Things You Have To Adapt To When You're Old.

[oldbitterandgrumpy]

 Wondered . . . . . things you have to  adapt to when you get to a certain age, because, like it or not, times are changing.

1   Social Media. Rewind 30 years and it's science fiction that you can talk to anyone on a screen, sending pictures or videos, via a keyboard, to anywhere in the world. In real time! Bring it on. Sounds wonderful. It isn't of course, because if everybody has access to this wonder,  then by default utter morons have access to it as well. 

2  Driving.  When you get your first car, the world is yours. You take lessons, you pass your test, you fly solo for the first time . . . . . does it get any better?  Well, it does. But eventually it doesn't. Because there's so many people clogging up the roads, usually when I want to get somewhere.  Where are they all going?   Using up  my time?

3 Patience.  I have sat through a lecture from my 9 year old granddaughter about how secondary school is 'so unnecessary' because she can make a very profitable living right now making You Tube videos  (if only she wasn't constrained by the lack of a sim card with credit ).

4  Alcohol. You're old enough to know better but it just feels so good. It's not good for you,  you're aware of that, you've seen the down side,  but it just feels good.   Whatever. 

5 Bad English. I'm having to accept that 'lose' is spelled 'loose'. Not the way I learned to spell it, but, hey ho, it's a dynamic language I suppose. 

Edited November 28, 2018 by oldbitterandgrumpy

[Boghead ranter]

Having to find somewhere to sit down to put on socks or shoes.

Making an 'oooft' noise when either sitting down or getting back up again.

Very rarely getting right through the night without having to get up for a pish.

Hair growth on your head getting less and less, but growing like it's going out of fashion in your ears and nostrils.

Commercial music radio stations becoming unlistenable (don't need to be that old to think that, tbh).

[Jacksgranda]

4 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

Having to find somewhere to sit down to put on socks or shoes.

Making an 'oooft' noise when either sitting down or getting back up again.

Very rarely getting right through the night without having to get up for a pish.

Hair growth on your head getting less and less, but growing like it's going out of fashion in your ears and nostrils.

Commercial music radio stations becoming unlistenable (don't need to be that old to think that, tbh).

So far not so bad at getting through the night without the need to get up for the toilet.

The other 4 are spot on.

[Boghead ranter]

1 minute ago, Jacksgranda said:

So far not so bad at getting through the night without the need to get up for the toilet.

Me too, tbh.  It's just the nights that I decide that having a beer/cider an hour before going to bed is a good idea that f*ck me up.

[Jacksgranda]

Just now, Boghead ranter said:

Me too, tbh.  It's just the nights that I decide that having a beer/cider an hour before going to bed is a good idea that f*ck me up.

I try not to drink anything after about 6 or 7 at night, but even if I do have a cup of tea later than that I'd don't usually have to get up.

[Northboy]

Young people - their optimism is annoying and as they will find out completely unfounded.

[Melanius Mullarkey]

1. Travel - cant be arsed sitting on a plane for hours on end these days (yesterday didnt help)

2.  Going from reading something to looking up at the telly and it taking about 2 hours for my eyes to focus.

3. Any form of DIY/decorating.  Used to be right up for it now I think, f**k it, really cannot be done with that shite.

4. Any of the medical stuff above.

5. Being near people in any way shape or form. 

[Shandon Par]

10 hours ago, oldbitterandgrumpy said:

 

5 Bad English. I'm having to accept that 'lose' is spelled 'loose'. Not the way I learned to spell it, but, hey ho, it's a dynamic language I suppose. 

U just hav too get used too it.

[Shandon Par]

1: Nose and ear hair

2: Reactions getting slower. My daughter hit me so hard the other day I had to go to the dentist. She normally expects me to duck when showing me her boxing skills.

3: People starting sentences with "So". 

4: Can't make it through the night without waking up in pain (sore ankle at the moment - fell over in hospital car park) and/or needing a piss

5: Reality tv. 

[Dons_1988]

Apologies if being 30 doesn't count but I often get told by my peers (and wife) that I am 30 going on 70.  I am probably going to re-iterate some of the above to be honest:

1. Social media/selfies/photos of people's food - Can't get on board with it.  I had facebook when I was at uni but barely used it and now can't be arsed with any of it.  Selfies because..just why?  I can't imagine anything worse than a photo album full of images of me.  Also when did people start caring what each other had for dinner?  I have a whatsapp group of friends that must be 50% photos of their fucking lunch or dinner. And don't get me started on any article that begins 'xxx caused a twitter storm when...'

2. Being cynical about just about everything - I get irritated by all adverts etc that use cuddly animals/good looking people/something totally random to advertise products that have nothing to do with any of those things.  And anyone who gets taken in by those adverts is a c**t.

3.  Getting up in the night constantly for a piss, as mentioned above

4.  My mates from school who haven't become as grumpy as me who still think jagerbombs are a good idea at lunchtime before the football, and just buy them without asking

5. Working my arse off Sunday through Friday to be healthy (diet, exercise, everything) yet still being a rotund p***k.

 

[oldbitterandgrumpy]

1 hour ago, Dons_1988 said:

2. Being cynical about just about everything - I get irritated by all adverts etc that use cuddly animals/good looking people/something totally random to advertise products that have nothing to do with any of those things.  And anyone who gets taken in by those adverts is a c**t.

Yeah, agree with the cynicism. A definite sign of ageing.   And disapproval as well. 

Not disapproving about  anything in particular, just generally disapproving about, well, anything really. 

I think you need to take stock though, you're half my age but twice as grumpy. Makes me feel quite the party animal, which I most definitely am not. 

[Jacksgranda]

5 hours ago, Dons_1988 said:

Apologies if being 30 doesn't count but I often get told by my peers (and wife) that I am 30 going on 70.  I am probably going to re-iterate some of the above to be honest:

1. Social media/selfies/photos of people's food - Can't get on board with it.  I had facebook when I was at uni but barely used it and now can't be arsed with any of it.  Selfies because..just why?  I can't imagine anything worse than a photo album full of images of me.  Also when did people start caring what each other had for dinner?  I have a whatsapp group of friends that must be 50% photos of their fucking lunch or dinner. And don't get me started on any article that begins 'xxx caused a twitter storm when...'

2. Being cynical about just about everything - I get irritated by all adverts etc that use cuddly animals/good looking people/something totally random to advertise products that have nothing to do with any of those things.  And anyone who gets taken in by those adverts is a c**t.

3.  Getting up in the night constantly for a piss, as mentioned above

4.  My mates from school who haven't become as grumpy as me who still think jagerbombs are a good idea at lunchtime before the football, and just buy them without asking

5. Working my arse off Sunday through Friday to be healthy (diet, exercise, everything) yet still being a rotund p***k.

 

If you're only 30 you might be better getting that checked out, actually. Unless you drink a horrendous quantity (of anything) between 7 and bedtime.

[Jacksgranda]

8 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

1. Hurting myself or getting ill takes about 32 years to recover now. I miss the days of falling out a tree and landing on gravel and forgetting it ever happened 10 minutes later.

2. Every shit is a double flusher.

3. Music. I swore blind I'd always be with it and never be like all those old fuddy duddies but I have no idea who Dua Lipa is and I just want a sit down.

4. I'm increasingly drawn to the appeal of prunes, cabbage, tongue meat.

5. Resisting it so far, but any time I see a deal for some outdoor clothing I think 'gosh that's good I'll get one for the wife while I'm at it'. I'll never be one of those people.

Pureed, I hope.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

8 hours ago, MixuFixit said:

1. Hurting myself or getting ill takes about 32 years to recover now. I miss the days of falling out a tree and landing on gravel and forgetting it ever happened 10 minutes later.

2. Every shit is a double flusher.

3. Music. I swore blind I'd always be with it and never be like all those old fuddy duddies but I have no idea who Dua Lipa is and I just want a sit down.

4. I'm increasingly drawn to the appeal of prunes, cabbage, tongue meat.

5. Resisting it so far, but any time I see a deal for some outdoor clothing I think 'gosh that's good I'll get one for the wife while I'm at it'. I'll never be one of those people.

I could never eat anything that's been in an animals mouth, give me eggs any day.

[Zen Archer (Raconteur)]

10 hours ago, Boghead ranter said:

Having to find somewhere to sit down to put on socks or shoes.

Making an 'oooft' noise when either sitting down or getting back up again.

Very rarely getting right through the night without having to get up for a pish.

Hair growth on your head getting less and less, but growing like it's going out of fashion in your ears and nostrils.

Commercial music radio stations becoming unlistenable (don't need to be that old to think that, tbh).

It used to be a badge of honour to be 'twice nightly'

Now not so much.

[tarapoa]

I’m actually encouraged that I’m not alone in feeling that four hours unbroken sleep is now something I regard as an achievement.

[D.A.F.C]

1. We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah: the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

 

[Shotgun]

1. Having a late night and taking the best part of a week to recover.

2. Hurting myself doing every day tasks. Opening packages to cite just one very recent example.

3. Having the phone ring at 8:45pm and thinking "What inconsiderate b*****d's calling at this hour of the night?"

4. Opening the bonnet of my car and not having the faintest idea what I'm looking at.

5. Being irritated that the music's too loud in the pub and you can't have a decent conversation (Hi Dad. Sorry for giving you so much crap about this.)

6. Choosing jeans that are comfortable and will wear well rather than because they make my bum look good.

7. Seeing attractive young women dressed in skimpy outfits and wondering what their parents are thinking letting them go out like that.

8. Remembering that 1998 was 20 years ago and not 7 or 8.

9. Having to decline certain foods unless I have floss with me. Beef jerky, I'm looking in your direction.

10. Getting invited to a wedding and seeing that the seating plan has me far, far away from the rowdy table.

[Shotgun]

8 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

1. Having a late night and taking the best part of a week to recover.

2. Hurting myself doing every day tasks. Opening packages to cite just one very recent example.

3. Having the phone ring at 8:45pm and thinking "What inconsiderate b*****d's calling at this hour of the night?"

4. Opening the bonnet of my car and not having the faintest idea what I'm looking at.

5. Being irritated that the music's too loud in the pub and you can't have a decent conversation (Hi Dad. Sorry for giving you so much crap about this.)

6. Choosing jeans that are comfortable and will wear well rather than because they make my bum look good.

7. Seeing attractive young women dressed in skimpy outfits and wondering what their parents are thinking letting them go out like that.

8. Remembering that 1998 was 20 years ago and not 7 or 8.

9. Having to decline certain foods unless I have floss with me. Beef jerky, I'm looking in your direction.

10. Getting invited to a wedding and seeing that the seating plan has me far, far away from the rowdy table.

Being too senile to realise that the "Top Fives" sub-forum has a specific theme.

[Jacksgranda]

12 minutes ago, Shotgun said:

1. Having a late night and taking the best part of a week to recover.

2. Hurting myself doing every day tasks. Opening packages to cite just one very recent example.

3. Having the phone ring at 8:45pm and thinking "What inconsiderate b*****d's calling at this hour of the night?"

4. Opening the bonnet of my car and not having the faintest idea what I'm looking at.

5. Being irritated that the music's too loud in the pub and you can't have a decent conversation (Hi Dad. Sorry for giving you so much crap about this.)

6. Choosing jeans that are comfortable and will wear well rather than because they make my bum look good.

7. Seeing attractive young women dressed in skimpy outfits and wondering what their parents are thinking letting them go out like that.

8. Remembering that 1998 was 20 years ago and not 7 or 8.

9. Having to decline certain foods unless I have floss with me. Beef jerky, I'm looking in your direction.

10. Getting invited to a wedding and seeing that the seating plan has me far, far away from the rowdy table.

I ended up in A&E after taking the top off one of my fingers peeling the spuds.