven okay with all the Roasties and stuff ? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Herman Hessian Posted December 20, 2018 Share Posted December 20, 2018 4 minutes ago, JTS98 said: I think they'd have it sorted by now if only the jobsworths coppers at the airport weren't so territorial. genuinely surprised at the time it's taking to resolve all this; surely - if '24' and the like are to be believed, there's a high-tech government surveillance facility somewhere (I'm looking at you, GCHQ) which can easily detect and pinpoint the source of the radio signals controlling the drone(s) and direct a hit-squad to take the fuckers out or jam the wavelengths or something ? it's becoming apparent that our national defence against cyber-attacks and what have you is no better than a free version of norton anti-virus off a PC Gamer cover disc - where are all the cloaking devices, scanning utilities, detection protocols and the like ? failing that - cats are fucking ace at catching flying stuff - ours have brought down bats and dragonflies, all sorts... 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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