Calling Cards of Morons

[Boo Khaki]

I'm predominantly right-handed but eat with my fork in the right hand. It's far more comfortable for me. The act of lifting things from the plate and moving them to your gub is a far more dextrous task than simply cutting them up, so I don't give a f**k what Rees-Mogg types say is the 'correct' way, it's easier to use the fork in my right hand and cut with my left.

I write with my right hand, brush my teeth right-handed, and will use my right hand for most dextrous tasks, hammering, sawing and so on, but there are a few things I do interchangeably or automatically do left-handed because it feels more natural. I pick up a cricket bat right-handed, skateboard 'goofy', box southpaw, use a brush or broom left-handed, play right-handed guitars, and I often find myself doing simple tasks like stirring a pot or pouring from a milk carton left-handed without even thinking about it.

I read years ago that the bulk of people are 80/20 inclined towards their 'strong' side, with true ambidexterity being anyone who displays a 60/40 split. I think I'm one of the mutants who does things 70/30.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Boo Khaki

[Gordon EF]

Yep. I'm right-handed and hold the fork in my right hand. I prefer my dominant hand doing the tasks that need more dexterity. If my food had the consistency of a log of wood, I might reconsider.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Gordon EF

[G51]

People saying "Don't you want to use your dominant hand for the sawing motion" have failed to consider one thing: knife choice. 

If your food requires a significant motion to cut it, either through force or through the velocity of the forward strokes, then you have selected the wrong knife for your meal. This is much more likely to out you as an oaf than holding the knife and fork the wrong way round. 

[Miguel Sanchez]

1 hour ago, 19QOS19 said:

1 hour ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

^^^

Would you use your dominant hand for the fork there if there isn't a knife?...

I wouldn't need a knife because in this case any big bits of food have presumably been cut up beforehand by a kindly woman - mother, wife, nurse administering palliative care

[19QOS19]

I wouldn't need a knife because in this case any big bits of food have presumably been cut up beforehand by a kindly woman - mother, wife, nurse administering palliative care

And to eat the cut up pieces your nurse has left you, would you use your dominant hand for the fork?

[Miguel Sanchez]

6 minutes ago, 19QOS19 said:

36 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

I wouldn't need a knife because in this case any big bits of food have presumably been cut up beforehand by a kindly woman - mother, wife, nurse administering palliative care

And to eat the cut up pieces your nurse has left you, would you use your dominant hand for the fork?

Yes, since it was the only bit of cutlery I was using.

[19QOS19]

Yes, since it was the only bit of cutlery I was using.

So it's not unusual to put the food in your mouth using your dominant hand then.

[Miguel Sanchez]

1 minute ago, 19QOS19 said:

4 minutes ago, Miguel Sanchez said:

Yes, since it was the only bit of cutlery I was using.

So it's not unusual to put the food in your mouth using your dominant hand then.

Now I know how oaksoft felt when you wouldn't tell him how much train drivers get paid.

[Boghead ranter]

1 hour ago, G51 said:

. 

If your food requires a significant motion to cut it, either through force or through the velocity of the forward strokes, then you have selected the wrong knife for your meal. This is much more likely to out you as an oaf than holding the knife and fork the wrong way round. 

Or the wrong meal for your knife.

[G51]

3 minutes ago, Boghead ranter said:

Or the wrong meal for your knife.

""Necessity is the mother of invention"

If your knife does not fit the meal, then create/find a better knife. 

[19QOS19]

Now I know how oaksoft felt when you wouldn't tell him how much train drivers get paid.

I don't think oaksoft ever asked how much drivers were paid tbh.

[Mark Connolly]

Great to see the return of the BEASTwatch thread, though people outing themselves is a new twist

[tamthebam]

6 hours ago, Boo Khaki said:

I'm predominantly right-handed but eat with my fork in the right hand. It's far more comfortable for me. The act of lifting things from the plate and moving them to your gub is a far more dextrous task than simply cutting them up, so I don't give a f**k what Rees-Mogg types say is the 'correct' way, it's easier to use the fork in my right hand and cut with my left.

I write with my right hand, brush my teeth right-handed, and will use my right hand for most dextrous tasks, hammering, sawing and so on, but there are a few things I do interchangeably or automatically do left-handed because it feels more natural. I pick up a cricket bat right-handed, skateboard 'goofy', box southpaw, use a brush or broom left-handed, play right-handed guitars, and I often find myself doing simple tasks like stirring a pot or pouring from a milk carton left-handed without even thinking about it.

I read years ago that the bulk of people are 80/20 inclined towards their 'strong' side, with true ambidexterity being anyone who displays a 60/40 split. I think I'm one of the mutants who does things 70/30.

Which hand do you wipe your arse with?

Spoiler

Because I use toilet paper to wipe my arse, not my hand. A har har har

 

[Dan Steele]

6 hours ago, Gordon EF said:

Yep. I'm right-handed and hold the fork in my right hand. I prefer my dominant hand doing the tasks that need more dexterity. If my food had the consistency of a log of wood, I might reconsider.

If you pop round tomorrow night we can put that to the test as my wife is making the dinner.

[coprolite]

Fork in left hand= not deviant

[SlipperyP]

I''m right handed, but open bottles and jars with my left hand. Well actually both hand but the top hand being my left.

I also don't use a knife(we don't have any apart from meat cleavers) , I just pick up the food and bite it. Simple solution for a simple task. 

[Theroadlesstravelled]

The ultimate wrong’un behaviour is the cooncil shovel hawn. 

[G51]

4 hours ago, SlipperyP said:

I''m right handed, but open bottles and jars with my left hand. Well actually both hand but the top hand being my left.

I also don't use a knife(we don't have any apart from meat cleavers) , I just pick up the food and bite it. Simple solution for a simple task. 

Makes eating a lasagna much more interesting and fun too.

[SlipperyP]

6 minutes ago, G51 said:

Makes eating a lasagna much more interesting and fun too.

Remember you are communicating with a person that thought it was normal to eat (crunch) chicken bones until I was about 19.  Also my sisters always used to hit me when sitting round the dinner table because I would make growling noises when eating.

I'm getting better, not really.

[Highland Capital]

Stand around on a High Street to watch buskers and street performers.

Edited September 11, 2022 by Highland Capital