Things You Have To Adapt To When You're Old.

[Jacksgranda]

1 hour ago, D.A.F.C said:

1. We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

 

We've neighbours like that. Granted the husband and wife are even older than we are, but their adult children are only in their 40s and they're worse than their parents. I've found the best ploy is to say "Hello" and keep moving. You daren't say "It's a nice day" or you'll be embroiled in a 3 hour debate about the weather.

[Boghead ranter]

On 11/28/2018 at 08:26, Boghead ranter said:

Having to find somewhere to sit down to put on socks or shoes.

Making an 'oooft' noise when either sitting down or getting back up again.

Very rarely getting right through the night without having to get up for a pish.

Hair growth on your head getting less and less, but growing like it's going out of fashion in your ears and nostrils.

Commercial music radio stations becoming unlistenable (don't need to be that old to think that, tbh).

Got a #6 - yesterday I switched off the light in the cooker hood, then spent a good 10-15 seconds wondering why the radio on the other side of the kitchen (which was what I actually wanted to switch off) was still playing .

[oldbitterandgrumpy]

9 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Got a #6 - yesterday I switched off the light in the cooker hood, then spent a good 10-15 seconds wondering why the radio on the other side of the kitchen (which was what I actually wanted to switch off) was still playing .

It's the 'going into the room and forgetting why you went in' thing. I used to take the piss out of people like that.   Life is brutal.

[Honest_Man#1]

On 28/11/2018 at 20:27, Shotgun said:

5. Being irritated that the music's too loud in the pub and you can't have a decent conversation (Hi Dad. Sorry for giving you so much crap about this.)

I agree with this 100% and I’m 24. It’s the reason I’ve completely given up on nightclubs now unless every pub has closed and you want to keep the night going. The reason I want to go out and get pished with mates is to actually speak to them, not stand about unable to hear anything other than shite charts dance music.

[philpy]

1: Nose and ear hair
2: Reactions getting slower. My daughter hit me so hard the other day I had to go to the dentist. She normally expects me to duck when showing me her boxing skills.
3: People starting sentences with "So". 
4: Can't make it through the night without waking up in pain (sore ankle at the moment - fell over in hospital car park) and/or needing a piss
5: Reality tv. 

Everything on there except number 2 is definitely me.

[Raidernation]

1. Gout
2. Making “old mannie noises” when you get up/sit down/move
3. Insomnia
4. Hating “modern music”
5. Going to more funerals than weddings

[SlipperyP]

Just watched Toy Story for the first time with the kids (first time for them), It was all in Thai as expected, I was like, turn it up, I missed that bit, after about 4 turn ups, daughter(17) just said wtf, are you deaf.

No, I'm just trying to lip read......Kids have no sense of humor. 

[Jacksgranda]

On 13/12/2018 at 16:00, Boghead ranter said:

Got a #6 - yesterday I switched off the light in the cooker hood, then spent a good 10-15 seconds wondering why the radio on the other side of the kitchen (which was what I actually wanted to switch off) was still playing .

Our cooker has the controls set out very badly, imho. The controls are all on the rhs of the cooker in a vertical line. However, the bottom control is not for the bottom rh ring, which is what it should be, again imo only, it's for the top rh ring. I have lost count of the number of times I've gone out to check on the spuds boiling only to discover that, yet again, I have switched on the wrong ring.

On 05/01/2019 at 05:45, Raidernation said:

1. Gout
2. Making “old mannie noises” when you get up/sit down/move
3. Insomnia
4. Hating “modern music”
5. Going to more funerals than weddings

Very much this.

4 of the neighbours alone in the last 12 months.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1. Cant

2. Be

3. Arsed

4. With

5. Technology

[Gaz FFC]

Anybody else get overjoyed when asked if they want a cuppa?

Seems my life is so sad I now love getting asked at work of I want a coffee.

Pure orgasm if they break out good biscuits

[Hampden Diehard]

Hearing of people you know pegging out or having strokes and heart attacks...... and wondering what's on its way for you.

[Al B]

One little joy about being over 40, is that you can read topics like this and have a wee chuckle to yourself knowing that there's a fright on the way for those under 40, who think they are talking about the same thing as the over 40's.

You think you are at the moment, but once you get here you'll look back and realise, you weren't. There's a marked difference between your body needing a piss 3 or 4 times during the night, and your body doing a piss 3 or 4 times during the night. They aren't the same annoyance. You're annoyed that you can't sleep right through the night, we're annoyed that that we have to work out an equation involving how fast we can run when half asleep, and how far away the toilet is.

[Granny Danger]

My advice to young people is don’t get old.  

[Credo67]

I’m actually encouraged that I’m not alone in feeling that four hours unbroken sleep is now something I regard as an achievement.

1. Travel - cant be arsed sitting on a plane for hours on end these days
5. Being near people in any way shape or form. 

1. Hurting myself or getting ill takes about 32 years to recover now. I miss the days of falling out a tree and landing on gravel and forgetting it ever happened 10 minutes later

Having to find somewhere to sit down to put on socks or shoes.

That is 5 but I could have picked more, on a positive note though... sorry what was the question ?

[Melanius Mullarkey]

On 15/06/2019 at 20:19, Granny Danger said:

My advice to young people is don’t get old.  

Or suspended from an Internet forum.