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Donkeys XI


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15 hours ago, djchapsticks said:

 

RB - Luke Conlon. Signed on loan from Burnley in 2015 and didn't appear to have ever player right back. Amazingly still playing league football at Morecambe. 

 

LM - Kevin Twaddle. Signed to much fanfare and guarantees that we were going to get the best of him now his injury woes were over. Got injured right away. Finally made it back to the team and got hit in the face (not particularly hard either) with the ball at Inverness and got subbed. Apparently when the team went back in at half time, he was lying with his face pressed on the cold slate of the dressing room floor panicking that he was having a brain haemorrhage. I dunno if this story is true but I hope it is. 

CM - Andy Dow. There were plenty of players I remember coming through who just weren't good enough but Dow was the very first guy I remember in a St Mirren shirt that I could honestly say was a wage theif. Was it the Motherwell administration and screwing over of his contract that killed his love for it? I dunno. He was without doubt a man down though. Horror show of a player. 

 

Conlon as you say is currently playing for Morecambe, who are skint and can't afford to sign anyone else so perhaps he's lucky that way! 

Kevin Twaddle was signed by St Johnstone from Dunbar United. I can remember going to a Dunbar game and hearing this conversation:
 1st auld guy: "I see that Kevin Twaddle is at Motherwell now.."
2nd auld guy "Aye, funny that, I always thought he was shite when he played for Dunbar..."

 Hibs fans came up with a song for Dow when he played for Hibs:
"Andy Dow, Andy Dow,
He's Andy, Andy Dow,
He gets the ball and does f*ck all,
Andy, Andy Dow.." 

Once on the books of Chelsea. Pre-Abramovich Chelsea it goes without saying. 

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01 Langfield

02 McArdle

05 Diamond

42 Robertson

04 Folly

08 Hartley (sent off)

11 Aluko (Young 35)

22 Jack

07 Maguire

09 Vernon (Magennis 58)

10 Mackie

 

Manager - Mark McGhee

That's the donkey's XI right there as they were on that fucking day. Not as individuals but as a collective. 

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39 minutes ago, tamthebam said:

 

 Hibs fans came up with a song for Dow when he played for Hibs:
"Andy Dow, Andy Dow,
He's Andy, Andy Dow,
He gets the ball and does f*ck all,
Andy, Andy Dow.." 

Once on the books of Chelsea. Pre-Abramovich Chelsea it goes without saying. 

Not just on the books, he played several Premiership games for Chelsea including the two 1-0 wins they had over Man Utd back in 93/94.

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On 14/11/2018 at 10:36, Joe Terrapin said:

But he was great at pointing

I remember one of my old mates had a go at him being dreadful on Twitter and tagged me in it and Chisholm proceeded to go on a 5-6 tweet rant at me (who hadn't even commented) at how at least he'd 'made it as a footballer' and how I'd never played for Dundee. My only comment back was that he'd never 'played' for Dundee either and then I was blocked. 

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56 minutes ago, RussellAnderson said:

01 Langfield

02 McArdle

05 Diamond

42 Robertson

04 Folly

08 Hartley (sent off)

11 Aluko (Young 35)

22 Jack

07 Maguire

09 Vernon (Magennis 58)

10 Mackie

 

Manager - Mark McGhee

That's the donkey's XI right there as they were on that fucking day. Not as individuals but as a collective. 

You had Derek Soutar. Jamie Langfield was shite, but he was steady shite. Certainly not on a Bossu, Soutar or pretty much any keeper that competed with Langfield till about 2015.

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8 hours ago, tamthebam said:

Conlon as you say is currently playing for Morecambe, who are skint and can't afford to sign anyone else so perhaps he's lucky that way! 

Kevin Twaddle was signed by St Johnstone from Dunbar United. I can remember going to a Dunbar game and hearing this conversation:
 1st auld guy: "I see that Kevin Twaddle is at Motherwell now.."
2nd auld guy "Aye, funny that, I always thought he was shite when he played for Dunbar..."

 Hibs fans came up with a song for Dow when he played for Hibs:
"Andy Dow, Andy Dow,
He's Andy, Andy Dow,
He gets the ball and does f*ck all,
Andy, Andy Dow.." 

Once on the books of Chelsea. Pre-Abramovich Chelsea it goes without saying. 

Andy Dow was (arguably) our best player one season. I think we might have finished 10th. Probably says more about our squad.

I was looking to see if he got player of the year. couldn't see it. However, our POTY from 08 to 10 were:

 

Diamond

 

Langfield

 

Foster.

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2 minutes ago, Raidernation said:

Hell, if I could go back to the Porterfield era.......

Ian was inducted last Monday to the Raith Rovers Hall of Fame.

Not a minute too soon.

His daughter was over the moon with the award when she received it.

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On 15/11/2018 at 22:46, RussellAnderson said:

01 Langfield

02 McArdle

05 Diamond

42 Robertson

04 Folly

08 Hartley (sent off)

11 Aluko (Young 35)

22 Jack

07 Maguire

09 Vernon (Magennis 58)

10 Mackie

 

Manager - Mark McGhee

That's the donkey's XI right there as they were on that fucking day. Not as individuals but as a collective. 

I haven't checked, but I'm assuming that was the QotS Semi debacle?

Edit:

Or the 9-0 at Celtic Park? I seem to recall Considine was sent off in that one though? That's maybe because he was sent off against Celtic so many times..

Edit again:

It must be the 9-0, because McNamara played against QotS.

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It's the 9-0 game at Celtic Park, Hartley got sent off for punching a goal bound shot away after Langfield charged out his box and made an arse of it, we also had a player sent off I recall, cant quite remember who but both teams played most of that match with ten men.

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5 hours ago, Flybhoy said:

It's the 9-0 game at Celtic Park, Hartley got sent off for punching a goal bound shot away after Langfield charged out his box and made an arse of it, we also had a player sent off I recall, cant quite remember who but both teams played most of that match with ten men.

Think it was the young norwegian defender who went to Wigan, forgot his name.

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On 11/13/2018 at 13:08, senorsoupe said:

Anyways here is my Terrible XI for Celtic since 2000

Dorius De Vries

Efrain Juarez

Olivier Tebily

Edson Brafhied

Tyler Blackett

Alex Tonev

Willo Flood

Zheng Zhi

Derk Boerrigter

Amindo Balde

Carlton Cole

Did they at least sell kits in China with Zhi?

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25 minutes ago, senorsoupe said:

A few, but not enough to compensate for a lack of footballing quality

He scored an absolute worldy at Tynecastle in the last game of the season that year, was pretty anonymous the rest of it though. 

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10 hours ago, Flybhoy said:

It's the 9-0 game at Celtic Park, Hartley got sent off for punching a goal bound shot away after Langfield charged out his box and made an arse of it, we also had a player sent off I recall, cant quite remember who but both teams played most of that match with ten men.

It was only 3-0 when Rogne got sent off. We conceded six goals against 10 men.

I just had a look at the highlights of that game. Jesus Christ. The standout moments were Josh Magennis scoring a fantastic, diving header own goal under literally no pressure, and Chris Maguire passing the ball straight to Anthony Stokes (who was standing right next to him, in his line of vision) to put Stokes clean through for the eighth. Maguire's error was so bad it genuinely looked like deliberate sabotage on his part.

Anyway, as an Aberdeen fan since 2008:

(GK) Scott Brown - Possibly slightly harsh, as Langfield, Stuart Nelson, Mark Howard, Jason Brown and David Gonzalez were all varying degrees of crap, but I can't forgive Brown for sh*tting himself at Parkhead in 14/15 and putting and end to our unlikely title challenge.

(RB)  Davide Grassi - Not a right-back, but then showed no indication of actually being a footballer. Just dreadful. 

(CB) Jerel Ifil - The worst technique of any professional footballer I have ever seen. Genuinely baffling that someone could play football every day for a decade and be utterly incapable of passing the ball more than 5 yards. Mark McGhee famously announced his signing by saying, "Look, for the money we're paying, we're not getting John Terry." 

(CB) Nikola Vujadinovic - "He's come from Udinese so he must be decent." Wrong. My main memory of him was Craig Brown bringing him on in a Scottish Cup tie against St Mirren. There were 4 minutes left, and he was meant to shore up the defence and help see the game out. He jogged on and, within 30 seconds, scored a stupendous diving header own goal with his first touch.

(LB) Clark Robertson - Weak, slow, and ponderous on the ball. Absolutey staggered to see that he's now playing in the English Championship.

(CM) Chris Clark (2nd spell) - Utility man who could play equally badly across the midfield, or at full-back. Severely hampered by his inability to pass, tackle or shoot (although he could run around a bit). Did play well during a 1-1 draw at Ibrox, which I remember clearly because I was so stunned at the time that he was making a positive contribution.

(CM) Gary MacDonald - The Ghost. Could always be found whereever the ball wasn't. A remarkable talent for a central midfielder.

(CM) Paul Marshall - Came on loan from Man City, with a fabulous youtube showreel of long-range free-kicks and spectacular assists for their development team. Unfortunately, he was unable to replicate any of this when playing competetively against grown men. IIRC, a relative of his joined the Aberdeen Mad forum to protest about all the stick he was getting. 

(FWD) Nick Blackman - The odd one out on this list in that he was clearly talented. Unfortunately, he spent his entire time at Pittodrie visibly sulking after Craig Brown stole him away from Fir Park. Scored 10 in 18 for Motherwell before Christmas, and then 2 in 18 after joining us.

(FWD) Tommy Wright - Talentless thug, who got more yellow cards than goals. His time with us can be summed up by this description of his debut: Wright caused a stir in his first appearance in an Aberdeen shirt, receiving a yellow card for a reckless challenge, and allegedly attempting to headbutt Motherwell defender Stephen Craigan.

(FWD) Calvin Zola - An excellent counter-argument to the 'pub-league' and 'my nan could score up there' patter. A proven goalscorer in League 2 for Crewe and Burton, he was one of Derek McInnes first signings and then proceeded to play with all the mobility, finesse and poise of a lamp-post. With Hayes, McGinn and an in-form Peter Pawlett providing the ammunition, he managed a princely 3 goals in 19 league games. 

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