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Calling Cards of Morons

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Slightly off topic but continuing the 'local pub pool wankers' theme.
Our Celtic bus went into a boozer in Dundee after our game at Dens Park last boxing day, might have been the Lochee Sports Bar or something it was called if memory serves me correctly, there were about thirty odd of us and many scoops were sunk, a good day was had, about six or seven o'clock one of the guys suggests a game of 'Killer' on the pool table, for those not familiar you all take a shot in order and, depending on your rules you get one or two lives, if you dont pot a ball you lose a life, two lives and your out, everyone puts an entry fee of a fiver in the hat and the winner is the last man standing who gets the cash.
Local guy at the bar asks to put his name down, ended up about twenty or so in total, he pulls out his own cue from behind the bar, looked a serious bit of equipment, clearly cost a few bob, we're all quite pissed and not taking it too seriously, he is obviously a member/captain of the local pool team as he's walking round the table each shot, chalking his cue, taking his time etc but, he is letting us all use his 'professional' looking cue.
I went out quite early due to a combination of being shite at pool and quite drunk, gets down to the last four and local guy is slowly lining up a shot when, just as he's about to strike the cue ball someone farts rather loudly, he misses his shot, the ball rumbles in the jaws of the pocket, as it's his last life he's out.....cue a meltdown, he demands to be reinstated claiming to have been put off by the phantom farter, once everyone stops laughing he is told to 'get tae' at which point he promptly takes his cue back and stomps off in a serious huff, the ensuing cries of 'you're shite and you know you are' result in him storming our the pub, steam coming out his ears with nearly a full pint sitting at the bar while our game continued with the pubs own shitey cue.

You tell so many lies.
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